Incinerate

by Tessa Teevan

  My ribs are killing me, yet I can’t help but be turned on by this girl’s tight and toned body lying on top of me, no matter the circumstances. Her hands brace against my chest, and I groan at the contact. She mistakes it for discomfort, which, sure, is partly the reason, but I love the feel of her hands on my skin. It’s been forever since a woman’s touch excited me, and I don’t want her to move away. Unfortunately, she sits up, a worried look on her face as she looks me over.

  “Oh my god, you fucking idiot! Are you okay? Did you hurt anything? Oh Jesus, fuck, shit, fuck, do we need to go to the emergency room?” she asks, one question after another as her hands roam over me, inspecting every inch of my body. Almost every inch, that is.

  As her hand moves over my chest, I grasp her wrist. “I’m fine, Charlie. My pride hurts more than anything, and I might be a little sorer than usual tomorrow, but I’m okay, I promise.”

  She sits up, but her legs are still straddling my waist as she looks down on me. I can’t help but notice how beautiful she looks, even with the pinched pissed-off expression she’s giving me right now. Her dark brown hair is still in the long braid she had earlier, but strands have come loose and are framing her face. I want nothing more than to pull out the tie holding it in place so I can watch it fall down her shoulders and onto her sweet tits. The same ones that are directly in front of my face, swelling with every breath that she takes, and my cock twitches at the memory of them pressed up against me. Jesus, I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me, but I want this woman more than I’ve wanted anyone in the longest fucking time. I know I can’t—I shouldn’t—go there. Hell, with the way my dick is having massive bipolar disorder right now, I know I definitely can’t go there right now, no matter how hot she is and how badly I want to make a move.

  “You scared the shit out of me,” she whispers, the chocolate morsels in her eyes shimmering as she looks down on me, a curly tendril falling out of her braid and onto her face.

  Without thinking, I reach my hand up and brush the hair behind her ear. Fuck. I don’t know if it’s this girl or the fact that I haven’t felt a woman’s warmth against my skin, but she’s driving me crazy. Our gazes are locked, and if it weren’t for this damned brace, I’d be leaning up to kiss her lips right now. I apparently lose my mind, using my right arm to pull her down to me since I can’t lean up towards her. My hand grips the back of her head and I lead her in the direction of my mouth. She’s centimeters away from my face when she suddenly jerks out of my embrace and pushes herself off of me.

  Standing up, she gives me a dirty look. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you seriously think I’m some swooning girl that wants nothing more than to be in your bed?!” She starts scrambling on the driveway, gathering up the groceries and trying to get them back into their bags. She’s muttering to herself, and I swear I hear terms such as “pigheaded,” “assface,” and “insufferable jerk.”

  What the hell? I know she was looking down at me, just waiting to be kissed. I could see it in her eyes. Where the fuck did I get my wires crossed? Shit, maybe my brain did get a little scrambled when I hit the concrete, because I’ve never—not even with Megan—acted so erratically with a chick, and it’s beginning to piss me off.

  I have to roll onto my stomach and get up on my knees, where I brace myself against the car in order to stand. “Umm, a little help here?” I ask, causing Charlie to gape at me.

  She places her hands on her hips and lets out an exasperated sigh. “Help? Hmm, five minutes ago you seemed to think you were just fine all on your own. I’d hate to hurt your pride, Rugged Man. I’m sure you can figure it out all on your own.” With that, she gathers up the bags and heads inside, leaving me to wonder, Who the hell is Rugged Man?

  WHEN I finally get on my feet and make my way inside, Charlie’s busy in the kitchen putting away the groceries. I head straight to the freezer and grab an ice pack out of it because my ass is killing me. Sitting down at the kitchen island, I place the pack under my ass. She notices and smirks at me.

  “That’s what you get for being a jackass, jackass.”

  “Hey, I’m an injured guy. Have some sympathy,” I say, giving her my biggest puppy-dog eyes. I know the ladies can’t resist the sea green color of my eyes, but Charlie takes one look at me and rolls her own.

  “It’s your own damn fault. You’re like every other stubborn-ass man out there. You think you’re invincible and too prideful to accept a helping hand. Newsflash: You can’t do it all on your own, and whether you like it or not, I’m here to help you. So get used to it.”

  Now I’m starting to get pissed off. This girl doesn’t know a damn thing about me. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I know more than anyone that I’m not fucking invincible. I think I’m bearing the scars, dealing with the wounds of that. For your information, I got fucking blown up by a goddamn bomb. My best friend damn near lost his leg and three other guys also suffered injuries. Did you not hear Cohen this morning? I was in a coma. I could’ve died any second that I’d lain in that hospital room. So, no, Charlie, I don’t think I’m invincible, and until you’re in my shoes, you have no room to judge me.”

  Charlie stops what she’s doing and walks towards me until she’s standing directly across from me on the other side of the island. She places both of her hands on the counter, and her eyes bore into mine. “You’re right, Knox. I’ve never been in your shoes, and I never will be. I don’t expect to know what you went through, and I can’t even begin to understand how you’re feeling. How it felt waking up in the hospital, seeing Jace in his cast, or even reliving the bomb blast over and over again since it happened. You’re right. I’ll never experience that, and I’m sorry as hell that you did. But I did grow up with a father who came home every night after treating injured soldiers. Without him having to say anything, I knew when he lost someone on the table. I’ve been an Army brat my entire life. I’ve said goodbye to friends at the airport and had them come home by way of Dover in a flag-draped casket. Loss doesn’t just happen for you guys. It happens for the rest of us, too. Maybe not on the same level, but it still hurts like hell. So don’t you dare tell me I don’t understand that you aren’t invincible, because if any civilian can understand that, it’s me.”

  I’m a loss for words, because for one, I’m not used to a girl holding her own with me, and this woman has done nothing but go toe-to-toe with me. And two, I had no idea her dad was in the Army. I swear, I stick my foot in my mouth more times than I’d like to count with this girl and the reminder of her earlier suggestion comes to mind, but my foot is going nowhere near my ass. Shuddering, the memory of that sorority girl sticking her finger in that place makes me cringe. Sure, I know some guys are cool with that and they like it, but I swear my cock deflated the moment she touched me there. Never fucking again.

  “Look, Knox, we’re clearly incompatible. We’ve done nothing but piss each other off today—although I’ve certainly done nothing wrong. My very presence seems to irritate you at times. I’m going to make you some dinner and then get out of your hair for the night. Let’s just agree to be civil towards each other and this whole thing should work out just fine.”

  Intersecting my fingers, I lean my elbows on the granite countertop. I actually disagree with her. I think we’re more alike than either of us realizes, and it’s causing us to butt heads. Deciding to wave the white flag on this one, I look directly at her as I respond.

  “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I jumped to conclusions and I was out of bounds. I shouldn’t have said the things that I did.” Fuck me, this is the goddamn second time I’ve apologized to her in a single day and I don’t know why. I’m usually fine with pissing my women off. Not that she’s my woman. It’s just that for some reason I don’t like the thought of her staying pissed at me.

  She watches me carefully as if she’s assessing the sincerity in my words, but then her brow furrows again and I want to groan. “No, Knox, you shouldn’t have. But even more than that, you shouldn’t have been sno
oping through my phone.”

  Sighing, I know this conversation is going to go nowhere. I’m trying to apologize but she’s just going to continue to find fault in anything I say. The thing is, I know I fucked up, but this girl won’t give me any slack and it’s wearing on me. It’s easier just to give up and let her continue to think I’m an asshole. Hell, it’s probably better for both of us anyway.

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t have. We may be too different and we butt heads way too frequently. Let’s just do what we can to get through these next few weeks until Cohen comes back.”

  She looks at me but I can’t read her face. “Fine. Perfect. Pretend I’m not even here,” she says as she turns her back towards me and moves to the stove, presumably to start dinner.

  I sit on the stool for a few more moments, but she ignores me the entire time. I’m entertaining the idea of just telling her to have the organization send another volunteer, but the thought of having someone else show up tomorrow isn’t appealing, and I know she’s too strong to give up, even on me. Eventually I get tired of the cold shoulder and I leave the room without her even noticing.

  LYING IN bed, I can’t stop thinking about how messed up this entire day was. After all, I’m stuck in this damn house with nothing but my thoughts, especially since my TV, computer, and book aren’t doing anything to drown them out. It’s really starting to piss me off how much this is weighing on me, because a girl hasn’t gotten under my skin in so long. Not since Megan, and we all know how that situation turned out. I still can’t fucking believe she showed up at the hospital. Thank God she hasn’t shown up at the house. She’s still so damn beautiful and it hurt to look at her when she came to visit me. If Lexi hadn’t made her leave, I have no idea what I would’ve done.

  After Charlie brought me dinner into the living room earlier, she packed her stuff up and started to leave. I asked her to join me, trying to keep the peace, but she just shook her head and said that she’d see me tomorrow. Without even looking at me, she slipped out the door and was gone. Obviously she had no intention of accepting the offer of my olive branch, and the more I think about it, the angrier I get. Sure, she thinks she has some sort of idea of what it’s like to be a soldier, but just because you’re an Army brat doesn’t mean you know everything. Has she put her ass on line, gotten injured in the line of duty? Fuck no, and I’m beginning to resent that fact that she threw her daddy’s service in my face to try and make me feel guilty. That girl has no idea what it feels like to be laid up, to have a stranger have to come and take care of you. She has no fucking clue.

  Getting up from the bed, I head to the bathroom so I can take my pain pills, knowing they’re the only thing that will help me get to sleep tonight. I’m still feeling the effects from that fall, and I still feel like an idiot for trying to act all macho in front of Charlie. In all her anger, she left before she could be remove the brace, and I don’t have the energy to try and get it off one-handed. I’ll have to suffer through sleeping in it. Deciding to stick it out in the recliner because there’s no way I’ll be able to lie comfortably on my bed with this thing on, I grab my book and head towards the living room.

  It’s not long before the meds kick in and I start to nod off. The last thought on my mind is of Charlie Davenport, and I vow not to let her get under my skin any further, no matter how much of an asshole I have to be.

  DRIVING AWAY from Knox’s place, I’m feeling guilty for biting his head off in the kitchen. He was actually right, not that I’ll admit that to him. I have no idea what it’s like to be in the military, to be injured by an unknown enemy, or to watch my friends be killed right before my eyes. Sure, I could tell the way that Dad was affected whenever he lost a patient, but he never went in depth to tell me what it was like. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that, I guess. Thinking back on it, I know I shouldn’t have lost my cool so quickly, but that near kiss was unnerving. He’s been hot and cold since the moment I met him at the bar, and I’ve never liked a roller coaster ride. After assuming I wanted to sleep with him and then his trying to kiss me, the bitch in me came out in full force.

  Deciding that I need someone to talk to, I head towards Dad’s house. If anyone can give me insight on how to deal with someone like Knox, it’ll be him. I pull into his driveway and grab the notes I took out of my briefcase before making my way to the house. Ringing the doorbell so he knows I’m here, I step inside just in time to see him walking into the living room looking nice in a pair of black dress pants and a long-sleeved button-up green shirt. He looks surprised to see me, and I shrug my shoulders, knowing he’s wondering why I’m here. I cross the room to give him a hug.

  “Wow, Dad. You clean up nicely. Hot date, tonight?” I tease, and his face turns red. “I was just kidding, but is that a blush on your face?!” I laugh as the red deepens. “Oh come on, Dad. You can tell me.”

  He walks into the kitchen and I follow him, sitting down at the table in the corner of the room. Grabbing two beers from the refrigerator, he sits down next to me and takes a long swig from his bottle as he hands me the other.

  “It’s just dinner with a friend, Charlie,” he says, not looking at my face.

  I don’t care if it’s a date or dinner with a friend. I’m just happy at the thought of my dad getting out of the house and spending time with a woman in any capacity. “Is it a lady friend?” I ask, wanting to get as many details out of my tight-lipped father as I can.

  He runs his hand through his hair, ruffling it a bit, and for the first time I notice that it’s a little longer than usual. He’s been fortunate to maintain a full head of dark brown hair without a gray in sight. He always liked to joke that I should’ve had him going full-on gray by the time I was fifteen.

  “I’m having dinner with a Dr. Branch. You remember her, don’t you?”

  I’m racking my brain to place her, and I vaguely remember him introducing me to a woman with that name at the annual holiday party that the hospital puts on. “I think so, but I’d have to see her to remember her face. So it’s just a business dinner? Nothing more?” I can’t help my teasing tone, the nosy side winning out against the part of me that wants to leave him alone.

  “It’s just two friends who enjoy each other’s company going out to dinner. If something comes of it, then so be it, but I’m just seeing how it goes.”

  I lean across the table and give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m happy for you, Dad. You deserve to have some fun.”

  He smiles sheepishly. “So what brings you over here tonight?”

  Sighing, I bring the papers to the table. “I had my first visit with my new assignment today. It was…well, interesting. I don’t know, Dad. I might not be up for this one.”

  His brow wrinkles as he looks as me curiously. “Charlie Davenport, I’ve never known you to give up on anything. I’m sure it’s not that bad. What’s the problem?”

  I launch into the story, leaving out certain details, such as the massive erection Knox was sporting and the way he almost kissed me. I mostly discuss the way his mood seems to shift so easily and how upset he got when I mentioned his pride.

  Dad takes a drink of his beer and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. “Here’s the thing, Charlie. These are guys who are used to taking care of themselves and their fellow soldiers. He’s probably not used to being stuck on the sidelines, sitting at home, day after day after day. It must be killing him not to be in the gym, not to be training with his buddies, and he’s probably feeling cabin fever being stuck at home.”

  His words make too much sense, but I’m not ready to feel any sympathy. “I know, Dad, but he’s nice one second and a grump the next. And then he’s apologizing before I can even process being angry. It’s up and down, back and forth, and in one day I already feel the whiplash from it.”

  Dad smiles at me, his eyes shining, and I love that I can talk to him about anything. “I know, honey, and it’ll probably be this way for a while. The pain medication can mess with your emotions and moods. And the
helplessness and loneliness can do a number on an injured patient. I know you’re damn stubborn, but try and be patient with him. It sounds like he needs it. And if it gets to be too much, take out your frustrations in the ring, okay?”

  I know that he’s right, and for more than the first time, I’m thankful Dad introduced me to kickboxing as a kid. After realizing what a stubborn kid I was, he was very adamant that I found a way to channel my anger and annoyance in a positive way. We’ve been scrapping together for nearly twenty years, and we have a standing boxing date every Sunday at the local boxing gym where many soldiers frequent. I’ve tried to drag Lucy with me, but she refuses to get her pretty face bruised and sticks to the regular gym where we take yoga classes together. I’m stuck sparring with guys at the gym who try to take it easy on me. It wasn’t until they saw Dad and me beating the crap out of each other that they finally started treating me like an adversary instead of a wilting flower, but Kale’s still the only one who comes at me full force.

  Finishing my beer, I stand to leave. “Thanks for the advice, Dad. I’ll try to be more patient with him. Will you be at the gym tomorrow, or are you having a late night?” I ask him, wiggling my eyebrows up at him, causing him to blush.

  He shakes his head, chuckling at me. “I’ll be there, Charlie. No doubt about that.”

  Leaning over, I give him another kiss on the cheek. “Love you, Dad. Have a good time tonight. You deserve it.”

  “Thanks, honey. I love you, too. Remember that when I kick your ass tomorrow.”

  Laughing, I give him one last smile and I leave the house, feeling much better than before. Wade Davenport is the best man I’ve ever known, and I hope Dr. Branch realizes that. For both their sakes.

  IT’S BEEN three days since that weird first day with Knox, and it’s no less awkward than it was when I left Saturday evening. Dad and I sparred the next day, and I know I was a little more intense than normal. He seemed tired, and I was curious as to how his date was. I didn’t want to push it, so I decided to let him tell me when he’s ready. I just kicked, jabbed, and even got in one good uppercut before he was ready to call it quits.