Girls From da Hood 9

by Amaleka McCall

  “A member of the La Di La what?” Sputtering, I turned to give Milan a good stare down, my expression showing my obvious confusion. Aeron had never mentioned whatever he was talking about, so this was all news to me.

  He gave me a frustrated eye roll, slicing his hand through the air quickly and then through his hair in an agitated nervous motion, pulling it out of its neat ponytail. He fidgeted with getting it tied back behind his head as he explained.

  “The Law of Retribution or Law of Talion.” He paused, giving me an expectant look, but I still had no idea what he was stalking about. “The Lot. It’s like a gang, some kind of underground organization. Why do you think Blakely let Juarez do whatever the hell she wanted to? You might wanna go unite with the sistas or some shit, because you are gonna need backup. If any of the Latina members in here find out and they think you seriously did something to her, they’re gonna do something to you, sweetheart. Your little ripple might have started a damn tidal wave.”

  I didn’t say anything. I honestly had no clue what to say. Before being here I knew next to nothing about gangs or gang affiliation. The thought never occurred to me about how Aeron would actually react to her sister’s death, let alone the fact that either of them could have ties to an actual gang. I shrugged at Milan as if I didn’t have a care in the world and ignored his look of exasperation and anger. At this point the only thing at the top of my prayer list was to make it out of prison and get my daughter. Second on my prayer list was my request for an absolutely spotless coroner’s report.

  Chapter 9

  Demonology

  After breakfast I skipped going out to the yard and instead decided to start doing some research. I walked into the rec room and signed in. The correctional officer behind the check-in desk never even looked up. She was too busy with the phone wedged between her ear and shoulder, lost in a conversation about some drug dealer who managed to get another officer to help him escape. His baby momma called asking where he was and the warden didn’t want to give her a solid answer. I wanted to listen further but didn’t want to catch her attention and get put out. The room was about the size of a small classroom. One wall was covered in shelves of encyclopedias and law manuals; the other was a random assortment of outdated magazines.

  There were three raggedy prehistoric-looking Gateway computers side by side on a long table at the back of the room. Fortunately no one was using them. It was just too nice of a day for anyone to want to sit up in this dusty old closet surfing the Internet. Well, anyone except for me that is. With no idea where to start, out of habit I pulled up my Facebook account and logged in. I was thankful my password and everything still worked.

  Depression hit me like a tidal wave as my profile picture stared back at me. That wasn’t me, couldn’t be. The girl in the picture had her hair pinned up with soft curls falling around her ears. There was a golden glow to her light brown skin from the camera flash, making her already large brown eyes look even larger. I looked at a me I didn’t know anymore, a version of myself that was radiant and alive and in love with my fiancé and the Word of God.

  My friends list used to be around 500 or so people. They were mostly members from the church, business clients, and associates. I didn’t have very many friends outside of that. Rejection set in as I scrolled through the names of the fifty-two people still on my list.

  Just look at how supportive your church home is now. All the tithing and time you spent caring and praying for those assholes when they were sick or needed a kind word. Where are they now, Church Girl?

  The devil on my shoulder was being a real jerk today, giving me thoughts of doubt and self-loathing. Had it been another church member I probably would have done the same thing myself. Deleted them from my life, scared the dirty association might tarnish my name or leak into my livelihood.

  My heart skipped in excitement as I passed over Brother Hall’s image. He was always such a sweetheart, helping me with the kids during vacation Bible school and always offering to cover choir rehearsals when I had to work late. His profile was a collage of images from things he’d done recently around the church. There was one of him standing in the crowd, towering over everyone around him. His eyes were closed and his hands were in tight fists as he lifted them in praise. Gone was the nappy fro I remembered. His haircut looked good on him; it gave him a dignified, intelligently handsome appearance.

  Seek and you will be shown, ask and you shall receive. Right?

  It was a far cry, but what other choice did I have? I hit the message button and nervously constructed an e-mail that would hopefully get his attention and get him to give me a little help. I needed money in my commissary and I needed someone I could trust to help me with my legal proceedings and maybe even trying to get Jada.

  Brother Hall,

  I know you’ve heard the news by now. No. I didn’t do any of it. I need help and don’t know where else to turn. I can’t tell you what it’s been like for me in here and I can’t bear to think of what my daughter might be going through without me. If you have a number I can call you at I’d appreciate it. It would be a collect call of course. Please don’t reply to this and tell me you’ll pray. I’ve prayed enough for both of us. Remember how we used to always say it’s the real saints who’ll get their knees dirty to pray with you instead of sitting in their comfortable home praying for you? Well, I need you down in the trenches with me more than I’ve ever needed anyone in my entire life.

  Eva

  Using my sleeve I quickly brushed the tears from my eyes and hit send. I was about to close the page when a picture in the corner of the screen caught my eye. A chill shot through me as I stared at the “People You May Know” section. There was a dark, blurry image of a couple, like the picture had some kind of filter on it, but I’d recognize Dontay’s grey eyes anywhere. The name beneath the picture was Ms. LoveKush Bettathantheythink Bankhead. I squinted at the thumbnail-size picture. The figures were both shadowed out; he was standing behind her and their faces were blurred all except for his eyes. It appeared to have been done intentionally, like with some sort of photo editing program.

  My hands were frozen in a claw-like position over the keyboard and mouse. I was afraid to click on the picture and enlarge it, paranoid that whoever this woman was would know I was secretly stalking her page. A thousand and one things ran through my mind all at once. Did they take that picture before we got locked up? Was he cheating on me with this woman? If so how long had it been going on? My finger was unmoving above the mouse; my heart thudded loudly in my ears drowning out everything around me. Click that shit. Just do it.

  “Yooooo, you Church Girl, right?”

  I physically jumped and probably even died for a half a second from fright as someone grabbed the back of my chair and swiveled me around. The room flew by in a quick blur. I could feel all the blood physically drain from my face in panic as I sat facing five Hispanic women I’d never seen before.

  “They said cha ass was mute or some shit, but I don’t believe dat. Nah, I think if chu know waz good, chu gonna talk to us.”

  The woman speaking was short, squat, and box shaped. A white bandana held her hair back from her round face, making her penciled-in black eyebrows and lip liner stand out starkly against her olive skin. I glanced around nervously looking for the guard who was at the desk, but of course she’d miraculously done the unthinkable and vanished.

  “Okay. Wh . . . what would you like to discuss?” I sounded like a straight-up punk; my voice was small and shaky.

  A smug smile spread across her face and she nodded to a tall, thin chick behind her. It happened so fast I didn’t have a chance to blink, swallow, or even recite the Lord’s Prayer. Someone grabbed me up from the chair and pinned my arms behind my back. A rough, callused hand slammed across my forehead, craning my head back, fully exposing my neck.

  The one who had been speaking all this time walked up to me and held up a small blade. Cross-eyed, I tried to stare down my nose to focus on it, scared if I
took my eyes off of it I’d feel it in my ribs or running across my throat. My neck muscles were constricting painfully from the awkward placement of my head. She came up to me as if she were going to give me a hug and placed her cheek right up against mine. Stale cigarettes and cheap body spray filled my nose as the tip of the blade barely touched the side of my throat. Her voice hissed into my ear like a snake that’d learned to speak broken English.

  “Ssssoo, Church Girl, one quesssstion, one ansssss-wer. Chu kill Antonia?” she asked, pressing the shank hard into my neck, and I winced, certain it was drawing blood. She then turned her head, placing her ear almost directly on my lips, waiting for me to reply.

  “She did it, Janisa, she know she did. Just slice her ass up like she deserve.” The girl holding me provoked my interrogator in an angry whisper.

  Bite it! Bite the bitch’s ear off! Slam the bitch behind you into the desk so she lets go and grab the shank while the other one’s squealing in pain. Stab anyone who stands between you and that door!

  “No.” My whispered response was directed more toward this inner demon I’d somehow manifested. It seemed to love bloodshed, reveled in revenge, made me think of the most ungodly ways to handle situations.

  “Oh. No, she says.” She turned to the other women and shrugged, they all started laughing. I didn’t get the joke.

  “According to her, I guess Antonia just died on her own. Wid no one in the cell wid her but dis bitch.”

  The girl holding my limbs hostage laughed, tightening her grip even more painfully. Hell, any tighter and I wouldn’t have to worry about being shanked; my neck would probably snap.

  “I didn’t kill her.” It was a pitiful attempt to save my life. I began to silently pray and ask God’s forgiveness for everything I’d ever done. It was becoming obvious that they didn’t care what I said.

  You should have done what you had to do to keep your ass alive. Survival is all about fear and the strength of fear. Animals do it all the time. They camouflage themselves to look like something their predator will fear. Tell them you did it. Make these bitches fear your ass! Lie, make up a lie. Tell them you’d kill them all if you got the chance. You could do it, you’ve already done it!

  I tried to shake the little voice that belonged to my inner demon out of my head. I guessed we all had it; some people just called it their conscience. Whatever it was, the only difference between me and these women was the fact that I refused to let my blood-thirsty inner demon control me—and they gave in to theirs every time.

  The one with the blade turned back to me, her face contorted in anger at me speaking without being spoken to. She stormed over and punched me in the stomach with everything she had. The air whooshed from my lungs and the feeling of wanting to vomit and pass out at the same time took hold of my body. The girl behind me struggled to keep me on my feet as my body felt like collapsing in on itself from the pain. I’d never been hit before and definitely not that hard.

  I was pulled roughly back up onto my feet and Janisa closed in for round two. A cold sweat was running down my neck and torso. I could feel the cotton fabric of my uniform sticking to my skin. Fighting back waves of nausea I tried to focus on Janisa as she closed the distance between us.

  “I’ll ask you one more time, Church Girl, did you—”

  It happened so fast I had no idea how or why. Janisa fell away from me, a horrified scream frozen on her lips. She reminded me of the reaction my daughter had the first time she scraped her knee. There were a few moments where no sound came out, as tears slowly slid down her face. The sound caught up with her actions as if in slow motion as her scream pierced the air. It was all in a matter of seconds but everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. My captor released me in shock and I could hear her bump into the computer desk as she backed away from me.

  The warm, rubbery portion of Janisa’s ear flew from my mouth as I spat it toward the girl closest to her. She jumped back in terror and I smiled at her reaction, not realizing it made me look damn near insane. Janisa’s blood was running down my chin and I could taste its metallic, coppery presence in my mouth, coating my teeth. Lord, I’d better not get hepatitis or something from this. Turning to the girl behind me, my intent was to gnaw my way through every last one of their asses and I lunged for her. I didn’t expect her to react as quickly as she did. She kicked to fend off my attack, hitting me in the stomach.

  “What the hell is going on in here?”

  Crashing to the cold, hard tile floor never felt so good. I tried to catch my breath before glancing up to see who’d come into the room and saved my life. It was a white male officer; he didn’t look familiar. The Latinas all quietly scurried out the door like a herd of panicked deer. Janisa ran past him, hiding her injury. The female CO who was on duty walked in past him with her head down. She shot me an angry glance out the corner of her eye before plopping back down at her post behind the check-in desk.

  The white officer calmly walked over and helped me to my feet.

  “You okay?” he asked while brushing imaginary dirt off my arm.

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  “Um, you’re bleeding. We need to get you to the infirmary,” he stated, his expression showing genuine concern.

  “It’s not my blood,” I replied coldly and I began wiping the blood from my mouth on the front of my white shirt.

  “Well, are you Evaline De . . . De . . .” He hesitated, trying to get my last name out.

  I hated when people messed up my last name. They always did. You’d think I’d have gotten used to it by now. I interrupted him before he could butcher it any further.

  “You say the first part like déjà in the phrase déjà vu, and just add ‘ardin’ to the end of that. Yes, I’m Evaline Desjardin; just call me Eva.” I smiled weakly, my stomach still sending sparks of pain through my body if I inhaled too deeply.

  “Well okay, Eva. I’m from the main office downstairs. Your probation has been approved and you are free to go, under certain restrictions of course. We need to get your clothes and belongings from processing so you can be on your way. I’ll act like what I just saw never happened.”

  I stood there momentarily dazed, certain the Latinas had murdered me. My body was probably lying dead on the floor and I was floating above it. This had to be God’s humorous way of ushering me up to heaven. Dumbfounded, I just stood there shaking from head to toe in disbelief, scared my legs would give out on me if I moved. I felt like laughing, crying, and hugging this angel who’d just saved my life in more ways than one.

  “I thought I wouldn’t be up for probation for another six months. How did it get approved? I didn’t do anything or—”

  He cut me off before I could continue, giving me a look that pretty much said to shut the hell up and go. “I don’t do the fine details, ma’am. I just fetch and deliver.” He nodded toward the door and I smiled my first genuine all-teeth-and-gums smile since being in prison.

  The question still loomed out there. There was no way Brother Hall could have responded to my message that quickly or, maybe, he could have. God’s works aren’t made for our understanding; He only requires our cooperation.

  Chapter 10

  Deleted Delete Delet Dele Del De D But Not Dead

  I stared down into the bin that contained the only remnants of my life, feeling somewhat apprehensive about touching them let alone putting them on. The last time those clothes were on my body I was in a cold sweat, standing before a judge and a jury of my peers as they read my conviction and sentencing. Doom and gloom were the best words I could find to describe the grey and black pinstriped pant suit in front of me. Nothing good came from the last time I’d worn it and my stomach knotted at the thought of wearing it now.

  My heart skipped a beat at the sight of my cell phone. Holding it in my hand made the realization of what was about to happen sink in. Joyful tears filled my eyes at the thought of being able to call who I wanted when I wanted to. Finally, I’d be able to sleep peacefully and have my
baby girl back where she belonged.

  A glimmer caught my eye and I felt instant unease at the sight of my engagement ring. I’d valued it so much that I’d checked it in out of fear of someone stealing it and now it was all but worthless to me. The four-karat princess-cut diamond twinkled at me, mocking me. It was a harsh reality check.

  “You ready, Eva?”

  Officer James, the man who saved me from Janisa and her hoard, appeared outside my cell door. My hands were ice-cold and clammy nubs as I tried to smooth my hair back into a wild, puffy ponytail. My ass needed a perm as soon as possible and some new clothes. The ones I had on were hanging loosely on my body, making it apparent that I’d lost a lot of weight.

  I finally nodded, giving Officer James a polite smile. “Yes, sir, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

  He escorted me down the cell block and for the first time ever it was eerily silent. I could almost feel the hatred and envy like tiny pins in my skin from the eyes that followed me as I was led out. The only two people I felt bad about leaving, Say and Milan, were housed in a different unit. I made a mental note to send them letters and care packages for as long as they were in here.

  Everything felt surreal as I stood in the small corridor at the main gate waiting for it to open. Fear crept up on me like a silent little monster. It scrambled up my ankle, and made goose bumps rise on my skin as it traveled up my body in anxious shivers until it had planted itself on my shoulder to whisper doubts in my ear.

  What will you do now? Where will you go? You don’t have anything or anyone now...

  Grinding my teeth and stiffening my spine, I narrowed my eyes in determination.

  I’ll do whatever the hell I have to in order to find Jada and Dontay. Nothing can be worse than what I’ve already been through.