“Is that your new hobby, dude?”
Jonathan shook his head. “No, I’m trying to find Sam.”
“Oh. So you came here to make the calls?” Phil asked, noticing the public phone right behind the table where they are sitting. Jonathan nodded. “Dude, there is a phone at the apartment, you didn’t have to come here, you know?”
“I know, I just didn’t want to disturb you with my calls.”
“Dude, don’t be an idiot. Just use the freaking phone, and call away.”
“Thanks,” Jonathan answered. “Have you eaten anything? I’m just about to order lunch now.”
“No. I’m starving.”
Jonathan waved to the waiter, and signaled for him to bring two menus.
As they ate, Phil and Jonathan talked about starting at the firm the week after. Yet he had too much on his mind to pay attention. He couldn’t stop thinking about Grandma Rose’s response to his predicament.
“She kissed you back, and you told her it was a mistake, that you didn’t want that. That is why she left…”
Could that be true? Could Samantha have feelings for him, was that why she kissed him? Why she left? Because she didn’t think it had been a mistake, because she wanted it?
His heart flipped in his chest. There was this feeling inside he couldn’t fully understand. A feeling that stirred at the mere thought that she might love him. That Samantha might want to be with him.
“Jonathan!” Phil shouted annoyed, ripping him away from his thoughts.
He looked at Phil startled, and embarrassed. “Sorry, dude.”
Phil sighed. “As I was saying, we need to go buy more suits for the office. I don’t know about you, but I only have three and we can’t be wearing the same suits over and over at that high-end firm. You want to do that this week? Get a few dress shirts and shoes too?”
Jonathan nodded. “Yeah, uhm, I hadn’t really thought about that.”
“I know, me neither. Thank God we are splitting the expenses because we need every cent we can get until we start getting paid. The cab driver told me about an outlet mall close to here, that will help us out too,” Phil added, and Jonathan nodded, silent.
They finished eating and headed back to the apartment. Jonathan took the handset into his room and began calling again… It was 1:30am when he finally lay on the bed, feeling like his head would explode at any moment. He had gotten nowhere with his calls. He needed to talk to Samantha. He had to find her. Yet, he was also afraid of closing his eyes, because every time he did he saw her in his arms. Her lips on his, and his hands on her waist, he couldn’t stop thinking about those kisses. He felt completely confounded, by what had happened. He didn’t know what to think anymore. He was just certain of one thing.
He was miserable without her.
He needed her back.
Wednesday morning arrived, and Samantha stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom. She was getting ready for her new morning routine. The summer program wouldn’t start for another three weeks so she had been enjoying her time getting to know Oxford. She enjoyed visiting the library, which had always been her favorite place no matter where she was, and spending time with her new friends Christopher and Maggie. Today she was having breakfast with Maggie, and then she was meeting Christopher in the afternoon to go to the Ashmolean Museum. She had read about it many times, and now she finally had the opportunity to visit it. It was kind of mind-blowing to her. In the past week she had been gracefully distracted with her new friends. She went shopping with Maggie, just like she offered and was able to get a bunch of new clothes at sale prices. The Queen of Hearts would certainly not be bothering her anymore. Shopping had been surprisingly easier than she thought it would. It turned out, Maggie really knew her fashion, and could put together the most amazing outfits for Samantha. She even found herself embracing her feminine side a lot more. Not to mention finally being able to distinguish the clothes that would fit her body type.
Today, Samantha wore in a light blue linen summer dress. She had on a cream flowered cardigan, and pair of cream flats that matched perfectly with her small purse. The day before, Maggie had taken her to the hair salon, and convinced her to get a haircut. Nothing drastic of course, she had had long hair since before she could remember, so she just let them add layers. Samantha had to admit she liked the change. Ok, she loved it. The layers gave her hair a nice flair. She wouldn’t need to pick it up all the time now, because it fell nicely around her face and back. So, she decided to let it loose from now on. It was time for a change.
Maggie had also made her get new glasses, so now she had smaller rectangular frames that as Maggie had put it, “complemented her face, perfectly,” she chuckled. Maggie had taken it upon herself to give Samantha a full makeover.
“Who would have thought? Samantha Johnson wearing a dress, styled hair and new glasses,” she thought, amused. “If Jonathan saw me, he wouldn’t even recognize me,” immediately the pain returned. That was the thing about a broken heart. She could go out all day, spend time with her friends, and even get a full makeover. They were just a temporary fix. An illusion. Jonathan was always on her mind, and the second she was alone, or in bed at night, the pain returned and she cried. She had cried herself to sleep almost every single night, since she arrived.
“I miss him so much. I need him. I love him.”
She recited the words, with her hand over her heart. The words, which had become her daily prayer. She said them every morning before she stepped out, and every night when she returned. It was the truth she couldn’t escape, and even though it hurt, she welcomed it. Samantha loved him, and that was not going to change overnight. She knew it would be overwhelming for a while, but with time, the pain would lessen. So she would recite the words every morning and every night, until it stopped hurting. Until, it stopped being her truth.
She put some lipstick on, a bit of blush, mascara, and left.
Samantha walked into the cafe and spotted Maggie and Christopher sitting at a table towards the back.
She walked towards them, giving each a kiss on the cheek when she reached them. Christopher looked at her confused. It was the first time she had ever done that since they met. Samantha noticed their reaction and smiled.
“Well, I kiss when I say hello. It’s what I do with my friends, and my Dad. You guys are now officially my friends, so find a way to deal with it,” she said, and sat down while their laughter mingled. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming to breakfast today,” She asked, Christopher.
“What? You already want me gone?” He asked in response, with a crooked smile on his lips.
“Wow, it took shorter than I thought for her to get tired of you, Chris! That’s a new record,” Maggie added, taking a sip of her lemonade. “Not that I blame her. I’ve been trying to find a way to get rid of you for years.”
Samantha laughed shaking her head. Christopher chuckled, ignoring Maggie, as she laughed louder.
“Well, I thought I wasn’t going to make it to breakfast because I had an errand to run, but I woke up earlier and took care of it. And here I am, with my favorite ladies. I have to say, Samantha, you should consider yourself privileged. It took much longer for me to name Maggie my ‘favorite lady’. She had to endure all kinds of trials,” he gave her a crooked smile, and winked at her.
“Oh, kill me now!” Maggie said dramatically. They laughed.
“Are you still going with me to the museum this afternoon?” Samantha asked, still chuckling.
Christopher shook his head. “No, I’m afraid we are not going this afternoon.”
“Awe,” Samantha answered, genuinely saddened. “I was looking forward to it. It’s ok, I understand if you are busy.”
He chuckled. “Since my morning schedule has suddenly cleared up, we can go after breakfast.”
“Oh, you are horrible, mister!” She said, pushing him playfully and he laughed.
“Ok, guys can we order now? I’m starving!” Maggie asked and they
nodded laughing.
After breakfast, Maggie said her goodbye. She had to go pick up her family at the airport. Her Mother and her two brothers were visiting for the next two weeks.
“Ok, guys, I’m off. Again, I’m sorry that I’m going to be abandoning you for basically the next two weeks. I haven’t seen my family since they last visited four years ago. I will be spending all my time with them, trying to convince them to move here, as I do every time they visit,” she said chuckling.
Samantha smiled. “It’s no problem sweetie, enjoy!”
“Are you sure? You guys aren’t mad?”
Samantha sighed. “Don’t be silly, it’s your family. Besides I have Christopher, I’ll kidnap him every time I need company, don’t you worry.”
Maggie chuckled. “Ok, one last thing before I go. Please don’t forget to feed him every three hours, make sure he takes a bath and washes behind his ears. Oh, and have him in bed by 9:00pm every night or he gets irritable the next morning.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, just leave already!” Christopher shouted, shooing her away.
Maggie’s laughter rang loud in the air as she turned, and walked out of the café.
Samantha was still laughing when her eyes fell on Christopher again. She found him smiling from ear to ear.
“So, that was your plan all along, wasn’t it? You are kidnapping me.”
“You better believe it. Also, I have Maggie’s approval so too bad, mister. You are officially my friend and that means putting up with me at all times. Besides, I was with Maggie most of last week so it’s your turn.”
He laughed, “All right then. Shall we go?”
Samantha nodded smiling, and they walked out of the cafe.
On their way to the museum Christopher’s eyes drifted towards Samantha. He couldn’t help but feel drawn to her. There was just something about her that he couldn’t quite comprehend. It intrigued him, attracted him, excited and saddened him all at the same time. He forced himself to look at the park they were walking by, but his eyes returned to her of their own volition.
“I rather like the makeover. Your hair looks very nice,” he said quietly, dragging his eyes from her once again.
She smiled. “Thanks, it was all Maggie’s idea. I figured I might as well try something new. New place, new job, new life, new look, right?”
He chuckled. “Right.”
They arrived at the entrance of the museum and Samantha’s eyes roamed the building, taking in every single detail. She was mesmerized by this place. Everywhere she looked she saw beauty.
“The architecture here is something out of a dream.”
He looked at her considering her words and smiled. “You know, living here, seeing it every day it all becomes so normal, so ordinary. I walk by these buildings every day, and never take a second look. But seeing you so enchanted by it all, so happy and awe struck by it, it kind of awakens the sense of appreciation in one’s self again. It’s like I’m seeing it all for the very first time with you.”
She smiled, looking into his kind eyes. “I love the Greek architecture of this museum,” she answered, her eyes returning to the building and focusing on the columns. “The statue on top is just breathtaking.”
“Indeed. Did you know that the Ashmolean Museum was established in 1683? It is the oldest museum in the UK and one…”
“One of the oldest in the world, and the very first University Museum!” She added interrupting him and completing his sentence. He smiled crookedly as she continued, faking an announcer’s voice. “It houses the University’s extensive collections of art and antiquities, ranging back over four millennia. The collection was started by Elias Ashmole, with items which he had collected himself and acquired from other travelers and collectors, like John Tradescant the elder and his son, of the same name. The collection included antique coins, books, engravings, geological specimens, and zoological specimens and…”
“Ok, ok. I see you’ve read the book. And quite possibly memorized too,” they laughed, and entered the museum.
As they walked through the exhibitions Christopher’s eyes found their way to Samantha. He averted his gaze just in time for her not to notice. He smiled. She was a kid in a candy store. Her eyes were filled with wonder, as she observed the art and specimens that surrounded them. They arrived at the coin collection section, and walked toward the center exhibition case. She carefully placed her hands on the glass and leaned over it. He followed her example and they looked down at the array of old century coins displayed. She walked along the case, looking at the diversity, her hands gliding over the glass as she moved. Their fingers briefly touched over the surface, and warmth spread over her body. She looked at their fingers, and then at Christopher and smiled. She stepped away and walked to the exhibition on the wall behind them.
“Is it just me or is there an attraction here?” Christopher thought walking to join her by the wall. He observed her for a moment and shook his head, immediately dismissing the thought.
They continued to walk through the museum towards the book exhibition.
“No. I’m not ready for that again. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready,” he told himself, while his eyes examined her once again. When Samantha looked at him, it was as though she was looking right through him. The thought scared him. No one should see what was inside him. The sadness in his heart awakened at the thought, and he turned the other way. Although, he didn’t think he would ever be ready, he felt unsettled by her, nervous even. Unavoidably, his gaze returned to her and he caught her looking at him. She blushed, and quickly looked at the case in front of them. He smiled and turned his attention to the book that currently held hers.
“It’s so… peculiar. Beautiful. I have never seen anything like this before. Have you?” She asked, prompting him to carefully assess the book before them.
It was thick, with a wooden intricately carved cover. The front presented Celtic symbols on the four corners and in its center, it had a stunningly detailed tree also carved into the wood. The roots of the tree intertwined into a different symbol.
“It is certainly unique,” he said concluding his assessment.
“It’s more than that,” she said, while her eyes carefully took in every detail. “Don’t you feel it?” She added. “It looks so mystical. There is something about it. Almost as though it is… like it possesses some kind of ancient power. A hidden magic of some sort.”
Christopher’s eyes fell on the description below it. “It appears to be from an ancient civilization. It must have been from the leader or their guide. It says here, the journal was passed down through generations. Only for the worthy.”
The book shimmered, and slightly moved within the case at Christopher’s words. Samantha’s eyes widened, and she looked at him startled.
“Did you? Did that just? Did the book?” she stammered and grabbed him by the hand pulling him out of there.
After the museum, they decide to head to the Café Rouge and eat outside in the garden. As they walked towards the restaurant, he offered Samantha his arm and she graciously took it. She smiled at him with such an innocent smile, that it touched him.
“She’s a good friend, that’s all,” he thought and continued their walk, in silence.
“What is this? Is it possible that I might like him? It can’t be. I love Jonathan. God knows that I love him, with every single piece of me.”
The thought crossed Samantha’s mind and her eyes settled on Christopher’s face. He was a kind man, funny and respectful. She looked at her hand, remembering how it felt when their fingers touched. It had been such a small thing, yet the contact spread warmth all over her. Like the first time he held her hand at the restaurant. The only other man that had ever held her hand had been him, Jonathan… could she really forget him one day? Stop loving him? Her eyes teared up, and she got her answer. A tear ran over her cheek, and she wiped it quickly so that Christopher wouldn’t notice. Although the pain inside her when it came to Jonathan was so profound,
she knew she would never be able to forget him. She would never truly love another man.
“I will always love him.”
“And here we are!” Christopher announced as they stood by the door of the café. She chuckled, and walked in with him.
After they ordered the food, they talked about the university, the class she would be assisting him with, and the material that Maggie and the other professor had given her. Suddenly, Christopher stopped.
“Ok, I think we’ve had enough of work talk for today. We are supposed to be enjoying our holiday, remember?”
She chuckled. “I’m sorry, you are right. I’m just so excited to be here, and so passionate about all this, that I get easily carried away. It happens all the time. Sometimes I go on for so long about literature, that Jonathan literally has to cover my mouth with his hand to get me to stop,” she said beginning to laugh but immediately caught herself. She had tried so hard not to talk about him. She turned away from Christopher, blinking fast to stop herself from crying.
Christopher’s concern grew for her, as he noticed the sudden change. “Are you all right?”
Samantha took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok. I presume Jonathan is a delicate subject for you?” he asked tentatively. Her gaze returned to him, and his heart reacted to the pain in her eyes. She nodded again and closed her eyes as though to regain her composure. Yet, when she opened them again, he could see the anguish in her, the despair.
“There it is. That’s what draws me to her. She carries it too. The pain and solace, it’s the same I carry inside.”
Christopher reached for her hand and held it in his, tenderly. “So is my Abby,” he said, holding her gaze. His eyes watered.
Samantha’s stared at him confused for a moment. Yet, when she looked into his eyes, she could see the raw pain in him. She squeezed his hand, as though seeking strength from him.
“Jonathan is my best friend. We’ve known each other since we were five years old. We grew up together, and we have been virtually inseparable. We even went to Harvard together. I kind of forced him to go,” a small chuckle escaped her at the memory. “When I decided I had to go there, I told him, ‘I can’t be there without you,’” her voice broke but she continued. “You are going to have to study as hard as you can, because I need you there with me. I can’t do it without you, and I really want to do this,” we have always been there for each other. He’s the only person that knows exactly who I am, the best and worst of me. All my dreams, all my secrets, and I his…”
Chasing Time: A Love Through Time Novel Page 11