Stars Over Sunset Boulevard

by Susan Meissner

  When Violet was finished she slipped the letter back into her pocket and forced a smile to her lips. She raised her gaze to look at Delores.

  The woman was smiling but tears rimmed her eyes. “It doesn’t seem fair that God should withhold children from Bert and you,” she murmured. “Not fair at all.”

  Violet hesitated only a second before responding. “No. It doesn’t.”

  “Bert’s right, you know. You would make a good mother, Violet. You’ve been taking such good care of me while he’s been gone. I know it can’t be easy when you probably miss your own mother and father and wish you could spend the time that Bert is away with them.”

  A stab of equal parts longing and regret poked at Violet and she involuntarily winced. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you here alone, Delores.”

  Delores dropped the fan in her lap. She reached out her hand toward her daughter-in-law and Violet took a step forward to squeeze it.

  The two women were silent for a moment.

  Violet broke away first. She turned to head back into the kitchen. “How does bacon and eggs sound?” she called over her shoulder to Delores. “I always liked it when Mama made breakfast for supper.”

  Before Delores could answer, Violet heard footsteps coming up the walkway to the front door. She turned her head toward the sound, and on the other side of the screen door a woman in heels, a full skirt, and a flowered hat was walking toward her. The visitor was backlit by a brilliant low-lying sun, which made her facial features indistinguishable as she approached.

  But Violet would know that silhouette anywhere.

  Half a second later Audrey came to a stop at the doorstep.

  “Oh, my stars!” Violet reached for the handle on the screen door and swung it open wide.

  Even before Audrey was fully inside, she was taking Violet into her arms. “It’s so good to see you, Vi. I’ve missed you so much.” Audrey spoke the words over Violet’s shoulders.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Violet saw that Delores, curious, was staring at the beautiful stranger.

  Audrey stepped back and held Violet at arm’s length. “Let me look at you.”

  The request gave Violet a moment to study Audrey as well. She looked as lovely and enchanting as ever. Her hair was a deeper shade of brown than when Violet had last seen her. The lemon yellow, full-skirted dress was not Audrey’s usual figure-hugging sheath, but it was nevertheless eye-catching and fashionable, and accented by a boxy, short-sleeved linen jacket. Ample jewelry shimmered golden at her neck, wrists, and ears. Violet was embarrassed by the plain slacks and faded cotton blouse she was wearing, and the old kerchief of Bert’s that held her hair off her neck.

  “Marriage agrees with you,” Audrey said, smiling.

  Violet laughed nervously. “I look frightful and you know it.”

  “You look happy as a clam,” Audrey replied, her tone friendly but serious. “I can see how happy you are. It wouldn’t matter what you are wearing. I am sure Bert can’t wait to get home to you.”

  Behind them Delores had risen from her chair.

  “Delores, this is Audrey Duvall.” Violet directed Audrey’s attention to her mother-in-law. “Audrey’s a good friend of Bert’s and mine from Hollywood.”

  Delores’s eyes widened at once at the introduction with an unmistakable look of recognition. Violet couldn’t recall mentioning Audrey’s name recently to Delores. Had she? Or had she made much mention of Audrey’s occasional phone calls to the house? Violet was still pondering the look when Audrey stepped forward to clasp Delores’s hands in her own.

  “It’s so good to finally meet you, Mrs. Redmond. Bert has told me so much about you.”

  “Please. Call me Delores.” The woman’s eyes were still wide with wonder. “Very nice to meet you, too.”

  Audrey looked from Violet to Delores and then back to Violet. There was a sudden desperation in her eyes. “I hope it’s all right that I didn’t call first before coming to see you.”

  “Of course it’s all right!” Violet replied. “I would have met you at the train station, though.” And changed into something decent to receive a visitor.

  Audrey smiled in relief. “I’m so glad! And I didn’t take the train. I actually learned how to drive. I’ve got a car.” She nodded toward the screen door and a light green sedan that was visible across the street. “It’s used but it gets me around.”

  “Oh!” Violet exclaimed. “How exciting.”

  “Yes,” Audrey said, but Violet detected a sudden sad undertone. Something wasn’t quite right with Audrey. Whatever it was, it was the reason she was on Violet’s doorstep without having called first.

  “Can you stay for supper or do you have to rush right back?” Violet asked.

  Audrey’s gaze was still on her car parked across the street, but as she turned Violet saw a shimmering in Audrey’s eyes. She was holding back tears. “I don’t have to rush back.”

  Something was terribly wrong. Audrey was in some kind of trouble. Violet reached out to touch Audrey’s arm. “Perhaps you’d like to stay overnight? We’ve a guest room and we’d be happy to have you. Wouldn’t we, Delores?”

  “Of course,” Delores replied, still a bit taken aback by the afternoon’s turn of events.

  “Did you bring a suitcase, Audrey?”

  Audrey nodded and forced a smile past her pursed lips.

  “Here,” Violet said, leading Audrey away from the door, Delores, and the view of the little green car that had brought Audrey to her. “I’ll show you the guest room, and you can set down your purse and hat.”

  Audrey followed Violet down the narrow hall to the smallest of the three bedrooms, the one that years ago had been Bert’s. Remnants of his childhood still graced the walls and bookshelves—bird-watching guides, a butterfly net, photo albums, and swim-team trophies. Violet had forgotten how many little reminders of Bert’s younger years were still scattered about the room. Audrey’s gaze lingered on the mementos as she took in the room. She walked slowly to the bed, unpinned her hat, and set it on the mattress.

  “I’ll just open the window to get some fresh air in here,” Violet said, unnerved now by Audrey’s demeanor.

  “Thank you, Violet.”

  “No need to thank me. We’re glad you’re here.” Violet tugged on the window, and it shimmied upward.

  “I should have called.”

  “Nonsense. Surprises are fun.” She turned back around. Audrey was still standing at the side of the bed.

  “I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I . . . I need to get out of Hollywood for a little while.” Audrey’s gaze dropped to the hat on the bed.

  A dozen questions materialized in Violet’s head and she didn’t know which one to ask first.

  “I can be on my way in the morning if . . . if you need me to leave,” Audrey said when Violet had no response.

  Violet finally found her voice. “Audrey, what is it? What has happened?”

  For a second Audrey said nothing. Then she started to take off the linen jacket and Violet saw the rounded lump at Audrey’s waistline.

  Audrey tossed the jacket on the bed and turned to face Violet.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  TWENTY-THREE

  A grandfather clock was chiming nine o’clock as Audrey watched Violet escort her mother-in-law to her bedroom. Audrey viewed them from the sofa as they made their way with measured steps down the hallway. The tiny life inside her wriggled and she placed a hand over her swelling abdomen. She’d been with Violet and Delores for a little over a week and she couldn’t remember when she’d experienced such a tranquil time. The three of them had gone to the movies, played cards, listened to the radio, read magazines, sipped iced tea, and eaten three square meals a day.

  Violet hadn’t pressured Audrey to divulge more t
han she wanted to, which Audrey was grateful for. She hadn’t wanted to talk about how she’d managed to get herself into the same situation she had been in twice before, even though it had been different this time. Desmond wasn’t like Rafael, and she hadn’t been in an emotional abyss like she had been when she got pregnant the second time. She had naïvely hoped that Desmond would marry her even though he joked that he, like Rhett Butler, wasn’t the marrying kind. But when Broadway called, Desmond left for New York alone, telling her he would send for her later. The day he left was the day she realized his child was growing inside her. When she arrived in New York she’d planned to surprise him with the news that they were going to be parents, and nervously hoped that he would be happy and would want them to be a family. Violet’s life dream of marriage and motherhood had suddenly seemed very attractive and attainable. But two months after Desmond had arrived in Manhattan, he’d sent a telegram telling Audrey he was not going to send for her. He didn’t want her to come. He was moving on with his life, and so should she.

  Violet had been satisfied for the moment, knowing that the father of Audrey’s child didn’t want to be married or carry the responsibilities of parenthood, and didn’t even know she was carrying his baby. And Audrey had told Violet that her friends and connections back in Hollywood thought she had gone home to the farm for an extended visit because there was an illness in the family. She wasn’t in a play at the moment and didn’t have to rush back. Violet had told Audrey she could stay as long as she liked.

  “Are all Audrey’s stories about Hollywood true?” Delores now said, under the impression she was asking quietly and Audrey couldn’t hear her. But Delores’s voice carried in the small house.

  “Probably.” Violet laughed, casting a glance back at Audrey as they turned into the bedroom. “Audrey has led a very interesting life.”

  “She’s different than I imagined she’d be,” Delores said thoughtfully. “Bert always made her seem so mysterious. How long do you think she’ll stay?”

  “Well, I don’t really know, Delores,” Violet said softly.

  And then Audrey heard no more. Violet had shut the door to help Delores put on her nightgown and get into bed. Audrey couldn’t imagine what Bert might have told his mother about her, and she worried that Delores’s comment might have upset Violet. She would have to find a way to tell Violet that she had no idea Bert had ever mentioned her name to his mother. She needed Violet to be in a good mood. She had something to ask her and it wasn’t just any small thing. Audrey drew her knees up onto the sofa and curled her legs underneath her, rehearsing in her mind what she would say. Several minutes later, Violet returned to the living room.

  “I think Delores is more impressed that you shared an elevator with Charlie Chaplin than that I once got Clark Gable a cup of coffee,” Violet said to Audrey as she sat down in the armchair next to her.

  “You’re so good with Bert’s mother. It must be a tremendous relief for him to have you here.”

  “Yes, I suppose it is.”

  “I bet you can’t wait to see him again.”

  “I’m counting the days. We’ve been apart for almost four months.”

  Audrey smiled. “No doubt you’re wondering how much longer you will have to put up with me.”

  “Oh! No. Not at all.”

  Audrey reached across the corner of the coffee table and patted Violet’s knee. “You and your sweet Southern hospitality, Vi. You can’t even tell me it would be nice to know if I ever plan on leaving.” She laughed.

  Violet attempted a grin. “Well, maybe.”

  Audrey withdrew her hand and laid it across her tummy in a gentle caress. “I promise I won’t stay in your house a moment longer than you want me to. Honestly. The second you want me to go, I’ll go. But there is something I need to ask of you. I’ve been wanting to since I got here, but it’s been so nice just pretending the most troubling thing either of us has to worry about is which movie to go see.”

  Violet waited for Audrey to continue.

  “I want you to know that this time is different. I wasn’t being careless or reckless. I had begun to think maybe your dream of marriage and family was one I could have instead of mine. I thought the father of this child would want to marry me, would want us to be a family. But I know now that he doesn’t. He never wanted that. Vince thinks I should have . . . should’ve had this taken care of when I first found out I was pregnant. He knows people who would have done it. But that’s not what I wanted, Violet. I didn’t want to have this child ripped from me. This one I wanted to keep. I really did.”

  Violet’s gaze dropped to the little mound at Audrey’s middle. Her expression was difficult to read.

  “But, Violet, I know I can’t keep it,” Audrey continued. “I’ve become friends with a man who now has big plans for me. Glen Wainwright has influence. And he has money. He believes in my talent and is convinced he can make a star out of me. But not if I am an unmarried mother. And what kind of life could I ever offer this child? A child needs a mother and a father.”

  A tear started to slip down Violet’s cheek and her chest was heaving slightly as she stared at Audrey’s abdomen.

  “Violet, I’ve been thinking maybe . . . maybe you and Bert could take this child. You could adopt it and it would be yours.”

  Violet lifted her head. “What?”

  “I know you and Bert can’t have children of your own, but maybe the two of you have considered adoption and were just wondering how to go about it. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for all three of us if you and Bert adopted this child? My child.”

  Violet stared at Audrey, wordless. It was not the reaction Audrey had hoped for. There wasn’t a sound in the room aside from the ticking of the grandfather clock.

  “Have you and Bert not considered adoption? Have you not even discussed it?” Audrey asked a moment later.

  Silence.

  “Violet?”

  Then Audrey inhaled a quick breath as realization sank in. “Oh, my God. You haven’t told him.”

  Violet opened her mouth but no sound emerged.

  “I couldn’t do it,” Violet whispered a second later as two more tears slipped down her cheek. “I wanted to before we got married—I did. But it happened so fast. One minute we were just on a date, and the next we were eloping.”

  “You’ve been married for almost three years! You’re telling me he still doesn’t know?”

  “Audrey, please,” Violet pleaded, leaning forward in the armchair. “Please don’t say anything. He thinks it’s the quirky hand of fate that has kept me from getting pregnant. Some couples just can’t have children. He doesn’t blame me. Please? Please don’t tell him. I know I should’ve been honest from the beginning, but I loved him, Audrey! I didn’t want to lose him. Please, please don’t tell him.”

  Audrey could hardly believe what she was hearing. “How have you been able to keep this a secret from him? Doesn’t your family know what happened to you?”

  “My parents think he knows I can’t have children,” Violet said in a hushed tone, mindful that Delores was asleep down the hall. “My close friends back home who know the details of my surgery all think he knows.”

  “But what if they were to say something!” Audrey said, the volume of her voice rising. “What if it should come up in conversation when you’re visiting?”

  “It hasn’t! And it won’t!” Violet said in a desperate whisper. “You just don’t talk about things like that where I’m from.”

  Audrey shook her head in wonder and disappointment. “I just can’t believe you would keep this from him.”

  “It’s not what I wanted to do or planned to do. It just happened! I don’t know what to do about it! How can I tell him now?”

  “Do you honestly think Bert’s the kind of person to leave you just because you can’t give him children?” Audrey’s tone was both pleading and stern.
<
br />   “I don’t want him to think he can’t trust me!”

  “Sooner or later he will find out, Violet. You’ve got to tell him.”

  “I don’t know how!”

  Audrey stared at her friend, miserable and stricken and afraid, her world about to crumble, or so it seemed. “I will help you, Violet. We’ll do it together and I’ll be right there with you. I’ll make sure he knows that fear makes us do stupid things.”

  “It was because I loved him!” Violet said as she shook with muted sobs.

  “Sometimes fear looks like love. But they aren’t the same, Violet. You didn’t know that then. Now you do. I will make sure he knows this.”

  The room was quiet again, with just the echoing of the clock and Violet’s quiet sobs.

  “I will do that for you if you will do this for me,” Audrey said a few seconds later, her tone now resolute and controlled. “The baby will be yours and Bert’s. I’ve a lawyer friend who will draw up all the proper papers. And I won’t interfere, I promise. I just . . . I just want to be able to visit from time to time and send a birthday present once a year. I can be a good friend who doesn’t have any children of her own. I can be the child’s Auntie Audrey. He or she never has to know who I am beyond being someone who is fond of him or her, if that’s what you want.”

  Violet wiped away the tears from her face with her bathrobe sleeve.

  “Violet?” Audrey continued. “Will you do this for me?”

  “Yes,” Violet whispered.

  “And what if Bert says no?”

  Violet shook her head. “He won’t.”

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Bert’s train pulled into Union Station right on schedule, much to Violet’s relief.

  It had been Audrey’s idea to have him get off in Los Angeles and not transfer to another train for the last leg of the trip home to Santa Barbara.