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by Heidi Marshall

  “Well, you call me if you need anything, okay?”

  “You can count on it. Now you be nice to Kate!”

  “I’m trying!” he said with a laugh.

  Kate shook her head. “Thanks, Mom.” She walked back over towards the doorway where Jacob stood. “It was really nice of you to bring over a meal. I appreciate it, and I know my mom does too.”

  “It’s the least I could do.” Pausing, he shuffled his feet.

  “Is there…something else?” Kate asked.

  Jacob took a deep breath. “I really am sorry for kissing you. That was out of line. And I know you’re seeing someone, so please don’t take this the wrong way. I just don’t want you to leave California without telling you that I think you are a truly incredible person.”

  Kate opened her mouth to speak, but she had no words.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that. I hope you have a safe trip back, and I hope…I hope you find everything you’re looking for.” He turned and walked away from the house. Glancing back, he yelled, “And cool it with the crying already. You’re going to dehydrate yourself.”

  Kate couldn’t see his satisfied grin as he walked towards his truck, nor could he feel that her heart was beating faster in her chest.

  Chapter 19

  Within a few days, Kate was back in Rocky Mount. Life continued surprisingly normally. She spoke on the phone with her mother every day, who was still at home recuperating. She made her mom promise that she was getting lots of rest so that she could recuperate. Kate volunteered to stay longer, but Olivia Henry was a stubborn woman. She insisted that she would be fine, so she sent her daughter home.

  “I’ve got plenty of friends who can drive me to my appointments,” Olivia said, “and I’ll get all the rest I need by sitting on the porch looking at my garden.”

  Because she had been so preoccupied with her mother and with that unsettling kiss from Jacob, Kate didn’t have much time to dwell on the fact that she hadn’t talked to Ben since before she left for Carmel. She had left him another voicemail when she returned home, but she hadn’t heard back from him. Since their last conversation hadn’t really given her any solid answers about where his head was at, Kate was starting to get anxious.

  “I wouldn’t worry about it,” said Darren over a quick lunch one day. “He gets so wrapped up in his work. I’m sure he’ll call you as soon as he gets a chance and everything will be fine. I’ve actually been trying to get ahold of him, too.”

  Kate put down her tuna sandwich and took a sip of water. “I don’t know, Darren. I kind of get the feeling that something is up.”

  “Oh don’t be ridiculous. Women are so silly!” Kate threw an olive at him. “Well, you are! You analyze every little thing and blow things out of proportion. Just because you haven’t talked to him in a few days doesn’t mean something is up. It means he’s busy at work.”

  “But you didn’t hear the conversation we had. I think he has doubts, Darren. I thought it was all going to be so easy and once we came back from the beach we would be together. I honestly didn’t even consider that he would need more time to figure things out.”

  “Kate, I saw the two of you together. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t want to be with you. But can you please stop worrying? I’m sure if he told you he needs time to figure things out, he meant it. If he didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t have been spending this much time on the phone with you since the beach. He wouldn’t even engage himself in a conversation where you ask him the tough questions.”

  “I didn’t tell you this, but I went up to DC to visit him. The weekend after we got back from the beach.”

  “What? How could you keep something like that from me?”

  “It wasn’t on purpose. Well…not really. It was all very spontaneous, actually. I drove up there on my day off and drove back that night. And then all the stuff with my mom happened, so I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

  “Fine, you can play the mom card. Just this once,” said Darren with a wink. “So…are you going to give me any details? But not gross mushy ones, please. He is my brother after all.”

  “We had a great time. And he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

  “For crying out loud, then what are you freaking out about, woman?”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll stop worrying,” said Kate, even though she knew that wasn’t possible until she talked to Ben again. “You’re coming over to Meredith’s tonight, right?”

  “Have I ever missed Friday Movie Night at Meredith’s?”

  “Point taken.” She chewed on a piece of cantaloupe. “Oh! The craziest thing happened when I was in California. I swear to you, I have the most bizarre life.”

  “Fitting, seeing as you are the most bizarre girl.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment. Okay, so my mom hired this gardener. His name is Jacob, and I met him at Christmas. We actually built this really cool stream together in the backyard. Anyway, he was the one who called me to tell me about my mom’s stroke, and he was in the hospital with her until I came.”

  “Is your mom romancing her gardener? This sounds like a made for TV movie.”

  “Um, no. He’s like 30. Gross. No, but you know my mom. She can make friends with anyone. And he’s over there a lot working on her garden, so it makes sense that they would be friends.”

  “I still want to see the movie. What would they name it? Digging His Way Towards Love? Cultivating Romance?”

  “A Thorny Seduction,” said Kate, joining in.

  “Yes! I love it. Okay, who would play your mom in the movie?”

  “Can I please finish my story?”

  “Fine. But we have a blockbuster on our hands.”

  “I’m sure. Anyway, Jacob was super helpful and nice to me, and he ended up giving me a ride back to the house from the hospital. We were sitting around chatting, and he totally started opening up to me and telling me all about his life. Which was weird, because he seems like a fairly quiet guy.”

  “What is the word ‘quiet’ that you speak of?”

  “Something you will never be. Especially when I’m trying to tell a story. So Jacob tells me this tragic story about how he proposed to his girlfriend and then she died that very same day.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “YES. They were snorkeling and she drowned. Can you believe it?”

  “That’s horrible.”

  “I know! This happened like ten years ago, but he still seems so tortured. So I was trying to say things to make him feel better, and the most random thing happened.”

  “What?”

  “He fully leans over the kitchen table and kisses me!”

  “He what?”

  “I know! I was completely shocked. Afterwards he apologized, and I could tell he was totally embarrassed. I think he just got caught up in the moment, and it sounds like he’s really lonely.”

  “So what did you do?”

  “Well I stopped it immediately, of course. For one, I barely know the guy. And even more importantly, I have a boyfriend.”

  “That’s right. A boyfriend who could totally beat up this Jacob guy.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Kate pictured Jacob in her mind, and could see his muscular tan arms and his sincere eyes. She would never admit to Darren, nor could she really admit to herself, that she felt a tiny rush of excitement when he gave her that unexpected kiss.

  “You need to stop kissing guys,” said Darren, his face scrunched into fake concern. “You’re going to get a disease or something. Geez, it seems like you’ll kiss just about anyone!”

  “I kissed you, didn’t I?”

  “My point exactly,” said Darren with a chuckle.

  Kate shook her head and wiped her hands on her napkin. “Okay, I really need to get back to the store. See ya tonight?”

  “You bet.”

  “And Darren? Please don’t tell anyone about Jacob.”

  ~~~~~

  �
��Okay, does everyone have popcorn? Anyone need a drink? A blanket? A tissue?”

  “Oh please, Meredith. Like I’m going to cry,” said Darren as he settled into a recliner with a bowl of buttery popcorn.

  “Okay, but you’re not allowed to get offended when we make fun of you once you’re wiping your eyes on your sleeve,” said Meredith. For the past couple of years, Meredith had been hosting the friends over at her house every month or so to watch a classic movie.

  “They don’t make ‘em like they used to,” she always said. Meredith always picked the movie and popped the popcorn, and Rick, Amy, Darren, Brooke, and Kate became the audience and escaped reality for a couple of hours. She loved having young people in her house, especially since her husband passed away. Meredith and Mark rarely missed a Friday classic movie night in their home when Mark was still alive, and Meredith wanted to keep the tradition alive with her granddaughter and friends.

  “In honor of our dear Kate and the beginnings of her epic love story, tonight I have chosen Sabrina for your viewing pleasure. Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn – such a wonderful movie.”

  “Oh for crying out loud, Meredith!” said Kate, obviously embarrassed. Her friends all chuckled at her pale skin, which had turned bright pink.

  “Hush. You’ll love it.”

  The group watched in silence as the wide-eyed Sabrina Fairchild developed feelings for David and Linus, two brothers. David was charming and exciting, while Linus was more serious and level-headed. As she grew and matured, Sabrina found a lasting love in Linus, although it was David she had loved for most of her life. When the movie was over, Kate found herself deep in thought. Rick and Amy left to relieve Amy’s parents from babysitting duty, and Darren and Brooke soon followed.

  “Did you enjoy the movie, dear?” asked Meredith, picking up a few pieces of stray popcorn and throwing them into the empty bowl.

  “It was beautiful. I loved it,” replied Kate.

  “Then why do you look so sad?”

  Kate offered a half-hearted smile. “Ben reminds me a lot of David from the movie. Spontaneous, passionate, a risk taker. And those can be good qualities in a person. But it was those things that made it impossible for David to settle down with Sabrina, even though he was absolutely obsessed with her once she came back from Paris. I think that’s what is happening with Ben. I think we met and it was all like a fairy tale, and now it’s time to snap out of it and really figure out how he feels. And I don’t know for sure, because I haven’t talked to Ben, but my intuition is telling me that he’s having a hard time making that decision. I think there’s a part of him that is afraid to give up his freedom. Everything just happened so quickly, and I’m afraid that all this time apart has given him a reason to find a way out.”

  “I don’t pity you young people. Men were so much different back in my day. I’ve seen you go through so much – first with Ian, and now all these doubts about Ben. I just want you to find someone who will know immediately how amazing you are and be willing to grab on tight to you and never let you go.”

  “That’s what I want, too. That’s what I’m looking for. I’m just starting to fear that it’s not out there.”

  “It’s out there, dear,” said Meredith. “And you’ll find it. I have faith in that.”

  ~~~~~

  The week went on and still, no word from Ben. Kate tried several text messages and phone calls, but nothing seemed to work. With every day that passed, she began to imagine more and more things that could be wrong. He didn’t want to do the long distance thing anymore. He had decided she wasn’t pretty enough. He had made his decision and he didn’t love her. Possible explanations raced through her mind day and night.

  When it had been nine days since Kate had talked to Ben, she had no doubt that something was wrong. What had happened to the Ben that talked to her every day? Even if he was busy, was he really too busy to find the time to send her a quick text message or make a phone call? Upset and unwilling to let it go, she decided to write Ben an email.

  Ben,

  I’m sorry that it had to end like this. I feel like I’ve done everything in my power to be honest and good to you, but for some reason you’re choosing to not speak to me. I cannot even begin to fathom what led you to this decision. I don’t know if I did something to upset you, or if you decided that you’d rather avoid me than have a difficult conversation with me – whatever it is, just know that you’ve underestimated me. I am a loyal and faithful friend, even through difficult times and uncomfortable conversations. But Ben, I can only be that person if you’re willing to be honest with me and treat me with respect. I’m sorry, but I simply can’t go from the few weeks that we had to being completely ignored with no explanation whatsoever. I think I deserve more than that from you.

  Remember how I told you that I thought you were a truly good person? I’m typically not wrong about people. I know you’re a good person. But I think you need to know that you’ve hurt me deeply.

  I hope that God richly blesses your life and that you are happy and fulfilled. I mean that in all sincerity.

  Kate

  When she finished the email she slammed her laptop cover closed and headed off to work in a huff. She knew her email may have been slightly irrational, but she didn’t know what else to do. It was like he had fallen off the face of the planet. When she got to work she told Meredith what she had done.

  “You know, hon, I think that was very brave of you. You deserve to be with a man who is so excited to be with you and can’t wait to talk to you. The very fact that he would let you go through that whole ordeal with your mom alone is inexcusable.”

  “Well…I…I didn’t actually tell him about my mom. I didn’t want to tell him over voicemail.”

  “Kate! I’m sure he would want to know what’s going on.”

  “You’re right, I’m sure he would. But I wanted him to call me back because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated to.”

  At that moment, Kate felt her phone buzz in her pocket. “It’s Ben!” she said as she looked at the screen. “I’m not answering it. I want to hear what he has to say before I talk to him.”

  The next two minutes seemed to drag on forever. Finally, when the voicemail notification popped up on her phone, Kate held her phone to her ear and listened to what Ben had to say. Kate, I just got your email, and I am so so so sorry. I’ve been really busy at work; I had a big assignment that was due and I have been working on it night and day, please don’t think that I have been intentionally ignoring you because I haven’t. I should have called you. I’m so sorry. Please call me as soon as you get this message. I’m going to try calling you back in an hour if I don’t hear from you, because I really want to talk to you and I don’t want you to be mad at me. I don’t know what else to say.

  She listened to the message twice and was so engrossed in every word that she didn’t even notice Meredith pretending to straighten up behind the counter as she tried to read Kate’s expression. When she hung up the phone, Meredith leaned over the counter and impatiently said, “Well?”

  “He…he said it wasn’t intentional. He said he’s been busy with work. I mean, he sounded sincere enough. But I just can’t understand how he could go this long without talking to me and think it’s okay. I don’t know…I’m still not convinced.”

  “Sounds like you need to have an actual conversation with him. Be honest, Kate. That’s the best advice I can give you. Don’t apologize for what you are feeling, because your feelings are valid no matter what they are. Tell him how he’s making you feel and don’t be afraid to ask him the tough questions.”

  Knowing Meredith’s advice was indeed wise, Kate nodded her head in agreement. She absent-mindedly worked through some invoices in her office for the next hour. She hoped he would keep his word of calling her back, and she definitely wasn’t going to make this easy on him by calling him. She was deep in thought when her phone buzzed loudly on her desk.

  Kate let the phone ring as she took severa
l deep breaths. After giving Ben a cool hello, he started into the same apologies that were left on her voicemail.

  “I hear what you’re saying, Ben. You were busy. I understand that. But what I don’t understand is how we can go from weeks of talking almost every single day to literally no contact all of a sudden like that. Didn’t you wonder what I would be thinking?”

  “I’m sorry! I’m just not very good at communicating.”

  “Are you kidding me? Even if you are bad at communicating, which I don’t believe you are, how was I supposed to know that? You’ve been nothing but a wonderful communicator since we first met. Can’t you understand that?”

  “You’re right, I should have called. I’m so sorry. I’ll do my best to be better about it in the future. Please forgive me. Please.”

  “I don’t know. It’s going to take me awhile. I want to believe you and trust you, but you need to know that it hurt me very much to think that you would be able to just stop talking to me like that without any warning.”

  “Kate. Listen to me,” said Ben softly. Even though she was angry and hurt, Ben just had a way of charming her. “You have every right to be upset. But you know me. You know I would never intentionally hurt you. I’ll earn your trust back. I will. I’m still planning on coming to town this weekend if you’ll let me. I think we really need to see each other.”

  “Yes,” she said with a sigh. “I think you should still come. Maybe once we spend some time together I can get past this. I don’t want to fight with you, Ben, but I don’t want to get hurt, either.”

  “I know. I won’t ever hurt you again. That’s a promise.”

  Kate hung up the phone feeling hopeful but still troubled. I hope this weekend will help us sort out this whole mess, she thought. I’m not willing to give up this easily. I still think he’s the one.

  Chapter 20

  “Daddy! Daddy! Lookit me!”