A Million Different Ways To Lose You (The Horn Duet Book 2)

by P. Dangelico

  “I said it was a Black and White ball.” The Armani gown was a cascade of silver, the entire dress hand beaded with delicate paillettes that captured the light and returned a soft glow.

  “I didn’t want you confusing me with all the other women in the room.” The guilty expression that crossed his countenance warmed my chest. At least, his moral compass was still working properly.

  My eyes took him in like a junky finally getting a fix. The streaks of pale gold in his hair reflected the light from the massive crystal chandeliers overhead. He’d gotten a haircut. It was neatly combed back, not a hair out of place. Something about it bothered me. It did nothing to hide the dark circles under his eyes though. “You look like you haven’t slept in weeks,” I stated, both my voice and my expression concerned.

  He frowned. I wanted to smooth the lines of worry etched on his face away. “It’s work.”

  “I know I haven’t,” I added, ignoring his dismissive attitude. His gaze slammed back into mine, assessing me closely. I seized my opportunity. “I miss you. I miss you so much.”

  He averted his eyes, his jaw clenched as tight as a vice. I’m surprised it didn’t shatter. I was getting through to him. I could read it on his face. The indifference he’d hidden behind all his life never worked on me. Cracks were appearing on the walls of his fortress, and I was prepared to take it down brick by brick with my bare hands if I had to. “Don’t you miss me?” I pressed softly. When I touched his arm, his eyes lifted once again, the conflict present in his burning gaze. He was about to speak when Caroline stepped closer to him and interrupted.

  “Sebastian, I need to introduce you to one of Daddy’s old friends,” she said, her bright blue eyes shifting nervously between Sebastian and me. The current between us was unmissable––I’m sure she felt it, too. She smoothed her hands down the sides of her gown, a black strapless with a long train, beautiful in its severity.

  “In a minute,” he answered, his eyes never leaving mine. “Caroline, you remember my wife?”

  A flimsy smile nearly broke her tight face in two. “Yes…hello, Vera.” Not even bothering to extend a hand, she added, “It’s nice to see you again. I mean, last time we met you were still working for him, I believe.” Her feigned ignorance was pathetic, so was the veiled insult because she thought I was ashamed of my past.

  “Yes. That was back when I was working as his housekeeper,” I said, smiling brightly, nothing genuine about it. “Could have a moment with my husband?”

  Her eyes nervously shifted to Sebastian. When he neither looked at her nor disagreed, she stepped away.

  “Are you still working at the clinic?” His tone and demeanor told me the spell had been broken. He was back to being an ass.

  “You know I am.” Bear was practically living in my shadow. I was certain he was reporting back every detail of my life. Not that there was anything to report––even if Sebastian was still under the false impression that I had slept with Alek. “Look––I don’t know what you think you saw in those pictures, but you should know that nothing happened.” Eyes narrowed, his gaze shifted to a point beyond me. “He tried to kiss me––” The rest of my sentence was swallowed up by the fierce scowl directed my way again.

  “What did that motherfucker do?”

  I hurried to explain. “He tried to kiss me, but I pushed him off. I told him how much I love my husband, and that he needs to move on with his life.”

  Somewhat mollified, he breathed out sharply and rattled the ice in his glass. “This isn’t the time or place to discuss this,” he murmured.

  “Then what should we discuss? The fact that you’re drinking?” His haunted gaze was on the move again, back to a faraway point. “And what are you doing with her.” My tone was less careful this time, my possessiveness getting the best of me. His expression hardened, meeting mine in full force.

  “That’s my business,” he growled. The fact that he didn’t answer my question didn’t worry me––I knew he had less that zero interest in that woman––it was his anger that did. He was still so furious. My shoulders fell on a deep sigh. It was impossible to reason with him when he was like this.

  “I love you,” I said in a last ditch attempt. My words missed their mark and fell to the ground.

  “You sure have a funny way of showing it,” he bit out.

  “Sebastian––” I implored in the most pathetically dejected voice.

  “People are waiting on me. I’ll see you later.” With that, he walked away, leaving me standing in a crowd of strangers to nurse my aching heart.

  I wouldn’t give Caroline the satisfaction of leaving with my tail tucked between my legs, therefore, I hung around a little longer, watching from the periphery of the room.

  I spotted Shay on the other side of the room––it was impossible to miss her. She was the embodiment of a 1950’s Hollywood starlette, wearing a white, strapless gown that hugged every exaggerated curve on her body and ended with a fishtail. Add to that the red lips, nails, and Veronica Lake waves in her hair, and she made one stunning bombshell. As soon as she saw me skirting the edge of the room, she came over.

  Placing her hands on her hips, she said, “You look like you need to get wasted.” A bark of laughter erupted out of me. “That bad, huh?”

  “It was pretty bad,” I agreed.

  A frown marring her gorgeous features, she sidled up next to me, the two of us enjoying the theatrics taking place in the massive ballroom. “I’d regularly start you off with mixed drinks, but this looks like a straight up tequila night to me.”

  “Caroline Pruitt is hanging all over him. I’m afraid she may try to crawl onto his back and beg for a piggy back ride soon.”

  “I can’t stand that bitch. Did I tell you that she sent me for coffee the first time we met?”

  “No.” I bit my bottom lip, schooling my amusement. Knowing how proud Shay was, I could imagine her reaction.

  “I’m the executive vice president of the bank and she asked me for coffee––not the twenty year old male intern standing next to me. That woman could single-handedly set back the women’s movement fifty years.”

  “Doesn’t seem to bother my husband.” In the middle of the crowded room, Sebastian was doing a great impression of a marble statue while Caroline perched on him like a filthy pigeon. I had just cause to be snide.

  “It bother’s him, but that bitch happens to be worth two billis so eat shit from her, we both will.”

  My eyes were as wide as saucers. “Two billion?”

  “Yup.”

  Across the room, I spotted Gideon staring at us. He gave me a quick nod in greeting and I smiled back. “There’s a very handsome and very mysterious man watching you from across the room,” I murmured suggestively.

  Shay’s gaze scanned the crowd until it landed on Gideon. A small smile lifted the corners of her painted red lips. “You mean my date?”

  It was my turn to smile. “I thought you guys hated each other?”

  “I was so sick of coming to these things by myself…besides, he’s the only man that doesn’t run away when I shout at him, like the only one…seriously.” I was laughing so hard tears spilled down my cheeks. “Now are you going to come get a drink with me, or are you going to continue to lurk in dark corners like some pale, goth heroine in a Tim Burton movie?”

  “I’ll have you know I’m skulking, not lurking,” I replied, fighting the smile stretched across my face.

  “Suit yourself. Send up a flare if you change your mind.” With that, she smacked a kiss on my cheek and wiped the lipstick off with her thumb before she walked away.

  At some point during the concert, which followed shortly afterwards, I decided to make a trip to the ladies room. The long, carpeted corridor was empty, everybody in their seats––who could blame them when Sting was performing.

  “Vera.” The raspy voice softly calling me reached inside and warmed the chill residing near my heart. Relief. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief sweep over me. In grati
tude, I reached up to rub the diamond cross sitting on my sternum. I waited for him to catch up to me before I turned. He looked conflicted, struggling with words and feelings. “Where are you going?”

  “Back to the flat. I was just on my way to the ladies room before I…” My voice faded as we stared into each other’s eyes. Accusations, heartache, broken promises––it was all there. Then again, so was mercy. “I’ve seen enough,” I quietly finished, holding his gaze, challenging him to take a single step forward and I would come the rest of the way.

  It happened all at once. He grabbed my face with both hands. The kiss was a wild thing, full of passion and desire, anger and love. So much love. I grabbed a hold of his wrists and kissed him back as fervently as he kissed me. Our hands were everywhere, sliding around each other, pulling the other one closer…this undeniable thing between us, drawing us together in pleasure and in pain.

  “Vera?”

  Oh no, no, no, no, my mind screamed. Sebastian pulled away, his eyes narrowing at the man standing a few paces behind me. I looked over my shoulder and found Yannick looking a bit guilty. To anyone else, he would’ve appeared aloof and disinterested.

  Sebastian’s eyes jumped between Yannick and me. The veil of indifference fell over his face once again. My heart sank. I knew what was coming. Swallowing, I pleaded, “Sebastian––” But I never got the chance to finish because he ripped his wrists out of my hold and stalked away from me.

  Swiveling on my heels, I glared at Yannick. “Has anyone ever told you that you have the worst timing? What was that about?”

  “I just wanted to make certain you were alright,” he argued.

  “I’d like to know what it is about me that makes your gender think I can’t take care of myself!”

  Tugging on his cuffs, looking every inch as gorgeous and sophisticated as ever, he raised an eyebrow and said, “You’re in a mood. We’ll talk tomorrow,” and walked away.

  My best laid plans had been blown sky high. An evening that had started with promise had ended in complete disappointment, the gap between Sebastian and me wider than ever. It was time to retreat and regroup.

  In the ladies room, I had just finished my business in one of the stalls, deep in thought about how best to deal with my husband, when I walked out and came face to face with my worst nightmare. Paisley was in the lounge area, bent over at the waist and snorting razor sharp lines of cocaine off the marble countertop. I froze, nailed to the spot on the floor while every instinct in my body told me to run. My heart beat so fiercely I was pretty certain she could hear it trying to break out of my chest.

  She glanced up briefly and stopped short when it dawned on her who I was. Straightening slowly to a full height of practically ten feet with her platform shoes on, she placed her hands on her whippet thin hips and glared a hole through me. I noticed she was much thinner than usual. Impossible to fathom, though true. Her designer dress hung off the sharp angles of her bones, her eyes flat, her skin dull. She’d been living hard and fast since I last saw her outside the doctor’s office and it showed.

  “You fucking bitch.” Her voice was a low, angry sound, similar to the primal warning a wolf makes right before it sinks its teeth into your throat. “You fucking, whoring cunt!” The aggressive step she took towards me snapped me out of my trance. There wasn’t much I could do though. She stood inconveniently between me and the exit. “You cost me everything! My money! My husband––” I didn’t fail to notice she placed her money above her husband in order of importance, her volume descending on the latter. “Sebastian!” she added belatedly, ending on a high note.

  “You did that to yourself,” I spat out, finally locating my voice under all the bewilderment. She lunged for me quicker than I could anticipate and managed to hook her claw-like fingers at the top of my dress, near my collarbone. And with her face screwed up in a demented scowl, she yanked with all her strength.

  The dress came apart. The one shoulder strap holding it up snapped, beads went flying in every direction. I grabbed onto the front, to keep it from sliding off, and while defenseless, she slapped me across the face, the sound echoing off the wall to wall marble.

  “What is going on here?!” shouted a feminine voice with a distinct drawl. The assault in progress stopped instantly. My formidable knight in tarnished armor wore Chanel and a glare that could freeze fire.

  Diana Redman stood inside the entrance of the bathroom in a column of black Chantilly lace that looked painted on every square inch of her sleek body. It started at the top of her neck and descended all the way to her toes. Never it my wildest dreams could I ever have imagined that I would be happy to see her––but I was. I just hoped my joy wasn’t misplaced. Her almond shaped eyes shifted from me to Paisley, and back to my dress. “What have you done, Paisley?” she calmly said, punctuating it with the arch of a blonde brow.

  When Paisley glanced over her shoulder, I grabbed the opportunity to scoot out of her reach. “I’m giving this bitch her due.”

  Diana crossed her slender arms in front, a posture I’d seen her son assume when he was ready to do battle. “Step away from my daughter-in-law,” she ordered.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. And clean yourself up while you’re at it––start with the powder under your nose.”

  Wiping away the traces of coke with the back of her hand, Paisley shouted, “You hate her as much as I do!”

  “No. I don’t. And you forget a very important detail, sugar. She’s a Horn. Now run along. I don’t want you bothering them again. You know I’m still real friendly with your Daddy. If you want to get in his good graces again you’ll do as I say, or one well placed word from me and you’re done––for good this time.” The clear threat was delivered with a lethal smirk.

  The battle was all over Paisley’s gaunt face. She eventually stomped to the door in defeat, one predator recognizing the other as a larger, more dominant one.

  “Bye, now,” Diana drawled as Paisley walked out. When the door closed, Diana rushed over to me. Reaching up, she cupped my face gingerly. I couldn’t help it––I jerked back. Only months ago this woman hated me enough to see me wind up in the hospital, and now she was my protector?

  Scanning the state of my dress, her brow remained perfectly line free while her tight mouth telegraphed her anger. With her fingers under my chin, she tipped my face left and right, inspecting the cheek that was still burning. “Come sit down,” she ordered gently.

  Holding my dress up, I shuffled to the boudoir stool in front of the expansive mirror and sat. I almost didn’t recognize the gasp coming from my own lips. A red welt, the outline of four distinct fingers, streaked across my porcelain skin. My sharply bobbed hair was a disheveled mess, red scratch marks were on my chest and neck

  “I can’t leave like this,” I said more to myself.

  “No, you can’t.” I glanced up at Diana, who was running a hand towel under the sink. She wrung it out before placing the cold compress on the cherry red mark.

  “I’m sorry.” Her eyes met mine briefly before they fell to the ground. “You have no idea how sorry I am…can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”

  What was I to say to that? I could forgive, but I would never forget. “You had nothing to do with this.”

  “I mean for everything else––although I’m sure Sebastian will find a way to blame me for this, too.” She was right, knowing Sebastian he would. However, she didn’t deserve my sympathy, or lies to allay any guilt she may have felt or pretended to feel. When I remained silent, she continued, “Will you accept my apology, Vera?”

  My determined gaze captured her subdued one. “Yes.” Hope made her eyes light up. “However, that does not mean I’ll forget.” The light dimmed once again. She reminded me of a little girl, reacting in real time to every single feeling she had. “You have a long and arduous road ahead of you. If you really want to make amends, start with your son.”

  “I know,” she agreed, her tone sullen. “I’ll do
whatever it takes. I’m not promising to change overnight. I know not to have those kinds of expectation––at least, that’s what my therapist tells me… but I want to be part of this family.” There was true longing in her voice, an earnest vulnerability that I knew was unusual for her. “I’ll do anything to be part of this family again.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I had my own problems to worry about––and at present, a big one to deal with. The unfocused look in her eyes transformed to determination. “This is what we’re going to do…”

  Fifteen minutes later, she finished zipping me into her Chanel dress while she wore mine, her bodyguard’s tuxedo jacket draped over it. Her dress was three inches too long for me, but otherwise it fit. After applying powder to my red welt, I left the bathroom in search of Sebastian.

  It was well past two am. The concert had ended and people were steadily departing, the stairs crowded with everyone trying to beat the traffic. For twenty minutes, I searched in vain. Finally in frustration I decided to walk back to the car in the hope that Bear could tell me where to find him.

  Still leaning against the car, Bear straightened when he saw me approaching. His eyes curiously studied my dress, though he chose not to say anything.

  “Have you spoken to Sebastian?”

  “Yes,” he said, opening the car door for me.

  “Well, where is he? Did he leave?”

  “Yes.”

  Something in his tone made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “By himself?” I asked while my stomach churned with bile.

  “No.”

  A shockwave moved through me, arresting my breath. He couldn’t be right. This couldn’t be happening. “With whom?”

  The long pause before his answer told me everything I needed to know. “Caroline Pruitt.”

  My heart collapsed, as if the scaffolding that held it together gave way all at once. For the first time, doubt took up more space in my heart than hope.