Dedication
For Lori Whitaker Thurman
For Kelli Tunson Bullard
Two women who epitomize the essence of true friendship.
Two women who always remember to be there for me.
Two women who I will always be there for also.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Praise
Also by Kimberla Lawson Roby
Copyright
About the Publisher
Chapter 1
THE REVEREND CURTIS BLACK PROOFED THE LAST LINE OF HIS NEWS column and e-mailed it to his editor. His deadline was noon tomorrow, and that meant he was cutting it rather close. Not purposely, of course, but primarily because he’d taken on a large number of commitments over the past month. Last week, he’d preached at a revival in Dallas five days straight, prepared his sermon for Sunday worship, and handled a ton of other pastoral responsibilities as soon as he returned to Mitchell, a city ninety miles northwest of Chicago.
Once upon a time, he would have thrived on traveling long distance, just to escape his home environment or whatever wife he was married to, but to his surprise, he no longer felt that way. Now he wanted nothing more than to spend as much time as possible with his wife and seven-year-old son. Charlotte and Matthew were his life, and he was proud of the fact that he’d been faithful to her the entire two years of their marriage. Which was quite an accomplishment on his part, since he hadn’t been true to either of his first two wives. He’d finally mastered the ability to resist temptation, and his world was better because of it. Still, he had to admit, it wasn’t always easy, not with two noticeably attractive women at the church constantly trying to come on to him. The forty-year-old was quiet and discreet with her advances, but the younger one was almost blatant. It didn’t matter one way or the other, though, because Curtis basically ignored them. He’d learned the hard way that sleeping with outside women just wasn’t worth it.
He flipped the light switch of his newly renovated study, engaged the security system, and walked out to the well-lit parking lot. After sitting inside his Cadillac SUV, the same one he’d driven for three years, he turned the ignition and drove away from the church. Life was a lot different, now that they were living in Mitchell, but Curtis couldn’t be happier. True, he was no longer earning five thousand per week, residing in a six-thousand-square-foot house, or preaching to a three-thousand-plus congregation, but based on Mitchell’s cost of living, he wasn’t doing badly, especially since he and Charlotte had founded Deliverance Outreach the first month of their relocation. They’d started out with maybe fifty members during the first six months, increased to just over a hundred the first year, and now they were easily five hundred strong. Curtis had built a well-known ministry that drew people in, but it certainly hadn’t hurt when another local pastor had retired and some of those members had sought a new church home. It also hadn’t hurt when he approached the local newspaper about doing a weekly column.
Before arriving in Mitchell, he’d written a church business plan, and when he’d realized he needed something that would get people stirred up and taking notice of him, he’d decided to submit a column to the Mitchell Post. The features editor was clearly interested but, after deciding that the material was a bit controversial, she asked Curtis to rethink some of his subject matter. He wasn’t happy about the request but decided to do whatever he needed to in order to get his work published.
In the beginning, he’d centered his column on polite topics such as the importance of going to church on Sunday, the reason families needed to pray together, what couples should do when their marriages were falling apart. But three months later, his editor left for vacation, and Curtis snatched his golden opportunity. His interim editor was much more liberal and quickly approved a piece that Curtis had written on atheism, its effect on society and how nonbelievers were going straight to hell. And as Curtis suspected, letters to the editor poured in at an unusual rate. Days later, the editor in chief called a meeting with Curtis and offered him more control over his topics, which ranged from teenage sex to gang violence to adultery, the latter being something Curtis knew a lot about. But once a month, he crafted inspirational messages, hoping to motivate his readers, and he was almost finished writing his first book, How to Have Almost Everything You Want. His editor in chief was also talking possible syndication for his column.
When Curtis arrived home, Matthew rushed toward him with a piece of paper.
“Dad, look what I have,” he said, beaming and hugging his father around his waist.
Curtis took the sheet of paper from his son and playfully grabbed him in a headlock. “What’s this?”
“It’s a permission slip for the Milwaukee zoo!”
“Wow. So you’re going to the zoo, huh?”
“Yep. And my teacher said that they need something called chaperones, too.”
“Really? And what exactly is a chaperone?”
“I’m not sure. But I think you could be one if you wanted, because she told us to ask our parents.”
“Is that so? Well, just so you know, a chaperone is an adult who escorts young children. They sort of watch over them.”
“Oh. Well, I really want you to go, okay?”
Curtis smiled at his son with all the love any child could stand.
“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Wait ’til I tell Jonathan and Elijah,” he announced. “We’re gonna have so much fun.”
Matthew brushed past his mother and ran back upstairs.
Charlotte smiled at her little boy, then strutted into the kitchen and over to Curtis.
“Hi, baby,” she said.
“Hey, beautiful.” Curtis pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
“What was that all about?”
“Field trip. His class is going to the zoo, and I told him I’d be a chaperone.”
“That little booger. He never said one word to me about any trip.”
“What can I say? Maybe he prefers spending time with his father,” Curtis teased, still holding his wife closely.
“That he does. Matthew is definitely a daddy’s boy.”
“That doesn’t bother you, does it?”
“Not at all. Nothing makes me happier than when I see the two of you together. Even with all your church obligations, you spend a lot of time with Matthew, and I’m really thankful for that.”
“And baby, I’m thankful for you. Very few women would have stuck by me. Not with everything I did and went through. But you still loved me no matter what. You’ve been the best wife, and I can’t thank you enough for being so supportive and so dedicated to the church. I love you so much,” he said and kissed her again. Curtis didn’t want to let her go. He wished he could hold her in his arms for the rest of his days
, because for the first time ever, he felt content. He felt as though God had forgiven him for all his transgressions and was allowing him another chance to do the right thing.
Charlotte loosened her embrace. “I hate to end this, sweetheart, but duty calls.”
“Baby, not tonight?” Curtis protested.
“Unfortunately, yes. I hate going back in, but the partners are working double time on this wrongful death case. And as their paralegal, I have to do the same. But after this week, I won’t have to put in so many hours because it looks like the trial will be over in a few days. We’ve finally got them cornered. And there’s a chance that the company we’re suing will be offering our client a huge settlement.”
Curtis tried to be excited for Charlotte, especially since her eyes always lit up whenever she spoke about her work, but in reality, he wanted her to quit and work full-time at the church. They’d discussed it a few times before, but Charlotte was clear on her disapproval. She worked for a top law firm in Mitchell, which was a privilege since she only had two years of work experience, but Curtis still wanted her by his side. He wanted them to concentrate on building their ministry.
Charlotte pecked Curtis on the lips, apologized again for having to leave, and went upstairs to throw on a jogging suit. Curtis walked down into the sunken family room, shed his blazer, and collapsed on the plush, oversized sofa. He scanned his surroundings and realized how satisfied he was with the way Charlotte had decorated their home. Every room had a distinct color scheme, and this was the red room. The living room was adorned in black and white, the dining room in off-white, and the kitchen displayed hues of browns, tans, and various shades of orange. Their master suite was graced with rich purples and greens, Matthew’s room was consumed with masculine blues, and the guest bedroom with dark and light teals.
Curtis turned on the television and then glanced at the fireplace mantel lined with photos. At first, he smiled, but when he saw the picture of Alicia, his sixteen-year-old daughter, his spirit dropped instantly. It was hard to forget about all the pain he’d caused for so many people. Seven years ago, he was ousted from a large Baptist church in Chicago due to his obsession with money, power, and women and, as a result, lost his first wife, Tanya, to her current husband. He’d also lost part of his daughter’s love. Alicia had even witnessed one of the deacons telling the entire congregation that Curtis had been sleeping with Adrienne, the deacon’s wife, and that Curtis had paid for Adrienne to have an abortion. Alicia had only been nine at the time and was devastated. Then, after leaving the ministry for five years, Curtis was offered another pastoral position at an even larger church and then married his second wife, Mariah. He could still kick himself for not being faithful to her. If he had, things surely would have turned out differently. He never would have started seeing Adrienne again, and she never would have shot him down from his own pulpit and then turned the gun on herself. It had been an absolute nightmare and the reason Curtis had made the decision to relocate. He’d wanted to move to a city like Mitchell where there were only one hundred fifty thousand residents. That way, he and Charlotte could found their own church and start their lives afresh. He’d wanted to give Matthew a normal, decent life, and thus far, they’d been able to do that. But the worst of all was that horrid incident Alicia had experienced at fourteen. She’d been begging Curtis to spend more time with her and acting out in obvious ways to gain his attention, but he hadn’t taken her seriously. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he’d had so many other responsibilities on his plate, and because he just didn’t think she’d resort to anything dangerous. But to his regret, she had. She’d formed an online relationship with a seemingly nice young boy who, in person, turned out to be a twenty-one-year-old drug dealer. She’d allowed him to pick her up from school and take her to his apartment, but when she refused to give him what he wanted, he took it anyway.
Charlotte and Matthew entered the family room, and Matthew dropped down next to Curtis, playing his Game Boy.
“Dad, let’s order a pizza.”
“Pizza? Don’t you ever get tired of that?”
“Nope. I could eat it over and over and over, every single day.”
“Apparently, so. But I was thinking more along the lines of Thai.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s similar to Chinese. And I know you like Chinese.”
“Yeah, but I want pizza.”
Charlotte smiled at Curtis. “Sorry.”
“So what time will you be finished?” Curtis asked.
“I don’t know, but I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can. I’m hoping I won’t have to be there more than a couple of hours.”
“We’ll miss you,” Curtis said.
Charlotte kissed Curtis on the lips and their son on his cheek.
“I’ll miss you guys, too. Oh, and Matthew has some homework that needs to be checked. Right, Matthew?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it. You just go so you can get back here.”
“I love you, too,” Charlotte said and headed toward the garage.
When she left, Curtis double-tapped the back of Matthew’s head, provoking a father-and-son wrestling match.
Chapter 2
CHARLOTTE COULDN’T REMEMBER EVER FEELING THE WAY SHE FELT right now.
“Oh my God, Aaron. Baby . . . you . . . are . . . driving . . . me . . . crazy,” she said between breaths. She was lying facedown across the king-size bed, savoring every moment of what she was getting: a very intense tongue-lashing.
Aaron Malone was six foot two and, ironically enough, reminded her of Curtis. Most people assumed they were brothers since they had the same muscular build and deep-mocha complexion. In a word, they were both gorgeous. The only difference was, Curtis had recently turned forty, and Aaron was five years his junior. Charlotte was ten years younger than that. But at twenty-five, she felt much older and wanted nothing to do with any man she was close in age to.
Aaron slid his tongue in and out of Charlotte’s ear, slowly and gently maneuvering across her neck. He mimicked the same exercise again and again and then rolled his tongue down the center of her back. He outlined her entire backbone. He worked his way toward her buttocks, licking back and forth and then returning to the starting position. Charlotte moaned deeply and wondered if she had died and gone to heaven.
Aaron suddenly raised his body from her. “Turn over for me.”
Charlotte gracefully obeyed and rested her head on two pillows.
Aaron locked his fingers inside hers and kissed her forcefully. She felt him growing harder and wanted to explode. They kissed wildly, and Aaron swerved his lower body, torturing but not entering her. Then, he moved his tongue inside her ear again, across the front of her neck, and devoured her breasts one at a time. Charlotte didn’t know how much more of this man she could take. She needed him inside her right now. But she knew he loved extended foreplay. He loved pleasuring her, so she never argued with him. She never tried stopping him from doing what he did best.
Aaron slid his body closer to the foot of the bed and flicked his tongue across her stomach with featherlike strokes. Charlotte closed her eyes, waiting for his grand performance.
“Hey,” he said. “You know I love you, right?”
“Yes, baby.”
“And that I would do anything for you?”
“Yes.”
“Then promise you won’t ever try to end what we have.”
“You know I would never do that, Aaron.”
Charlotte pulled him toward her and kissed him ravenously. Aaron pulled away, stared at her for a few seconds, and then nestled his head between her legs. Charlotte arched her back, caressing the sides of his face with her thighs, groaning and twisting her body with excitement. She was unquestionably on fire. Aaron loved her in perfect rhythm, and in seconds, Charlotte released one hot flame after another.
Then, like a reflex, Aaron eased inside her. He moaned loudly, working his groove f
ast and furiously. Sweat beaded on his skin, and Charlotte labored right along with him. They loved each other to an extreme, their hearts beating accordingly. The climax was as satisfying as always.
Aaron lay there, wordless and spent. Charlotte tried to rid herself of the guilt she was feeling. She knew what they were doing was flat-out wrong, but she just couldn’t get enough of Aaron. She couldn’t stop thinking about this man who, for the last two years, had been Curtis’s closest friend in Mitchell— and still was. Aaron was also a member of the church’s governing committee and the one person at Deliverance, besides Charlotte, who Curtis trusted completely. He trusted Aaron, because to Curtis’s knowledge, there was no reason not to. The mere thought of that made Charlotte feel worse. She’d even tried to break things off with Aaron, but it never worked. She tried, but she always ended up back in bed with him.
At first, she’d only been attracted to Aaron and never planned on taking things further. But eventually, they became close friends, and she found herself sharing secret information about her past and also her discontent with Curtis. Soon they were checking into hotel rooms on a regular basis. They’d had sex in every way possible, including ways that were probably illegal in certain states. They literally craved each other, and Charlotte didn’t know how she was ever going to end these trysts of theirs. She didn’t love Aaron, but she needed him.
If only Curtis had delivered the great and wonderful life he’d promised her, this might not be happening. While married to his first two wives he’d earned three and five thousand per week, respectively, was given a housing allowance and luxury vehicle, and received upward of fifty thousand dollars per year from love offerings and anniversary gifts. Now, though, he barely earned two thousand dollars a week and it wasn’t enough for her. It wasn’t even close. She expected and needed so much more than that, but Curtis kept insisting that she look at the bigger picture. He reminded her that if they stuck to the plan, she’d have everything she’d ever dreamed of. But two long years of mediocrity had caused her to lose a certain amount of respect for Curtis and was one of the reasons she slept with Aaron every chance she got. She was starting to feel as though she’d signed some get-rich-quick contract that hadn’t paid what it was supposed to. Curtis, on the other hand, had gotten everything he wanted—that church, which she couldn’t care less about, and the son he wanted to raise so badly. Actually, if it hadn’t been for Matthew, she would probably leave Curtis. It wasn’t like she couldn’t live without him, and she was tired of all the pretending she did on Sunday mornings, anyway. Curtis didn’t know it, but she hated being first lady of their church. Hated the label and all the expectations that went along with it. So Curtis could forget about her ever leaving her job, because it just wasn’t happening.
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