Love & War

by Ashley Antoinette

  Everyone who was anyone in the city was invited. YaYa didn’t have many friends so the guest list was mostly Indie’s friends and associates. It wasn’t celebrity studded, but their red carpet was filled with all the dope boys of America. Every man who was heavy in the game was in attendance. She had no idea who half of the people were, but the turnout was well over 200 guests. Indie was well respected in his hometown so when his name was involved he brought the entire city out. The only person that YaYa wished could have been there to stand at her side was Mona. The memories of their bond played through her head like a motion picture and she sent a prayer up to the heavens in commemoration. “I do miss you, Mo,” she whispered. “Who would have thought? Me in a white dress?” she cracked jokingly. “Ha! We know that’s a lie!”

  A knock at the door interrupted her moment and she turned to see Buchanan Slim standing before her. He was dapper as ever in a black tuxedo and he held a beaming Skylar in his arms. “Hey, handsome,” YaYa greeted. She reached out for Skylar. “And hi to you too, my beautiful girl,” she cooed.

  “Hi, Mama,” Skylar replied. She was growing so quickly that YaYa could barely keep up. The three-year-old was now walking and talking and bossing everyone around. YaYa was completely wrapped up in her role as a mother and after today, she would add wife to her resume. She looked forward to the normalcy that married life would bring. What most women thought of as a burden YaYa would take pride in. She would be her husband’s housekeeper, his chef, his concubine; whatever Indie husband needed, YaYa would be it. As long as Indie made sure the streets never invaded her home again, she would make sure that she provided a safe haven whenever he walked through their door.

  “You’re stunning Disaya,” Slim complimented. Slim hadn’t always been there for her; in fact he had missed majority of her life . . . but the fact that he was standing beside her as a father should, on her wedding day, meant the world. She could sense the many regrets that burdened his shoulders. Every time he looked at her, she saw his remorse. He didn’t need to speak any words of apology for YaYa to know that he was sorry. He was the only father she knew, whether it be by blood or by love . . . they were connected. Her mother had loved Slim dearly and that was reason enough for YaYa to love him too. She knew that one day they would sit down to air out the many years of unresolved issues that lay between them, but today she just wanted to be normal. She wanted to pretend that she was daddy’s little girl as she clung to him while walking down the aisle toward the man she loved.

  “Thanks, Slim,” she replied.

  “I’m going to take this little flower girl to the front while you get dressed. I just wanted to stop in and tell you that I love you. Dynasty would be proud. You are the type of woman that she always wanted to become,” he said. He stared off into space momentarily and YaYa knew that he was consumed by the memory of her mother.

  Miesha and Elaine slipped into the room just as Slim made his exit. “It’s time to get you into your dress. Indie’s all ready for you and your guests are seated. It’s time to begin,” Elaine said.

  YaYa nodded. “Okay, I’m on my way out. Just give me a few more minutes.” When she was alone YaYa she dropped to her knees. After all that she had survived she was extremely humbled and grateful for this moment. She had never thought she would find a man like Indie, let alone become his wife. It was as if God had designed them uniquely for each other and no one else. Indie was a gift and she would be forever thankful for his presence in her present.

  “God, thank you for seeing me through. I am forever a work in progress, but I love you for loving me through all of my imperfections. When I’m burdened and weak you give me strength. When I’m happy you tap my shoulder in remembrance of humility. It is only because of you that I have made it this far. Thank you for this day. Amen,” she prayed. The door opened once more and Elaine peeked her head inside.

  “Baby, you have an entire ballroom of people waiting on you, not to mention a very nervous groom. If you don’t get out there soon he may run away on you this time,” Elaine joked. “You ready to get dressed now?”

  YaYa nodded as she wiped away the single tear that slid down her cheek. “I’m ready,” she replied with a huge sigh. She was so nervous that it felt as if she had anvils sitting on her chest. Her anxiety was so overwhelming that she could barely breathe.

  Elaine chuckled, recognizing the familiar case of cold feet that every bride experienced. “It’ll pass,” she reassured. “Just keep breathing and keep walking until you see your man. When you lay eyes on him, if the feeling is still there you run for the door, but if it melts away like snow on a sunny morning then you know that he’s the one,” she schooled. It was the same words that her own mother had told her years ago the day she got married. YaYa nodded as Elaine helped her shimmy herself into her wedding dress. She walked to the full-length mirror and held her hands out to her sides as she pivoted on her tiptoes to see all the angles of the dress. “Do I look okay?”

  Elaine had to cover her mouth to keep from letting the sob of emotion creep out. She blinked away tears while nodding her head. “He’s going to love you,” Elaine whispered as she placed the sheer veil gently in YaYa’s hair.

  YaYa exhaled as she placed her hands on her stomach in an attempt to still the fluttering inside. She beamed a wide smile of excitement. The beautiful silk gown hugged her body until it overflowed with silk ruffles at the bottom. The mermaid-style gown was flawless and for that one moment YaYa had no insecurities. She felt simply stunning as she rushed out of the room, the long train trailing behind her.

  Their wedding party was intimate. No distant cousins or long-lost friends stood at their altar. They only wanted their immediate circle beside them as they exchanged vows. With Trina missing in action in Houston, Miesha was her only bridesmaid. Chase the only groomsman. The wedding party focused on simplicity but the wedding itself was nothing short of grand. YaYa stood behind the double doors of the St. Regis as she waited for her cue to walk. Most brides had a fleeting moment just before they wed where they second-guessed their decision, but YaYa was certain. In her heart of hearts she knew that the man waiting for her at the front of the beautiful banquet hall was whom she was meant to be with. So when the doors finally opened, all of her anxiety dissipated, just as Elaine said it would. She had no doubts about the man that she had chosen. The beautiful sound of the four violinists resounded in the air as their strings hummed the subtle tune of “Canon in D” and YaYa graced the aisle. Gasps filled the air as the guests took her in, but YaYa didn’t see anyone but Indie. He stood, dapper as ever, in a grey Tom Ford tuxedo. His hair freshly cut and lined, his hands folded in front of his body, posture strong. He was her destination and the look of certainty in his eyes made her even more confident. Each graceful step she took brought her closer to her destiny. She walked down the aisle but it was as if her feet weren’t touching the floor. She was floating. It was that high feeling again. She was floating and nothing could bring her down off of that cloud. She clung to Slim as he held her securely as he patted her hand, being the support system that she had always needed.

  In her head she wondered if she was good enough for this man. Since meeting him he had always come to her rescue. She was ready to give her entire heart to him because he was worthy, but was she? Did she deserve Indie? A part of her didn’t think so. After all that she had taken him through, all of the times she had disappointed him, betrayed him, he could have easily found a better match, but he loved her all the same. She was the yin and he, her yang. He was the shrimp to her grits, the rhythm to her flow; he was the element in her life that made things complete. They were just right together. He was the love of her life but above that he was her protector. With Indie, she felt . . .

  Safe.

  Secure.

  He had promised to never let anyone hurt her again and it had taken her awhile to get to this place but she finally believed him.

  She saw him standing tall, biting his inner cheek as his jaw muscle tensed. His eye
s were misted as he fought off emotion. His love for her was literally pouring out of his soul. Indie had never been a weak man and the fact that he could barely keep his composure let her know that this love thing that they shared was real. There had never been another bond that was more authentic. As soon as she made it to him, Slim shook Indie’s hand and returned to his seat as the couple stood before the crowded room.

  YaYa’s smile was too radiant, her face too angelic. Her presence was too overwhelming for Indie to just stand there, so instead, he acted on his emotions and pulled her in for a kiss. The entire room erupted in applause and fanfare as YaYa grabbed the sides of his face and returned his affection with passion.

  “You’re beautiful, ma, so beautiful,” he whispered in her ear. They were a young couple in deep love and it was visible to even the blindest of eyes. The pastor cleared his throat and smiled down at the couple.

  “As we can see there is an abundance of love in the building today,” he began. “We are all present to witness this man and this woman as they become one in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.”

  YaYa was so lost in Indie’s stare that she barely heard a word that was spoken. The sound of her own heart beating deafened her and all she could feel was bliss. It was as if some invisible happy fairy was sprinkling joy dust all over her. She tingled it felt so good. Suddenly she felt a tug at the bottom of her dress and the crowd laughed slightly. She looked down to see Skylar. Her precious child was a perfect blend of her parents. YaYa bent down to pick up the only palpable evidence of their love.

  “Hey, baby girl,” she whispered. “Mommy is marrying Daddy. I need you to be a good girl,” she said.

  “I want to marry daddy too,” Skylar replied. YaYa laughed along with the guests and when Elaine stood to take Sky back to her seat, YaYa shook her head. “She can stay. She’s right where she belongs.”

  “Let’s cut to the chase, Rev,” Indie said with a wink. “Li’l mama won’t be this calm too much longer.”

  The pastor nodded and said, “Disaya, please repeat after me. I, Disaya . . .”

  YaYa listened carefully as she recited her vows, genuinely meaning every word, but before she could even finish the clanging of the double doors drew her attention. Everyone turned as a dark-skinned woman entered the ballroom.

  “Wait! Wait! Please stop! This wedding can not happen!” she yelled.

  YaYa’s heart crashed into her stomach as confusion replaced the happiness on her face.

  “Parker?” Indie gasped as he released YaYa’s hand and his eyes widened in shock. A feeling of sickness invaded YaYa when she saw the spark of familiarity ring in Indie’s gaze. She sat her daughter down on the floor and gave her a gentle pat on the bottom as she whispered, “Go to Grandma Elaine.” She stood upright and turned to Indie as anger caused her to tremble. “You know her?” YaYa asked accusingly, equally stunned.

  “Please, Indie, you can’t marry her,” the woman said desperately as she came closer to the altar. “You know that when she came down the aisle to you, all you could see was me.”

  “Indie, who the fuck is she?” YaYa demanded, completely losing her couth. The crowd was silent but clearly tuned in as every eye in the building stared at Indie and then at YaYa and then at the mystery intruder who had the moxie to bust up a wedding ceremony. Things like this only happened in the movies. No one could believe that this scene was playing out in front of them. It was a recipe for drama and YaYa’s fuse was undoubtedly lit. All that growth and maturity that she had just acknowledged in the dressing room was slowly dwindling. She wanted to revert back to her roots and drag this bitch for having the audacity to ruin her day. The ballroom was so silent you could hear a pin drop as everyone waited for Indie’s response.

  Indie stood there stuck between a rock and a hard place. He was at a loss for words. Never in a million years had he ever thought he would see her face again. Parker Banks, the first woman who had ever broken his heart was now standing in front of him, on his wedding day at that, asking him to call everything off. There had been a time when he would have obliged her request without hesitation. He hadn’t seen her in years, but here she stood, looking as beautiful as she had the day she walked out of his apartment eight years before. It was as if she hadn’t aged at all. She had always possessed an innocence that drove him crazy and as he stood between his past and his future he couldn’t deny the slight tug that she had on his heart.

  “You need to leave,” Indie said as he began to turn back to his bride. He turned to Chase who stood as his best man, behind him. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin this day for YaYa. She deserved this. He had committed to her. He couldn’t look back to Parker. “Get rid of her.”

  “You can’t get rid of me, Indie, I have your child and you are not marrying anyone before you hear me out,” she said as tears began to shine in her eyes. “Please, Indie, I love you, I always have and you know deep down that you’ve always wanted to hear me say that,” she pleaded, unashamed and brazen.

  Disaya’s mouth fell open and she doubled over in real physical pain. It felt as if someone had deflated her. It was like the air had been punched out of her lungs. “I knew this was too good to be true. This day was too perfect to ever belong to me,” she whispered.

  She stood to her feet as Indie looked back and forth between her and this girl who had shown up out of nowhere. YaYa didn’t need to see any more. He was indecisive and his hesitation was enough to let her know that he was unsure. He didn’t have to say anything; his actions told it all. “You don’t know who to pick,” YaYa whispered, as the ultimate hurt entered her. The fact that she saw confusion in his eyes was enough to let her know that the nuptials were over. Love may have been many things, but it was never uncertain.

  “YaYa . . . baby girl, just give me a minute,” he whispered, a pained look in his eyes. “I need to speak to her.”

  YaYa shook her head in disgust. “A minute?” she huffed in disbelief. “How about a lifetime. You can have that.” She stormed past Indie, a vision of white as she held up the fabric of her dress as she ran down the aisle in tears.

  “YaYa!”

  The crowd gasped as she went racing toward the exit.

  “I’ve got her,” Chase said as he went tailing after her.

  Indie watched helplessly as YaYa went running out of his life. He wanted to go after her, but this ghost who had walked back into his life had him stuck. He walked up to Parker and grabbed her roughly by her elbow as he dragged her out of the room, using a side door. Chatter immediately erupted as soon as the groom disappeared and Elaine instantly rose out of her seat.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your presence but as you just witnessed there will not be a wedding taking place today,” she said. She turned to Bill, her husband, with a worried look on her face as the guest departed. She didn’t know exactly what this meant, but she was sure that Indie and YaYa couldn’t sustain a blow this big. This would undoubtedly be the straw that broke the camel’s back and ended their relationship for good.

  YaYa burst out of the prestigious hotel and onto the busy streets of NYC. Her tear-stained faced alarmed a few pedestrians as she bent over in anguish. She looked right, then left, but none of those paths allowed her to escape quickly enough.

  “YaYa!”

  She turned back to see Chase and more disappointment filled her. Indie hadn’t even come after her. He’s still in there . . . with her, YaYa thought. She shook her head and turned around to see a pearl-tinted Infiniti truck as it pulled up in front of the hotel. She didn’t hesitate. She opened the door and stuffed her dress inside.

  “Yo, ma, what the—”

  “I don’t know who you are, but please just get me out of here,” she whispered.

  The man looked out of his window at Chase who stood baffled as he lifted his hands as if to say, “What the fuck?”

  He assessed the situation within seconds. He didn’t know what had caused this stunning bride to abandon her groom, but the heartbroken exp
ression on her face was enough for him to put the car in drive and ease away from the curb.

  YaYa looked in the side mirror and saw Chase kick at the air in frustration. She couldn’t contain the sobs that wrecked her.

  She didn’t care that she was in a stranger’s car or that she had no idea where she was going. This cry just needed to get out because the pain she was harboring was too great to contain.

  “Look, ma, I don’t know what to say here. I’ll take you wherever you need to go, but you’ve got to let me know what’s up. I’m driving in circles here,” he said with sympathy.

  She shook her head and closed her eyes unable to calm her emotions.

  “At least tell me your name,” he pushed.

  “YaYa,” she whispered. “My name is YaYa.”

  “Under normal circumstances I’d say it’s nice to meet you,” he replied. “But it doesn’t seem appropriate. I’m lost here, baby girl. Is there somewhere I can take you?”

  He reached in his breast pocket and passed her a pocket square. YaYa graciously accepted. “I’m so sorry. You don’t know me. You can drop me off on the next block. I’ll catch a cab from there. You must think I’m insane.”

  “I’m not dropping you off in the middle of New York City. I’ll take you wherever you need me to. I don’t think you’re crazy, sweetheart. I think a nigga broke your heart and for that I think he must be the crazy one,” he answered honestly.