“O-kay.”
“You’re going after Faith I take it.”
“Yes I am.”
“Good. I wanted to go to her, but I don’t know what to say.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure exactly what to say either, but I figure ‘I love you’ is a good start.”
“We need her back here. All of us.”
“But especially Reina?”
He looks like he wants to argue but then sighs, and nods. “It’s wrecking her that she couldn’t convince her to stay. It’s not her fault. I mean, I’m pretty sure she knew about how Faith was recruited, but it wasn’t up to her to spill that, you know?”
“Yeah. It had to come from Cyndi.”
“But Rei, she cares so much for everyone. So if they’re hurt, she hurts too. And this…I just don’t know man. I need all these women to be okay. They’re like my sisters.”
“Reina is not a sister to you.”
He cracks a smile at that. “Definitely not. She’s…no, not a sister. But the other girls are.”
“I’m going to beg if I have to, for her to take me back. And then I’ll work on the Foundation. I promise I’ll do the best I can to at least get her to open a conversation about coming back. Then it’s up to all of you to convince her what a badass she is. I saw her fight, but in your realm my opinion won’t mean much to her.”
“Thanks. We’ll beg too, if we have to. I’ll get on my knees. Anything to get her back.”
“For Reina.”
“For everyone.” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Okay, it’s mostly for Reina, but I can’t stand to see the other girls crying all day, either. It messes with a man to have them all falling apart. It’s like a domino effect. One goes down and they all go down. It’s rough.”
“How are Aiden and Nate holding up?”
“They refuse to come over here. They can’t take it either. We were all in the war and handled that shit just fine. But this, this is just beyond us.”
“I get it. I was freaked out when they started crying in Reina’s office. And that was only four of them. All nine would be insane.”
“It is man. It really is.”
We talk for a few more minutes, and then I leave. I have less than a day to come up with a plan to win back my woman and convince her to go back to her job. If only it was as easy as it sounds. But nothing worth having is ever easy.
Chapter 14
Faith
I’m sitting in Baguette Café, eating my omelet croissant and drinking some freshly squeezed juice. These last few weeks have been hard. Really hard. My injuries have mostly healed—well, the physical ones anyway. I don’t know that I’ll ever get over all the emotional pain I’m feeling. Killing my two biggest enemies caused me to lose the man that I love, and I had to give up my jobs and friends as well. I couldn’t be the charity case anymore, especially now that the secret of how and why I was recruited is out.
Gavin. Just thinking his name almost sends me into tears. The loss of him makes my heart hurt. It literally hurts, and I can feel it break every time I think about the look on his face that day. I chose revenge and vengeance over him. I didn’t even think about him, and how he would react when I snapped Selene’s neck and shot Morty. They were just things I needed to do. I couldn’t let them live. But he’d never understand that. His moral code about killing is too high. Too unforgiving. And now I have to find a way to cope with the loss of him.
Thoughts of the Society, and everyone connected with it, send me into an even darker place. For four years, they were my life. Until Gavin, almost every waking moment I had was spent thinking of those women and how we could help people. How I could help people. I took on every mission I could. I realize now that I did it because I thought I could find peace by helping others when I couldn’t help myself—or my father—when I needed to. I know I was seven, and no match for a grown man, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel like I should’ve been able to do something to save my dad. I never wanted to feel helpless again, and I haven’t since Selene was fired.
Selene’s name doesn’t bring the anger it used to. Instead, I feel shame. Because even though Cyndi told me that only she and the other mentors knew why I was recruited at the beginning, Selene knew. Deep in that cold, black heart of hers, she knew that I didn’t belong. While the other agents and women who taught me always heaped me with praise, she always reminded me of how unworthy I was of the position being offered to me. If I hadn’t turned her in, I would’ve failed her class and not been hired. That wasn’t my reasoning then—I did it to protect us from an evil woman—but I see now that I got the job I had by default. They took pity on me once again, and Reina gave me a passing grade.
I haven’t cooked since walking out of the C & C building. I can’t. The thing that once brought me the most joy now reminds me of my failures. Culinary school is where Cyndi found the damaged 22 year old girl who had honored her grandparent’s wishes and gotten a business degree before pursuing what she really wanted. From the time I was a little girl, I was always in the kitchen with my dad. When he died, and I went to live with my grandparents, it was my grandmother who I practically lived with in the kitchen. Their restaurant was one of the most popular in Los Angeles, and I loved the fast pace and clanging pots and pans.
I knew I would be a chef one day, but I did what they asked and got the other degree first, graduating Summa Cum Laude even though the classes bored me to tears. In less than a month after receiving my diploma, I was taking my first formal cooking class. I knew immediately that it was the right path for me. I loved it all. Every class, even the ones where the instructors picked on everything. I was so happy. But now that’s all changed, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get that happiness back.
“Is this seat taken?”
I look up in shock at Gavin standing over me, smiling as he has his hand on the white chair across from me. It’s almost like my thoughts made him materialize in front of me. I ache to jump up and throw my arms around him, but I can’t.
“What are you doing here?”
“I heard this place was pretty good, so I came in for breakfast. Imagine my surprise when I saw the woman I love sitting here all alone and lost in thought.”
“Ainsley’s been tracking me.”
He shrugs. “Lots and lots of people also love you. Not like I do, but just as intensely, I think.”
“We both know you’ll never get past what you saw.”
“If you’d let me sit down, I could explain to you how there’s nothing to get past.”
“Here in public, with all these people around, you want to discuss this?”
“I’d rather discuss it in private, but I’ll take what I can get. We can talk in code or something. Like sexy secret agents.”
“Stop it, Gav.”
“I haven’t even started, Faith. And I’m not giving up. So I’ll ask you again—is this seat taken?”
“Yes.” No. I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t.
I put my feet on the chair as one side of his lips quirk up, and he steps to the table next to me where a couple of women are sitting. It looks like they’re working or writing on their laptops.
“Good morning, ladies. I was wondering if I could convince you to move to that other table over there so I could sit here.”
“We’re settled in here already.”
“I’ll give you $1,000 each to move.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
He takes out his wallet and hands them each ten bills as they gather their things and move to the other table. He sits down in the seat next to me and stretches out his legs. I glance over and want to slap that smug look off his lips. Or kiss them. This is so not good.
* * *
Gavin
Fuck. This is unfortunately going just as I expected it would. Good thing I brought along cash. I was willing to pay up to $10,000 if I had to. I’ve got the seat, and I know I’m affecting her just like she’s affecting me, but she’s not going to give
in to her feelings. She still thinks I’m upset. And she’s cut her hair.
It goes to her elbows now, not her ass. There’s still enough to have me thinking about wrapping my hand in it and pulling, which of course means my pants are a whole lot tighter than when I walked in. I need to say something to her, so I start with that.
“You cut your hair.”
“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice.”
“I noticed it the minute I walked in. That, and how sad you looked while you were thinking. Like your thoughts were causing you physical pain. I wanted to pull you into my arms and kiss all your pain away. But I was afraid you’d kick my ass right here in the middle of the coffee shop. I was hoping to have a little dignity left when I walk out of here.”
“I might’ve slapped you, but no ass kicking. And I would never take your dignity. Well, not all of it, at least.”
“I’d give it all to you if I knew you’d walk out of here with me.”
“Why. After what you saw me do, why are you here?”
“Because I love you so much that I can feel my heart breaking at the thought of not being with you. I came to terms with what you did before you did it. When…things…were going down, I realized the need for what you were going to have to do. If you hadn’t done that, those animals wouldn’t have stopped hurting other people. Ever. There was no choice, and I knew that then. Just as I know it now.”
“But the look on your face.”
“C’mon, you’ve got to cut a guy some slack. I’d just seen my hot girlfriend go all badass and kick some evil butt, then get beaten practically to death because she was protecting me and another person she loves. And I’d never seen anyone get…hugged…before.”
She bursts out laughing. “Did you just say hugged?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what other code word to call it.”
The smile is gone from her face as she turns to fully look at me, totally serious once again. “Did you mean what you said?”
“Yes. One thousand percent yes.”
“They told me you sat with me while I was sedated. You…you held my hand and slept that way, sitting up.”
Her voice is breaking and tears are shining in her eyes. “Yes. I would’ve stayed, but Stella said you told her to make me leave. Walking out of there was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Kicking you out, and then walking out of there myself later, were the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“They want you back, Faith. You have to know that.”
She shakes her head. “They need someone who belongs there.”
“You belong there. They’re not looking for anyone else.”
“What? They have to. You’re wrong.”
“I’m not wrong. I was just there yesterday. I would’ve gone earlier but I didn’t know you’d quit. Seeing those strong women falling apart was torture. Matt is a mess, too.”
“No. They should be happy. Now they can have someone who deserves a place there.”
I turn fully to her, and take her hands in mine. She doesn’t pull away which I take as a good sign. Hell, I’ll take whatever she’ll give me at this point. I pause a minute as the waiter comes by and drops off my croissant and juice. I thank him before turning back to Faith.
“I’m not going to try and tell you what you should feel, or what they should feel. I’m just going to tell you what I know, and what I saw, okay?”
She nods and squeezes my hands. “Okay.”
“You fit in, Faith. Every interaction I saw between you and your friends makes that abundantly clear. From what I understand, you excelled at every one of your classes.” She starts to speak, but I stop her with a quick kiss. “I know about the martial arts one. But I also know what I saw a few weeks ago. And you may have had to work harder at that, but you’ve mastered it. You mastered her. Seeing Selene getting crazier as she realized just how good you are was scary. You did that to her, made her lose her mind when she understood that she’d underestimated you.”
“But they all know now that I should never have been recruited.”
“I’d love to see anyone try and tell them that.”
“Seriously, Gav. It’s embarrassing.”
“It shouldn’t be. Your friends don’t care how you got there. They just want you to be there. I wasn’t kidding—they’re all falling apart. Matt said Aiden and Nate can’t even stand to go into the Foundation anymore. They miss you so much. As both a friend, and a co-worker.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that?”
“I thought you trusted me now.”
“I do.”
“I’m sorry about that, by the way. If I’d known about the blindfold—“
She’s the one reaching over to kiss me now. “You took something that was scary for me and turned it into pleasure and fun. I needed that, Gavin.”
“I need you, Faith. Please come back to me.”
“I’m holding your hand and we’ve kissed twice. I’d say you’re making progress.”
“Those weren’t kisses. I know it’s been a few weeks, but I can’t believe you forgot what a real kiss is like.”
“I haven’t forgotten. How could I forget you and your magic lips.”
“Magic, huh? I like that—but only if my tongue, fingers, and cock get the same distinction.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I know.”
She laughs before leaning in and kissing me again. A real kiss that has us both gasping for breath when we break apart. She caresses my cheek as we place our foreheads together.
“I love you, Gavin.”
“And I love you, Faith.”
“Can you drive me to the Foundation? I have my car, but I’m a little shaky right now.”
“Of course I can.”
“You didn’t make a joke about me being shaky.”
“I didn’t think it was appropriate.”
“Since when do you ever care about being appropriate?”
“You’re right. And I’m glad I made you so shaky with just one kiss. Wait until later—I’ll make you so weak, you won’t be able to stand for a week.”
“There’s my Gavin.”
“Always. I’m always yours.”
* * *
Faith
The guards at the gate smile when they see me in the car with Gavin. I smile back as they wave us through. Gavin shuts off the car, and starts to open his door. I put my hand on his arm to stop him.
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. I’m going to be right there with you, but you really don’t need me. They want you back. I like the way you’re doing this, though. It’s good for you—and for them.”
“I do need you, Gavin. Talking this out with you on the way here helped me so much.”
It really did. The drive wasn’t long, but it gave me the time to talk out what I wanted to do. I think I must have always known I was going to do it because the plan came so easily to me. My subconscious obviously knew what I didn’t—I will never find another job like this one, or friends like them. I have to get my job back. Even if it means I have to beg and plead. Gavin says it won’t come to that, but I’m not above groveling.
I walk inside, and the receptionist waves to the elevators with a smile. I wait for her to activate them, but nothing happens. Gavin finally nudges me.
“Aren’t you going to let us in?”
“I don’t have authority anymore.”
“Go ahead and try.”
I place my palm on the panel, and the doors open immediately. It takes me a few seconds to recover, but then I take the few steps inside. As the elevator moves before I punch a number, I look into the camera above the door and smile at Ainsley.
Gavin motions me out when we get to the floor. My steps are hesitant as I enter the lobby. Alex runs over to me and hugs me immediately.
“Thank God you’re back, Faith. I missed you so much.”
“I’m not officially back yet, Alex. But thanks. I missed you,
too.”
Alex steps back and goes to sit at her desk again. I just stand there because I want to do this right. I need to speak, but just being inside these walls is getting to me. I’m afraid that I might start crying, and so I’m just standing here like an idiot. Gavin realizes what’s going on and helps me out.
“Faith would like to see Reina about applying for a job here. If she’s available.”
Alex looks flustered for a moment, but then composes herself. “Of course. Let me call her and see if she has time. Please have a seat.”
I let Gavin lead me over to one of the couches. He keeps my hand in his as we sit. I keep my back straight; although, I’d rather just cuddle into him. Actually being here is making my plan seem a little dumb.
“Stop worrying. Everything’s going great so far.”
“I haven’t talked to anyone yet. Reina might be too busy to see me.”
“She’ll have time for you.”
Before I can respond, Alex hangs up the phone and stands. “Reina’s ready to see you. Let’s go into the room.”
“You’re going too?”
“Everyone will be there. Reina said Gavin is welcome to join us, just this once.”
“Thanks, Alex,” he says as he stands, pulling me up with him.
I put one foot in front of the other as I walk on auto-pilot. I wasn’t expecting to see everyone else yet. I’d been hoping that my meeting with Reina would go well, and that I could ask to see everyone else before I left. I didn’t know they’d all be in the room when I presented my case for another chance at working with them.
It scares me, but at the same time I feel relief. I want their acceptance as much as I want to be working with them again. Maybe having them there in the room, and their input on the decision, will make me finally feel like I truly belong with them. If they vote to allow me to come back, that is. I think they will, but I won’t know for sure until I ask.
I take a deep breath outside the room and walk in the double doors with Gavin at my side. I stop a couple of steps in to look at everyone who’s gathered here. It’s not just nine faces staring back at me, but thirty-two. All the girls, the five mentors, Matt and the guys, and the mentors’ family members who know, are all looking at me. And they’re all smiling. I feel my tears start again, but this time out of happiness.
Devouring the SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 2) Page 15