Heart of Rockies 03 - More Than a Feeling

by Sara Richardson

  “Are you joining us for breakfast?” she asked, easing Thomas toward the dining room.

  “Oh.” Whew. Maybe she hadn’t seen anything. “Yeah. I’m right behind you.” He followed her across the sitting room and past the stone fireplace that rose up all the way to the vaulted ceiling.

  Everyone else was already there. Well, except for Ruby, he couldn’t help but notice. He’d been waiting to see her again for about nine hours now.

  “Good morning!” Aunt Elsie greeted the kids and wheeled Thomas to the end of the table. Most of them jumped up and ran over to give the man a hug.

  “Good to see you!”

  “So glad you’re okay!”

  “When can we sign the cast?”

  Sawyer hung back while they took turns greeting the man who’d organized this trip for them. It was obvious Thomas had earned their trust and respect over the years. And today Sawyer hoped he could fill the man’s shoes. The swimming lesson was a great start, but they’d have to trust him completely on the high ropes course.

  Brooklyn was the first one to notice him. “Sawyer!” She ran toward him, but then stopped suddenly and looked at the floor like shyness had taken over.

  His heart plummeted to his gut like a stone. What had happened to her? Why was she here? Why wasn’t she at home with a mom and dad who gave her the kind of life she deserved? He sauntered over and knelt in front of her. “Morning, Brookie.”

  At the sound of the nickname, the girl’s chin lifted, and her smile sparkled in her eyes.

  They were innocent eyes, so round and dark it made him want to protect her forever. “Are you excited for today?” he asked. “You’re gonna love the high ropes course. It’s a rush.”

  Her eyes got even wider. “Is it scary?”

  Probably not nearly as scary as some of the things she’d been through. “Not at all. Ruby and I will be there the whole time.”

  Brooklyn’s smile returned. “Where is Ruby? I’ve been waiting to see her all morning!”

  Yeah. He could relate.

  “I haven’t seen her, but I have a pretty good idea where she’s hiding.” He’d heard the pots and pans clanging in the kitchen when he’d walked in. He led Brooklyn to the table and pulled out her chair. “I’ll go check on her.”

  It took every ounce of restraint not to sprint through those kitchen doors. By the time he’d made it across the room, his heart hammered hard, sending the sting of anticipation through him. God, it’d been a long time since he’d had that feeling.

  He swung open the door and there she was, traipsing across the kitchen in cropped khaki pants and a tight green shirt that set off her hair. The rich scent of chocolate only made the scene more erotic.

  Ruby stopped mid-step, a spatula suspended midair. Damn that coy smile on her face. How was he supposed to behave when she looked at him like that—one corner of shapely lips turned up like she had a secret?

  He’d give her a secret to smile about…

  “Morning, Sawyer,” she murmured.

  And to think…she could’ve been saying that in his bed, bare shoulders sticking out from the wrinkled sheets, hair all tangled and sexy from a long night of not sleeping. Thanks a lot, Aunt Elsie. How did that woman always know when to interrupt?

  “You about ready to hit the ropes course?” he asked so he could get his mind on something else.

  Her cheeks glowed pink, making her look so alive. “Of course.” She pulled on oven mitts—who would’ve thought that could be a turn-on?—and slid a tray of massive muffins out of the oven.

  Sawyer eyed the chocolate mounds of goodness. Looked like she’d added a hearty helping of chocolate chips, too. “Those kids are going to love you.” He was in danger, too. Well past the point of danger, actually.

  “Hope so.” She pulled off the oven mitts and piled the muffins into a wicker basket.

  Fascination weighted his jaw, but he cranked it shut. After last night everything she did managed to appear seductive.

  Speaking of seductive, might be best if he mentioned that little make-out session they’d had on her porch. Had she thought about it as much him? “About last night…” What could he say? “I hope you don’t regret anything.”

  Her smile softened into shyness.

  “I definitely don’t regret it.” She gathered up the basket of muffins.

  He stepped forward, aligning his body with hers. “Then let me take you out sometime. On a real date. Dinner. Wine.” And then wherever else that led them…

  “You’re moving to Denver,” she reminded him quietly.

  “Which is only four hours away. Not like it’s across the country or anything.” Sure, it wasn’t ideal to do the long-distance thing, but they could still see each other whenever he came back to visit…

  “You’ll find a whole new life there, Sawyer,” Ruby said through a sigh. “Isn’t that what you want?”

  It had been. His life had seemed pretty shitty a couple of months ago when he’d made the decision. “That doesn’t mean I can’t hold on to things from my life here.” He would hold on to his family. Lily. He would still find a way to be there for them, to stay connected.

  Ruby’s smile faded as she skirted past him. “We should go. Don’t want to keep the kids waiting.”

  Oh, no she didn’t. She wasn’t going to run from him again. He stepped in front of her, leaving distance, but also showing her he wouldn’t let her off that easy. “When can we go out?”

  She took three steps, her hips swaying, until she stood directly in front of him, her lips inches from his. “Let’s get through today. Then we’ll talk about it.”

  He forced his shoulders into a shrug. “Fair enough.” Damn, it was hard not to push her. But he wouldn’t. Instead Sawyer let her lead the way out to the dining room, taking in the view of her backside.

  The excited chatter silenced the second they walked in, and Sawyer wasn’t sure if it was the chocolate or the way Ruby seemed to light up a room. The loving expression on her face as she greeted the kids left no doubt that she adored them.

  “Morning, everyone,” she said, that slight country accent twanging. She set the basket on the table.

  “Are those chocolate?” Javon demanded, helping himself to one of the muffins.

  The rest of the kids followed suit, snatching up the muffins until the basket was empty.

  “Double chocolate,” she informed them with a devious smile. “I added extra chocolate chips.”

  “Delish!” The kid eyed her, his gaze lowering down her body. “You’re pretty delish, too,” he said with that boyish smirk of his. Sawyer was tempted to tell Javon to lay off, but he had to admit, the kid had good taste.

  Ruby laughed. “And you can have another muffin.”

  “These are the best!” A full bite muffled Brooklyn’s compliment.

  “Don’t think anyone’s ever baked me a muffin before,” Neveah said with a smear of chocolate across her chin. “I didn’t even know you could make ’em chocolate!”

  “I can make anything chocolate,” Ruby answered with a tempting lift of her eyebrows.

  It was the first time since he’d met them that Sawyer had seen them laugh. In less than twenty-four hours, Ruby had completely won them over.

  She sat in the chair next to Brooklyn, tipping her head close to the young girl’s and saying something that made them both crack up. From across the room Sawyer watched the woman pour out her warmth and generosity on those kids.

  And he had never wanted any woman as much as he wanted her right then.

  * * *

  Ruby gawked up at the platform that had to be looming a good seventy-five feet above her head. It teetered precariously on top of a pole that had stakes poking out all the way up the sides like little hairs.

  Shit. All of a sudden she turned asthmatic. Who would’ve guessed that the high ropes course would be the perfect avenue for ingraining things like trust and teamwork to a bunch of foster kids who stood as frozen and pale as she looked?

 
Sawyer appeared behind her and cinched the waist strap on her harness. “Ever done a high ropes course?”

  Her upper body jerked with each tug. “No. Definitely not.” Below her torso, her knees had petrified into stiff, wooden planks. She could hardly ride the chairlift up Aspen Mountain without feeling like she had to throw up. Now he expected her to climb up there with the rest of these kids and jump off the platform to gracefully seize that trapeze like she’d joined some insane circus act? She shimmied away from him and sloped her hands on her hips. Great. Her fingertips were already numb. “When I agreed to help, I didn’t realize this was part of the deal.”

  He laughed like he thought she was joking. “You’ll love it.”

  No. She loved being in the kitchen. On the ground. She loved losing herself in a half hour of kneading bread dough. She slid her hands down the back of her pants to wipe off the sweat. “I’m not big on heights.”

  Sawyer’s neck curved to hold his head higher. Those balmy blue eyes crinkled with humor. “Trust me, Ruby. If you can dunk your head underwater, you can jump off that platform.”

  “No thanks.” Her tone was sharp enough to lop off his outstretched hand. She assessed the godforsaken contraption again. “Is that thing hanging by fishing wire?”

  He had the nerve to laugh again. Harder this time. Even though he must have seen how much she was sweating.

  “You’ve got nothing to worry about.” He raised his hand and pointed up. “That pulley system is the safest design possible. Bryce has it inspected every year.”

  “Great.”

  “Besides that, I’ll be the one belaying you.” He feigned hurt in a rumple of his lips. “Don’t you trust me?”

  Yes. She trusted him. But after last night he scared her almost as much as that platform. After he’d left Elsie’s house, Ruby decided that she had to put distance between them, to tell him she wasn’t interested so he’d stop pursuing her. Then she’d seen him this morning and her body flooded with longing. When he touched her, when he kissed her, reality seemed so far away. He almost made her believe that they were possible.

  “I promise I won’t let you fall,” he murmured, locking her into his hypnotizing gaze.

  She avoided his eyes. “It’s not you I’m worried about.” It was herself. What if she passed out halfway up the pole? What if she missed her grasp on the trapeze and fell before Sawyer had the chance to stop her? Terror inflated her heart until it ached against her ribs. “You know what? I think I’ll sit this one out. Let the kids have fun with it.”

  Brushing a light touch against her shoulder, Sawyer prodded her a couple of steps away from the kids. “They won’t do this unless they watch someone else do it first.” He smiled, and it was so unfair the way that lovely mouth of his put her under a spell.

  “I won’t let you fall.” That near whisper sent her heart whirling.

  “You’ll be safe. I promise.”

  Ha. She was so not safe with him. Not when he made her feel this way. Like she could do anything, be anybody. Like she could let go of every fear.

  Except one.

  Around them, the shrieks and giggles and quiet gasps gained momentum. Without a promise or a decision, Sawyer winked at her and stepped back to the circle of ogling kids. “Okay, guys. We’ve already gone over the rules. All you have to do is climb to that platform and jump off to grab the trapeze.”

  “Hell no!” came from Javon.

  Sawyer smiled patiently at all of them before giving the Javon a warning look. “Watch that mouth, buddy.” He yanked on the multicolored rope that was woven through some kind of device dangling on his harness. The whole pulley system above their heads jiggled in his grip. “See this rope? I’ll be holding on to you the whole time. I won’t let anyone fall.” He shot Ruby another knee-weakening glance before looking at each kid, apparently trying to beam confidence into their doubting stares.

  “How do we know you’ll be holdin’ on? ’Cause I gots people who tell me stuff all the time. And half of it doesn’t ever happen.” Sweet Neveah stepped into the center of the circle. Though she was short and thin, those round brown eyes dared anyone to argue with her.

  Sure enough, Sawyer’s arms flew up in surrender. “Okay. Okay. I know this is a little different than what you’re used to.” He trotted back to Ruby and dangled his arm around her shoulder. Lordy. He smelled so good. She inhaled, the mountainous scent of the evergreen trees nearly making her dizzy.

  “We’ll demonstrate so you can see how easy and safe this is,” she vaguely heard him say. “My friend Ruby’ll climb up there and show you how it’s done.”

  That got her attention. “What?” Her body shot away from his. She tripped and stumbled until she’d made it to the other side of the circle. Safely out of his grasp. “No. No way.”

  “If she’s not doin’ it, I sure as hell ain’t gonna try it.” Javon backed away. The other kids started to follow.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “This guy’s crazy.”

  Sawyer’s mouth tightened into a frown. He focused the glare at her. As if it was her fault they refused. She sculpted her shoulders into an innocent shrug. Hey, they couldn’t force them to climb up there if they didn’t want to, could they?

  “Think about it, guys.” He left his post and walked slowly around the circle, pausing to look into each kid’s eyes. “Think what it would feel like to stand way up there and look at the view. When else will you get the chance to go for it like this?” He stopped in front of her, a smile hiding in his features. “When else will you have the chance to jump without being afraid to fall?”

  She got his hidden meaning. He wanted to free her. But she’d always be afraid as long as Derek was out there…

  On either side of Ruby, Brooklyn and Neveah locked their hands onto her arms.

  “You can do it, Ruby!” Brooklyn’s curls sprung and bounced with each nervous twitch.

  “I’ll do it if you go first.” Neveah ushered her into the center of the circle. Right next to Sawyer. “It’s okay to be scared, right?” She stood between them. Between Ruby and a quick, albeit violent, death.

  “She won’t be scared because she trusts me.” Sawyer took her hand to the tune of snickers and whistles.

  He didn’t even seem to notice the kids elbowing one another and whispering. He tightened his grip on her hand until his confidence filled in the shadows of her doubt.

  “That’s what this is about. Trust.” His eyes locked into hers and asked the question. Did she trust him? Could she trust him? Just for ten minutes. Or an hour. It might take her an hour to climb up to the top of that platform.

  The group quieted. Nine pairs of eyes stared at her. Some brown, others blue, green, some with heavy makeup and some that held doubt and disappointment and pain. Her decision would teach them something. What she chose would define this moment for them. For her, too. If she walked away, they would, too.

  Shit. “Okay. Fine.” Irritation breezed through the words, but she only put it there to hide the raw fear that tried to squeak through.

  “Atta girl!” Sawyer patted her ass, and hello, that didn’t alleviate the wobble in her body.

  She tried to smile, but her heart seemed to alternate between palpitations and long pauses. And was her throat swelling shut? Could she be allergic to adrenaline?

  “You can do it, Ruby!” Neveah yanked on her arm until she started to trudge toward the pole.

  “Hold on a sec.” Sawyer swooped in front of her and clicked a silver metal thingie into a loop on the front of her harness. “Now I’ve got you on belay.”

  Without meeting his eyes, she sidestepped him. “Great.” A blurred film covered her vision as she entered into the shadow of the great platform.

  “All right, everyone,” Sawyer called. “Let’s cheer her on.” Behind her the kids started calling out their encouragement.

  “Go, Ruby!”

  “Don’t look down!”

  “Be careful!”

  Two more steps on solid ground. S
he took them slowly. As she reached a hand up to grab the first climbing stake, Sawyer caught up to her and leaned close. “You sure you’re okay with this? Because if you’re not, you can belay me.”

  She glanced over her shoulder. Brooklyn’s hands were clasped at her chest like she was saying a prayer. Neveah jumped up and down. Even Javon and Wyatt watched, eyes wide with anticipation. She owed it to them to do this, to be as brave as they believed she could be.

  She secured a hand on Sawyer’s shoulder and tried to siphon some of his mountain-man skills. “It’s fine. It’ll be good for me.”

  He moved closer, lips brushing against her ear. “I’ve got you. Okay?” His hand yanked on the rope that wove through both their harnesses.

  Ruby felt a lift at her waist, like he could have hoisted her up there himself with the sheer strength of his arms.

  “See? I’ll be holding on to you the whole time.”

  “Mmm hmmm,” was the only reply she could muster. She didn’t want to walk away from him. She wanted to launch herself into his arms and stay there until her heart settled and she could breathe like a normal human being.

  But Sawyer withdrew a few steps back and left her with the platform.

  Excited squeals pierced the solemn mountain air.

  “Is she gonna make it?” Neveah squealed.

  “What if she falls?” Javon asked.

  “I can hear you.” She lifted a foot to the first wooden dowel sticking out of the pole. Reached for the next handhold. Oh, god. As she hoisted herself up, a sickening rush of blood shot into her extremities. Her legs quivered with the onslaught of adrenaline. Her hands gripped those pegs hard. One step up. Another. She closed her eyes, feeling her way up the pole. Don’t. Look. Down.

  “That’s it! One step at a time.”

  Her eyes popped open and searched for Sawyer. About twenty feet below, the ground spun in circles. Her knuckles iced over. Sweat melted down her temples. What was she thinking? She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t—