Jonathan noticed the change in her eyes, and hope like he never felt before, coursed through his body, fiercely, igniting his heart. It slammed against his chest as he leaned closer, and cradled her face with both hands, resting his forehead to hers. He closed his eyes, and desperately prayed he was right. He couldn’t lose her, not now that he had finally accepted his love for her. That had to count for something.
“Please, tell me you still love me, Sam. Please, baby. I can’t live without you. I need you, so I can breathe again. I miss you with every cell in my body. I’ve spent years fighting a battle that had already been lost since before it began. I loved you, and it scared me. I didn’t want to believe that I had found my soul mate when I was five years old, but I did. I found you, and just because that doesn’t happen to everyone, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen to me, to us. You are the one I love, the one my soul craves, needs. The reason my heart beats. You are everything, Sam. It’s you. It’s always been you. I’m yours, and I will be yours even after I die. I love you. I love you, baby. Please, say you still love me.”
Samantha shook her head slowly, trying with everything inside her to fight against his heart. Against the love that she had buried so deep inside her, that she had thought could be forgotten. Ignored.
She was wrong.
“I know you still love me, Sam. I know you do, you love me as much as I love you,” Jonathan whispered on her lips. Finding it hard to resist anymore, he needed to kiss her. Have her in his arms, so he could survive the next minute.
“Please,” he begged. His lips grazing hers as his heart screamed at him to kiss her, to make love to her.
He brushed his lips against hers. “Please,” he begged again, and placed a feather light kiss on her lips.
“Please, Sam,” one more kiss.
“Please,” another kiss.
“Please, say it,” another kiss. He felt himself losing control. He needed her.
“Do you still love me, Sam?” he placed another light kiss on her lips just as she spoke.
“Yes,” she finally answered, breathless, allowing the overwhelming truth to come out, once and for all.
Jonathan’s eyes snapped opened, and he pulled back looking at her stunned. His hands still cradled her face while his heart slammed against his chest, fiercely. Had he really heard her say yes? He searched her eyes once more. He needed to see it in her eyes.
Samantha opened her eyes, and different kind of tears escaped her. “I love you, Jonathan,” she whispered, looking into his eyes.
The control Jonathan was holding onto snapped, he brought her face to him and his lips crashed against hers. He claimed them, as he had dreamed of doing for so long. The kiss was desperate and overwhelming, full of need. He held her in his arms, pulling her to him, and pressing her to his body as close as he could manage. She looped her arms around his neck, kissing him back. All the love, and need that had been repressed for so many years, exploded out of her. His heart burst inside his chest as they kissed. He stood up, holding her tightly to him, and laid her down on the bed, not allowing his lips to lift from hers, for even one second.
Samantha held on to him and kissed him with all the love, need, and pain that she had carried with her for so long. The love she felt for him, was stronger than anything she had ever felt. It overwhelmed her, and controlled every inch of her. He was everything to her too, and she couldn’t ignore that anymore. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore. Jonathan’s heart wouldn’t allow her to.
“No!” a part of Samantha cried inside her. The part of her that loved Christopher, had flourished with him, and healed because of him. The piece of her, that had promised to return to him. Christopher’s heart fought to keep beating but Jonathan’s love was too strong. He had fought his demons not to lose her, broke down all the walls he had built over the years for her, for the love they shared, and she needed him.
A tear slid down her cheek as Christopher’s heart became weak, sinking into the depths of her, until it stopped beating.
“I love you,” Jonathan whispered on her lips, and claimed them once again. He kissed her, desperately trying to make up for all the hurt he had caused her. With all the love he had finally set free, with all the need, with all the want, the longing, the anguish, and despair… even the pain.
Jonathan’s lips finally left Samantha’s, and he lifted his hand to her face. The back of his fingers, gently caressed her cheek. The emotion in his eyes so powerful, that pierced through her.
“I love you,” he said again.
“I love you too,” she whispered, and a faint smile curved his lips.
“Let me be the one to love you, baby. Let me love you, please.”
She lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. His eyes closed, instantly reveling in the feel of her touch. Her hand settled on his neck and she pulled him to her, kissing him. With those words their kisses changed. They became slow and sensual, loving and worshipping all at once. His lips brushed against hers then pulled back. They returned, grazing them again and left her, her lips parted, her head lifting off the bed seeking their touch. He leaned in and licked the edge of her lips slowly, tasting them while his breath fanned the trail. He pulled away again. She whimpered and opened her eyes. They were glazed over by yearning and love. The sight of her in his arms, wanting him this way, sent a rush of desire through him.
His body had long prepared to love her. Since the second their lips had touched, he had hardened for her, ready to show her the depth of his love. Every inch of him was ready to love her. He lowered his head to hers and closed his lips on hers. Lingering, as he savored the moment. He slowly broke the kiss, their lips clinging to each other. His lips parted again and he took her bottom lip and sucked it, grazing it with his teeth as he pulled away. Then the top. Angling his head he deepened the kiss as her tongue touched his, destroying all reason.
Samantha whimpered on his lips once again, and moved under him while his hands caressed her back. Her body slid against him, in a way that made him shudder. Jonathan’s hands began to move down on her, caressing her while they traveled over her body. Reaching the hem of her dress he pulled it up, guiding it off of her. Her arms and back lifted as he pulled it over her head. She looked into his eyes detaching from everything that did not contain him, because in this moment, her heart, her body, even every thought in her mind belonged to him.
Jonathan’s eyes settled on her face as her dress fell on the floor. He let his fingers trace every inch of it. Her brows, her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her lips and he kissed them with tenderness. His fingers caressed her golden strands as they rested on her shoulders and arms. They slid through her hair, from her scalp to her neck. Cradling the back of her neck, he pulled her to him and lowered his lips to hers stopping a few inches away. Pulling him by the shirt, she kissed him. He smiled on her lips, and opened his eyes, his thumb caressing her cheek.
“You were always so beautiful, but you have become such a stunning woman. I could spend my days just looking at you,” he lowered her head to the pillow once again, his hand sliding slowly from the back of her neck, to the front, tracing her collarbone with his fingers, and then her shoulder. His fingers continued down the length of her arm all the way down to her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it, welcoming the love flowing through him. He placed her hand on top of his heart.
“Yours,” he said smiling. His hand returned to her body, caressing it as his eyes followed.
Her chest rose and fell harshly with her labored breathing. Responding to his touch. He wanted to savor this moment, make her feel everything a thousand times more. Samantha had always had a sensitive body. To touch, to heat or cold, she felt things intensely, and he knew exactly how to touch her, to make her experience heaven. He placed a soft kiss right below her ear, and nuzzled the curve of her neck, trailing kisses to her chest. “I love you,” he whispered on her skin, and lifted his head. His gaze focused on the lace of her bra, his fingers traced the intricate pattern fro
m the strap, to her breasts, then to her sides. Samantha arched her body to him, while his hands slid to her back to release her bra, the tip of his fingers grazing her skin as they came back around.
Jonathan lowered the straps from her shoulders, guiding the bra off of her and his eyes took in the perfection of her breasts, loving the way they rose and fell with her labored breathing. A delicious chill ran down his spine as he admired them. Her nipples were a work of art, her whole body was. He nuzzled her breasts, taking in the feel of her skin against his cheek. She whimpered, holding his shoulders fiercely, and arching her back to him once again. He brushed his lips over her nipple slowly. His upper lip first, then his bottom lip, forming a full circle. She moaned, and her hands trembled on his shoulders. He smiled with his eyes still closed. His lips left her skin and his hands continued down her body. His fingertips gently traced the edge of the lace garter belt around her hips, across her belly and down her thighs.
Samantha couldn’t think anymore. She could barely control her breathing. All she could do was feel him. His love, his heart… Jonathan loved her, he loved her and every kiss he gave her, every caress, every single touch was a testament of that. She couldn’t rationalize the sensations she was experiencing in his hands, she was in heaven with him. His fingers traced the length of the garter clips attached to her thigh-high stockings, and he unhooked them on the front. His fingers gently caressed her inner thighs, sliding around her legs and unhooking the garter on the back of her thighs. Samantha’s legs trembled, and she moaned gripping the bed. Jonathan was no longer in her reach. Gliding down her legs, his hands reached her leather boots, and he unzipped them slowly, pulling them off her feet. He looked at her, and his body, his heart, his soul responded to the sight.
“I love you,” he whispered once again, sliding his fingers inside the band of her stockings, at her inner thigh. Samantha shuddered at his tenderness.
“Now, how do I shut you up?” she said, breathless, while he began to take the stockings off. His fingers grazed her skin on their way down.
Jonathan chuckled. “I’m sure you can find a few ways.”
His lips created a trail of kisses along her skin, her foot, her calves, her knees, and her thighs. His eyes closed as his lips touched her skin, the intensity of his love for her unraveling him with every kiss. He licked the delicate skin of her inner thigh, and nuzzled her on his way up until his teeth reached the lace band of her thong. She moaned again, and it pained him that his lips weren’t on hers to drink her moans in. He tugged at the thong with his teeth, bringing it down. Her hips lifted off the bed, allowing him to pull it off her body. His hands caressed her legs on their way up, and his eyes followed, admiring every inch of them. He kissed her inner thigh, sucking it lightly on each side, and her legs moved for him. Inviting him closer.
Samantha’s breathing was coming in short pants as he kissed her skin. God, he was driving her crazy. She couldn’t take it anymore. It was delicious torture what he was putting her through. Every touch, every kiss was turning her into nothing. She needed him to love her. She needed to feel him in the most remote corners of her soul. She needed him to make love to her. She opened her lips to tell him, to beg him, and a deep moan escaped her instead. His lips had finally reached the most sensitive part of her. He nibbled at her skin, and licked her as though she was the most exquisite thing he had ever tasted. She moaned again, and her back arched. He had barely touched her, and she was already near the edge. Her body had been ready for him the second his lips said, I love you. It was Jonathan kissing her, her Jonathan loving her, professing his love to her, and caressing her in the most intimate ways. Ways she had only dreamed of, wished for, longed for. His lips moved lightly on her, and her head tilted back as the wave of undiluted pleasure rippled through her. Her whole body began to shake as she was pushed of the edge, and into a glorious abyss. She had never experienced anything close to this. Love had never felt like this. She kept her eyes closed as she calmed down, trying to breathe even though his lips continued to drive her crazy.
Jonathan drank from her body until there was nothing left to give. He nibbled her skin, gently tugging at it with his teeth, and she moaned once again for him. Her body still shook from the pleasure he had unleashed in her. He savored her beautiful sensitive skin one last time, and began kissing his way up her body. He tried to take a deep breath but he was as affected by the experience as much she was. His ragged breathing wasn’t enough to bring air into his lungs. His body ached for her. He needed her in a way he never thought possible. Every inch of his skin was burning for her. Begging for a relief only she could provide. The throbbing in him increased, robbing him of the little breath he had managed to obtain. The desire for her was blinding. He needed to be inside her, feel her warmth wrapping around him. He needed to make Samantha his, like it was supposed to happen all along. Like it had been meant for them. His lips closed over her nipple, as he finally allowed himself to taste it, the feel of it as he sucked it, sent a surge of need through him, making him jerk yet again. He moaned on her nipple, at the same time that she moaned for him. Her hands reached him, and tugged at the hem of his sweater. He pulled away from her and lifted it off his body. Her hands caressed his chest, making every single muscle on him contract for her. He kissed her, while her hand traveled down his abs, and slipped inside his jeans, taking hold of him firmly. Jonathan moaned on her lips, when her grip tightened on him. He unbuttoned his jeans hastily, and pushed them down his legs until they fell on the floor. He laid his body on top of hers. Her legs wrapped around him, but she didn’t let go off him. Her hand moved deliciously on him, while he kissed her. He massaged her right breast, caressing her nipple, and their moans mingled in their kiss. Lowering his hips, he leaned against her. Her hand let go of him and he shifted, positioning himself at her entrance.
“I love you,” he whispered, taking her into his arms. He held her as tightly to him, as he could manage. He had dreamed of making love to her for the past five years, of kissing her, and feeling every inch of her naked body under his. His hips slowly pushed forward, and he slid into her smoothly. He felt her welcome him, adjust to him, and wrap around him, tightly. A deep moan escaped him, mixing with hers, while the raw, overwhelming need and passion exploded inside them. He kissed her lips, swallowing her moans, until they became swollen. His body curled around her, rocking into her as he finally made her his.
Jonathan held her tightly in his arms, while he loved her, gently cradling her. So lightly that he was barely touching her, yet he was completely and permanently a part of her. He loved her as though she was the most precious, and delicate treasure he could have ever hoped to have in his arms. Because she was, she was precious to him. Special, fragile and he never wanted to hurt her again. He would do whatever was necessary for her not to hurt, he would give his all to her, because she owned him, his soul was hers, his heart was hers, his love was hers, forever.
All Samantha could feel were moments inside the intensity of what she was experiencing in his arms. Everything appeared to be in slow motion, while he loved her. She moaned when his hands were on her once more, claiming her. Her body was coming alive with him, for him and she felt renewed, reborn. She felt complete, for the first time in five years she felt complete.
They loved each other, becoming broken yet whole, exposed yet safe, no more walls to hide them, no more distance between them, no more lies separating them, no more holding back.
*
“Thank you,” Jonathan said, resting his head on Samantha’s chest, listening to her heartbeat while they lay on her bed. Their bodies barely covered by the sheets.
She frowned. “For what?”
He lifted his head looking into her eyes and kissed her softly. “For loving me. For showing me what true love is, and forcing me to accept it. If it wasn’t for you, I would still be lost.”
She kissed him, feeling the impact of his words in every part of her soul. Shifting his body he laid on top of her, kissing her. She rested
her forehead to his, keeping her eyes closed.
“I like this, being in your arms, laying this close to you, and your body resting against mine. It feels as though we could easily melt into each other,” she opened her eyes, and found him admiring her.
He smiled. “I had definitely underestimated the advantages of a twin sized bed.”
Samantha laughed, holding him closer as he placed two small kisses on her forehead and rested his forehead to hers once again. He closed his eyes. Her soft body felt amazing against his hard one.
“Mmm, you are driving me crazy, Sam. Making me lose every bit of sanity I have ever had.”
She smiled. “Likewise.”
Jonathan’s eyes roamed her face, and he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, she closed her eyes, reveling in the feel. “I love you, Sam. I have always loved you, and I will love you until my last breath. I’m yours.”
She kissed him, and her eyes teared up at the emotion in his words, and then smiled. “All of you?”
He smiled, tenderly. “Yes.”
She traced his lips with the tip of her fingers. “These?”
“Yours.”
She caressed his neck, and his eyes closed, lost in her touch. “And this?”
“Yours.”
Her fingertips continued down to his shoulders.
“Yours.”
She traced the defined muscles of his chest, then his arms.
“Yours, baby.”
Samantha caressed his back, and her lips curved into a sexy smile. Her brow rose while her hands reached his butt, grazing his cheeks and squeezing firmly. He chuckled, and opened his eyes to look at her adoringly.
“That’s yours too,” Jonathan answered, then shook his head grinning as her hands followed the curve of his hips to the front of his body. He inhaled sharply as she took hold of him with both hands. He closed his eyes again, kissing her. “I’m all yours,” he whispered on her lips, and held her hand guiding it to his heart.
Her eyes watered. “I’m so tired of fighting my feelings for you, of hiding them. I can’t do it anymore. I love you, Jonathan, and I’m yours, all yours.”
Chasing Time: A Love Through Time Novel Page 22