“Trevor,” I warn him, but he doesn’t hear me. He presses up against Ryan, their noses hitting, but Ryan doesn’t take a step back.
“Whatever you feel like you gotta do, do it,” he gives Trevor a hard gaze, one I never thought I’d see between the two of them. “But know, I don’t regret a single second of it.”
I scream when my brother lays the father of my child flat on his back with one punch to the chin. It kills me that Ryan didn’t block it and hasn’t fought back. He won’t fight his friend.
“Damnit, Trevor,” I’m up out of my chair, grabbing him by the arm, where he’s standing over Ryan. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Me?” He turns to face me. His normally laughing face and smiling mouth are dark and in a deep frown. “What the fuck’s wrong with him? What the fuck’s wrong with you? It’s in the best friend code – you don’t fuck your best friend’s sister!”
Now I’m pissed. Even though it was a one-night stand, it’s turned into so much more. How dare he cheapen it by calling it fucking? I’m ready to lay into him, but Ryan’s on his feet now, not even wiping the blood off his face.
“I’m willing to let you beat me down and call me names and not put up a fight because we’ve been through some shit together, Tank,” his voice steely as he pushes me behind him, protecting me from the wrath of a pissed-off brother. “But you’ll not talk about her like that ever again. You don’t know what happened between us, or what’s been happening between us. So not knowing means keep your mouth shut. Just because you go around fucking women and throwing them away when they don’t do what you want them to doesn’t mean I do the same thing. Treat your sister with some damn respect.”
I look over Ryan’s shoulder, not believing what I’m seeing from my brother. “I’m really disappointed in you, Trevor,” I’m close to tears because I’m hormonal and I don’t want them to be at odds with one another. “Out of everyone I know I have to tell, I was most excited to tell you because you know how much I’ve always wanted a baby. You were there numerous times when I would take a negative pregnancy test before.” I take a fortifying breath and make myself more vulnerable than I have in a long time. “Hell, I called you while you were overseas and cried to you – in so many ways you were my support system. How can you not be excited for me?”
Trevor’s eyes meet mine and I can see the war he’s fighting within himself. He wants to be happy, I can tell. He wants to enjoy this with me, be excited for me, but he’s holding himself back. “With Ryan?”
I nod, giving him a small smile. “He’s your best friend,” I remind him. “If he’s the best for you, why wouldn’t he be the best for me?”
“This is just going to take some getting used to,” he admits, running a hand through his hair. “Shit, I can’t believe the two of you…” He trails off, shaking his head.
“Trust us,” Ryan pulls me forward so that I stand next to him, his arm around my waist. “We’ve had months. You’ve had a few minutes.”
There’s silence, and then I hear my dad speak. “Even if your brother’s not excited baby girl, we are.” He stands with his arm around my mom. “When you walked in today you were lit from the inside out. I haven’t seen you look this way in years, and if Ryan’s the one making you happy, then so be it. He’s been in this family a long time, and it’s good to know he’s going to have a permanent spot. He’s one of the best men I know, and if he’s given you two of the things you’ve always wanted, a baby and commitment, then who am I to judge? Now would I have preferred the two of you been married and then announced this? Yeah, but life never goes quite the way we plan. It’s too short. Your brother will learn that sooner or later.”
I walk over to my parents, giving them both hugs as I let a few more tears fall. The breath comes to my lungs easier and I can finally relax, let myself be excited without this dark cloud hanging over me. Now that it’s all out in the open, I’m ready to start truly enjoying life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Renegade
“Are you okay with not sitting with your family?” I take Whitney’s hand in mine as we wait for the fireworks to start. We’re sitting on the tailgate of my truck, in the back of the football field away from everyone, but still where we can be a part of the celebration.
Around us families are eating leftover bar-b-que, kids are running around with sparklers, dogs are giving them chase, and parents are taking a few minutes to breathe, knowing this is a safe spot for those kids. Someone’s set up a kiddie pool and slide to the left of us, and I laugh as I see Holden take his shirt off, taking a ride down the slip-n-slide. Something about the summer air and the Fourth of July makes everyone festive.
“Yeah, I think we both need to have our own separate conversations with Trevor, but tonight I’m not up for it.”
I can tell, she looks like she’s wilting in the heat. “You look like you’re about to fall over,” I offer her the bottle of water I’m drinking.
“It’s just been a long day, but I definitely wanna see the fireworks.”
“Do you want to sit in the truck and turn on the air for a minute?” It’s the easiest thing I can think to do.
“No, I’ll just be even hotter when I get out,” she turns around and glances at the concession stand. “I would love a snow cone, though.”
The cute little smirk on her face is my undoing. I’m already off the truck and on my feet. “You want grape, right?”
“It amazes me how well you know me, when I didn’t think you ever paid attention.”
Leaning in, I pull her down for a quick kiss. “I told you babe, I been paying attention for a long time.”
I let my thoughts drift as I walk over to the concession stand. Normally, it sells snacks and drinks for the football games, but tonight it’s doing a hopping business for the fireworks show. The line is long, but it swings around to where the ambulances are parked. I see Blaze talking to Tank. I also know they will probably have an ice pack, which will feel good to Whitney. Regardless of how Tank and I feel about each other, I want her to be comfortable.
“I don’t want to interrupt,” I approach them. “But do you have an ice pack I could give to Whit? She’s really hot.”
Blaze looks up at Tank and then back at me. “Congratulations are in order, I hear,” she grins before she gets up and walks back into the ambulance. When she comes out, she carries an ice pack. “Just crack it and shake it up. Put it down the back of her shirt. That’s a good point for her to start cooling off.”
“She probably shouldn’t be out in this damn heat,” Tank mumbles, looking at me with open animosity.
“I don’t want to fight with you, and I’m willing to take your anger, but place it where it needs to be. Not at her.”
“Oh, I’m plenty fucking pissed at the both of you. Someone should have told me. I was there when she found out she was pregnant. What? You couldn’t pull me aside and be like ‘dude, it was me’?”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t your business, Tank,” I’m getting irritated, and I can tell he is, too.
“She’s my business.”
I stand face-to-face with him. “She’s mine too, and the baby she carries, also mine. You, of all fucking people…” I cut off, not sure I can finish my sentence, because Tank knows so much about my home life when I was a kid. “Know what having a child means to me. You know I want to be in this kid’s life, and you know I’m not going to do anything to threaten any of it.” I let my voice drop as I get closer. “You also know I’ve had it bad for her for years. Why can’t you be happy for me?”
Some of the anger has drained out of his face, and I know I’ve hit on the one soft spot he might have where this is concerned.
“This is gonna be your niece or nephew man. Be pissed at me for a few days, be irritated at her for a few days, but find a way to get over it. Finally, we’re going to be family, like we always talked about when we were little. I understand you’re shocked – I was, too. She told me she couldn’t have kids, but you k
now where in the fuck that came from.”
“Yeah,” he runs a hand through his longish blonde hair. “I do know where that came from, and I’m glad as fuck she didn’t have this kid with him.”
“There, I have something going for me already.”
Silence stretches between us for what feels like three long beats and I know I need to get back to Whitney.
“I’ll let y’all get back to whatever it was you were talking about,” I hold the ice pack in my hands, using it to gesture with. “But know you’re always gonna be my best friend, Trevor, and I’m going to need you now more than ever. And so will she.”
When I turn around, I can feel his gaze on me, can tell he’s still fighting with himself. But I was honest, and I have to let him get over the shock on his own. It’s the only way we’ll be able to salvage a friendship out of this.
Whitney
“Thank you for the snow cone and the ice pack. It’s made a huge difference,” I snuggle next to Ryan as we lay in the back of his pickup. He found a blanket and a couple of jackets. Now we’re snuggled up, him leaning against the back and me laying against his chest, waiting on the fireworks.
The night sky has finally turned an inky black. I wasn’t sure whether that sun would ever go completely down. It lingered on the horizon forever, almost as if it didn’t want to say goodbye.
Fireworks have always been my favorite part of the Fourth of July.
“Do you think Trevor will forgive us?” I whisper as I play with the material of his shirt.
“Oh yeah,” he answers immediately. “Trevor’s in shock, just like we were when we found out. It’s going to take him a little while, but he’ll be the most excited uncle there ever was when he gets over it.”
“Do you think he’ll get over it soon? I hate when he’s mad at me, and he hasn’t been this mad at me in a while.”
He laughs, soft puffs of air against my forehead. “He’s mad at you? I have to patrol with him in the morning. That’s going to be an interesting ride.”
“I’m sorry,” I tuck my bottom lip between my teeth, hoping to keep in the emotion I’m feeling. I hate being emotional all the time, but it’s the curse of this pregnancy for me. “I never wanted to come between the two of you.”
“You haven’t,” he tilts my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Tank knows how I feel about you, has always known how I felt about you. I’ve never tried to hide it.”
Which is crazy to me. “How did I not know? The one person who should have?”
“You didn’t want to know?” He tightens his arms around me. “You were a married woman and before that I was a teenage kid. It’s not something you would have been looking for, and it definitely wasn’t something I wanted to tell you.”
The only thing I can think about is how much time I wasted with Stephen when he tells me these things. I do understand where he’s coming from, the age difference would have kept me away more than anything else. It still makes me uneasy, I can’t imagine how I would have reacted as a thirty-year-old and him being a twenty-year-old. Maybe we both had to grow up in order to accept the tenuous relationship we have now. I want to say something else, but the lights at the field shut off.
“Ooh, it’s time!”
I jump as the first firework explodes in the air, bright colors of pink and green, holding onto Ryan tightly as another batch explode to our left. This group is red, white, and blue. I’ve always felt patriotic because of Trevor, but being held in this man’s arms who served his country, it means a lot more to me now.
Tearing my eyes away from the beautiful sky, I look up at him, only to see he’s looking at me. Our gazes meet, and then I don’t care about the damn fireworks anymore. The look in his eyes is so soft, so passionate, that I can’t take it anymore. I grip his shirt, hauling myself to him, fusing our lips together in one of the hottest kisses we’ve ever shared.
“Nobody’s watching,” he breathes into my ear as I jerk my mouth away from his, straddling him and start canting my hips.
I’ve never done anything like this before, but Ryan does this to me, makes me this wild person who wants nothing but him. I know the fireworks are at least a fifteen-minute show and when his hands grip my ass, pushing me against the hardening length in his shorts, I can’t help it. Fuck it, I grind against it, fusing my mouth with his again. The noise of the booms encourages me, sending me further on my journey as I thrust against him.
Fully clothed, we’re like two teenage kids dry humping in the back of their dad’s truck at the Fourth of July. Thank God we parked so far away from everyone else. I groan loudly as he slips one hand off my ass and trails it up my tank top and underneath to where he grasps my bikini covered breast with the palm of his hand. My nipples are more sensitive than they’ve ever been, and as I feel the warmth of his skin, it pulls tight, stabbing into him.
“Oh God,” I shake as I pull out of the kiss, throwing my head back as I continue to ride his shorts.
His fingertips grasp the nub, pulling almost painfully, but damnit if that’s not what I need right now. I can feel my body speeding up to the fireworks in the sky. I know the crescendo is coming for both me and the show that we should be watching. Increasing my speed, I sit up, using my knees for leverage and move his hand out of the way, grasping my own tits, worrying the nipples between my own fingers.
“C’mon Whit, the shows almost over,” he moves his hand down to the leg of my shorts, sneaking two fingers up, not even going under the barrier of my swimsuit bottoms. When the tips of his fingers graze my clit I explode, falling down on top of him, burying my face in his throat, and latching on tightly as I suck the flesh to keep myself from screaming. I don’t want people to know what we’ve been doing over here.
“Fuck,” he flexes his other hand against my ass, as I continue to rock slowly against him.
“Jesus,” I breathe out, rubbing against him like I’m a cat, my body is still sparking. If we were at my house by ourselves, I’d want it again. I can feel him hard against me.
“Let’s get in the truck,” he says before the lights come back on.
We scramble, me on shaky legs, feeling the wetness between my thighs. My gaze is a little unfocused and I wonder just what in the hell this man drives me to do, even in public. Getting into the truck, he unbuttons his jeans and slips them down, lower on his hips.
“Fuckin’ hell that feels so much better,” He breathes out as he throws the truck into drive. We realize we’re one of the first trucks out of the gate, we don’t even have to wait in line. When we’re on the open highway, I reach over, grasping his cock in my hand.
“Whitney, holy shit. You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to. I want you to have what I had, I want to feel you come against me.”
“I’d rather come in you,” he lets his head fall back against the seat of the truck for a second.
Challenge accepted. I move to unbuckle my seatbelt and then kneel, pushing his boxers down and take him in my mouth.
“Jesus fuck,” he grasps my hair in one of his hands.
“Watch the road,” I laugh as I pull my mouth off his length.
I’ve never been one to enjoy this particular act, but with Ryan I love it. His taste is like bourbon, hot and spicy on my tongue. I hollow out my cheeks as I suck him down, and he groans loudly.
“Ain’t gonna be long, Princess. You got me pretty worked up back there.”
If the way he’s thrusting his hips into my mouth is any indication, this will be over even quicker than he thinks it will be. One more shove into my mouth and I feel him spilling against my throat. With no other choice but to swallow, I do so happily.
“Son of a bitch, Whitney,” he pants, keeping both hands on the wheel as I let him go with a pop of my mouth.
“Happy Fourth of July,” I grin over at him, wiping at my chin.
He gathers me next to him, and we ride home. Me with a silly grin on my lips and a happy flutter in my heart.
CHAPTER TWEN
TY-FIVE
Renegade
I’m sort of surprised when I show up at the station to get into our car the next morning and see Tank already there. I figured he’d call in or get someone to switch with him instead of being stuck with me for the day.
“Morning,” I hand him the cup of coffee I always bring both of us.
He grunts something to me that may be morning back, but I’m not sure. If this is any indication on how this ride is going to go, maybe I ought to turn around and go back home. For the first three hours, we ride in complete silence. When my cell phone chimes with a new text message, I’m excited that it gives me someone to talk to.
W: Hey handsome! How’s it going with my brother?
R: We haven’t said but two words to one another. He took my coffee though, so maybe it’s a good sign? How are you today? You were sleeping hard when I left this morning.
W: It’s because someone wore me out last night.
R: No, I’m pretty sure that was you humping my dick in the back of my truck, and then you giving me road head as we went home. Kinda think you wore me out.
“Can you at least wipe the stupid ass smirk off your face when you’re texting her?”
Tank’s cool voice dims the excitement I had at her texting me a small amount. “I can, but it’s not going to change how I feel about her, how she makes me feel in return. Why don’t you tell me what your deal is?”
He’s quiet for a long time, longer than I would like for him to be, and I wonder if he’s going to be honest. Finally, after giving up on it, he starts to speak. “I know how your parents were when we were growing up, and I know you desperately want to right the wrongs they did to you with your own kid. But I worry, what if those demons come for you? We don’t know what happened with your mom – not really – and your dad is a piece of shit on a good day. I don’t want my sister and niece or nephew to be touched by that,” he ends with a hand beat heavily against the steering wheel. “And I feel like a fucking piece of shit for even saying it, because I know what a good man you are, Renegade. I know I’d lay my life down for you, and I know you’d lay yours down for me. But those thoughts are keeping me awake.”
Renegade (Moonshine Task Force Book 1) Page 14