Serenade Me: A Rockstar Romance (Rock Chamber Boys Book 3)

by Daisy Allen

  My stomach rumbles and I realize I’ve probably missed breakfast and lunch. It’s a day for room service. Room service and sex. I roll over to Marius’ side of the bed and reach for the menu on his nightstand. There’s a scrunched up newspaper on top of it, and I’m just about to push it away when I notice the headline. And the picture.

  Jez and Marius, fighting on stage.

  In front of thousands and thousands of people.

  People who had come to see them, see me.

  People who had watched me freeze on stage and then members of the same band punch each other’s lights out. Because of me.

  I scan the article.

  Oh my god. What’ve I done?

  I reread it, every word.

  I really have ruined everything.

  “Hey, what’s going on?”

  I look up, Marius is standing there in just a towel, his hair and chest still wet from the shower.

  “Have you… have you read this?” I ask him, holding out the newspaper.

  “Yes.”

  “When?”

  “Earlier this morning.”

  “And when were you going to tell me about it?”

  He just shakes his head, “Why should I have told you about it? It’s not important.”

  I can’t believe what he’s saying. “Marius – this… did you and Jez fight on stage last night?”

  “It’s not a big deal, Anca. It was just in the heat of the moment, we were worried about you when you ran off.”

  “It says people are going to ask for a refund.”

  “So what? They can fucking have it!” He comes over and tears the newspaper from my hands. “Just ignore it.”

  “Ignore it? Marius! What are you going to do about this?”

  “I’m not going to do anything!”

  “What do the rest of the guys think?”

  He squirms and looks away.

  “Marius? Have you guys discussed this at all?”

  “Look, it’s not a big deal, okay? Everyone thinks that… um, to show that we’re totally behind you, and that you’re going to bring it for the rest of the shows, maybe you should do some publicity.”

  “Fine. I’ll do it. Tell me when and where.” I have to fix this. I can’t let anything negative happen to the band because of me. Not because of me.

  “No. NO!” he yells, startling me.

  “Marius!”

  He slams his hand against the wall before turning back to me. “NO! I am not going to have them parade you around, like you have something to prove. No!”

  “Marius. It makes sense. I can do it, I don’t mind. I want to.”

  “I already told them no, Anca. You’ve been through enough. I’m not going to put any more pressure on you to perform.”

  “Don’t you think I should have a say in this?”

  “No.”

  “Marius.” I say, and I hope he can hear the warning in my voice. “Marius, you don’t get to decide this. I do.”

  “Like hell. This is my band. And you’re MY…” He stops.

  “Your what?”

  “I… you’re just mine.”

  Now it’s my turn to get angry. I get up and walk over to him, facing off. “Firstly, I’m not yours. I’m with you and I want to be with you, but I don’t belong to anyone. Not Jez, not the Maestro and not you. When are you both going to let me make my own decisions! This isn’t any different to what happened to me before, Marius! Can’t you see that?” I tear the newspaper from his hand and wave it in his face. “What kind of person do you think I am, that I wouldn’t want to fix what I caused? Do you have that little respect for me?”

  “Anca, I’m just trying to protect you.”

  “And I appreciate that. But Marius, it goes both ways. I caused this, I get to decide if I want to help or not. And I do.”

  “I said NO!”

  “Okay, I’m not kidding anymore, Marius. You need to stop treating me like a child.”

  “Anca! Do you have any idea how scared I was last night? When we came back here and you were gone? And then seeing you out there with the Maestro? I would’ve given my life to make sure you were safe. And then, to hear that he was feeding your head with all those lies again, about how amazing you are. Do you know how much it KILLED me to think that you could even believe them for a second? Now you want me to tell you to go groveling to the world just because you had a bad moment on stage? NO!”

  “Marius.” I place my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat. I love him so much in this moment for sticking up for me. For trying to protect me. “I know, I know you feel all those things, but you also have to let me make my own decisions. You know how you want the best for me? That’s how I feel about you. Your band – it’s your life. And I have affected that. And if all it takes is for me to go out there, answer some questions and play a few songs? It’s the least I can do.”

  He places his hand over mine and squeezes it gently. Dropping a soft kiss on my fingertips.

  “Anca. I said no.”

  And my heart breaks.

  “Are you done?” I ask, already knowing the answer, and dreading what’s coming next.

  He nods, his eyes on mine.

  “Then, Marius, I’m sorry, so are we.”

  I pull my hands from him and without turning back, walk out the door.

  Chapter Forty

  Marius

  She’ll be back.

  She’ll think about what I’ve said and she’ll know I’m right, and that I’m just doing it to protect her.

  She’ll be back.

  She’ll know it’s all because I love her. Because I do.

  I’ve never said it. But she knows.

  She knows, right?

  She’ll be back.

  She’ll come back and I’ll tell her then.

  Chapter Forty-one

  Anca

  The car stops by the curb and we sit for a moment, not talking, not looking at each other.

  After a few minutes, a car horn pulls us out of the silence.

  “You sure about this?” Jez asks, still not looking at me.

  “No.” I have to admit.

  “Then don’t. Stay. We’ll work it all out.”

  “I’m more sure that that’s not the right thing to do.”

  He just nods and squeezes his hands tighter around the steering wheel.

  “I’m sorry, about everything,” I say, and trying to blink the tears away.

  “Shush. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

  “I… ruined everything. You were right to keep me away.”

  “Silly Anca. Did you have a good time? While you were with us?”

  “I had the time of my life.”

  “Then stay.” He says again.

  “I can’t. I think we all need some time. Thank you for everything. For saving my life… again. I love you so much, big brother.”

  “I love you too, baby sis. Let me know how you are, okay?”

  “I will.” I push the car door open, and then stop, pulling an envelope from my pocket and hand it to Jez. “Will you…?”

  He looks at it for a moment and then sighs, taking it from my hand. “Don’t do it this way. Talk to him. I mean, I know he’s been an ass, to both of us. But… he doesn’t deserve this.”

  “He deserves kindness. This is what this is.”

  I lean over and press a kiss to Jez’s cheek.

  “Go out there and kill it, big bro. I’ll be watching.”

  “Creepy.”

  I give him a weak laugh.

  “Go, get outta here. Your life’s waiting.” He says. And it makes it even harder to leave.

  I close the door behind me, and run into the airport, before I forget that I’m a big girl now, and need to grow up.

  Even if the only thing I want is my big brother’s arms around me, telling me everything is going to be okay.

  ***

  Dear Marius,

  Do you remember the day we first met?

  Not in the bar, b
ut at Guildhall. You were 18, I was 13. The four of you were running around the yard like a bunch of hyper gorillas, bellowing and grunting. Then the school bell rang and we all had to assemble in the yard. For a concert. A performance by you guys, one of your last. But the first I’d ever seen.

  I couldn’t believe that the same loons tearing up the soccer field were now creating this exquisite sound. You had everyone raptured.

  After you’d finished, I’d come up to Jez to tell him how good it was, you came running up behind him, jumping up on his back, and you’d looked at me and said, “Whoa, your eyes are a wicked color. Are you a witch?”

  Did I ever tell you that story since we’ve been together? That even then you’d accused me of my wiccan tendencies.

  It’s not surprising, eight years on, I still think that you are capable of magic as well.

  Not just on the stage, but in my life.

  I don’t have to tell you again, that without you, I don’t know where I’d be, who I am.

  You gave me that, by giving me a sense of being again.

  And part of that, my sweet Marius, is letting me discover where I want to go and who I want to be, from here. And I need to do that, away from you. Because I could lose myself in you and your protection for a long time. But then who would I be when it came time to finally emerge from that cocoon.

  So, let me go, please.

  Give me, give us, all of us, the time to heal. We’ve been through a lot. Broken friendship, betrayals and even a kidnapping! We need time.

  You need time to heal with Jez, as do I.

  And we need time to think about what we are to each other. And how we can best complement each other, and not destroy.

  You have my heart, Marius.

  Keep it safe for me.

  Your Anca.

  Chapter Forty-two

  Marius

  One Month Later

  She didn’t come back.

  I waited. But she never walked through the hotel door again.

  Not once to say she’d forgiven me. Not once to say she was wrong. Not even once to say goodbye.

  I really did think she’d come back.

  But the day turned into night. And when I woke up, it was still just me in the bed.

  So I got up and pretended like my life was just as it always had been. One day after the other, without her.

  One night after the other, reading and rereading the letter she’d had Jez give to me.

  “What is this?” I’d asked him, when he’d handed it to me.

  “I don’t know, man. She… she wanted me to give it to you.”

  Given it to him, when? When had he seen her? “When? Where is she?”

  “She’s gone. She’s gone for now,” he’d said. And nothing more.

  “When is she coming back?”

  “I don’t know, man. Maybe never. I don’t know.”

  “Jez… please. I have to know.” I’d pleaded with him.

  “I know. I’m sorry. But, it’s what she wanted.”

  “Tell me where she is, Jez. Fucking hell, don’t pull this big brother crap on me right now.”

  He’d patted me on the shoulder and pointed to the letter. “Just read the letter. I’m sorry, man. I really am.” And walked away.

  They found the Maestro a few days after we left Nice. He was still following the tour bus, thinking Anca was still with us and was caught skulking around the parking lot by one of the crew. He was armed. The police have no doubt that with all the evidence we have against him, he’ll be put away for a long time. I thought then that she would come back and join us, at least to be around people who could support her through the legal proceedings, but Jez hired her a lawyer who took care of everything on her side, and she never came back.

  And every time I asked where she was and how I could get in contact with her, the answer was the same - read the letter. Meaning, give her space.

  ***

  Today is the last concert on the tour and it goes by without a hitch. Why shouldn’t it? We could do it blindfolded. Cadence filled in as guest performer for the last week of the tour. And after today’s tour wrap up party, she and Sebastian will fly back to Australia for a few weeks while she sees out the school term, and he can stay home and pretend to be a kept man for once.

  The crew is packing up all our touring equipment as I sit here, watching our stage life get put away in trunks and trucks until the next time we’re on the road. Hundreds of lights and sound equipment. Music stands and cables. Thousands and thousands of feet of cables. Where did they all come from? It’s somewhat depressing watching it all get put away to gather dust after months of use.

  “Hey,” Cadence says, coming over and sits on an equipment trunk next to me. She hands me a beer and we clink bottle necks.

  “Hey.”

  “Watching life pass you by?” she asks.

  “Feels like it. Who knew there was so much… stuff? What happened to the dream of it being just four guys and our instruments, playing whatever the hell we wanted, to whoever the hell wanted to listen to it?”

  “What happened was a lot of ‘whoevers’ wanted to listen to the ‘whatevers’ you were playing and willing to pay a lot for the privilege. It’s a good thing. Look-” she points to the tens of people working, “You’re keeping all these people in work.”

  “Try not being reasonable for once.” I frown at her, and she just laughs.

  “I can give that a try, how ‘bout this- isn’t it time you get off your sulky ass?”

  “Dude. Reasonable, not mean.”

  “Sorry. How are you doing?”

  “I’m okay. I miss her.”

  “Fair.”

  “And I wish I could talk to her.”

  “What would you say?”

  I pick at the bottle label, running through the words I’ve practiced in my head for the last two weeks.

  “Not much. Just this. ‘I was wrong.’”

  Cadence just nods, but doesn’t say anything.

  “I was wrong, to think that I knew what was best for her, and not listen to what she wanted.”

  “What about the Jez thing?”

  I shrug. “I can’t help that I fell in love with his little sister. I just can’t. And I can’t change it, and I wouldn’t. I think he and I are okay now, but maybe it’s because she’s not here and he can put it behind him. But I can’t make any promises that when… if she comes back, I’m not going to do everything I can in my power to get her back. I think that Jez sees that it wasn’t just a fling. We’re meant to be.”

  She smiles and leans her head on my shoulder. “My Mazzy, all growed up.”

  I laugh, “Yeah, it took a punch to the face and a knee to the dongleberries to make it happen.”

  She sits up and hands me piece of paper. I just look at it, confused.

  “Those things you just said to me, it’s time to go tell her. This is where she’s staying.”

  I stare at her open-mouthed. No one has told me anything about where I can find her for the last month.

  “Wha-… how?”

  “Jez gave it to me.”

  “What? When?”

  “A few days ago. He hasn’t seen her since she left either, but they e-mail now and then. He told me to give it to you, when I thought you were ready. You know what this means, right?”

  “You think I’m mature and old?”

  “No!” She shakes her head. “It means… you have his blessing. He wouldn’t tell you where she is, if he wasn’t okay with it.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I guess I better…”

  “Go. It’s time you guys buried that rusty hatchet.”

  I give her a big hug and a kiss on her cheek, thankful for her in my life.

  “Oi! That’s my ball and chain! Get your own!” Sebastian yells from the stage where he’s getting in the way of the roadies.

  “I’m trying, trust me!” I yell back.
>
  “Oi, LimpTits!” I call out, and Jez pokes his head out from backstage.

  “What do you want, maggotsack?”

  I hold up the piece of paper, waving it for him to see and tilt my head.

  “Well, are you fucking coming or not?”

  Chapter Forty-three

  Anca

  I can smell the field of grass, even before I see it.

  Or maybe I’m just imagining it as I walk down along this narrow road, that when I turn the corner, there it will be. A thick, decadent carpet of green laid out for me, ready for me to take my shoes off, and dance barefoot atop of its luscious leaves. But I can’t indulge for too long. The church bell will ring, and like Fraulein Maria, I’ll be gathering my things and running to class. Late, almost always late.

  So, no dancing today, I tell myself. I have so much to do before the kids arrive, I want to give them a big surprise, something I’ve prepared for them over the weekend.

  I’ve only been back in Romania, here in Busteni, the small mountain village I grew up in, for three weeks, but it feels like I haven’t been away at all.

  The classroom I teach in now is the same class in which I learned my own scales. The field of green in front of the school I dance in, it’s the same I skinned my knees on so many years ago. How could I be away for so much of my life? And yet never feel like I ever left.

  I was so lucky that my old school accepted my offer to teach a basic music program until the summer, just to see if it would be something the students and parents welcomed. No fee, of course. I just wanted to contribute something to the community.

  It didn’t take long for the other teachers and students to fully support the program. It’s a small school with only just over 200 elementary aged students, but the region isn’t rich and it had been years since they had offered music as a subject. It pained me to see how much the children lacked music education. What a waste – all those years, starved of the pleasure of music.