“Bye. And you really don’t need to come by tomorrow. Especially with Aiden installing the detectors. It’ll be pretty hectic around here.”
I look her in the eye, conveying what an idiot I think she is for trying to plant bugs again. “You’re right. I’ll call you tomorrow to see if there’s any news. Goodnight.”
Aiden waits until she’s gone and unleashes the bots again. We watch them take care of everything before he leaves. I flop down on my bed, but don’t sleep. I’m too worried about Faith, and how she’ll feel about the letter. I can only hope that she’ll read it and not tear it up when she knows it’s from me.
* * *
Faith
I’m walking into the courtroom for my arraignment. I laugh a little as I think of Stella’s reaction to seeing me in this ugly orange jumpsuit. At least they let me take a shower. I sit down next to my lawyer. None of my friends are here. I know they can’t be, but it’s still hard. Gavin’s here, though, on the prosecutor’s side. He’s in a suit and is glaring at me. I want to punch him, but I need to be granted bail, so I force a blank look onto my face.
The prosecutor makes a good argument for no bail, but my lawyer’s better. The judge ends up setting my bail at five million dollars with the added punishment of house arrest. I can’t leave my apartment except to go back to court. Everyone looks pretty pleased with themselves, until Cyndi comes forward to post bail. I almost burst into tears. I should’ve known she’d come, even if I didn’t see her when things began.
I change into the clothes my lawyer brought me and get fitted for my ankle monitor before Cyndi drives me home. The security guys in the lobby all hug me before I get into the elevator. I walk into my apartment and get attacked by my girls. They tell me all that they’re doing to try and clear me.
“And then we’ll go after Selene,” Tegan says.
“Selene?”
“Let’s sit down, and I’ll explain it all to you,” Reina tells me.
After I hear everything, I can’t help but feel sick. Gavin knew who I was and purposely seduced me? The girls tell me he said he’d sacrifice himself for me, and they could tell he meant it. I’m still hurt and angry. I finally tell them all I’m tired and just want to sleep. As they file out, Reina hands me an envelope.
“What’s this?”
“Gavin gave it to Aiden yesterday.”
“I don’t want it,” I tell her and try to hand it back.
“Yes, you do. Read it. You don’t have to forgive him, but you’ll regret not reading whatever it is he thinks he needs to tell you.” I know she’s right so I just nod and hug her.
I go upstairs to my bed, but instead of going to sleep, I sit and clutch the letter for over an hour. I finally decide that I have to suck it up and read it. I tear it open and pull out the page.
Faith,
Thank you for reading this. I was afraid you’d just tear it up, which I totally deserve. But I need to tell you some things. I’m sure you’ve been told about everything with Selene and Elizabeth, so I’m not going to waste this letter with all of that.
I love you, Faith. I swear to you that I never lied to you about that. Yes, I knew who you were at the ball, and I had a plan to get you into bed. But when I did, everything changed. I know it sounds hokey and like something out of a romance movie, but it’s true. I had to leave the next morning because I couldn’t hate you anymore.
Everything we did together was real. The cooking, the joking around, and the making love. It wasn’t fake. I fell for you, even as I thought I still had to take you down. I wanted to believe you weren’t bad, and now I know you’re not. I never thought they’d frame you. I swear it.
I’d do anything to take your place. I’m in my own prison, but I put myself here, so I deserve it. I’m going to help get you out and have your name cleared. I don’t know what I can bring to the table, but I’ll do anything. Reina says I need to act like I still think you’re evil. I’ll do what she says, but know that I don’t mean any of it.
I’ll be at your arraignment when it happens. I’ll have to pretend I’m there because I want you prosecuted. But I’ll really be there to support you. I know the girls can’t go, and I want you to have someone there that you love. If you see me glare, think of it as a hug. If things look bad, I’ll smile. That means I’m kissing you.
When this is over, I’m going to beg you for another chance. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m going to pursue you. I’ll give you romance, lots of orgasms, and anything else you want. You can have it all. You already have all of me.
I don’t know if you can write back, but if you can, will you please? Even just to tell me to fuck off. I need to know you’ve read my words. Even if they’re not enough.
I love you,
Gavin
I have no words. I want to give him a chance, but I don’t know if I can trust him again. I have to write back, though, and thank him for the courthouse. Now that I know he was sending me hugs and kisses, I can almost physically feel them as I recall his reactions today. I’ll do it in the morning because I’m too much of a mess right now. I wipe away my tears and go to sleep, dreaming of dark hair and laughing eyes.
Chapter 8
Faith
It’s been two days since I got released from jail. I’m going a little crazy being stuck in my apartment, but I can’t really complain since the alternative is worse. At least from here I can help clear my name. Reina’s been keeping me updated, and Ainsley assigned me some info to look through.
We haven’t found anything so far on who is working with Selene from Susan’s staff, but Ainsley thinks she knows who the mole is in the Foundation. She sounded very strained when I talked to her earlier, which leads me to believe that it’s one of her people. She handpicked them all, and has known most of them since college. Being betrayed by a stranger is one thing. When it’s someone you care about, the pain is much worse. I personally know how much that hurts, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Well, except for Selene. That bitch deserves every bit of pain we’re going to throw at her.
Speaking of people who’ve hurt me, I still need to write back to Gavin. I just don’t know what to say. On one hand, I’m so angry that I want to kick his ass. But then I also want to hug and kiss him. And maybe take him back. Who am I kidding? I’m going to make him grovel, but once I get that romance and those orgasms, I’m totally taking him back. Everyone says I’m sensible, which in this case means I’m not going to turn my back on love.
There’s a knock at my front door, and I yell for whoever it is to come in. The girls usually just walk in, so it’s strange that someone’s knocking. I guess they want to give me some privacy in my little prison.
“Hey, Faith.”
“Hi Isa. What’s up?” She looks really nervous. Isabelle’s the most quiet of all of us. She’s got a genius IQ, but unlike Ainsley, she didn’t grow up with a bunch of rowdy brothers. We have to pull her out of her books and make her socialize. Even with us. She’s fierce on her missions, but meek in her everyday life. The rest of us tend to be extra protective of her.
“I-I have a present for you. I thought you’d want it. But maybe not.”
“I’m sure I’ll love whatever you have for me.”
“If you don’t, I’m really sorry. I just thought—“
“Breathe, honey. It’s really okay. Show me what you’ve got.”
Instead of speaking, she opens the door. Gavin’s standing on the other side. Before I can think about it, I’m running to him and jumping into his arms. He stumbles a little at the impact, but recovers quickly and wraps his arms around me. We hold each other tight for a few minutes.
“I should probably go now.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say as I drop back to the floor and walk back inside to hug her. “Thank you for bringing him here. How did you do it?”
“Aiden put him in his trunk and drove over. I just let him in.”
“Thanks. How long do we have?”
“Maybe two hours. Some
one will be back for him. We’ll knock.”
“You’ll knock. Stella and Tegan would just walk in. I’ll lock the door.”
“Good idea.”
I hug her again and she leaves. Gavin seems hesitant, and he’s still standing on the other side of the door.
“Are you going to stand out there for your two hours, or are you going to come in here and give me my promised orgasms? I’m angry and I want to punch you, too, but that can wait.”
His mouth is on me immediately, and he lifts me up as he walks to the couch. My pajama pants and tank top are gone within seconds and he has a nipple in his mouth before I even remember that I wasn’t wearing a bra. As I arch into him, he slides his fingers into my panties and rubs just where I need him to. It’s not enough.
I start pulling at his sweater until he lets go of me to pull it over his head, along with his t-shirt. “Jeans.”
“You like my jeans, darling?”
“Gavin,” I growl.
“Oh, you want them off. I can do that.”
He leans back with a smirk on his face. He tortures me with how slowly he unbuttons his jeans and pulls the zipper down. If it’s torture he wants, I can give it as good as he is. I cup my breasts and squeeze them before moving one hand down my stomach. As I start to slide it into my panties, Gavin’s the one growling.
“Faith.”
“Yes?”
“That’s mine to play with.”
“You’ve neglected it.”
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he says turning serious and sitting next to me. “It killed me to be around you and not be touching you. I wanted to hold your hand so badly.”
“My hand?”
“It’s not all about sex, my beautiful nympho. I hope you know that. I want to ravage you every chance I get, but I also want to hold your hand. And trick you into taking out the trash while we cook some great food.”
“I want that, too.”
“I’m thinking we need to talk before doing anything else.”
“You’re kidding right? You got me all worked up, and you’re not even going to finish what you started?”
“Don’t do this, Faith. I told you it’s not all about sex for me. Don’t make it about just that.”
“Why are men so idiotic sometimes?”
“I can’t speak for my entire gender, but I don’t know how me trying to show you I care could upset you so much.”
“You had your fucking fingers on me. I know you felt how wet I am. Then you tried to torture me with your striptease and wouldn’t let me touch myself. I need to come. Now.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. I was just trying to be a gentleman and do the right thing. I’ll touch you again. Then we can talk.”
“We can talk after I get your cock. Your fingers aren’t enough at the moment.”
“How about my tongue?”
“Dammit. If you don’t want to fuck me, just say it.”
I see the change in him when he finally understands that I’m serious. “Take down your hair, Faith.”
I do as he says while he puts the condom on. I start to shake it out when he grabs me and flips me around so I can kneel on the couch. One hand twists my hair and pulls as he thrusts into me. I cry out as he takes me hard, fucking me like I asked for. Another tug on my hair has me turning my head to look at him.
“I’m fucking you like you asked, Faith. But just this one time. Once you get what you need, we’re talking. And then I’m making love to you. Nice and slow.”
“Okay.”
“Now hold on.”
I grip the back of the couch tighter as he releases my hair to hold my hips as he pumps into me. I know I’ll have bruises, but I don’t care. This is just what I needed and I come as hard as I hoped I would. He lets go as I scream. I feel him shudder as he whispers my name. He pulls me backwards and cuddles me to him as he holds me tight. I could get used to this. Again. That’s what scares me the most.
* * *
Gavin
“I’ve got to take care of things, but I’ll be right back,” I tell Faith as I kiss the back of her neck. I run into the guest bathroom and get rid of the condom and wash up. I walk back out to see her cuddled up under the throw blanket she keeps on her favorite chair. “Is there room under there for me?”
She smiles and nods before lifting up one end. She turns to me as I get comfortable on my side. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Thank you.”
“That was my pleasure, and you don’t have to thank me for giving you what you want. I love making you happy. I haven’t done it enough.”
“I just feel…dumb.”
She’s blushing and looks away. I pull her face back around to me. “Dumb is a word that no one would ever associate with you. What’s wrong?”
“I was so needy.”
“Yeah, so? I took you close to the edge and left you there. It’s okay to need me. I need you.”
“It’s just that I-I haven’t been with anyone since we stopped.”
“Neither have I. You know that. At least you should know that. Didn’t they tell you about Elizabeth and Selene?”
“They did. I just wasn’t sure. I mean, maybe you just told them it was pretend when you got back with her.”
“I could barely stand to be in the same room with her, even before I knew the truth. It’s been all you since that first night, Faith. You’re on my mind all day, every day.”
“I think about you, too.”
“Do you still want to punch me?”
“Kind of.”
I move away from her a little, lift my chin, and point to it. “Go ahead.”
“You’re already bruised there from Nate.”
“True. Stomach?”
“A couple of days ago, I wanted to punch you a little lower.”
I swallow hard before standing up. I close my eyes and bite my lip. “Okay,” I tell her in a squeaky voice.
I feel her hair brush my thighs as she leans forward. Instead of feeling a punch, I experience her lips brushing lightly over me. “I said I wanted that a couple days ago. Now I just want to know what you think of me.”
“What I think of you?”
“Yes,” she says as she looks up at me with sad eyes.
“I think you’re amazing. Utterly and totally amazing.”
“Even though you saw…I…Reina said you saw pictures of me killing someone.”
“Jane said she was a very bad woman.”
“She was.”
“Then you did what you had to do.”
“That’s never been your stance, Gavin. You forget that I’ve looked into everything about you.”
I sit back down on the couch with her. She’s got the throw wrapped around her like a shield as I reach over and rub her cheek. “You’re right. I’ve never believed that anyone has the right to end another person’s life. We have a justice system for a reason. I know it’s flawed, but if we don’t use it, things would be so much worse.”
“So you’re not okay with what I do.”
Fuck. I’d never even taken a moment to think about it now that I know what the Foundation is really about. When I thought it was innocent people, I could easily condemn what Faith and her friends do. Because I’ve always believed a certain way, it should still be easy to condemn them. I remember what Nate told me about making her choose. I just didn’t think it would be because of this. Because I didn’t think at all. I let my love for her override my moral compass. That’s not fair to either of us.
“No. I’m not,” I tell her truthfully.
“I won’t quit. People need my help. I can be replaced, but I don’t want that. I love what I do. Not the killing, but it’s not always killing. That’s a last resort. That woman assured me she would never stop, that the money was too wonderful. Even as she was begging for her life, she was telling me about the powerful men who were clients and would get her out of jail. I couldn’t let another child suffer at her hands.”
&n
bsp; “We’ll figure this out. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you.”
“I knew we shouldn’t talk.”
Faith gets up and walks into the kitchen. I follow her and pull her to me as I lean against the sink.
“Would you rather we just ignored things until they got so bad that we hated each other?”
“You hate me now.”
“Never. I’ll never hate you. I just hate what you have to do. I understand why you do it. But I won’t lie and tell you it makes me happy. You, however, make me very happy.”
“So we just ignore my job.”
“Would you talk about your missions with every guy you date?”
“Of course not. We can only tell someone if we’re marrying them or at that stage.”
“Then just don’t talk about any of it with me. I know you save people, that’s all I need to know.”
“You won’t be curious?”
“I probably will be. But I want a life with you. I can’t change who I am, or what I believe, but I can accept that, for you, the good outweighs the bad. I respect you, Faith. And that means I have to respect what you do.”
“I want a life with you, too. As long as you don’t pull any more crap with me. That was seriously not cool. You made me feel cheap and used when you went back to Elizabeth. I know you weren’t really with her, but I thought you were. Then I had to find out that you approached me at the ball because you knew who I was, and not because you really wanted me.”
“Oh, I really wanted you, Faith. I wanted to be cold about the whole thing, but seeing you in that sexy dress and then eating your food—it did me in. Yes, I still was going along with the plan, but what we did was all me wanting you.”
“So you could make a sex tape for Selene.”
I can’t deny it. We both know I was going to do that. “I liked you a lot by then, but I always loved my mom. Which meant that she came first.”
“I get that—protecting your mom. But you didn’t even give me a chance.”
“Did you even read my letter?”
“Yes.”
“Then why do you still think I only wanted you because it was part of the plan?”
“Because those are just words.”
Devouring the SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 2) Page 9