“Go get ‘em, Faith,” Gavin tells me as he kisses my cheek.
I nod and take a deep breath. “Hi everyone. I appreciate you all meeting me on such short notice, although I’m suspecting that you knew I’d be here today.”
I look at Gavin, but he just gives me one of his infuriating shrugs and lopsided smiles. So yeah, now I know this was part of the plan all along. I came up with my part on my own, but he always knew we’d end up here. And so did they. Now it’s just time to prove that I really belong here. You know, the easy part.
Chapter 15
Faith
“I’m sure Alex has told you that I’m here to apply for a job. I’d like to point out the reasons why I think I’m qualified to work here and be part of this amazing team of women. I know a chef isn’t someone with a background you’d normally consider. I’m no genius like some of the women, and I’m not the best fighter in the room.
“What I can bring, is passion. I had Zane tattoo this on my arm last week.” I lift up the sleeve of my sweater to show them the quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. It says “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
“I believe entirely in that quote, and I know that all of you here do as well. I want to be part of that. Helping to erase as much injustice in the world as possible. It’s what I’m called to do. More than even cooking, this is what I was born for. What I was put on this Earth for.
“I’m willing to go back through training again. To prove myself to all of you. I just want to be here. I want it more than anything. Well, almost anything,” I say as I look over at Gavin sitting next to me. I sit down next to him with a smile. He squeezes my hand and leans over to kiss my cheek.
Jane stands up, and while she isn’t smiling, I can tell that she’s also not angry. “Faith, I cannot give you a job here.”
“Oh, I’ll just go then.”
No, this can’t be happening. I didn’t think it would be as easy as Gavin said it would be, but I thought she’d give me a chance. When I look at him, I can tell he’s as shocked as I am. The girls are all speaking, imploring Jane to change her mind. Reina looks like she might be sick.
“If everyone would quiet down and let me finish, we can move on.”
They all settle down, and I stand and wait for Jane’s reasons. I owe her that much. Plus I noticed that Cyndi and the other three mentors stayed calm when everyone else was thrown into chaos. So they know what’s going on, and I think Cyndi would be looking more upset if this was really the end.
“As I was saying, I can’t offer you a job here. Because you already have one. You needed some personal time, and that’s to be expected after all you learned and experienced. But your job is here for you. Now or later, whenever you feel that you’re ready for it again.
“I also want you to understand that while you’re recruitment was a little unusual for us, every woman here was recruited in a different way. No two women who work for us are ever alike. We don’t want a cookie cutter girl. It is uniqueness that makes us so strong. Would a chef have been a natural choice for me? No, I can’t say that it would have. But neither would a fashion stylist or a bartender. Should your friends be thrown out because a cat burglar and a linguist are more natural choices, Faith?”
I look to Stella and Ellie, and shake my head. “No, of course not.”
“You earned your place. All of you did. Military women, police women—some of the outwardly strongest women we’d ever tried to recruit—failed their training. Because being here isn’t all about physical strength or how well you can do in a fight. It’s about strength of character and the willingness to put your life on the line to save someone else’s. You have proven time and time again that we made the right choice with you. I dare anyone in this room to say differently.”
I’m openly sobbing into Gavin’s shoulder now as he rubs my back and kisses the top of my head, over and over again. I can hear other people crying in the silence that follows what Jane has said to me. It goes on for a few minutes, before Matt speaks up.
“For the love of God, please stop crying. All of you. I can’t take this anymore. None of us guys can. It kills us to see you like this. Please.”
I start to laugh and then walk over to hug him. “This time it’s happy tears.”
“Still tears. Shit,” he says as he pulls Reina to him. She’s crying even harder than I am. “Can you tell her it’s okay that she knew how you were recruited, please?”
I see her punch him in the stomach as I process what he just said. “Reina, do you think I’m mad at you?”
She nods against Matt’s chest. “Yes.”
“I’m not mad at you. I felt bad that you had to put up with me. I thought you’d resent me for that, even though you never treated me differently.”
“Resent you?” she asks, pulling out of Matt’s embrace. “I love you, Faith. And I’m so proud of you and what you’ve accomplished. You have a crazy success rate on your missions, and I’ve never had any problems with anything you’ve done. You’re a valuable asset to the Society, and to me as a friend.”
“I love you, too.”
We hug and then everyone else comes over and hugs me separately, and then together. I look over and see Gavin and the other guys shaking their heads. I stick out my tongue at him, and he laughs. After almost everyone goes back to work, Reina tells me that I can come back any day I want. All my clearances and passcodes are intact, and my office is just how I left it.
“You’re apartment’s the same as you left it, too.”
“You always knew I’d come back.”
“No, I always hoped you’d come back.”
“Thank you for believing in me.”
“Always.”
She hugs me, and walks out, leaving me alone with Gavin, Jane, and Cyndi. Jane walks over and hugs me. “I just wanted to tell you, again, how proud I am of you. I know Cyndi has some things she needs to talk to you about, so I’m going to leave the two of you alone. Gavin can wait in the lobby.”
He looks at me, making sure I’m okay with that. “Go on. I’ll be fine,” I tell him as I lean up and kiss him lightly on the lips.
“I’ll be out there if you need me. For anything.”
“I know.”
They walk out and I go to sit down next to Cyndi. “Hi.”
“Hi, Faith.”
“You want to talk about my mom, don’t you?”
“Her and also me. I’m sorry you had to find out about everything when you were dealing with so much more.”
“I just don’t understand. She helped cover up my dad’s murder, and then married that bastard. And she didn’t care when I wanted to move in with my grandparent’s. Why all of a sudden care when I was in culinary school?”
“From what I understand, your mother wasn’t given a choice about any of the things she did.” I start to speak, but she holds up her hand. “They threatened you, Faith. Both of those disgusting people told her to get over the death of the man she loved and play along, or they would make sure you had an accident. She’s been abused and belittled for all these years because she wanted to keep you safe.”
“No. She didn’t want me. She told me…”
Oh my God. I’m remembering now. Remembering how she was saying her words but her eyes didn’t match. I was a little girl and didn’t understand it then. As an adult, I understand it now. I can remember her face and see the fear there. And the pain. All this time, I thought she hated me, and my father. But she didn’t. She was just helpless. Until she found someone to protect me.
“But I’ve been safe since you recruited me.”
“Yes. And your mother has been slowly extricating herself from them. She’s been recording conversations and hiding money. She already had a getaway planned for this month. She was going to leave during the annual Christmas party your grandmother throws and go into hiding. We were helping her.”
“Thank you. I know those words aren’t nearly enough for all you’ve done for me, but I mean it. Thank
you, Cyndi.”
“There’s one more thing, but she’d like to tell you herself, if you’ll let her.”
“She’s here? My mother’s here?”
“Yes. I’ll let her in, if that’s alright with you?”
“You’ll stay with us.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Please.”
She nods and picks up the phone, telling Jane that I’ve agreed to see my mother. The doors open, and she walks in. I stand, but I don’t go to her. She comes to me. She starts to reach out, but then stops herself. We all sit down.
“My beautiful Faith. I’ve missed everything in your life. I’ve missed you.”
“I-I missed you, too.”
“Did Cyndi tell you I didn’t want to let you go?”
“Yes. And I remember your face now. I can see your pain. I couldn’t then, but I do now.”
“I should’ve known that your grandmother and Morty were going to come for me. But I thought that after eight years, they had finally realized I loved your father and was never going to leave him. We shouldn’t have let our guard down. We were just so happy.”
“I remember. Cyndi said there’s something else you need to tell me.”
“I knew Morty was having an affair a little over a year ago. I was honestly happy and hoped he would leave me. Cyndi had given me a bug to put in his office so we would know if he went after you. It wasn’t me or you that we heard him planning to go after, though.”
“A little over a year? You mean…oh my God…you heard them talking about my grandparents.”
“Yes we did, Faith.”
“And you didn’t try to save them?”
I jump out of my chair and back away from them both. They could’ve saved them and they didn’t. Why are they telling me this? I’ve had enough pain for many lifetimes, and now this.
“We did save them, Faith.”
As I’m processing what Cyndi just said, the doors open again and my grandparents walk in. My legs give out and I fall to the floor. Tears I didn’t know I had left in me are falling down my cheeks. They rush to me and hug me from both sides as they cry.
I’m finally able to stand enough to get back in my chair and then we talk. For hours just talking, my mother and grandparents and I. We talk and hug and kiss. I’m so lucky to have a second chance. With all of them.
* * *
Gavin
I waited for Faith for hours. I don’t know what was going on, but I can’t believe she wouldn’t at least send someone to tell me something. Anything. All Alex would say was that something wonderful was happening. I even stayed after she left, telling me which button to press to call someone if I needed something. I just needed Faith.
I finally left when I was so hungry I could’ve eaten my own arm. I pressed the button and told whoever answered that Faith would need a ride back to her car. I left and drove back to the hotel I checked into the day after everything went down. I couldn’t stay in that house for another minute.
I’m waiting for room service right now. I grabbed a salad downstairs, but I want a full meal. And to be alone. The salad took the edge off my hunger, while a warm shower with some hand action took the edge off my libido.
As I slip on some gym shorts, there’s a knock at my door. I grab some cash for a tip and open it. It’s not room service, though. It’s Faith.
“You left. You promised to stay, and you left,” she says as she walks past me into the suite.
I can’t do this. I just can’t. I waited there for a long time while she did God knows what without even getting a message to me. “I stayed a long time, Faith.”
“I wasn’t aware that there was a time limit on how long you’d be there for.”
“I was starving since I hadn’t eaten anything but a couple bites of my breakfast. And I felt like a fool, okay? I mean I was there for hours and you couldn’t even send someone out to tell me something? Anything?”
“I…I.” She stops and looks away.
Whatever she couldn’t say can’t be good. I need to hear it, though. There can’t be any other secrets between us.
“You what? Just spit it out.”
“I forgot you were there. I’m sorry.”
I reel back like I was punched. Because it feels like I was. What. The. Holy. Fuck. She forgot me? I’m such an idiot.
“Get out.”
“What? Let me explain Gavin. Please.”
“You just admitted that you fucking forgot me. I offered you everything I have to give, and you forgot me.”
“I had a good reason.”
“You’re really just making it worse. Please leave or I’ll call security to remove you.”
“I love you.”
“Goodbye Faith.”
* * *
Faith
I take out my phone as I walk back to the elevator. The room service person gets off as I get on. I see him about to knock for Gavin as the doors close. Stella answers as I exit into the lobby.
“Hey. What are you doing calling me? You should be in bed with your man.”
“Can you pick me up? I can’t drive right now.”
“Of course I’ll come get you. Where are you?”
“Red Rock.”
“Okay, honey. I’ll be there in ten. Just wait inside for me. It’s going to be alright. You’ll be alright.”
“No. I really won’t,” I tell her before hanging up.
She picks me up, and I slump against the door while she drives us home. I know she wants to talk, but she also knows I’ll tell her when I’m ready. Which is not now.
When we walk into my apartment, I’m not surprised to see people already there. Well, I’m a little surprised to see the guys. But I was expecting the girls.
Reina approaches me first. “What happened, Faith?”
“Gavin.” It’s all I can say. All I can get out right now.
“Is a dead man,” Matt says as he gestures to the door while Nate and Aiden jump up to follow him.
“No, Matt. It’s my fault that he hates me. It’s all my fault. I hurt him.”
“What could you have possibly done that’s so bad?”
“I accused him of lying to me when he said he’d wait for me to finish at the Foundation. And when he told me that he left because he was hungry, and no one had told him anything for all the hours he waited, I…I told him I’d forgotten he was there.”
“Shit. I know you were excited to see your grandparents. But still. You forgot that he was there?” Matt asks me.
“He did so much for me today and I just shattered him.”
“You’re right. It’s bad.”
“Not helping, Matt.”
“What? You want me to lie to her and tell her it’s cool that she told the guy she forgot him after he got her back together with all of us, Princess?”
“Of course not. But we need to help her come up with a plan to get him back instead of focusing on what she did.”
“You think I can get him back?”
“He loves you, Faith. He’s more than proved that. You just need to prove that you love him back.”
“I haven’t really done that, have I Rei?”
“No, honey. I don’t think so.”
We spend the next few hours thinking up and rejecting plans while eating pizza Matt has delivered for all of us. There’s something wrong with every scenario we think of. I don’t know what we’re missing, but nothing is clicking. I finally tell everyone to go home and get some sleep. I try to take my own advice, but all I can think of is Gavin and how much I’ve hurt him. My body finally overrules my mind, and I pass out as the sun’s coming up.
Chapter 16
Faith
I’m at lunch with my mom and grandparents. I’m trying to pretend that everything’s okay, because I am truly happy to be here with all of them. But last night I shattered my heart along with Gavin’s. I don’t even know what to order since nothing sounds appetizing to me.
“Tell us more about your Gavi
n?” My grandmother says to me.
“He’s not mine anymore, Grandmother.”
“What? Jane told us he brought you back to them, and that his love for you is very great.”
“I hurt him yesterday, and now he hates me.”
“I could never hate you, Faith.”
I turn and see him standing behind me. I get out of my chair and face him. “Wh-what are you doing here, Gavin?”
“Your grandfather called me this morning and asked me to join you for lunch.”
I thought it was weird that there was an extra place setting, but I just figured the waiter would take it when we ordered. I’m confused about how my grandfather got his phone number, and why he called him, though. I turn to look at him.
“Grandfather?”
“Your friend Stella called this morning. She explained everything to me and gave me Gavin’s phone number. I called him, and after his initial shock, he understood why you were distracted yesterday.”
“Don’t sugarcoat what I did. It was horrible.”
Gavin turns me back to him and lifts my chin. “Yes it was. But I should’ve let you explain instead of allowing my wounded pride to rule me.”
“I was so excited to see that my grandparents were alive and know that my mom really loves me, but that’s no excuse, Gav. You never gave up on me and were sitting in the lobby for hours while I forgot you were there.”
“And then I left. After promising to stay. I should’ve just ordered something.”
“No. Don’t you dare try and take any blame for yesterday. That was all me. Will you give me another chance to prove how much I love you?”
“Always. And I’m sorry I didn’t say I love you back last night. I was upset, but I was really mad at myself for not saying it.”
“So you still do?”
“Yes, Faith. I love you.”
“Now that this is all settled, sit down and get comfortable. I have some questions for Gavin, and I’m sure your grandparents do as well,” my mom says.
“I am too old for you to be interrogating my boyfriend.” I stop and swing my head to where Gavin has sat down on my left side. I shouldn’t have called him my boyfriend because I don’t know if we’re back to that yet.
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