by Mars Dorian
Whizzard nodded. Elli said,
“Now I want you to get up slowly.”
Whizzard stood up.
“Stretch your arms and legs.”
He stretched his arms and legs.
“And now do the chicken dance.”
And Whizzard did the chicken dance on stage. Waddled around, shook arms and legs, pulled them up close, stretched them. Again and again.
Elli said,
“Do the chicken sounds.”
And the Whizzard whistled.
“Bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, begowwwwk.”
The vloggers cackled with laughter. Except for Violet Gear, she winced, all the while wondering if this was legit or just part of the show. Laci watched with her mouth wide open. She watched how Whizzard span around, losing himself into the chicken trance. Elli turned to the audience and winked.
“Now the best part, ladies and boys.”
She fumbled around her pockets, took out a package of nuts and scattered them around the stage.
“Come pick them up with your beak.”
Whizzard kneeled down chicken-style, picked up every nut with his mouth. In-between every nab, he released more ‘bock, bock, bock’ sounds. The auditorium erupted in laughter.
Elli twinkled like the spotlight above her. Not much was left of the shy girl from before.
“Good chicken, come on now, bock, bock.”
And Whizzard followed her command like the eternal slave. Laci stood up, snapped her finger.
“That is awesome, Elli, but I think it’s enough.”
“Not yet,” Elli said without even looking at her.
“Whizzard, spread your wings.”
He stretched his arms. Elli gleamed.
“Move towards the end of the stage.”
He did.
“And now fly off the stage, chicken Whizzard, fly into the sky.”
Whizzard held his arms high. Flapped his hands, one, twice, thrice.
“Now lift,” Elli said.
And Whizzard jumped into the air with flapping hands. He become a bird for half a second, but gravity pulled him back. He fell down, crashed onto the floor, face first, in front of the first row of the audience.
Elli covered her mouth.
“Oopsie.”
The vloggers gasped. Elli clapped her hands, snapped her finger. Down on the ground before the stage, Whizzard woke up from his hypnosis. Moaned and crawled as he staggered around. He held his mouth which suddenly ached like hell. Elli posed the victory sign and bowed in front of everyone.
“Ta-daa.”
The silent audience unleashed a stormy applause. Some of the vloggers clapped as well, everyone but Violet Gear, Trigger and the TwinBuilds. They expressed their WTF faces as Whizzard limped back to his seat.
“What happened?” he said with a face that looked like it survived a brick massage.
Elli returned to her seat.
“I just demonstrated why some of my videos attract up to thirty million views.”
Whizzard frowned as the vloggers nodded in unison. Elli sighed, leaned back in her seat with a big, fat smile smeared on her freckle-filled face. Violet Gear made a mental note.
Watch out for that girl.
She may be the most dangerous of them all.
36
Laci turned to the TwinBuilds, did her usual Q&A spiel, but Whizzard interrupted.
“What just happened? Why does my mouth hurt so bad?”
Bam smiled at him.
“Must be because of all the rubbish that comes out.”
The vloggers and audience chuckled. Whizzard turned to him and hissed.
“Or maybe it’s because I licked your mom last night, hence the sour aftertaste.”
Bam’s face stiffened.
“Take my mother out of this.”
Whizzard smiled. The joke hunter found his new prey.
“Oh, we found a wound. What’s the matter, you got momma issues?”
Bam clutched his teeth.
“Shut your mouth, you degenerate piece of shit.”
Whizzard grinned and looked at the audience with his arms outstretched.
“Now look at this, lads and gents, we have a hardcore vlogger who crashes into walls for a living but carries a cool that’s only skin deep. Oh, the irony.”
He returned his attention to Bam.
“How did that happen? Did your mom smack you up when you were young? Gave you a good beating or was it the other way around?”
That was enough.
Bam launched from his armchair and rocketed towards Whizzard.
Laci rolled her eyes.
“Now boys, let’s all behave.”
Bam ignored her and looked down at Whizzard who had shifted around in his seat. Bam said,
“One more word and I’ll give you a good beating.”
Whizzard chuckled, but didn’t look up. He licked his lips instead.
“You know what?”
“What?”
“Your mom reads my blog.”
Bam landed his fist on Whizzard’s face and punched him. Laci jumped and flailed her hands in the air.
“Guys, this interview show is rated E for everyone.”
But for Bam, it moved straight into R-rated territory. He kicked the chair away and dragged Whizzard to the ground while landing another fist to his left cheek. The next punch made Whizzard’s nose bleed, but his crooked smile stood firm. And all of his crooked teeth. For now.
“Yes, let it all out,” Whizzard said, “come to the dark side.”
“You betcha.”
Bam put Whizzard into a chokehold, pressing hard around his neck. He wanted to increase the grip, but two strong arms held him back. Bam turned around and saw Trigger shaking his head, as in don’t do it, he’s no worth it.
But in Bam’s mind, Whizzard was worth every punch, worth getting strangled in the deadlock.
Who’s laughing now?
No one was. Bam looked around the stage, saw the other vloggers staring at him with flabbergasted faces. The audience had become so quiet he didn’t even notice it. For a second that felt like eternity, an eerie silence spread across the auditorium, and the only sound effects came from Whizzard gasping for air in Bam’s chokehold.
Fine.
He let Whizzard go, causing him to tumble to the ground and wheezing for air. The guy cursed every swearword known in the English language, and then some. When he was out of panting and curse words, he said,
“You’ll pay for this, Bammy boy, big time.”
Bam shrugged, strolled back to his seat and sat down. The other vloggers stared at him, just like everyone in the audience. He cracked his back, glanced at Laci and cleared his throat as if nothing happened and said,
“You were asking Elli Mental about her vlog topics.”
Because, showbiz.
37
The show went on, but in a way, it didn’t.
The fight brought the interview to a premature climax, and once it was over, the audience recovered from the tension and lulled back into boredom. Laci realized that and ended the event. She thanked everyone for their attendance and reminded everyone that this was the final night before the Blogbuster.
Bam left the stage first. He moved back to his suite, threw his clothes down on his way to the bathroom and voice-activated the shower. A soothing stream of hot water pearls splashed against his bruised body. And with the chocolate mint shampoo, it felt like bathing in heaven. Exactly what the doctor ordered. The second Bam slipped into fresh clothes, he heard someone knocking on his door.
“Who is it?”
“Trigger.”
“What do you want?”
“I’m afraid I want to give you unsolicited advice.”
Bam sighed.
“Fine, come in.”
The doors slid open, Trigger strolled in. Bam stretched his neck and cracked his knuckles. Grabbed a chair, sat down and crossed his legs and arms.
“Let’s hear the lecture.”
<
br /> “Heh, it’s not going to be that bad, I promise. I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
“Come on, you don’t drop by because you like the way I smell.”
“That’s definitely not the case.”
Bam waved him over to the table and chairs.
“Then what is it?”
“You see, I hate to be the preacher here, but I really don’t think it’s a smart idea to start fights, especially at this early stage of the show.”
“Why would you care? Aren’t we just competitors from now on?”
“We are, but it doesn’t mean we all have to be assholes to each other. I mean, we’re all working in the same biz, and it’s tough making money as a vlogger nowadays. No need to rip apart our own kind, no matter how crooked.”
Trigger rubbed his chin.
“Have you seen Whizzard’s videos? He’s basically pulling tricks on peeps. Pure schadenfreude. That’s probably the only reason why anyone watches his channel — to watch the innocent getting pranked.”
“Natural born asshole,” Bam said.
“Maybe. I think he’s trying to do the same during the show, so don’t let him provoke you. He wants others to explode to make himself look good.”
“He definitely got a talent for that,” Bam said.
Trigger nodded.
“Well, that’s all. Lecture’s over.”
Bam smiled. He led Trigger to the door and shook his hand.
“I appreciate the gesture, seriously. You didn’t have to come over.”
“I know. Have a good night’s sleep.”
“Gotcha,” Bam said and saluted.
The door closed. Bam walked to the freezer, took out a creamed soda, popped it open and gulped it down. He liked how the milk-cream liquid flushed down his gullet. So good. Back on the bed, he activated the wallscreen and put the other vlogger profiles on display. Motioned through them, starting with the Whizzard. It was time for rival assessment.
38
Roman Stax stretched his legs across his mahogany desk and watched the rerun of the interview session on his megalo screens. His smile turned brighter when he reached the moment where Bam started the fight with the Whizzard. He paused the part where Bam put Whizzard into a chokehold. Zoomed in even closer.
“A picture for the ages,” he said to Laci, who stood a few meters away in front of his desk with her arms crossed.
“The violence doesn’t bother you?”
He munched on a roasted almond.
“Violence? Let’s call it active altercation. And to answer your question, no, I welcome it. Have you checked the trending topics on the web? Blogbuster is dominating the top spots, and we haven’t even started the show.”
Laci nodded.
“The critics don’t seem to agree. They’ve already rated the show subzero and below.”
“Ah, the critics. Well, I respect their opinions as much as I respect an Orang Utan fisting himself on a sightseeing spree.”
He chewed on three more nuts.
“Don’t worry, it’s all under control. The boys are testing their testosterone. It’s territorial rival assessment, whatever. I want you to worry about tomorrow. According to our forecast, we’ll have at least fifty-five million initial viewers. I want to blow that number into the stratosphere, that’s why I want to open the show with a bang.”
“Okey dokey,” she said.
With two thumbs up, and a bow, she turned around and pranced towards the doors. Roman smiled.
He was entranced as her booty shook in rhythm with her every step. Yummy. It’s been a while since he participated in active romance, at least two days. But Lucy, or was it Lizzy, didn’t bring it anymore. Laci certainly did.
“And Laci?”
She turned around before the door. Her smile shone brighter than the lamps in his office, and they burned at one thousand watt each.
“Yes?”
“Good job on your one-liners and overall attitude. I especially like your comments.”
“Thank you, Stax. I almost thought I was too annoying.”
He grinned like a boy.
“Annoying is what I pay you for.”
She nodded but the smile vanished. Was that a compliment or insult? With Stax, it was hard to tell. She convinced herself it was the former and left his office. Roman turned around on his mahogany throne and checked the Vorb stats on his eScroll. The 3D printers created two hundred new ones.
“Fab,” he said to himself.
Everything was working according to the plan.
39
Violet walked towards her room when she saw Elli Mental entering her floor. Violet craned her neck and pretended to not recognize her. Too late. Elli stopped in front of her and posed her country gal smile. The freckles on her face stretched with the grin. She looked so innocent, it was hard to believe she pulled off the chicken crash stunt with Whizzard. But then again, she was one of eight vloggers. She was a pro like her, so better treat her like one.
“Good evening, Violet. You look so lovely in your suit. Is that techwear?”
Violet nodded.
“It’s a custom piece from my Urban Wearfare collection.”
“Well, it looks stunning on you. When you walked on the stage today and the spotlight hit your body, I thought an angel descended from heaven.”
“Thanks, I guess,” Violet said.
Elli gleamed and brushed the strand of hair from her face. She looked like a teen from a young adult bubblegum commercial.
“I really liked the way you handled Whizzard during the interview. His misogynist behavior was disgusting, and yet, you didn’t let him intimidate you. Your lines made him crack.”
“Not as much as your hypnotization stunt. I first thought it was fake, but you really did make him believe he was a chicken, right?”
“I didn’t make him believe it, I just made him realize what he really was. Besides, he was asking for it. I’m never again letting a guy bring me down, especially not a creep like him.”
Deep inside, Violet cringed. Behind Elli’s sugary smile, there was a manload of hidden angercrap.
But this time, Violet carried zero interest of deepening the conversation. She sighed, moved towards her door and signaled to enter it when Elli grabbed her arm and squeezed it tight.
“I know we’re going to be rivals from now on, but that doesn’t mean we have to treat each other like strangers. In business psychology, there’s a term called win-win. No one needs to lose in the end if we both keep an eye on each other. From the bottom of my heart, I wish it’s going to be win-win between us.”
“We’ll see.”
Violet pulled her arm away, Elli let go of it. She waved the girl goodbye and walked into her suite. In the distance, she saw Elli stopping midway on the floor. From afar, she winked at Violet and formed her lips into a grin. She either whispered something across the distance or air-kissed Violet. Whatever. Back inside, she waddled towards her king-sized bed and fell down on it. The cushion padded her fall, Violet felt as if she sank into cotton clouds.
She thought about tomorrow, and the first mission. No info so far. Stax, ever the marketer, didn’t give away the slightest hint. Violet prepared herself mentally.
Whatever the first mission would demand, she was ready for it.
— ACT II —
Versus
40
Blogbuster Building, compound.
Ten am straight up.
The morning sun sent her brightest rays. The artificial trees flickered under the light and shook in the faint wind. All the vloggers stood in line as instructed by the Blogbuster crew. The contestants whispered and talked, either to themselves or the others. Although everyone tried to look calm and collected, there was a nervous clang in every word and movement. After all, they were still clueless about the first mission, and it was just about to begin. Hundreds of true fans cheered near the entrance, shielded by Stax Media security. They shouted the names of various vloggers and held signs in the air.
Bam smiled when he recognized his name on the paper carton boards.
“Bam into me.”
“Bam Fan Forever.”
And even the timeless classic,
“I want Bambabies with you. “
It put a smirk on his face and reduced some of the shiver. Fans always gave him the feels. He felt the urge to walk up to them and sign some autographs. The cute girls in the first row sounded like sirens luring him in.
Bam, come to us.
Bammie, please, just one signature.
He almost stepped out of line when a crimson limousine came to a screeching halt before the compound. The door opened up, Roman Stax stepped out, followed by Laci Steem. He wore his trademark smoking-colored in dark crimson, while Laci was bursting out with a flower power dress from the seventies covered with sci-fi Anime characters. A contrast as stark as light and the dark side, but then again, this was showbiz. Anything could happen.
Roman pranced pass the swooning crowds of fans, waved his ‘good morning’ gesture and flashed everyone with his toothpaste teeth. He stopped before the vlogger line and gave them a salute.
“Good morning, you early risers. I hope you had a good night sleep, because you’ll need your body cells to be wakey wakey from now on.”
He paused and made eye contact with every vlogger.
“Everyone downloaded their Vorb apps?”
The vloggers held up their arms and revealed the glossy eScroll bracelets wrapped around their wrists. Roman smiled.
“Good, let’s start this baby up.”
He snapped his fingers. Two crew members carried a crate and opened it before everyone’s prying eyes. Bam heard a humming noise. It reminded him of a drone, like the one he crashed into. But instead of quadcopters with beep sounds, he saw a couple of snowball-shaped devices ascending from the metal crate.
Video orbs. Or Vorbs, as Stax branded them.
They lifted into midair and circled above the vloggers’ heads like vultures. Roman wiped his hands.
“From now on, you’re going to use these little babies. Everyone of you gets assigned their own personal Vorb. It’s both a mobile communication device as well as a camera recording the Blogbuster. In fact, the entire show will be live-recorded through these Vorbs alone.”