Where Your Heart Is (Lilac Bay Book 1)

by Rachel Schurig

  “I should have been here more often over the last twelve years, Mimi. I should have been here for you and for Pops, and I’m so sorry.”

  Apparently, we were each going to get a turn to cry on that dock because now big gulpy sobs were coming from my throat. “You were always so loving and welcoming to me, and I threw it back in your face. I stayed away, and I missed out on so much. I’ll never forgive myself for not being around for you and Pops.”

  “Oh, sweetheart. Your grandfather and I always just wanted you to be happy. Wherever that might be.”

  “Ladies?” I looked up to see that the last of the tourists were boarding the ferry, and Jerry was standing next to us, a crate in his arms. If he thought our behavior was odd, he didn’t give any indication. Instead, he tilted his head toward the gangway. “Did you want to get on this ferry? Because they’re pulling in the ropes.”

  “Yes,” Mimi said, wiping her eyes. “We do.”

  Posey shot me a quick, questioning look. “You, too?”

  I slipped my arm through hers. “Of course. I need some advice, and there’s no one I’d rather talk to than the two of you.”

  As we filed onto the boat, Jerry leaned down toward me. “Iris, I just want to warn you, there’s a chicken in this crate. I don’t want you getting scared again, dear.”

  “I won’t, Jerry,” I assured him. “My fear of chickens was short-lived.”

  My family and I found seats together near one of the windows on the starboard side. No sooner had we sat down did a familiar voice call out a hello. Libby and Sherry, her perm looking a little less tragic today, somewhat flattened by the wind, were sitting opposite us on the port side. They immediately got up and came over to join us, as did Jerry. Not quite the private moment I was hoping for to discuss all the thoughts spinning through my head.

  “How’d the interview go?” Sherry asked. “Probably not so great if you’re back here already, huh?”

  “How’d you know about the—” I started to say, but a quick glance at my grandmother had me shaking my head. I guessed I would be more surprised if the whole island didn’t know.

  “So?” Libby asked. “Are you leaving us for the glitz of the big city? Come on, spill.”

  Well. I had said I wanted the advice of my family. I supposed friends could be just as helpful.

  So I told them all about the interview and my conversation with my dad. “And I just don’t know what to do now,” I finished. “Because the thought of going back to that kind of job makes me feel… well, tired, to be honest. And not very excited.”

  “I don’t know,” Sherry said. “Living in Chicago sounds plenty exciting to me. We don’t even have cars.”

  “I know,” I muttered. “Believe me, I know.”

  “But it wouldn’t be exciting if it didn’t make you happy,” Libby pointed out.

  “But it’s what I’ve been working toward,” I argued. “Doesn’t it seem wrong to waste all that effort?”

  “I don’t think it would be a waste,” Posey said quickly. “I mean, you learned things over the years that could help you in lots of different ways. Like, ways that could totally come in handy if you lived, say, on the island.”

  I grinned at her obvious attempts to convince me to come back for good. “Like what?”

  “Well, look at how much of a help you were with the restaurant renovation.”

  “I don’t really see a lot of opportunity to be a full-time real estate developer on the island.”

  “No, but maybe all you need is one opportunity to develop something. A restaurant or a hotel or something. But this time, instead of moving on to the next deal, you could run that restaurant or hotel.”

  I had never considered running one of the properties I’d worked on. The goal was always to sell, make money, and find the next opportunity.

  “You were very helpful with the café books,” Mimi pointed out. “And now that Edward has poached my best manager, I’m a little short staffed.”

  I tried to imagine a life of running the café. Would that be enough for me? Making sandwiches and selling coffee? Not just that, the little voice in my head chimed in. You’d get to talk to customers, all the islanders that come in. You could implement all the improvements you’ve been itching to make. See if you could make things run better.

  “I don’t know,” I murmured, mind spinning.

  “I don’t think you need to know,” Mimi said gently. “I think maybe it’s enough to know that you have options. That you’re not trapped into any one thing.”

  I looked over at my mom, who was watching me. What had she said back on the beach? She hadn’t known what she wanted to do, either, when she came to Lilac Bay. She just knew what she didn’t want.

  “I could use some help at the farm,” Jerry offered, and I laughed.

  “Thanks, buddy. But I don’t think I like chickens quite that much.”

  “Well, I think you should turn it down,” Libby said staunchly. “It doesn’t sound like you got to enjoy too much of a social life back there. What’s the point of a high-paying job if you can’t even go out to lunch with your girlfriends?”

  Funny, I’d never even had girlfriends until I met the Libbies.

  “Besides.” She grinned mischievously. “I put you down to run the next meeting. You have one week to come up with a recipe.”

  I laughed. “How about we cut to the chase, and I just bring a bunch of wine?”

  “Works for me,” Sherry said.

  I turned to my mother, the only one who hadn’t given an opinion. “What do you think I should do?”

  She sighed, looking out the window at the fast-approaching island. “I want you to be happy, Iris,” she said softly, her eyes still on the island. “I want you to make whatever choice will make you happiest.” Then she turned to me, and I could see that her eyes were blazing with some unknown passion. Fierce. “But if I had my way? You’d move to Lilac Bay so you could be with your family.” Her face softened. “I would miss you so much if you left.”

  A lump came to my throat, her words on the beach fluttering through my mind. I’ve always wanted you with me. Always. I just couldn’t figure out how to get you back. She reached over and took my hand, giving it a squeeze.

  “I would miss you, too,” I whispered. “All of you. Probably way too much to even consider leaving.”

  Posey’s face lit up. “Are you saying you’ll stay?”

  “Hey, are you any good at cooking?” Jerry asked, completely oblivious to the special moment he was interrupting. “Because I hear Rose’s might be in need of a new chef already.”

  There was a brief moment of silent as six female heads turned sharply in his direction. “What?” Posey cried.

  “I thought you guys knew. David is thinking of moving to the mainland.”

  “What?” This time all six of us gasped the question, and Jerry’s eyes widened with uncertainty.

  “You didn’t hear that?”

  “No,” my grandmother said, her voice tight. “I didn’t. And I would think he’d discuss it with Edward first.”

  “Well, he did,” Jerry said. “That’s how I heard. I was making my delivery, and they were talking it over.” He patted my grandmother’s hand reassuringly. “Now, don’t you worry. He said if it came to pass, he’d give notice and make sure Edward had good help first.”

  My heart was beating very fast. David moving to the mainland? That couldn’t be. He loved the island. Why would he leave?

  “It’s okay, Iris,” Posey said in a gentle voice that made me wonder how stricken my face must look.

  “Of course it’s not okay!” Sherry cried. “She just decided to move back and now the hottest piece of ass on the island is leaving!”

  “Sherry, language!” Libby said, shooting an apologetic look at my grandmother.

  “Well,” Mimi murmured, “she does rather have a point.”

  The engines made that horrible grinding noise that indicated docking, and I was up and out of my seat before anyo
ne else could even say a word.

  “Iris!” Posey called after me. “What are you going to say to him?”

  “I don’t know,” I called over my shoulder. “I just know I need to talk to him.”

  “Go get him, girl!” Libby called.

  “Yeah, and maybe share a little after you’ve got him!” Sherry added.

  As soon as the gangway was down, I pushed past the dockworkers with a hurried apology, running down the dock, not even noticing how it moved under my weight. All I could think of was finding David and explaining things before he could make a decision that would change everything.

  At the end of the dock, I was confronted with a choice. Go straight ahead to Main Street to see if he was at the restaurant? It wasn’t even noon yet, way too early to start for dinner. But he could be at any number of places in town and—

  On impulse, I turned to the left and ran down the path to the marina. I skidded down the dock to his boat slip and cursed when I saw that Love Spell was gone.

  “Oh, hey, Iris,” a familiar voice purred from a few slips away. I felt weak with relief as I turned to see Jill standing next to an older man I assumed to be a tourist. Very few people who lived on Lilac Bay would be dressed in seven-hundred-dollar Burberry wing tips.

  “Oh, thank God,” I muttered. Because if there was anyone who might know where David was, it was Jill. “Have you seen David?”

  Her face broke into a grin. “Have I ever! He was just here a few minutes ago, wearing those jeans I like.” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “You know the ones. And a T-shirt.” Another eyebrow waggle. “Very advantageous for untying his boat, you know what I’m saying?”

  “Did you ask him where he was going?”

  “He said something about Traverse City.” She pointed out into the bay. “He literally just left. You can still see his boat.”

  I squinted across the water, shielding my eyes from the sun. Sure enough, there was a small white spot several hundred yards from the dock. Maybe if I could get back on the ferry before it turned around, I would get to shore within a few minutes of him.

  The ferry’s horn brought an end to that idea. Over on the dock, I could see that they were nearly finished loading up the new passengers. There was no way I could make it before they left. You have to try, I thought, breaking into a run. I sprinted as fast as I could, nearly tripping over my wedge heels and wishing I had worn flat shoes for once in my life.

  Just as I expected, the ferry started to pull away before I even got to the end of the dock. “Damn,” I groaned, out of breath. “Shit!”

  “You okay, Iris?” I looked up to see Jerry walking down the dock, that damn chicken crate still in his arms.

  “I missed the ferry,” I said. I felt like I might cry. I had no idea where David might be going. The next ferry wouldn’t leave for a half hour. He could be anywhere by then.

  “You leave something on the mainland?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I whispered, the urge to cry intensifying.

  “Sorry, love. You know, if you’re going to stick around, you might want to get a boat. Much easier to get around. I always take mine across, unless I’m fetching chickens, of course.” He laughed merrily. “You know me, I could never leave the poor things to sit on the floor while I steered.”

  I stood straight, an idea occurring to me. “You have a boat?”

  “Sure do. Now, she’s not as nice as your cousin Andrew’s, that’s for sure, but—”

  “Could I borrow it?”

  He went still. “Well, now, Iris. I don’t know. I want to help and all, but it’s—”

  “Please, Jerry? Please? I’ll really owe you one.”

  “There’d be no question, sweetheart, if it wasn’t for… well… I kind of got the impression you were afraid of the water.”

  I waved my hands dismissively. “I’m much better now.”

  He seemed unconvinced. “Do you know how to drive a boat?”

  “Oh, yes!” Come on, Jerry. He’ll be on shore soon. “David taught me.”

  His face brightened. “Well, if David taught you, that should be all right.”

  I said a silent little pray that David’s reputation held such sway for people on this island as I followed Jerry down the dock and over to the marina. Luckily his boat was docked in one of the first slips. He pulled a key from his pocket as I started to untie the lines. You can do this, I told myself, battling down the rush of fear. It’s no different from David’s boat. Okay, so it maybe was about twenty years older. And it didn’t have the GPS or a sat phone or sonar or—but it was going to be fine! I could do this!

  “Be careful, love,” he said, handing me the key. “It tends to stall when you first start up—just give it some gas.”

  “Got it. Thanks, Jerry.”

  I managed to get the boat out into open water without panicking. So far, so good. But then it stalled out when I tried to get some speed. Give it some gas, I reminded myself, trying not to wince at the way the entire thing shuddered. I finally got it going, cutting a straight line across the bay, careful to avoid the ferry route. The small white dot was nearly to the shore now. I put on some more speed, and the whole boat shook, making me gasp in fear. The boat wasn’t as big as Love Spell, and I felt a lot closer to the water than I did with David. And the waves were big and—I gulped, feeling a rush of panic.

  I closed my eyes for a brief second—not the smartest move when driving, I know—and tried to imagine David’s clear grey eyes. The way they held my gaze so firmly, making me feel calm. You can do this, he seemed to say in my head. I opened my eyes, feeling determined. I could do it.

  It took fifteen minutes to cross the bay. The fifteen most frightening moments of my life. But as I neared the shore, a strange kind of elation seemed to replace some of the fear. I was doing it!

  Love Spell was easy to spot, tied up to the public dock. I swallowed. I had never actually docked before. But I’d seen David do it a bunch of times. How hard could it be? I maneuvered toward the dock and concentrated on not crashing.

  “Iris?”

  David’s shocked call had me swerving, nearly hitting the end of the dock. “Shit,” I muttered, straightening it out. I came in slowly, inch by inch, until I could finally idle the engine and drift in to dock.

  “Did you drive this thing across the bay?” David cried, running down the dock to help me tie up. “By yourself?”

  He kneeled, tossing me a rope, tying another to the front of the boat. Jill had been right. He looked great in those jeans. He peered down at me, disbelief on his face. “Are you okay?”

  I was. The terror of the last few minutes meant nothing now. Not with him so close, looking at me with so much concern on his face.

  “Iris, what the hell is going on?”

  “I needed to get to you,” I told him. “I didn’t know where you were going and—”

  He pulled his phone from his pocket and peered down at the screen. “You didn’t try to call, did you?”

  Oh. His cell phone. Somehow, the thought had never occurred to me. Yeah, that was pretty stupid.

  “I needed to see you,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster. I was feeling incredibly silly about my dramatics. Why hadn’t I just called? Now that I was docked and my adrenaline was slowing down, the smell of Jerry’s boat was starting to register. It smelled like fish and chicken feathers. “And I need to get out of this boat.”

  He immediately reached down a hand to pull me up to the dock. The feel of his hand on mine, his skin work-worn and rough, made me want to weep.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, his eyes searching my face, afraid. “Did something happen in Chicago?”

  “No. Well, yes, I guess, kind of.” I was babbling, too overcome with being this close to him to put my thoughts into words. “Where were you going?” I asked. “Why did you come to the mainland? What’s this about you quitting Rose’s?”

  His face colored slightly. “I didn’t quit. I just talked to Edward about the possibilit
y. In case a few things panned out and…”

  He looked so uncomfortable, his hands shoved in his pockets. “What’s going on, David?”

  “Look,” he burst out, his words coming in a rush. “I behaved really badly the other night. I guess I have some issues with, you know, abandonment, when it comes to women. So I lashed out.” He swallowed, looking uncomfortable. I thought of all those days of grumpiness, of the way he had seemed so angry at me when I first showed up on the ferry dock. Before I could respond he was off again “But it was wrong of me to pressure you into giving up your career, Iris. I know how hard you worked for it. And I know that Traverse City is no Chicago, but they are doing a lot of development here. You said it yourself, the tourism industry is hot right now.” I don’t know what he saw on my face, but he held up his hands. “Like I said, I know it’s not Chicago. And I don’t expect you to—but it’s an option, that’s all. And if you decide you need to be in Chicago, well, long distance would be a lot easier from TC than from the island. It would save at least an hour on the commute. And in the winter, I mean, the island gets cut off, and I wouldn’t want—”

  I grabbed his hands. “David, what are you talking about?”

  He looked down at me, his brow furrowed. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to make this work for us, Iris. I don’t want you to give anything up. But I don’t want to give you up, either. I can’t.”

  “Are you saying you would…what, leave the island? Live in Traverse City?”

  His eyes were worried now, like he couldn’t tell what my reaction meant. “Well, yeah. I know long distance isn’t ideal, but maybe we could try it? And if it didn’t work.” He took a deep breath, straightening his shoulders. “I guess I didn’t hate Chicago that much. I could probably give it another go.”

  “You would move to Chicago for me?”

  He searched my face for another long moment before resting his forehead against mine. “I would do just about anything for you, Iris. I love you. The only thing I can’t do is lose you again.”