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As You Like It

Page 11

by William Shakespeare


  And so am I for Phoebe.

  PHOEBE    And I for Ganymede.

  ORLANDO    And I for Rosalind.

  ROSALIND    And I for no woman.

  SILVIUS    It is to be all made of faith and service81,

  And so am I for Phoebe.

  PHOEBE    And I for Ganymede.

  ORLANDO    And I for Rosalind.

  ROSALIND    And I for no woman.

  SILVIUS    It is to be all made of fantasy,

  All made of passion and all made of wishes,

  All adoration, duty, and observance88,

  All humbleness, all patience and impatience,

  All purity, all trial, all observance,

  And so am I for Phoebe.

  PHOEBE    And so am I for Ganymede.

  ORLANDO    And so am I for Rosalind.

  ROSALIND    And so am I for no woman.

  To Rosalind

  PHOEBE    If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

  To Phoebe

  SILVIUS    If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

  ORLANDO    If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

  ROSALIND    Who do you speak to? ‘Why blame you me to love

  you?’

  ORLANDO    To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.

  ROSALIND    Pray you no more of this. ’Tis like the howling

  of Irish wolves against the moon.—

  To Silvius

  I will help you if I can.—

  To Phoebe

  I would love you, if I could.

  To all

  Tomorrow meet me all together.—

  To Phoebe

  I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I’ll

  be married tomorrow.—

  To Silvius

  I will content you, if what pleases you contents you,

  and you shall be married tomorrow.—

  To Orlando

  As you love Rosalind, meet.—

  To Silvius

  As you love Phoebe, meet.— And as I love no

  woman, I’ll meet. So fare you well:

  I will satisfy108 you, if ever I satisfied man, and you

  To Orlando

  shall be married tomorrow.—

  I have left you commands.

  SILVIUS    I’ll not fail116, if I live.

  PHOEBE    Nor I.

  ORLANDO    Nor I.

  Exeunt

  Act 5 Scene 3

  running scene 11 continues

  Enter Clown [Touchstone] and Audrey

  TOUCHSTONE    Tomorrow is the joyful day, Audrey: tomorrow

  will we be married.

  AUDREY    I do desire it with all my heart, and I hope it is no

  dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world4. Here

  come two of the banished duke’s pages.

  Enter two Pages

  FIRST PAGE    Well met, honest6 gentleman.

  TOUCHSTONE    By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and a song.

  They sit

  SECOND PAGE    We are for you. Sit i’th’middle.

  FIRST PAGE    Shall we clap into’t roundly, without hawking9 or

  spitting or saying we are hoarse, which are the only10 prologues

  to a bad voice?

  SECOND PAGE    I’faith, i’faith, and both in a tune12, like two gypsies

  on a horse.

  Song

  It was a lover and his lass,

  With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

  That o’er the green cornfield did pass

  In the spring-time, the only pretty ring-time17,

  When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.

  Sweet lovers love the spring.

  And therefore take20 the present time,

  With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

  For love is crownèd with the prime22

  In spring-time, etc.23

  Between the acres of the rye,

  With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

  These pretty country folks would lie

  In spring-time, etc.

  This carol28 they began that hour,

  With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

  How that a life was but a flower

  In spring-time, etc.

  TOUCHSTONE    Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no

  great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untunable33.

  FIRST PAGE    You are deceived, sir: we kept time, we lost not our

  time.

  TOUCHSTONE    By my troth, yes: I count it but time lost to hear

  such a foolish song. God buy you, and God mend your voices!

  Come, Audrey.

  Exeunt

  Act 5 Scene 4

  running scene 12

  Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, Celia

  DUKE SENIOR    Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy

  Can do all this that he hath promisèd?

  ORLANDO    I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not,

  As those that fear they hope and know they fear.

  Enter Rosalind, Silvius and Phoebe

  ROSALIND    Patience once more, whiles our compact is urged5:

  To Duke Senior

  You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, you will

  bestow her on Orlando here?

  DUKE SENIOR    That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

  To Orlando

  ROSALIND    And you say, you will have her, when I bring her?

  ORLANDO    That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

  To Phoebe

  ROSALIND    You say, you’ll marry me, if I be willing?

  PHOEBE    That will I, should I die the hour after.

  ROSALIND    But if you do refuse to marry me,

  You’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?

  PHOEBE    So is the bargain.

  To Silvius

  ROSALIND    You say, that you’ll have Phoebe, if she will?

  SILVIUS    Though to have her and death were both one thing.

  ROSALIND    I have promised to make all this matter even18.

  Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter,

  You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter.

  Keep you your word, Phoebe, that you’ll marry me,

  Or else refusing me, to wed this shepherd.

  Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her

  If she refuse me. And from hence I go,

  To make these doubts all even.

  Exeunt Rosalind and Celia

  DUKE SENIOR    I do remember in this shepherd boy

  Some lively touches of my daughter’s favour27.

  ORLANDO    My lord, the first time that I ever saw him

  Methought he was a brother to your daughter:

  But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,

  And hath been tutored in the rudiments31

  Of many desperate32 studies by his uncle,

  Whom he reports to be a great magician,

  Enter Clown [Touchstone] and Audrey

  Obscurèd in the circle34 of this forest.

  JAQUES    There is, sure, another flood toward35, and these

  couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very

  strange beasts, which in all tongues37 are called fools.

  TOUCHSTONE    Salutation and greeting to you all!

  JAQUES    Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the motley-39

  minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He

  hath been a courtier, he swears.

  TOUCHSTONE    If any man doubt that, let him put me to my

&n
bsp; purgation. I have trod a measure43, I have flattered a lady, I

  have been politic with my friend, smooth44 with mine enemy, I

  have undone three tailors, I have had four quarrels, and like45

  to have fought one.

  JAQUES    And how was that ta’en up47?

  TOUCHSTONE    Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon

  the seventh cause.

  JAQUES    How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.

  DUKE SENIOR    I like him very well.

  TOUCHSTONE    God ’ild you, sir, I desire you of the like52. I press in

  here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives53, to

  swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds and

  blood breaks55. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but

  mine own, a poor humour56 of mine, sir, to take that that no

  man else will. Rich honesty57 dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor

  house, as your pearl in your foul58 oyster.

  DUKE SENIOR    By my faith, he is very swift and sententious59.

  TOUCHSTONE    According to the fool’s bolt, sir, and such dulcet60

  diseases.

  JAQUES    But, for the seventh cause. How did you find the

  quarrel on the seventh cause?

  TOUCHSTONE    Upon a lie seven times removed — bear your body

  more seeming, Audrey — as65 thus, sir: I did dislike the cut of

  a certain courtier’s beard. He sent me word, if I said his

  beard was not cut well, he was in the mind67 it was: this is

  called the Retort Courteous. If I sent him word again it was

  not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please

  himself: this is called the Quip Modest. If again it was not

  well cut, he disabled71 my judgement: this is called the Reply

  Churlish. If again it was not well cut, he would answer, I

  spake not true: this is called the Reproof Valiant. If again it

  was not well cut, he would say I lied: this is called the

  Countercheck Quarrelsome: and so to the Lie Circumstantial75

  and the Lie Direct.

  JAQUES    And how oft did you say his beard was not well

  cut?

  TOUCHSTONE    I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial,

  nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct, and so we measured80

  swords and parted.

  JAQUES    Can you nominate82 in order now the degrees of the

  lie?

  TOUCHSTONE    O sir, we quarrel in print84, by the book, as you have

  books for good manners. I will name you the degrees: The

  first, the Retort Courteous: the second, the Quip Modest: the

  third, the Reply Churlish: the fourth, the Reproof Valiant:

  the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome: the sixth, the Lie

  with Circumstance: the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these you

  may avoid but the Lie Direct, and you may avoid that too,

  with an ‘if.’ I knew when seven justices could not take up91 a

  quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of

  them thought but of an ‘if,’ as, ‘If you said so, then I said so’,

  and they shook hands and swore brothers94. Your ‘if’ is the

  only peacemaker. Much virtue in ‘if’.

  JAQUES    Is not this a rare96 fellow, my lord? He’s as good at

  anything and yet a fool.

  DUKE SENIOR    He uses his folly like a stalking-horse98 and under

  the presentation99 of that he shoots his wit.

  Enter Hymen, Rosalind and Celia. Still music

  HYMEN    Then is there mirth100 in heaven,

  When earthly things made even101

  Atone102 together.

  Good duke, receive thy daughter,

  Hymen from heaven brought her,

  Yea, brought her hither,

  That thou mightst join her hand with his

  Whose heart within his bosom is.

  To Duke Senior

  ROSALIND    To you I give myself, for I am yours.

  To Orlando

  To you I give myself, for I am yours.

  DUKE SENIOR    If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

  ORLANDO    If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.

  PHOEBE    If sight and shape112 be true,

  Why then, my love adieu!

  To Duke Senior

  ROSALIND    I’ll have no father, if you be not he.—

  To Orlando

  I’ll have no husband, if you be not he.—

  To Phoebe

  Nor ne’er wed woman, if you be not she.

  HYMEN    Peace, ho! I bar117 confusion:

  ’Tis I must make conclusion

  Of these most strange events.

  Here’s eight that must take hands

  To join in Hymen’s bands121,

  If truth holds true contents.—

  To Orlando and Rosalind

  You and you no cross123 shall part;—

  To Oliver and Celia

  You and you are heart in heart.—

  To Phoebe

  You to his love must accord125,

  Or have a woman to your lord126.—

  To Touchstone and Audrey

  You and you are sure127 together,

  As the winter to foul weather.—

  Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,

  Feed yourselves with questioning130,

  That reason wonder may diminish

  How thus we met, and these things finish.

  Song

  Wedding is great Juno’s133 crown,

  O, blessèd bond of board and bed134!

  ’Tis Hymen peoples135 every town,

  High wedlock then be honourèd:

  Honour, high honour and renown,

  To Hymen, god of every town!

  To Celia

  DUKE SENIOR    O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me!

  Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree.

  To Silvius

  PHOEBE    I will not eat my word, now thou141 art mine,

  Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine142.

  Enter Second Brother [Jaques de Bois]

  JAQUES DE BOIS    Let me have audience for a word or two:

  I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,

  That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.

  Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day

  Men of great worth resorted to this forest,

  Addressed a mighty power148, which were on foot,

  In his own conduct149, purposely to take

  His brother here and put him to the sword:

  And to the skirts of this wild wood he came;

  Where, meeting with an old religious man,

  After some question with him, was converted

  Both from his enterprise and from the world154,

  His crown bequeathing to his banished brother,

  And all their lands restored to them again

  That were with him exiled. This to be true,

  I do engage158 my life.

  DUKE SENIOR    Welcome, young man.

  Thou offer’st fairly160 to thy brothers’ wedding:

  To one his lands withheld, and to the other

  A land itself at large162, a potent dukedom.

  First, in this forest, let us do those ends163

  That here were well begun and well begot:

  And after, every165 of this happy number

  That have endured shrewd166 days and nights with us

  Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune,

  According to the measure of their states168.

  Meantime, forget this new-fall’n
169 dignity

  And fall into our rustic revelry.

  Play, music! And you, brides and bridegrooms all,

  With measure heaped in joy, to th’measures172 fall.

  JAQUES    Sir, by your patience173. If I heard you rightly,

  The duke hath put on a religious life

  And thrown into neglect the pompous175 court?

  JAQUES DE BOIS    He hath.

  JAQUES    To him will I: out of these convertites177

  There is much matter to be heard and learned.—

  To Duke Senior

  You to your former honour I bequeath,

  Your patience and your virtue well deserves it.—

  To Orlando

  You to a love that your true faith doth merit.—

  To Oliver

  You to your land and love and great allies182.—

  To Silvius

  You to a long and well-deservèd bed.—

  To Touchstone

  And you to wrangling, for thy loving voyage

  Is but for two months victualled185. So, to your pleasures.

  I am for other than for dancing measures.

  DUKE SENIOR    Stay, Jaques, stay.

  JAQUES    To see no pastime, I. What you would have

  I’ll stay to know at your abandoned cave.

  Exit

  DUKE SENIOR    Proceed, proceed.— We’ll begin these rites,

  They dance

  As we do trust they’ll end, in true delights.

  [Exeunt all but Rosalind]

  ROSALIND    It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue, but

  it is no more unhandsome193 than to see the lord the prologue.

  If it be true that good wine needs no bush194, ’tis true that a

  good play needs no epilogue. Yet to good wine they do use

  good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help

  of good epilogues. What a case197 am I in then, that am neither

  a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with198 you in the behalf

  of a good play! I am not furnished199 like a beggar, therefore to

  beg will not become me. My way is to conjure200 you, and I’ll

 

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