Erectile Dysfunction- What Worked for us

by Jacob Clark

  Don’t believe me? Go on Facebook and see how many unsolicited penis pics you get from men you don’t even know.

  But here’s what’s really odd… as much as men like showing off and playing with and bragging about their dicks… they can be really shy when it comes to telling the doctor their little friend isn’t working any more.

  It’s mind boggling, it really is. I mean, some of these guys’ whole lives revolve around their penis and what they do with it.

  Yet when it breaks they want to keep it under wraps.

  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

  Jacob says it’s all related to pride, and the whole macho caveman thing. Men don’t want to admit it when they can’t perform, even when it means foregoing the help they need.

  Sometimes they need a push from us, their significant others. After all, we miss that little sucker too.

  Push him. Coerce him. Threaten him if you have to.

  Mention that the produce guy at Ralph’s winked at you the other day. The one who looks remarkably like George Clooney. And say that since you’re no longer getting dick at home anyway…

  Do whatever you have to do, or say whatever you have to say, to get your man to the doctor. And MAKE him talk about his ED problem when he gets there.

  It’s that important.

  Erectile Dysfunction Tool Box Thus Far: 4 Items

  1. Frequent penis stimulation

  2. Pin stimulation to penis head

  3. Eat well. Diet is everything

  4. Enlist your doctor’s help

  Chapter 6: A Healthy Dose of Erotica at Bedtime Never Hurts.

  And it often helps…

  Remember our agreement. Consider everything we discuss with an open mind. If you close your mind and discard something outright, you may be throwing away a possible solution to your ED problem without even considering it.

  It’s no different than when your kids refused to eat their broccoli at age six, remember?

  You: Eat your broccoli.

  Your kid: No.

  You: Eat your broccoli, damn it.

  Your kid: No.

  You: Why not?

  Your kid: I don’t like it.

  You: How do you know? You’ve never tried it.

  Your kid: I just know I’m not gonna like it. It’s green and lumpy and looks like a tree.

  You: If you never try new things, you’ll never find new things that you love.

  Your kid tries it.

  Your kid: Yum yum.

  If you never try new things, you’ll never find new things that you love…

  From Michelle:

  Jacob and I are authors by trade. We’ve been writing professionally for years. I started writing when I was a little girl and now I do it for a living. We have lots of friends who are authors as well. One of my best friends is Roxanna Holliman, who writes some of the best erotica available on Amazon.com.

  I used to edit Roxanna’s books for her, and Jacob would always ask to read her drafts when I was finished with them.

  He always said he did so because he loved the story lines. He’s into time travel and Albert Einstein and all that stuff so I kind of bought it at first.

  But then I noticed that every time he sat in front of my computer and read through the drafts, he got a boner.

  It turned out that erotica turned him on.

  When he came back from his European tour (my words… it makes him sound like a rock star, doesn’t it?) he had trouble getting an erection, and we decided to team up and do everything we could to combat the problem.

  He’s always said I have a very sexy voice, and we decided to experiment one night. He lay in bed and I read to him aloud a couple of chapters from “Times March,” which was Roxanna’s best seller at the time. While I read I fondled his cock.

  Now, since he developed ED we’ve tried a variety of things. Usually my fondling doesn’t, by itself, produce an erection. And to be truthful, fondling him while I read to him doesn’t always work.

  But it frequently does. The combination of physical pleasure and his closing his eyes and listening to my words excites him sometimes to get hard and stay that way for awhile.

  I asked him why it works for him when my just rubbing his dick usually doesn’t.

  He said the rubbing is nice, but when he closes his eyes and listens to my words at the same time, he can picture himself in the scene with my characters, actually experiencing what they’re experiencing as though he’s one of the characters himself.

  That was the basis for our looking for other erotica. He was able to find several other books which appealed to him as well.

  He prefers books with a solid storyline. “Not just smut,” he says. But something you’d enjoy reading even without the dirty parts.

  This isn’t something we do every night. But it is one of the many tools we have in what we call our “ED tool box.”

  Some nights we start our foreplay in this manner:

  He’ll lay face up upon the bed, his eyes closed and his body relaxed.

  I’ll lie next to him, but farther down on the bed, my face near his dick.

  I’ll massage his dick and his balls as I read, the book propped up on his stomach. Sometimes I’ll take a break and suck on him a bit as well. He likes the occasional variation in my activities.

  Sometimes if I’m reading a particular passage and feel him responding, I’ll purposely go back a couple of pages and read the same passage again.

  As I said, this sometimes works and it sometimes doesn’t.

  If his penis doesn’t respond within, say, twenty minutes or so, we haven’t really lost anything. After all, doing this particular thing is something we both enjoy tremendously even when it doesn’t make his dick hard.

  On the nights when he doesn’t get an erection, we simply put the book aside and move onto another of our “tools.”

  And we keep going until we find one that works.

  That brings up an important point.

  Just as every man is different, every penis is different. They may all look more or less the same, but they respond to different stimuli.

  And what makes our task as the partners who stimulate them even harder (no pun intended) is that what may work on a particular penis one night may not work at all the next night.

  Cocks are wonderful. But as it turns out, they are terribly finicky.

  That’s why it’s important to have a lot of tools at your disposal.

  Try one thing. If it works, great. Enjoy a session of lovemaking and rejoice in it.

  If it doesn’t work, go on to something else. If you have enough tools, something will usually make your man hard. You just have to find the one thing, or combination of things, that’s going to work on that particular night.

  From Jacob:

  Written erotica is a lot like porn. What stimulates one man might not stimulate another man at all. Also, a book which I find to be a turn-on on Tuesday may not appeal at all to me on Friday.

  When I went shopping for erotica I looked for a variety of stuff. I wanted stories that were interesting enough to stand on their own even without the sex. I didn’t want to be bored while Michelle was reading to me, and ruin the moment while falling asleep.

  But at the same time, when she gets to the erotic parts of the book (What Michelle calls the “juicy parts”) I wanted it to be descriptive enough to allow me to close my eyes and visualize her words.

  At the same time, though, the written word is totally different than porn for one very distinctive reason.

  When a man watches porn he frequently gets aroused, but it’s hard to place himself into the picture.

  In other words, when he watches a man make love to a beautiful woman on his television screen he can’t visualize himself making love to her because the man is in the way.

  But with erotica, when I close my eyes and listen to Michelle’s words, the only two people in my mind are Michelle and I. There’s no other man in the way. Her words, and her sexy voice, convince me that we’re
doing the things she says we’re doing. Even if we’ve never done that particular act before. And her stimulating me with her hand heightens the effect.

  Let me give you a quick example.

  The scene she read me the other night had her two literary characters skinny dipping at a small lake. At night. In Paris, within view of the Eifel Tower.

  It was part romance, part raw sex, in roughly equal amounts.

  If Michelle and I flew to Paris and tried such a thing, we’d be arrested.

  They’d void our passports, call us crazy Americans, and throw us out of their country, telling us never to come back.

  But through the written word, we were able to enjoy that adventure risk-free.

  Apparently I’ve had a secret obsession to run around a Parisian park late at night completely naked, swimming nude, and lying naked on a blanket under the stars.

  Because hearing those words, and imagining the scene in my mind, turned me on tremendously.

  And we were able to do it risk free.

  No mosquitoes biting my butt. No strange fish nibbling on my penis as I swam. No gendarmes hauling our naked selves off to a holding cell.

  Just Michelle and I doing in fantasy land what we’d never be able to do in real life.

  It’s quite nice. It really is.

  But like I said, what stimulates me today might not work tomorrow.

  When you shop for your erotica, be sure it’s chock full of a variety of sexual adventures of all types.

  From Michelle:

  Here’s a game you might consider playing which might help.

  The Paris scene he’s talking about went into great detail in the lovemaking scenes. When I was reading the part about the male character fondling and sucking on the female character’s breasts, I put the book aside for a few minutes and offered Jacob the opportunity to suck on mine. Then I went back to reading. When I got to the part where the female character was performing oral sex on the male, I put the book aside and followed suit.

  Doing this does two things… it actually puts him into the story and makes it easier to fantasize about it. And it makes it more exciting for him. Because unless we’ve done that particular scene so many times he’s got it memorized, he doesn’t know what’s coming next.

  He doesn’t know whether the female character is going to climb atop him and insert him inside of her, or if the gendarmes are going to come running out of the bushes and slap them both into cuffs.

  It’s the not knowing what’s next which help make the session more exciting and suspenseful.

  As Jacob said, get a variety of erotica. It helps if you both pick it out together. Get something you can both enjoy, because like fighting ED, making love generally involves two people.

  Okay, not always. But it’s best when two people are involved.

  Erectile Dysfunction Tool Box Thus Far: 5 Items

  1. Frequent penis stimulation

  2. Pin stimulation to penis head

  3. Eat well. Diet is everything

  4. Enlist your doctor’s help

  5. A good selection of written erotica

  Chapter 7: You’ve Got to be Willing to Experiment in the Bedroom

  A Reminder: You promised to keep an open mind…

  We have a lot of friends who are writers and journalists. That’s to be expected, since that’s our chosen profession.

  After all, firemen tend to hang out with other firemen when they’re off duty. Police officers tend to socialize with other police officers. Attorneys tend to associate with other attorneys, etc.

  One of our closest writer friends is a guy we’ve known for years, since long before he got famous.

  We’ll call him “Al”, which isn’t his real name, but we promised to keep his name a secret when we wrote this book. You’ll understand why in a minute.

  Not long ago our friend was on a book tour which brought him within a hundred miles of our home, so he took a couple of days off, made a detour and came to visit.

  It was during that visit he got a phone call from a friend, who tipped him off to something distressing.

  The conversation that followed went something like this:

  Al: My career is over.

  Us: Why? What’s happened?

  Al: Remember Amy, the girl I broke up with a few months ago?

  Us: Yes, we remember Amy. We always thought she was a real bitch.

  Al: When we broke up my laptop disappeared. She said she didn’t take it, but I always suspected she did.

  Us: So? You can always get another laptop.

  Al: You don’t understand. The laptop had all the private videos we shot together.

  Us: You mean private, as in… your own personal porn?

  Al: Exactly. Amy plastered it all over the internet. The porn we made together, photos she took of me naked. Everything. I just got a call from another friend of mine. He’s been watching the internet to see if any of it showed up. He said he went on line last night and Googled my name and added the word porn behind it.He said it’s all over the internet. The porn, the pictures. Everything. My career is over, my life is ruined.

  From Michelle:

  For about two weeks we resisted the urge to go on Google and type in our friend’s name.

  I finally did it one night while Jacob was out because… well, I’ve always considered myself a curious sort.

  Come on, ladies, back me up here. You’ve sometimes wondered about your male friends and what their dicks looked like, haven’t you?

  Surely I’m not the only one.

  Ha! I thought so.

  Anyway, it turned out that Al and Amy were quite adventurous in the bedroom.

  Playful too.

  I found a video of her playing “Whack A Mole” with his erect penis using a ping pong paddle which I found strangely erotic.

  In another video she painted it with yellow fingernail polish and stuck a daisy in the end of it.

  When Jacob came home I called him into my office and he stood over my shoulder while we perused the selection.

  Some of them were just plain silly. In one, Amy told Al she always wanted a “black cock” and spray painted his dick and balls with a can of black spray paint.

  In others, she videotaped him masturbating while watching porn on a laptop, or ejaculating while using a pink vibrator.

  Our favorite was a video of her beating his dick with a stuffed chicken.

  Yes, you read right. A stuffed chicken.

  We called Al and asked him why a stuffed chicken. He said they used to come up with outrageous things to amuse themselves, not knowing that the videos would ever be made available for the world to see.

  I told him I noticed his cock was hard as a rock in the videos. Since he’s about our age, I asked him if he ever had trouble getting hard, or whether in the chicken video he was in his natural state.

  He said he doesn’t get as hard as easily as he once did, but that the videos were fun to shoot and he thoroughly enjoyed making them. He said he was especially aroused by the chicken and the ping pong paddle, and that he and Amy enjoyed very passionate lovemaking sessions after filming each of them.

  That conversation, coincidentally, took place at the exact time Jacob and I were trying anything and everything to fix our ED problem.

  So we said what the hell and went shopping for a stuffed chicken.

  We couldn’t find one, though, and had to settle for a teddy bear.

  Al is a good friend of ours and a wonderful man, so we felt kind of bad at first to use his problems with his ex to help us in our battle over erectile dysfunction.

  But he was very supportive of our decision. He only wanted the best for us, and recently told us he was glad his videos were able to entertain us, and to encourage us to experiment with such silly things ourselves.

  That’s the real contribution Al has given us. The ability to say, “Hey, that looks ridiculous, but it might be fun too.”

  Since watching Al’s videos, Jacob and I have tried some silly
things ourselves. None I want to discuss here, for they’re our private guilty pleasures. And we didn’t videotape them. We learned that much from Al’s experience.

  From Jacob:

  The first of Amy and Al’s videos we tried to duplicate was the ping pong paddle. She held my limp penis in the palm of her hand and tenderly whacked it a couple of times with the paddle.

  I have to say going in that I felt absolutely ridiculous at first.

  However… it turned out to be great fun. After just a few strokes with the paddle I was already hard. We stopped and made love and it was wonderful.

  We’ve since added this particular activity to our ED tool box and use it occasionally. And we’ve learned some lessons from it.

  First of all, ping pong paddles (at least the one we bought) come with two sides. One side has a rough texture and the other side is smooth.

  Use the smooth side. The rough side can get a bit intense.

  Don’t overuse this method. Michelle paddles me only until I get hard and then we stop. We tried going longer one night and I was sore the next day.

  Overall, though, it was silly, and it was fun. And it worked to make me hard.

  It may or may not work for you too.

  As for the stuffed chicken thing, we couldn’t find a stuffed chicken. We bought a small brown teddy bear and tried it, in the same manner Amy used it on Al in their video.

  It did nothing for me. But it was fun and silly and we laughed ourselves to sleep that night.

  It’s odd how certain things turn certain people on and yet doesn’t do anything for the next guy.

  But it also drives home a certain point. You never know until you try it what might give you an erection. That’s why it’s imperative you keep an open mind and be willing to try everything.

  By the way Al, as we said, is a very good friend of ours. We asked his permission to use this particular story in our book project, and he gave us the okay.