I shiver and try to keep my breath steady. “You keep talking like that and I’m liable to lose my mind right now.”
“That’s all right. I’d enjoy a preview.”
And then his mouth is on mine again and we’re all over each other. Somehow we make it onto the bed and his hands are pushing up the fabric of my dress, sliding underneath until I can feel them on my ass. The room is on the chilly side, but the heat between us is enough to warm the whole house. I run my hands over his back, taking in the strength of him. He feels so good, smells so good, and it’s more exciting than I imagined. It’s Declan with his quick wit, complex mind, and thorough ways. Declan with his beautiful smile.
“Come with me to a hotel tomorrow,” he says hotly. “Let’s finally experience each other.”
“All right....” Though there’s a part of me that wishes I could experience him right now.
“We’ll get a room then?”
“I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.” I surprise myself with how honest I’m being. Usually in relationships I try to keep a certain distance, an aura of mystery. There’s a little voice in my head telling me that I’m going to miss out on an amazing experience if I play games with this man.
“You’re killing me,” he brushes his lips over mine, “telling me everything I want to hear.”
I suddenly remember what happened at dinner. “What did that Irish I said earlier mean? You never told me.”
Declan smiles enigmatically. “I’ll tell you later.”
“I could always find out without you.”
“I know.” His expression grows thoughtful. “But don’t. Let me be the first person to explain to you what those words mean.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
The next day is St. Stephen’s Day. It’s another holiday in Ireland, but Declan somehow manages to pull us away from the house. I’m currently standing beside him at the front desk of The Clarence, a fancy hotel in Temple Bar, the very one owned by Bono and The Edge. And even though I know I’m being silly and there’s no way we’d see them here, I’m still looking around the lobby expectantly as if Bono is going to magically appear. I can see him so clearly—his pale blue sunglasses, the Edge is beside him and they’re performing an unplugged version of “One”, my favorite U2 song. As I’m lost in reverie…Bono is motioning for me to come closer now, wow—I think he wants me to sing with him…I hear the desk clerk say “Thank you Mr. and Mrs. O’Connor” while he hands Declan the room’s card keys.
“Mr. and Mrs?” I question as we walk towards the elevators.
“Trust me, it’s easier this way. You have to remember this is a country that didn’t legalize divorce until the mid-nineties. We’re still prudish in our own way.”
As we stand inside the elevator, Declan and I both watch the numbers light up and I feel my stomach fill with butterflies. I could barely sleep all night thinking about being with him today.
Watching the floors go by, I’m overcome with my own insecurities. What if we’re not meant to be a couple? What if sleeping together is a mistake and we’re ruining an incredible friendship?
“I’m nervous,” I blurt out.
He grins. “Me, too. It’s good being nervous though.”
A few minutes later we’re at our door and Declan is opening it with the card key. Stepping inside I find that the room is beautifully decorated with a gorgeous view of the River Liffey. My first impression is that it’s far too nice and expensive for a short afternoon tryst, which is what I tell him.
“A short afternoon tryst? I plan to spend the rest of the day here with you and well into the night.” He moves closer and wraps his arm around my waist, his voice low in my ear. “You don’t really think one afternoon together will satisfy us, do you?”
I feel his fingers brush my hair aside, and then his mouth is on the back of my neck, kissing me and taking little bites. His hands slide down slowly over my body.
“I want you so much,” he whispers. “And I’ve waited so long.”
Desire floods through me and my breath comes out shaky. I’m trembling as I lean into him. Something inside me already wants it hard and fast because that’s how I get when I’m turned on, but I can tell Declan is not having any of it. He’s going to make me wait—take his time, just like he said.
He pulls away from me and shrugs his coat off, throwing it over a chair, then sits down on the edge of the bed, watching me.
“Come here, Kate.” His voice is soft, but there’s a command in it.
For a moment I hesitate, but then I go and stand before him. When I see the lust in his eyes it rocks me, but then I notice something else in them too, something soulful. Declan doesn’t only want me because he thinks I’m pretty or sexy. He wants me. Declan understands me in a way that no one ever has. He gets me.
He’s still watching me in that way he does sometimes, contemplating.
“I want you to take your clothes off,” he says, his eyes steady on mine.
I stare at him, surprised by the request. I’m reminded of the last time someone asked me to strip. It was Ben out on his deck, but this is so much different. That was just fun and games. It didn’t matter like this does.
“I’ve fantasized about this for a long time,” Declan says, when he notices my hesitation. “Do it for me. Let me see you.”
And so I do as he asks. I take my clothes off. I don’t go into a strip tease or turn it into anything silly, and yet I don’t do it perfunctorily either. Instead I take my time. Working from the outside in. I take off each item of clothing in a slow and thoughtful way. First my sweater and then my shoes and socks, then finally my jeans. When I’m down to nothing, but my bra and underwear, I stop and look over at him.
His eyes on me are intense, taking in everything. I watch as they flicker over my face, before moving heatedly down my body and then back up. I reach around and undo the back of my bra, sliding it off my shoulders. My panties come next. I push them down, barely noticing the pile of clothes on the floor around me.
Unlike that time on Ben’s deck where it was nighttime and the light was dark and flattering, it’s currently the middle of the day. It’s cloudy outside, but there’s plenty of light to see everything. Every flaw, every dimple of cellulite, every imperfection. I have no choice but to claim it all. I glance towards the window and it occurs to me that I’ve never felt so naked in my entire life. Or so brave.
“Kate, you’re beautiful,” Declan says hoarsely, breaking the silence. “Even more so than I imagined.” There’s a note of wonder in his voice and when I turn to him, I see that he means it. He really thinks I’m beautiful. For some crazy reason tears well up and I swallow hard, trying to push them back. When our eyes meet I understand that it’s not like it was with Ben and all his criticisms, looking at me, but always looking for the flaws. Declan is looking for the good stuff and, judging by the aroused expression on his face, he’s finding plenty of it.
He gets up and comes to me as if he’s been holding back and can’t wait any longer. I’m surrounded by his scratchy sweater and coarse jeans. It feels erotic to be naked while he’s still fully clothed. His warm hands are all over me, rough and certain, but it’s not enough, not nearly enough. I pull his mouth down over mine and we’re connected, kissing hungrily.
“I know that wasn’t easy for you,” he murmurs, his hands on my breasts, cupping them and then rubbing his thumbs around my areola. “I wanted to see you like this though. I’ve wanted to see you naked for so long.”
He bends his head down and takes one of my nipples in his mouth, drawing it in, while working the other. The pleasure is almost painful and all I can do is grab his head and gasp. I have this overwhelming need to feel Declan everywhere—on me, around me, inside me. I wish I could absorb him through my skin.
He pulls me over to the bed, but I stop him.
“I want you to take your clothes off too.”
Declan grins then pulls his sweater overhead. I immediately put my hands out
and run them down the front of his chest, feeling even more turned on. He has a strong solid body. His chest is covered with light brown hair and he looks even better than I remember. When he goes for the zipper on his jeans I step in closer.
“Let me.”
“All right.” Our eyes meet. His gaze is as intimate as a caress and I see everything in their blue depths. His arousal, his need, the anticipation that’s been building between us for so long. I run the zipper down and before I know it my hand is finally wrapped around him. My breath catches again, though not for the same reason as before. Declan’s cock is big and hard and heavy. And did I mention it was big?
I pull back slightly and blink down at him in surprise. “How come you never told me?”
“What?” Declan’s seems confused. But then he grins with understanding. “That I have a big dick? Em...it’s not exactly dinner conversation.”
“No. I guess it isn’t.”
“It’s not...a problem for you or anything I hope.”
I hear the concern in his voice, but when I stare down at this gorgeous cock in my hands my mouth actually waters in anticipation.
I swallow. “No,” my voice comes out hoarse and I swallow again. “It’s not a problem. It’s...fantastic.”
Declan smiles. “Words every man loves to hear.”
I run my hand over the length of him and his eyes go dark with pleasure.
“That feels good,” he breathes as I continue to stroke him.
We kiss again and his hand slides down between my legs, so we’re both stroking each other. When he slips his fingers inside me I let my breath out. Sensation is pooling low in my belly.
Somehow we make it over to the bed with Declan lying over me. He kisses my neck before sliding down to my breasts. I grab him, restless and unable to calm myself. I feel absurdly aroused and it’s everything I can do not to beg him to take me.
When he gets down between my legs I think he’s going to put his mouth on me and I can’t wait, but instead he takes one of the pillows from the bed and tells me to lift my hips as he slides it underneath my ass.
“Spread your legs. I want to see you here too.”
If I was less turned on I’d probably feel shy about this, but I do exactly as he asks.
He bends down and slides his fingers gently between my legs, opening me. His face is flushed and when he speaks his voice is rough, the Irish strong. “Kate, you’re so lovely... all swollen and wet for me.”
I begin to squirm. And then his mouth is on me, softly at first, tongue and lips. I push against him, but he’s not having any of that and begins licking all around my clit, occasionally flicking against it to the point where I’m moaning and moving my hips against his mouth. It’s the sweetest torture I’ve even known.
“Declan...,” I say breathless. “Declan....”
“I like it when you say my name.”
“I can’t take it anymore...it’s too much.”
“Mmm, you taste as good as I thought you would.”
“Please.”
He slides his fingers gently over me. “Please what? Tell me what you want Kate. Say the words.”
“Make me come,” I whisper.
He nods slowly. “I could do that...but this is so much fun.”
He puts his mouth on me again and I think he’s going to go back to torturing me, but instead he’s firm, doing it just right and moments later I’m swept into the current, my whole body trembling. I hear someone scream with pleasure and then realize that it’s me. I’m grabbing his head, my thighs locked around him as each wave rolls through me. Finally I go limp and Declan moves up over me quickly, shoving the pillow aside.
“Christ, I can’t wait any longer,” he says, his voice ragged.
I wrap my arms around him, still reeling, and feel him push into me inch by inch, rocking his hips, though I can tell that it’s costing him to go slow. When he’s finally inside me I feel full, but it’s not anything my body can’t handle. As he moves, I start to move with him, taking in more of him. We’re both groaning with each stroke and it’s so exquisite that I feel completely lost, as if the rest of the world has ceased to exist and it’s only the two of us.
His movement slows. When our eyes meet something passes between us—something so intimate that I can only feel the wonder of it. I realize then that this is what it feels like to make love. Those words have become a cliché, but in this moment with Declan I understand them in a way that’s entirely new. He isn’t just inside my body, but my heart too.
“I’ve never wanted anyone like this before,” he whispers. “You’re everything.”
His words sink into my soul and before I can respond tears are flooding my eyes. “It’s the same for me,” I finally manage to whisper back.
He gets a thoughtful expression on his face and I think he’s going to say something about the tears. I hope he isn’t spooked, but he puts his thumb up and gently wipes one of my cheeks then kisses it. “You’re even pretty when you cry.”
Through this tangle of emotion and passion I smile, and when Declan smiles too, I know I could drown in it. He kisses me again, lush and hot, and a fierceness takes hold of us. Suddenly we’re grabbing each other, lost in the storm, until I’m crying out, climaxing again. Declan watches me, trying to hold himself back and making it last a long time. It’s so good I want it to go on forever, but then he lets out a low groan and I watch his face change and know that despite his good intentions he can’t hold back any longer either.
Afterwards we’re both sprawled on the bed with the room spinning. I close my eyes trying to ground myself. It occurs to me that this is the most intense sexual experience I’ve ever had. My face is still wet with tears and I’m embarrassed for crying, but then I push that thought away. I decide right there that I’m not going to feel embarrassed for being passionate in any way ever again. If Declan can’t handle it then too bad. When I turn to him, I find that he’s already studying me.
“What are you thinking about? You almost look angry.”
I smile sheepishly and tell him that I decided I wasn’t going to be embarrassed for crying.
“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Come here.” He pulls me in close and I put my head on his chest so we’re wrapped around each other. “You don’t ever have to feel embarrassed with me Kate, don’t you know that?”
“I don’t?”
“No, I want you to be yourself always”
I let his words wash over me and to my disbelief there’s a flood of fresh tears. I start laughing. “What the heck is wrong with me? I can’t believe I’m crying so much! This is hardly the way I imagined it would go this afternoon.”
Declan grins and rolls me onto my back. “What can I say? I’m obviously that good.”
I punch him in the shoulder. “Puh-lease.”
“Oh really? So I’m not that good?”
“Well...I don’t know if I’d describe you as that good exactly. I’d say you were more like almost mediocre.”
Declan lets out a laugh. “High praise indeed!”
“Don’t let it hurt your feelings or anything,” I continue. “I know we can work on it. By the time I’m done with you, I’ll bet you’ll be almost good.”
“I look forward to that. Shall we begin those lessons now?” Declan slips his hand lower, cupping my breast. He kisses my neck and then slides his mouth down to my décolletage.
“Lesson one—always pay attention to my breasts.”
He moves down to my right nipple which is already standing up, eager to be administered to. “Don’t worry,” he says, “I think you’ll find that I’m a fast learner.”
He takes lesson one to heart, gently pinching and rolling my nipples, then drawing them into his mouth one at a time as I squirm with pleasure beneath him. He plays with my breasts for a while, teasing me to see what I enjoy. All I can say is that, like all areas in his life, Declan’s very thorough. By the time he’s finished with me I’m completely wrecked.
“
Shall we move on to lesson number two?”
“Just give me a minute,” I say, trying to catch my breath.
He nods, while I put my hand up to his face, stoking his jaw. And then he kisses me, full mouthed, our tongues stroking each other. We’re both aroused, but there’s a mellowness between us, too. He tightens his arms around my waist and rolls us over.
“I want you on top this time,” he says. “I want to watch you put my cock inside you.”
“Hey, who’s giving the lessons here?” I smile, but then reach down and take him in my hand. I can feel his erection pressing as I slowly work him into me.
Declan watches my face and then I see his eyes move down to where we’re joined.
“God, what a sight,” he murmurs. “You’re beautiful like this.”
I feel his hands slide up my arms and shoulders, caressing my skin. When I move on top of him, he’s still watching me and the expression he’s wearing is the best mixture of lust and joy I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t believe I’m the one putting that look on his face. It’s like some kind of miracle.
My hair is swinging, brushing against him while he strokes my body. He’s telling me how good I feel and how he’s wanted me forever. Somewhere in there I start to come again, breathing his name, telling him to come with me. He grips my hips hard and soon we’re flying to pieces all over each other.
***
I don’t remember falling asleep. All I know is that when I wake up the room is getting dark. I roll over to find Declan still sleeping beside me and so I simply lay there and watch him, amazed that we’re here together.
As I’m thinking this Declan opens his eyes. He doesn’t stir or say anything and instead we simply gaze at each other, completely blissed out.
“You make me happy,” I say, softly. “Have I ever told you that?”
“No, I can’t say that you have.” He closes his eyes and when he opens them I can see the emotion there. “You make me happy too.”
I move closer and kiss him gently on his cheeks, nose, forehead, and then finally his lips. He opens his mouth to me and the kiss is deep and rich. His tongue moves over my teeth and we’re both exploring each other, taking our time, though after a while it heats up. I suck on his tongue and he groans, rolling on top of me, planting himself between my thighs. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”
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