Freed by You

by Danielle Fox

  “Today, we’ll be looking at things from a different perspective,” Mr Olsen began, “this term, we’ve been focusing on the sheer drive and determination that we all need in order to survive in a business as competitive as ours, so for this reason we’ll be having a visitor today, a previous student of mine. A tremendously talented ex-student, may I add.”

  The sounds of whispers and shuffling feet surrounded the room as people began questioning which famous actor would be paying us a visit. I could almost feel the excited energy that filled the large classroom.

  “Before you all get ahead of yourselves, no, it isn’t Gerard Butler or Brad Pitt, sorry to disappoint you ladies; in fact, he began as an actor, starred in a couple of highly successful movies in the nineties as an adolescent, but decided on a different career path. He is now locally famous in his own right for becoming one of the youngest and most successful entrepreneurs that London has ever bred. So, needless to say, he knows all too well how important drive and determination are, and I’m sure he has more of those than most. So, enough of the dramatics, I can see the suspense is killing you boys and girls and I’m sure he’s got a busy schedule.” Mr Olsen glanced back over his shoulder and chuckled quietly to himself. “Please welcome, Mr Julian Scott!” he beamed, waving his extended arm toward the back of the room.

  Nothing alarmed in my head at this moment, I wasn’t aware that it should have done. That was until I saw the face of the man who was approaching us. My mouth dropped open. Oh shit, oh shit, I was repeating the mantra in my head, my foot drumming nervously against the hard wood floor. Please don't let him recognise me, I pleaded silently. As Mr Julian Scott stopped in front of our group he raised his head with a stern professional-like smile and introduced himself.

  “Good morning, I’m Julian Scott. It’s a pleasure to have been invited here today, back to what I believe was the starting point of my success,” he began.

  I could hear the whispered voices and hushed giggling of the girls beside me and I could only imagine what every female student in this room was thinking right now. This very thought bothered me more than it should have done as my stomach twisted with jealousy.

  This man was incredible to look at, even more incredible than the man that invaded my memories from the previous evening. He was even more beautiful in life. His voice was soft but stern, it was impossible not to be drawn to him as he spoke, impossible not to listen. I withdrew my gaze as his eyes began to scan over the group of students before him. I instinctively lowered my head and focused on a scrap of what looked like a chewing gum wrapper discarded on the floor beside my feet, hoping he wouldn’t notice me.

  All the same feelings of embarrassment and humiliation washed over me again, the memory so fresh in my mind, as I felt a pair of intense green eyes fixate on the top of my head. How? How could I possibly know if he was looking at me when my eyes were fixated on the floor? I took a steadying breath and glanced up sheepishly, and sure enough, a pair of intense green eyes bored into mine.

  His voice halted and he seemed to lose his sentence midway through before he tore his eyes away from mine, a furrow appearing between his dark brows. His head appeared to shake ever so slightly. He masked his distraction easily with a single cough and sipped at his glass of water before returning it to the desk. Then, he confidently continued with his story, recalling a time when he studied here himself. He had received top marks in his studies here and, by the sounds of it, was no less than a perfect student and a very talented actor.

  “I realised after the second film, of which some you may know, named The Lost One, that my dreams and ambitions had changed, for reasons I won’t bore you all with today. I was just fourteen when I played the part of Christopher and it was a tough part to play, believe me, but I was determined to succeed and so I did. And when the hype of the film was over I was even more determined to succeed but in other areas. When I turned eighteen I invested some of the money I had earned into a small publishing business, having always had a passion for reading and poetry, and here I am today. Determination can be draining but it’s so important that you never lose it! Without it you will achieve nothing!” he spoke in an authoritative tone.

  I could feel the passion radiating off of him as he described his brief, but albeit successful acting career. It was clear to me that he felt very passionately about acting so, why had he given up on it? If he’s so full of determination – which, let’s face it, that's what this lecture was about – then why did he give up on something he clearly felt so strongly about? I shook my thoughts away, realising the fact that they shouldn’t have been bothering me quite as much as they were, and continued to watch him as he spoke.

  As he finished his speech the room erupted into applause. I clapped my hands along with the others, looking down at my feet again when his gaze met directly with mine.

  “Mr Scott will sadly be leaving us now, but I hope that you have all learned a lot from his experiences that he has had the kindness of sharing with you today.” Mr Olsen spoke loudly in order to capture the attention of the girls, still whispering and giggling, beside me. Julian Scott raised his head and his eyes found mine, a furrow appearing between his brows once more.

  “Actually, Mr Olsen, I have half an hour to spare if anyone would like to ask me any questions?” he offered, raising his perfect brows as he maintained eye contact with me.

  Mr Olsen declined, stating that he must have much more important business to attend to, but Mr Scott insisted, and so he stayed.

  The females in the room were the first to the front, all fingering their hair and pouting their lips, eager for Julian Scott to notice them. It was actually quite depressing to watch as they each left their composure behind them as desperation took over. I hovered by the back of the room, mindlessly scribbling pointless notes in my work pad.

  “Hey, babes. What’s up?” Adrian’s voice startled me out of my daydream.

  “Hey, you!” I replied, nudging him gently with my shoulder. “Nothing’s up, I’m just worn out that’s all. How are things with you?” I asked, greeting him with a wide smile that came straight from my heart.

  Adrian was the kindest man I had ever known. He was thoughtful and caring and had looked after me and took my side in every debate since we started classes here. We had both felt a connection to one another from the first day we met and we had been good friends ever since. He was a big guy, all muscles and abs as a result of his regular gym visits. He often tried his best to persuade me to accompany him to these sessions, of which I always declined. I had never been interested in workout sessions; I preferred a few light exercises in the comfort of my own home – usually with Maia assisting me.

  I relaxed in Adrian’s presence. He made me feel safe, partly due to his size, I suppose. I knew he’d always defend me if the occasion arose and that thought comforted me.

  As I chatted to Adrian, I fixed my eyes on the beauty at the front of the room. He appeared irritated, impatient as his finger and thumb rubbed at his eyebrows as if to disguise his frown. He regularly glanced in my direction before tearing his eyes away to focus on whichever bimbo was talking to him now.

  Twenty minutes had passed since the end of his speech. Ten more minutes, I thought, again feeling that familiar sting of disappointment but unsure as to why. Ten more minutes and I could carry on with my usual learning strategies without his unnerving presence.

  Adrian shuffled away from me, eager to speak to Mr Scott himself. I watched him move towards the front of the room where Mr Scott still stood, glancing again in my direction. I watched as Mr Scott exchanged pleasantries and excused himself from the ever-eager Jennifer and my mouth dropped open as he confidently strode right past Adrian and headed straight for me, his eyes fixed on mine. I quickly tried to compose myself and snapped my mouth shut.

  “Hi. Miss Braxton, isn’t it? I believe we met last night.”

  “Yes, unfortunately we did,” I replied, looking down at my dirtied walking boots. Why didn't I wear Samantha’s
heels this morning?

  “Unfortunately, you say? I would have said the pleasure was more fortunate.” His voice rose at the end of his remark, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

  “Well, that’s because you didn’t make a complete fool of yourself in front of your new boss!” I smirked.

  “And you think you did?”

  “Well, yes. I think it’s safe to say I did.”

  “I think it’s safe to say that that wasn’t your fault, I take full responsibility. But I would strongly disagree with your first comment and say that it was definitely fortunate that I flew through the door when I did.”

  I felt my brows tighten as I tried to figure out what that comment was supposed to mean. I couldn’t.

  “And, how was that fortunate, exactly?”

  “Well, otherwise I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of saving you,” he whispered as he leaned in closely towards my face, too closely, actually.

  I blushed under his heated gaze. I did not expect that, at all. What was with this guy? He had seemed so pissed at me last night yet now, apparently, it was a good thing he had nearly took my head off.

  “Besides, Ryan is your boss, I own the club but he runs it.” He moved away slightly, leaving a more appropriate distance between us and I desperately tried to mask my heavy breaths. As he straightened himself, he changed the subject. “So, you don’t have any questions for me, Miss Braxton?” he asked, his eyes searching my blushing face, looking almost disappointed.

  “Just the one, if you don’t mind me asking?” I peeked up from under my thick lashes, not daring to fully meet his gaze and unsure whether my sudden burst of courage was going to last long enough for me to speak my question.

  “I most certainly do not mind, Miss Braxton.”

  I lowered my head, trying to encourage my hair forward in order to hide behind it. And, with my heart pounding inside my chest, I took a deep breath. “Why were you so pissed at me last night?”

  His intense stare unsettled me. His eyes narrowed momentarily before his frown returned and his nostrils appeared to flare slightly as he inhaled a long breath. Then, he abruptly spun around and walked away, leaving me hanging.

  I watched from across the room as he took Mr Olsen’s hand in a firm shake and exited the room without glancing back.

  Chapter Four

  I lay in bed later that evening, my head heavily occupied with thoughts of Julian Scott. I replayed our two brief encounters over and over, trying to figure out where and when everything went so wrong. I couldn’t. What had I done to upset him so much? Had I done anything at all, or was I submissively taking blame for something I had no control over? Maybe he was always that cold and rude towards people?

  His words continued to resound in my head: ‘Otherwise I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of saving you.’ What did that mean? Maybe there was a small part of him that didn’t hate me. Although I doubted that after the way he stormed out when I plucked up the courage to ask him my one and only question.

  ‘Otherwise I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of saving you.’ Why had that been a pleasure? It seemed considerably more like an inconvenience to him, if my memory served me correctly. Maybe he had felt the same electricity as I had when our bodies were pressed against one another’s? Or, more than likely, he was just glad he didn’t actually knock me down, after all, how would he explain a dead body slumped at the bottom of his stairs? I couldn’t find a single answer to the questions that refused to leave my overcrowded brain. This bothered me a lot. The new stronger me had sworn to never be under a man’s grip ever again. I liked to keep the control of my own emotions in my own corner, always keeping a tight grip on them. I wouldn’t allow myself to fall in love, or to grow close to a man ever again, at least not while Maia was so dependent. I had vowed to myself that I would never let another man into our lives, she was all I needed and I her. My barriers remained high and I refused to let anybody through them, so why was Julian Scott having such an uncontrollable effect on my emotions?

  I had bumped into him only twice – once quite literally – and yet it was if his moods and emotions had some kind of hold over me. Why had I felt so tensed and strangely uneasy today as I watched him cringe under Jennifer’s heated gaze? It was as if it deeply bothered me to see him so obviously uncomfortable. Why did I care? I didn’t know him and I didn’t particularly want to either. Or so I told myself.

  There was a gentle knock on my bedroom door.

  “Come in,” I mumbled. My voice sounded husky and thick with sleep.

  As I squinted into the light I saw a dark figure standing beside my bed. I blinked rapidly as I attempted to force my eyes to adjust to their sudden awareness.

  Before I could react he was clambering on top of me, his crushing weight pinning me to the mattress beneath me. I thrashed my legs out, trying desperately to escape my intruder but I couldn’t move, his heavy legs wrapped tightly around mine and held them in place while his elbows pierced into my soft biceps. I could hear the blood pulsing through my head, behind my eyes and thrumming loudly in my ears as I tried to make sense of what was happening. I couldn’t. Then the light was gone and I was surrounded by darkness, a pitch black that I knew no way out of.

  As his overbearing weight crushed my chest I struggled to fill my lungs with the air they so desperately craved. I thrashed my head powerfully from side to side as his wet mouth searched for mine, his tongue jabbing out violently each time he gained his contact. His heavy panting breaths attacked my entire face in waves of warm moisture, suffocating me as I gasped for clean air. I opened my mouth to scream for Samantha but this only invited him in further as he drowned my screams with his mouth, almost choking me with his tongue as it rammed against the back of my throat. I could smell warmed lager on his breath, I could taste it. I shuddered as loud, echoing heaves escaped my chest as I struggled to fight against the bile that was rapidly rising in my throat.

  Then I noticed light again, a bright light above me. I felt my body turn limp as I gave up my protest, my muscles unable to push against his sheer strength any longer, and I let the tremors course through me.

  “Head for the light, baby girl. Head for the light!” I heard through the pounding in my head. It was a female’s voice, where was it coming from? “Follow the light.” Now the voice was soothing, familiar.

  I gasped aloud as I bolted upright on my bed, my eyes searching for the danger.

  “It’s just me, it’s okay. You were having another nightmare,” Samantha soothed. I threw my trembling hands over my face and rubbed aggressively as a loud sob echoed around my small room. “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe now, I’m here.” Samantha wrapped her arms around my shoulders and rocked me back and forth, the way a mother would cradle her child, as I sobbed hopelessly.

  I rolled over and looked at the clock as I awoke the following morning; 10.13am. Shit, Maia! I bolted out of bed and raced down the stairs as a heavy feeling of dread coursed through me.

  “Maia!” I flew the door open, leading into the front room and found Maia snuggled into Samantha’s arms, giggling at the TV.

  “Hey, sleepyhead. Sorry, I didn’t mean to panic you; I wanted to let you sleep,” Samantha explained. I slumped onto the sofa beside Maia and patted my lap for her to join me.

  “No, it’s fine. Please, don’t apologise. Thank you, you really are amazing, do you know that?” I smiled appreciatively at Samantha as I pulled my fingers through Maia’s hair.

  “I know,” she mused. “Do you want tea?”

  “Oh, yes please.”

  She was my saviour. I adored Samantha. I wondered briefly where my life would be now if she hadn’t taken me in when I was eighteen. Probably somewhere very dark and very miserable and that was a place I never intended to visit again. With no mother to guide me through my teenage years, I completely lost all sense of direction for a while. I was in with the wrong crowd, as my father repeatedly warned me. But, I regrettably ignored his warnings and sure enough landed my
self in the sort of trouble I could never have even imagined. Samantha picked up the pieces of my broken shell and practically nursed me back to life again and she had never left my side since.

  The three of us spent the day together watching DVDs under a duvet on the sofa. This was Maia’s favourite thing to do on a Saturday. She loved Samantha as much as she loved me, I assumed, so she loved nothing more than the three of us spending time together – as a family. Samantha told me all about her lunch date with Michael; she was seeing him again tomorrow evening as I was home with Maia. I filled her in with the details of yesterday’s encounter with Mr ‘I’ve got a serious personality disorder’. She found his mood swings just as quizzical as I did.

  At 7.30pm, I kissed Maia good night and set off on my way to work. I wondered briefly if Ryan had caught the bastard that assaulted Suzie on Thursday, I would be sure to ask when I arrived. I was confident that I wouldn’t be bumping into Mr Scott tonight, literally or otherwise, as Ryan had said he rarely visits his own club. I felt more confident now that my first night was over with and I found myself actually looking forward to work tonight.

  Samantha had pinned my waves up tightly at the back of my head with no tendrils daring to escape – yet! With my hair back off my face, I felt stronger somehow, like I had nothing to hide my regularly flushing cheeks behind and therefore had to deal with people head on, with as much eye contact as I could manage. The style looked elegant and sophisticated and exaggerated my defined cheek bones. Wearing more make up than usual, I felt good; another first for me.

  Ryan had approached me as soon as I had arrived.

  “You’re looking lovely, Miss Braxton,” he had told me. Of course, I had blushed deeply and looked down at Samantha’s boots, unable to cling onto my new found confidence when receiving a direct compliment. I had never been good at that. Compliments embarrassed me greatly; I simply did not know how to accept them.