Slamdown Town

by Maxwell Nicoll

  He turned. Werewrestler stood there. With his piercing blood-red eyes. He heaved from the force of the blow. That somehow made him look even more like a savage wolf.

  “What are you . . . ?” Ollie started.

  But Werewrestler was on him in the time it took Ollie to blink. Werewrestler tackled him straight through the ropes and into the ring.

  He was pinned. And the match hadn’t even started yet!

  CHAPTER 39

  Ollie struggled under the massive weight of Werewrestler, who had him pinned in the center of the ring.

  “I’m here now,” declared Werewrestler. “And the belt stays with me.”

  “What in tarnation, folks?!” yelled Screech. “Werewrestler’s skipped his entrance and decided to get things started early.”

  “Knock it off, Werewrestler. The match hasn’t even started,” Ollie’s mom said as she moved in to separate them.

  Ding, ding, ding!

  “It has now,” snarled Werewrestler.

  Before he could be pulled off of him, Werewrestler began to unload strikes on Ollie.

  “Get off me, you cheater!” he yelled. Ollie dug out the mint Lil’ Old Granny had given him and shoved it in Werewrestler’s face. “I think you need this more than me.”

  “It’s a dirty and apparently smelly start, but it’s gonna stand now!” shrieked Screech.

  Werewrestler batted the breath mint away and left Ollie on the mat. He climbed the ropes and launched himself off them, intent on hurtling himself at his opponent. He fell straight down on Ollie.

  But Ollie was back on his feet. And he dished out an uppercut that rocked Werewrestler, who countered with a back elbow. So he ducked and landed a hard leg kick to Werewrestler’s shin. He took Werewrestler down.

  “A ripped shirt and a wolf necklace?” asked Ollie as he kept Werewrestler in a tight grip. “You seriously thought that could compete with my awesome cape and Big Chew underoos?”

  “I didn’t know they sold diapers for babies your size,” said Werewrestler.

  Then Werewrestler escaped and took him down. They traded blow for blow, grapple for grapple. But Werewrestler absorbed any hit Ollie gave and dished out more. Ollie wondered how long he could keep this up.

  He clasped his hands together and swung them straight into Werewrestler’s gut. The hit managed to drop Werewrestler to a knee.

  “Don’t you know gum belongs in the trash,” sneered Werewrestler.

  And with that, Werewrestler delivered an eye poke. An illegal eye poke.

  Ollie shook his head. He couldn’t recover in time to see Werewrestler charging toward him. But he sure felt the collision.

  “Get back!” he heard his mom yell.

  When his vision cleared, Ollie saw her speaking to Werewrestler.

  “That was dirty, and you know it,” she was saying.

  “A little biased, aren’t we, Margaret?” asked Werewrestler.

  “You know what you did. Don’t do it again,” she warned.

  Werewrestler rolled his eyes. His mom cleared them both to fight again. So Ollie answered the cheap shot with a clean spin kick. The blow made Werewrestler double over. That one had stung, in a very legal and acceptable manner.

  “That’s gonna leave a mark, folks,” observed Screech.

  “How does that phrase go again? All bark and no bite?” asked Ollie.

  Werewrestler bared his teeth. “Let’s see how you handle the Jaws of the Wolf.”

  “The Jaws of the Wolf!” shrieked Screech. “Sweet sarsaparilla, anything but that!”

  Werewrestler launched himself forward in a rage. He locked his titanic arms around Ollie. Werewrestler squeezed and squeezed and squeezed until Ollie felt like he might be snapped in two like a candy bar.

  “You know what my favorite thing about bubble gum is?” asked Werewrestler with a snicker. “Popping it.”

  “You should . . . really try . . . breath mints,” grunted Ollie.

  He brought a few headbutts down on Werewrestler. The first one dazed his opponent. The second one managed to free Ollie from his grasp.

  “Big Chew’s broken free. I thought his bubble was burst for sure!” yelled Screech.

  Werewrestler was back at it again. A rib-breaker. Then a superkick. And then a striking spear. Then he spun around and used his wolf pendant to strike Ollie in the face.

  The more they wrestled, the more obvious it became that Werewrestler was no joke. The brute force, the biting tongue, the costume; each element of Werewrestler’s game was worthy of a champion. The blows started to pile up.

  Ollie needed to slow down the fight. He thought back to the wisdom of Professor Pain, words that had lulled him to sleep the previous night.

  “The mark of a true ’rassler,” said the Professor from Ollie’s phone as he lay under the covers, “is knowing yourself. Only once you know yourself can you know your opponent. Stop fighting the fights in here”—he said, pointing to his head—“and start fighting the fights out there,” he said, pointing away from him. “Time to get out of your own head and into theirs. And then put that head in a headlock.”

  So he tried to get into his opponent’s head.

  “You’re like that swamp monster from those movies, but hairier,” he said. “Enjoy hanging around swamps? Is that where you feel at home? You certainly smell like a swamp monster. I can practically taste your body odor!”

  “You want a taste? Here!” shouted Werewrestler. He launched a cannonball somersault that sent Ollie backward. It took everything he had to even remain on his feet.

  “I don’t think they make deodorant strong enough to cover that up!” he shouted.

  Werewrestler snarled.

  “And trust me, I’ve walked enough dogs in my life to know that what you need right now is a muzzle!” yelled Ollie.

  There! Werewrestler opened himself up for just a moment. So Ollie wasted no time. He spun out of the way. He avoided Werewrestler’s attempted takedown to land a forehand chop, which caused Werewrestler to stumble.

  Ollie quickly followed up with a knee to the chest and then a swift elbow to the back.

  “Watch those shots to the back,” barked his mom.

  She hated breaking rules even more than she hated Werewrestler.

  “That’s why I didn’t aim for the head,” he argued back.

  “Right, but just make sure to—”

  Wham!

  Stars appeared in front of his eyes. Werewrestler had hit him while his back was turned. With a chair. He knew this because Werewrestler promptly hit him with it again.

  “I just said watch the attacks from behind!” shouted Ollie’s mom.

  She placed herself between him and Werewrestler.

  “And no chairs allowed in this match,” she added.

  “Guess I didn’t hear you, ref,” said Werewrestler. “Too busy defending my belt.”

  He tapped the shiny gold belt around his waist.

  “But you wouldn’t know what that feels like.”

  Ollie saw his mom’s face turn red. She pointed a warning finger at Werewrestler. Ollie was grateful for the break. It allowed him to clear his head. And to set up a Big-Chew-flying-cape special attack aimed right at Werewrestler’s rule-breaking face.

  “Eat this, you dirty cheater!” he yelled.

  But Werewrestler caught the cape before it wrapped around his face.

  “Sticks and stones may break my bones,” Werewrestler said with a scowl. “And I don’t even need dirty tricks to beat ya.”

  “Sounds like someone’s been to the local slam poetry contest!” shouted Screech.

  “I’m gonna drop you straight into the floor,” declared Werewrestler.

  He was true to his word. Werewrestler plowed right through Ollie and landed a devastating—but definitely legal—gut-buster drop.

  Ollie toppled to the ground. And this time, he stayed down.

  He was exhausted. Nothing he threw at Werewrestler worked. He was running out of ideas. Maybe Werewrestler couldn’t
be beaten.

  Ollie felt Werewrestler lift him up. He was powerless to stop him.

  “It can’t be. Is this the end of Big Chew?!” screamed Screech.

  “Should have figured you wouldn’t put up a fight,” mocked Werewrestler. “There’s only one champion in this league. And you’re looking down at him. Enjoy your flight!”

  And with that, Werewrestler tossed him out of the ring.

  CHAPTER 40

  Ollie snapped out of his daze. He had just enough time to grab the top rope as he soared over it. The rope snapped and catapulted him back into the ring.

  Directly at Werewrestler. His outstretched arm collided with Werewrestler’s jaw. The added speed from the top rope gave Ollie the extra wallop he needed to finally astonish Werewrestler, who struggled to stay upright.

  “What a tremendous display of acrobatics there by Big Chew,” gushed Screech.

  He was still in the match. And he intended to win it.

  “You ain’t getting that lucky,” said Werewrestler. “In fact—”

  Ollie grabbed the wad of gum from behind his ear while sending the shocked Werewrestler hurtling toward the ropes.

  “I think it’s time to burst your bubble!” Ollie shouted. He slapped the gum on his boot. Then he extended his right leg and aimed straight for Werewrestler’s approaching face.

  The finishing move did its job. Werewrestler swayed and fell like a ton of bricks onto the mat. Ollie ran over. Werewrestler was out cold.

  “Werewrestler ate a faceful of gum!” yelled Screech.

  This was his moment.

  “It’s been fun,” said Ollie. He pulled Werewrestler up by his silver chain and lifted all four hundred and ninety pounds above his head. “But it’s time for me to take that shiny gold belt for myself.”

  This was it. He was going to win.

  All of his hard work. Everything Tamiko and he had worked toward was about to come true. All he had to do was toss Werewrestler onto the mat and pin him for ten seconds. He soaked in the roar of the crowd.

  But then he saw it.

  One. Empty. Seat.

  The seat directly next to Tamiko.

  His seat.

  Ollie let Werewrestler fall back to the mat as he walked to the ropes.

  “What’s he waiting for, folks?” demanded Screech.

  The arena had been filled to capacity. Except for his seat. The one that had his name on it in permanent marker. The seat that he had sat in for years and years, but that had been empty ever since he became Big Chew. Tamiko had always made sure to keep his spot open for him. And it seemed there hadn’t been enough fans for someone to take his spot.

  They were one short.

  At any other time, Ollie would have demanded his seat be reserved just for him. It seemed almost a cruel twist of fate that his demand was fulfilled, today of all days.

  Now, with victory only moments away . . .

  One simple pin and Big Chew would be named the Slamdown Town champion. But then Slamdown Town would close forever. Linton had made the stakes clear. A butt in every seat by the time the new champion was declared.

  Ollie knew he belonged in that seat more than he belonged in the ring. Unfortunately for Ollie, Werewrestler also felt that Big Chew did not belong in the ring. Which was how Ollie suddenly found himself careening up and over the ropes.

  For the briefest of moments, Ollie had the sensation of flying. That sensation was immediately followed by Ollie crashing straight through a wrestling barricade and into a pile of ringside equipment boxes. He lay there, dazed, wondering what exactly had sent him shooting over the ropes with such force.

  Moving aside the barricade to get a better look at the ring, Ollie saw Werewrestler standing on the mat with what appeared to be a pair of shiny silver brass knuckles on one of his fists. The Bolt had warned Ollie not to turn his back on Werewrestler. If only he had remembered.

  “What in the worldwide sport of wrestling? Has Werewrestler lost his mind?!” yelled Screech. “That may be the dirtiest move I’ve ever witnessed in all my time here at Slamdown Town!”

  Screech wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Ollie doubted he had ever seen his mom angrier than she was at that moment. He could see the veins on her neck pulsing all the way from where he was now.

  “Absolutely unacceptable!” she roared in Werewrestler’s face. “The use of a class-five unsanctioned weapon combined with a blow from behind is not only illegal, but also indecent and immoral!”

  “Ah, shut yer trap,” snarled Werewrestler.

  Werewrestler turned, grabbed Ollie’s mom, and slammed her down onto the ground.

  “Now he’s attacking the ref!” shouted Screech.

  He lifted her into the air and slammed her back down on top of his knee. Then he tossed her into the corner of the ring. She shook it off, wiped her brow, and stood.

  “Werewrestler. You’ve crossed the line. The rules are very clear that—”

  Werewrestler growled and pointed toward the direction of Big Chew. “You know the rules, don’t ya? He’s been out there for way more than ten seconds.”

  “Oh, I know the rules all right,” assured Ollie’s mom.

  “Good,” sneered Werewrestler. “Then name me the champion.”

  “And according to the rule book, attacking the referee is grounds for one of two punishments. One, the referee has the authority to disqualify the attacker. Or two, the referee could fight back. And the second option seems way more fun.”

  She charged forward and wrapped her arms around him and delivered an intense yet standard-abiding pile driver.

  “What in blazes is happening?” demanded Screech. “Somebody get me a rule book! And did anybody see what became of Big Chew? Maybe we need to send out a search party.”

  Ollie had no clue what was running through his mom’s head. But he knew that somehow, some way, what she was doing was staying true to who she was. Which meant that somehow, some way, what she was doing was all by the book.

  A choice had presented itself to Ollie. He could either run into the ring as Big Chew to help his mom and claim the belt. Or . . .

  It was just like their posters had said:

  ONLY YOU CAN SAVE SLAMDOWN TOWN

  After everything he had been through over the past few weeks, Ollie knew exactly what to do. But he needed to be fast, while the crowd was still distracted. So he spat the gum out of his mouth. Back to his normal self, Ollie had no issue tiptoeing out behind the equipment boxes unseen.

  Everyone’s attention was still firmly fixed on the chaos inside the ring.

  He dashed up into the stands. Jogged up the stairs.

  And he planted his butt firmly in the seat next to Tamiko. His seat.

  “Ollie! What are you doing?!” yelled Tamiko.

  “Saving the arena. We were still one short,” he said as he pointed to the chair. “Slamdown Town needs me more than it needs Big Chew.”

  “But you’ve wanted that belt for, like, forever,” said a stunned Tamiko.

  “I know. And I still do.” Ollie smiled. “But what would be the point if I couldn’t come here every Saturday with my best friend in the whole wide world?”

  “What about Werewrestler?”

  They turned their attention back to ring, where his mom had Werewrestler in a very legal and very painful-looking chokehold.

  “Seems that’s already being taken care of,” he answered.

  “By gum, folks, today has a been a day of firsts!” shrieked Screech as he scooped up the mic from the wreckage. “I thought Werewrestler’s blow was dirty. But a referee wrestling for the belt? Is this even legal?”

  His mom, now holding Werewrestler in a firm-but-fair headlock, found a nearby regulation microphone and switched it on.

  “Actually, Screech, I’d advise you to turn to page four hundred and sixty-two of the official Slamdown Town rule book,” she instructed.

  An attendant brought the massive rule book over to Screech.

  “If you look care
fully at rule number seven hundred eighty-seven,” she explained, “you will see that in the event of a catastrophic rule violation, such as attacking the referee, a referee may take it upon herself to enter the match.”

  “It looks like our esteemed referee is one hundred percent legitimate.”

  “And as such, I am, under those conditions, well within my right to stake my claim on the belt,” concluded his mom.

  Ollie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  She threw Werewrestler to the mat, leapt on top of him, and pinned him. The entire arena counted to ten in unison and, collectively, confirmed the victory.

  Ding, ding, ding!

  “Well, now, didn’t y’all hear what she said?” demanded Screech. “The referee is your new, perfectly legal, by-the-book Slamdown Town champion! And she’s already got a kick-butt costume to boot. Give it up for the woman in the black-and-white stripes.”

  Ollie let out a cheer. He felt the rush of the entire arena as fans jumped to their feet. Finally, after all these years, Werewrestler had been defeated. His mom retrieved the belt from Werewrestler, who was too busy seeing stars to react, and held it high above her head. The audience roared their approval.

  “Let’s make sure that cheering remains at acceptable decibel levels,” warned his mom. The arena quieted ever so slightly. “Much better. Also, will the owner of the white suburban with the license plate SCR33CH please make their way to the parking lot. It appears Lil’ Old Granny got in your car by mistake and is currently heading toward the freeway.”

  “Goodness gracious, I gotta run!” shouted Screech as he grabbed his keys and jetted for the parking lot.

  “Did that just happen?” asked Tamiko, turning to Ollie.

  “Oh, it happened. My mom’s a champion!” he shouted.

  As if he sensed an opportunity to ruin a good mood, Linton Krackle appeared.

  He casually walked down the entrance ramp. He soaked up all the boos and yelling without so much as a single flinch.

  “Go back to the hole you crawled out from!” yelled Ollie.

  “You’re the worst person in the history of everything!” shouted Hollis.

  “Your business skills are like your breath. They both stink!” screamed Tamiko.