“She went home for the morning,” he answers, when he sees me looking over at the cot she’s been sleeping on. “I told her I hoped you’d be here.”
I lift up the bag I have in my hand. “We haven’t missed a Thanksgiving morning unless you were overseas since you were sixteen,” I grab his table and start setting up the pancakes and bacon I brought. “You can have this, right?”
“Yeah, they’re about to kill me with the liquid shit they had me on,” he sits further up in the bed, raising his leg. “I feel like I’ve lost twenty pounds.”
He looks it too. That’s one thing I can’t get over, he looks sick and I can’t stand to see it. I keep reminding myself he’s okay, he’ll be fine. It’s going to be a bit of a tough climb back, but overall, Trevor will be okay.
“We’ll fatten you back up in no time, especially with the way I’m eating now.”
His bruised face looks over at me. “How are you feeling? Blaze told me you’d had some contractions?”
“It’s okay, it’s just the shock of everything. Nothing for anyone to worry about, I promise,” I take a bite of my own pancake, moaning when the syrup explodes against my tongue. Lately I love pancakes.
“I wish I enjoyed food as much as you do right now,” he laughs.
“Ryan says the same thing sometimes.”
We’re quiet for a few minutes and I’m content to sit with him, to enjoy his company. “Has everybody been to visit you?”
“Yeah,” he takes a drink of his orange juice. “The guys were here yesterday and some other friends of ours showed up the day before. I’m just ready to get home, get started on PT, and put this behind me.”
I reach over and grab his hand. “We all are, but make sure you take care of you, Trev. What you went through was pretty traumatic.”
He swallows so hard I see his Adam’s apple move. “I’m more worried about what Ryan and Blaze saw, to be honest. I hardly remember any of it. I do remember coming to, I guess in the ER, because I was trying to pull the tube in my chest out and they had to hold me down. Other than that, it’s a haze of pain and drugs.”
I set my fork down, my appetite dying a little. “It was hard to watch, Trevor. Seeing you how you were right after? It was very difficult. Blaze and Ryan saved your life, but neither one of them talk about it. I figure at some point both of them will, but we need to let them do it in their own time.”
“I’m just glad I get to see my niece be born,” he grins, reaching over to grab my hand.
I grab his tightly. “You have no idea how scared I was you wouldn’t make it to her due date. I don’t want her to grow up with you Trev, please take care of yourself.”
In my head I add, We all need you so much. You’re the heart of this family. Please don’t ever let us lose you.
“Thanks for bringing me breakfast.”
I do my best to smile at him, even though tears swim in my eyes. “Can’t break tradition. Nothing could keep me away.”
And that’s the truth. The only thing that’s ever kept me away was an ocean, and even then if I could have, I would have swum it just to see him on Thanksgiving morning.
Renegade
My heartbeat returns to a normal rhythm when I hear Whitney’s SUV pull into the driveway. I have this irrational fear now that she’s going to wreck and end up in the same hospital as Tank. I know from my time in the military I’ll get over it. It’s a form of PTSD, more than likely originating from witnessing Tank’s wreck.
God I miss the asshole. I’m riding with Ace now that Tank’s been hurt, and I realize now how much I enjoyed our time together. The door opens and I go to meet Whitney in the kitchen.
“Hey, Mama,” I greet her, letting her fall into my arms. She still looks exhausted, even though I know she got more rest last night than she’s been getting. “You need to take a nap?”
“Maybe,” she answers, curling into me. “I hate seeing him in that hospital bed, even if he does look better and they’re talking about letting him go home soon. It makes my heart hurt.”
“Mine too,” I cup her cheeks, and push her chin up so I can look into her pretty eyes. “How are you feeling today?”
“I’ve had some contractions,” she bites her bottom lip as she tells me. “But as the doctor said yesterday, this whole situation has been stressful and I’m measuring early anyway. I’m ready for her to come any time. It doesn’t matter if it’s early or not. She’s the perfect size. She could come tomorrow and I’d be happy.”
That’s my girl, always a fighter, always ready for whatever else she may have to take on. “I love you, Princess,” I lean down, brushing my lips against hers. “Now let’s go lie down before you fall down.”
“I love you, too,” the way she says it never gets old, and I doubt it ever will. I waited so long to hear those damn words that I want to put them in my pocket every time she lets them slip past her lips. “Don’t let me sleep too late, we still have to go to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her not to worry about that. Her parents are probably just as tired, if not more so, than the rest of us, but then I realize maybe she needs to be with them. Maybe that’s how she finds her comfort, with her parents, and who am I to hold that back from her.
We enter the bedroom, and she takes off her confining clothes, slipping naked in between the sheets. Lately that’s the way she loves to sleep, foregoing clothing because it’s too tight on her skin. “Lie down with me and hold me.”
It’s a request I can’t say no to. I get naked too, lying down next to her, curling my body around hers, and holding her tightly in my shield of protection. “How was he?”
“Tired and in a little bit of pain, but today he’s got some of his color back and a little bit of the humor I love,” she’s quiet for a minute. “Blaze came in right as I was leaving.”
“Those two have a very long road ahead of them if they want to make their relationship work,” I move the hair out of her face as I nuzzle against her skin.
“We did, and look where we are now,” her sleepy voice whispers.
As she drifts off I hear her voice in my head. Look where we are now.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Whitney
Today has been a shit day. I couldn’t get into my favorite sandals because my feet have swollen so much and even though it’s damn December, it’s still hot in Alabama. The shirt I wanted to wear didn’t cover my stomach, and I have the worst craving I’ve ever had for sweet tea.
I haven’t even had a sweet tea since I found out I was pregnant, but today, my mouth waters as I think about drinking one.
Checking the clock on my SUV, I see I have thirty minutes before I have to meet my next appointment. If I swing into the Sonic drive-thru, I should still make it in plenty of time. As I pull into their parking lot, I go around the building to take my place in line, instead of blocking traffic by pulling sideways into the drive-thru. That’s a pet peeve of mine, and I always make sure not to do it.
I text the bride I’m meeting, letting her know I’ll be there in a few minutes, and then watch as an older gentleman in a Range Rover pulls into the drive, blocking traffic just like I chose not to do. He gives me a wave, motioning for me to let him in line in front of me.
Oh hell no. I put my finger up and shake it ‘no’ at him.
“No sir, you will not be getting in line in front of me, because you didn’t follow proper protocol,” I say to myself. “Plus I want this sweet tea like I want a kiss from my man, and there’s no way you’re going to delay it for me.”
As the cars move up, I go to move up and he honks at me. I honk right back, giving him a wave and a pretty smile. I roll down the window. “Sorry, but I’m pregnant, and I need this sweet tea way more than whatever it is you think you need.”
I roll the window up as he flips me off and guns his SUV, driving around the building. I let out the breath I’m holding, glad I stood up for myself. The last few weeks have been stressful
and I’ll be damned if I let someone walk all over me.
Ordering my drink, I wait in line, seeing the man is at least four cars behind me. If he had followed what everyone else did, he would have been directly behind me and not just now placing his own order. When they bring me out my white Styrofoam cup, I grip it with both hands and drink it down. Nothing in the world has ever tasted as good as that sugary drink.
Fifteen minutes later, I know I’ve done a bad thing when I feel Stella practicing her gymnastics routine in my stomach. Laughing, I reach over and grab my cell phone, taking a video for Ryan.
When I send it to him, I do it with a huge smile on my face.
* * *
“Do you think this will work?” Ryan asks as he holds up a shower curtain to me.
We accidentally broke the one in the bathroom the other night, and while we’re getting a few other things, I reminded him we need a new one. I wrinkle my nose as he holds up a lavender one.
“I liked the gray one a lot better,” I admit, putting my hand on my stomach as I feel Stella kick. Since my sweet tea this afternoon, she’s been crazy.
“I can go grab that one, I know you’ve had a rough day.”
He’s such an amazing man. “Please do, I don’t like the purple and it won’t go with anything else in there.”
“Be right back,” he kisses me on the cheek as I look for a lane to start checking out.
When I find one that doesn’t have very many people in it, I go to the end of the cart and start putting our stuff on the conveyor belt. There’s a throat clearing in front of me, and I look up to face someone I haven’t seen in a very long time. Who would have thought I’d see my ex-husband in the checkout lane at Target?
“Whitney,” Stephen nods towards me.
Manners and politeness that have been instilled in me since I was a little girl wins out as I nod back at him. “Stephen.”
We’re quiet as we look at one another, neither one of us sure what to say.
“I see you’re doing well, finally saved up enough money to get that in vitro,” he indicates my stomach.
For a second I think about minimizing my life to him, but then I realize that’s what I did the entire time we were married. Why should I hide my feelings to make someone who didn’t give a shit about me feel better? “Actually, I’m very happy. Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”
He gives me a bemused grin. “You should be. Spending that much money to make a dream come true? I mean, you’d have to be really crazy to want to make yourself that happy.”
“Got it,” Ryan puts the shower curtain down on the conveyor belt, and I turn to face him. He gazes over my shoulder and I can tell the minute he recognizes Stephen. Turning me around, he steps up behind me, putting his arms around my waist, hands caressing my stomach.
“Stephen thinks I’m crazy for spending all the money I did on the fertility treatments for this baby,” I lean my head back at Ryan, kissing him softly when he dips his head to mine.
A smile spreads across his face. “Right? That bottle of wine you drank and the two beers I drank were so damn expensive.”
I giggle, biting my lip. “They sure were.”
It looks like Stephen’s a little confused, and before I can clarify, I hear Ryan speaking. “In case you missed it dickhead, all we did was make passionate love. Looks like you were the problem all along, and I managed to do the one thing you couldn’t do. My swimmers are fucking perfect, as is our daughter. Her mom though,” he leans down, kissing my neck. “Most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Thanks for fuckin’ up.”
Stick that up your pipe and smoke it.
“Since I don’t see a ring on your finger, I have to assume you’ll be a single mom. Such a statistic.”
“Her fingers are swollen. You know that happens when you get knocked up? Or maybe you don’t know. Either way. We’re very happy and we’re very much together,” Ryan continues, grasping our fingers together. “Any more questions?”
He’s speechless, face burning red. He doesn’t say another word to us. He pays for his purchases and walks out like the hounds of hell are nipping at his heels.
I can’t help it, I laugh hysterically as Ryan joins in. It’s one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. Some of that confidence I never thought I would get back – I got it back in spades tonight.
CHAPTER FORTY
Renegade
“You’re not looking so hot this morning, Princess.”
Yesterday she was like the energizer bunny, cleaning the house like the devil himself was nipping at her heels. Today, it looks like she almost can’t get out of bed.
“I think I overdid it,” she admits as she tries to sit up. “I’m sick to my stomach, and I haven’t been sick to my stomach in months.”
“You want me to call into work? You think I need to take you to get checked out?”
It’s so hard to know with her, hard to gauge how she feels and what she’s thinking. For so long, Whitney’s done things her way, but over the course of the last few days she’s started to hand some things over. Addison’s taking care of the business while Whitney takes a short maternity leave, and her mom is organizing the care for Trevor.
Whitney had wanted to do all of those things because that’s what she’s always done, but judging by the way she looks right, it’s gonna be a miracle if she can get out of bed today. “Babe, you’re kinda scaring me.”
“Yeah, I think you do need to call into work,” she rests her hand on her stomach as she blows out a breath. “I’m having contractions just like I’ve been having since Trevor’s wreck, but today they feel different.”
“Should we start timing them?”
“What do you think?” She asks, her face pained.
“You’re older and wiser, babe.”
She shoots me the meanest, most hostile look I think I’ve ever seen her give anyone.
“Ryan,” she breathes. “Now isn’t the time for that shit.”
“Did you just have a contraction?” I ask because she’s gone white as a toga sheet.
“Yes, they’re coming quicker.”
Making the decision for us, I walk over to the bed and move the covers back. “C’mon, we’re going to the doctor. Lean on me if you have to, but I’m not letting you have our baby at home. I don’t know that I’m strong enough to help you deliver it. I don’t wanna see you in that much pain without at least drugs for me.”
She leans up, kissing me as she grabs my ear with her fingers.
“Fucking ouch, woman.”
“Don’t joke about this, I’m scared to death.”
Looking at her, I can see she’s telling me the truth and I feel bad. “Don’t be, Princess. We’re in this together. God willing and if the creeks don’t rise, hopefully tonight we’ll have Stella in our arms.”
At least that’s the prayer I shoot up because I don’t know if either one of us could take a longer than twelve-hour labor.
Whitney
God I’m not going to make it through this. People who told me childbirth wasn’t that big of a deal fucking lied. They lied like crazy.
“You’re doing great, babe,” Ryan offers me encouragement from where he sits beside my head.
Pain hits me again. “Tell me a lie, please tell me a beautiful lie. I don’t care when it’s from, just help me escape.”
He closes his eyes for a minute, and I wonder if he’s going to do what I asked him to. “We’re on a beach in Bora Bora, it’s nighttime and we’re walking there, holding hands as the waves lap at our feet.”
“Are we by ourselves?”
“Totally by ourselves. Your mom and dad have taken Stella back to our hotel, and we’re having some adult time,” he continues.
There aren’t any nurses in here right now, and I wonder where this is going to go.
“Have you ever fucked on the beach Whitney?”
My breathing calms as the contraction dies down. I’m able to be with him in the scene he’s setting. “No,” I grab
hold of his hand, threading our fingers together. “But I would with you, I’d do anything with you.”
“Then that’s what we’re doing. It’s nice and slow, passionate, the way you like it. I’m holding you in my arms and whispering all those things you like to hear me say.”
I can hear it, can hear him tell me he loves me, that everything will be okay, that I’m the only person he’s ever been able to give his heart to. All the little things Ryan says when I’m in his arms and there’s nothing else between us.
“You okay?” he bends down, kissing me on the forehead.
“Thanks for taking my mind off the pain.”
“I’ll always take you out of any situation that’s too much for you. Always remember that.”
He leans in, letting me wrap my arms around his neck. We’re breaking apart as there is a soft knock at the door before it opens. They wait respectfully at the curtain until Ryan gets up and walks over.
“Oh man, it’s so good to see you.”
I wonder who he’s talking to, and as he pulls the curtain back, enveloping the person in a huge hug. I see it’s Trevor. On crutches and obviously hurting but he made it. The one person I’d wanted to be here that I wasn’t sure would be. Blaze is at his side, helping as he slowly moves into the room.
“Trev, you’ve been out of the hospital for a short time, you didn’t have to come back,” I reach out to touch him as he maneuvers his way over.
Blaze moves a seat closer so he can sit on it and then offers me a smile before she moves to the couch in the room. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I know mom and dad said to let them know when it gets closer to time, but I’ve never let you go through something on your own before. Just like you didn’t let me spend Thanksgiving by myself,” he reaches over and grabs my hand.
“I love you, Trev.”
“I love you too, Sis, but fair warning, if they open up your hoo ha and I even get a glimpse, I’m out. Blaze might have to carry me out at that point, but I am totally out if it comes to that.”
I laugh loudly, loving the fact he’s here. “Completely understood. I’m so glad you’re here. For a while there, I wasn’t sure whether you would get to see this or not.”
Renegade (Moonshine Task Force Book 1) Page 21