Lure

by Maya Sliver

  Again, nothing comes out of her mouth. She stands there like a mute suspect. A defendant who is being questioned by the attorney.

  I wait for a second then ask again. “Who were you with the entire night?”

  She flinches before meeting my stare. “I was with Blake, Dad. I… I mean we went to that pub.”

  Anxiousness sweeps through me. Surprise and shock all transform into a volcano threatening an explosion. Somehow, I keep my anger under control. It would make the situation even worse. This isn’t the time to scold her or lecture her about the rights and wrongs of life. She’s a grown-up girl now. I can’t baby her anymore. Yes, I know she’s my daughter and I’m overly protective of her, more so concerned about her making the right choices, I just can’t keep her grounded for something as common as going out at night. Kids of her age do these things all the time. Late nights, pubs, music, dance, alcohol, sex. It’s not uncommon to lose your innocence at the young age of seventeen, but I certainly don’t want my daughter to get laid at some rich brat’s car’s backseat. I also don’t want her to succumb to peer pressure. At the same time, I hate the idea of Carrie getting distanced from me, start hiding things from me, not sharing her experiences at school and other places.

  Shit. I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have stopped her from going out at night. Had I given her the permission, she wouldn’t have had to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night without my knowledge. Had I consented, we would have easily avoided this awful situation where I’m behaving as a judge and she an accused.

  Hell. I’m not going to let this situation affect my relationship with my daughter. I’m here to mend the damage.

  “How was the party?” I speak low, almost whispering as I near her.

  Her eyes gleam as she raises her head and looks at me.

  “Awesome.”

  “Did you have fun?” I stand closer to her, a mild smell of alcohol laced with a subtle whiff of nicotine enters my nose. My daughter has smoked and drunk during the night and here I’m still thinking of her as a young girl of yesteryears.

  “I had never had such fun before, Dad.”

  “Great. If you’re hungry, I’m making some bacon and cheese sandwiches.”

  “Wow! My favorite. I’ll just go and change,” she beams.

  “Yup.”

  Carrie smiles before marching to the staircase. Next, she’s climbing the wooden stairs to her room. Within moments, she disappears upstairs.

  I walk back to the kitchen and begin preparing breakfast, trying to keep myself busy and not letting any negative thoughts hover around my head. But no matter how much I try; my mind doesn’t drift a bit from where it was a few moments ago.

  I don’t want Caroline to be a nun. She can have fun with her friends. She can smoke or drink moderately. She can go for night outs. She can do whatever she wants.

  I won’t always be with her. She has to join university. She has to live alone and take care of herself which is very important for any girl of her age. In fact, this is true for any human being, any individual. You should take care of yourself. It’s your responsibility to not let anyone or anything ruin your happiness. You’re in charge of your destiny. I only want my daughter to understand these simple facts of a happy and content life.

  She has to learn how to take care of herself. This is only possible if I let her step out in the open sun, away from the protective shadow of an obsessed Dad.

  Chapter Eleven

  Blake

  “I can’t believe your dad wasn’t mad about your night out. Remember how he reacted when we asked him last time? Looks like something has changed in the past week.” I wink as we sit in the backyard of the school.

  Me and Caroline have been spending quite a lot of time together of late as the rest of my friends are busy dealing with breakups and patch-ups. Some nursing their broken hearts. While others help them heal.

  “Yes. He agreed and guess what?”

  “What?”

  “He offered us a ride to the pub next time we go out,” she smirks.

  “And you agreed?”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Why?” I narrow my eyes.

  “Oh, come on. I don’t want him around when I’m with my friends.”

  “Why so?”

  “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

  “Because you don’t want your dad to see you free, enjoying, having fun.”

  She falls silent for a while and then she speaks, “Perhaps, yes. I’ve always been an obedient kid. Letting myself go with the flow and behave like a wild cat could be shocking for Dad. He’s always seen me and treated me as a meek kid.”

  “It’s because you never showed you’ve grown out of childhood. Stop pretending to be someone you’re not just for the sake of keeping your dad happy. It’s fake and manipulative. Show your dad the true you. Show him who you are. A free-spirited young girl who’s ready to explore the wilderness of life. Talk to him.” I place a hand on the top of hers. Her eyes meet mine and we exchange smiles.

  By now, I can easily say that there exists a thin veil between Caroline and her father. A veil behind which Caroline is hiding herself. She is masking her true self from her father by being polite, obedient, and meek. When in reality, she is as wild as a willow growing in the woods, ready to experience anything she gets her hands on, be it smoking, drugs, alcohol, or even sex.

  ***

  We drive to Ben's house in William's old truck. Good that he let Caroline take his vehicle to the party, else we would have to hop on the bus to reach Ben's farmhouse which is again ten miles away from where we stay. This time around, it's only me and Caroline. Joshua is out of town. Since Candice and Katy live close to Ben's place, they can reach the venue on their own.

  We reach the farmhouse at around 11:30. The party is already in full swing and this can be noticed by strewn beer bottles on the lawns and loud thumping music blaring from inside the house, usually the popular stuff mixed with some old classics. We see people getting drunk or at least tipsy with a few folks in clusters sitting around outside either making out, dancing or drinking or just chatting. A few occasional drunk folks stumble around.

  Inside, it's normally hot and sticky and a bit gloomy. People are shouting at the giant TV screen that displays images of a soccer match. There are girls taking their shirts off.

  "Hey." Someone slaps my shoulder and I turn around only to find Joshua standing in front of me. "Hi. You here? I thought you're attending a family function.” I’m pleasantly surprised. Joshua’s presence is always comforting.

  "I had to but at the last moment I backed off, planning to have some time alone with my old friends."

  "Oh, that's great. So let's rock this party. Shall we." I eye both Caroline and Joshua in turn. Both of them smile and nod. Next moment, we are in the crowd of people, cheering and shouting for the men in red uniforms on the screen.

  After a while, when the game ends, we play beer pong. It's a fun night and the crowd is euphoric. It's not that difficult for us to let our guards down and have some real cool fun. We drink and smoke and dance.

  Several hours pass by, and I forget to keep track of time. If it was only me, I could have stayed all night long and returned home whenever I wanted to. But since it’s about dropping Caroline home before the sunup, I decide to leave.

  My eyes wander across the hallways, but I can’t find her anywhere.

  I’m searching for her everywhere until Paul, a fellow classmate, comes walking down the stairs with a drunk Caroline by his side. As Paul walks hastily down the stairs, I run to meet him halfway.

  “What happened?”

  “She passed out on the toilet seat. Good that the door was not locked from inside,” Paul says.

  “Shit.” I scurry to Caroline’s side and snake an arm around her back. “Carrie, wake up.” She doesn’t answer so I shake her silly until she wakes up and throws up all over my shoes.

  “Yuck!” Paul shouts and I feel miserable with my shoes getti
ng messed up with the vomit.

  “Chill. You wash yourself up and we’ll take her to the car.” Joshua finds us and offers his help.

  After cleaning myself as well as I can, I wish goodbye to Ben and rush out of the party.

  Reaching the truck, I fish out the keys from Caroline’s hip bag, open the door, and with the guys help haul her on the rear seat of the truck.

  “Thank you, guys.” I huff, addressing Paul and Joshua.

  “Do you want us to go with you?” Joshua asks.

  “No, it’s okay.”

  “One of us can…” Joshua insists again which I decline. I don’t want him to ruin his fun.

  “Have fun. I can manage.” I smile.

  “Take care, Blake, and call us if you need any help.” Paul strokes my back.

  “Sure. I will. Bye.”

  After a quick goodbye, I climb behind the wheel. Caroline shrinks again, passing out at the rear seat of the truck. I shift on the driver's seat and step on the gas pedal, driving away from the crowded farmhouse. I try not to think about William and how he would react to all this. To his daughter getting drunk and passing out. I know he doesn't like me and he's going to blame me for all this. But thank god, Paul had found Caroline in the bathroom. God forbid if anything wrong had happened, I wouldn't have had any spine left to stand up to William.

  Keeping my eyes on the road, I drive and drive and drive some more, ignoring the nasty smell that's lingering on my shoes.

  Chapter Twelve

  William

  When I open the door, I can’t believe my eyes. I’ve never seen Carrie in such a miserable state. She’s drunk to the point she’s not able to stand on her feet. She’s slipping in and out of consciousness. Blake held her by her waist so as to give her support lest Carrie fall because of the effect of alcohol running hard in her bloodstream.

  “Fuck.” No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop myself from muttering a curse. Pushing the door wider for them, I let them enter the house helping Carrie from the other side to stagger inside.

  Once inside, I lay Carrie on the couch. She soon passes out. I’ve never found myself in such a pitiful situation before. Nothing comes to my mind as I stare at my unconscious daughter. I hope it’s only about her getting drunk. I hope she’s not done something which she’ll regret later. Why the hell did I allow her to go out?

  I am in my thoughts when a female voice enters my ears. “I need to go now.” I suddenly drift my eyes from my daughter to the female standing next to the couch. I know my daughter. She would never do something that could make her accountable to my upbringing, to the notions I’ve taught, and all the time teach her. I don’t want Carrie to do anything which she’ll regret later, losing her virtue is one such thing.

  But I can’t deny the fact that alcohol plus the wrong crowd can alter someone’s thinking, though for a while, but that short while is enough to make you vulnerable. I don’t want my daughter to be weak and vulnerable and a slave of her desires where she fails to differentiate between right and wrong. Where she forgets all the lessons I taught her about morals and ethics.

  I want to find out the truth, need to figure out what happened to her at the party, what made her so drunk that she lost her own sanity. This is the first time I’m seeing my daughter in this state and in need of assistance to get back home.

  “Wait up there.” I pin the girl in short black dress at the entry point with my eyes. My voice is loud enough it instantly makes her stop dead in her tracks. She turns around and stares at me with her big round green eyes.

  “Don’t you dare leave the house without telling me what happened to my daughter at the party,” I roar.

  When she doesn’t speak, I chew the distance between us.

  “Talk!” I command and she flinches stepping backward.

  “What do you want to know?” she mumbles.

  “What’s gone wrong with Carrie?”

  “She got drunk and passed out in the bathroom. She wasn’t in a condition to drive so I drove her back home. Here’s the key to your truck.” She points the key at the top of the shoe rack.

  “That’s it?” I question.

  “Umm. Yeah. I think so.” She nods hesitantly.

  “What do you mean you think so. I want to know what happened to my daughter after she got drunk.”

  “I don’t know coz she wasn’t with me.”

  “She wasn’t with you? You both went together.” I narrow my eyes, anger churning my insides.

  “I mean it was a huge party, we lost each other for a while.”

  “And then you found her drunk in the bathroom.”

  “Not I, one of our friends, Paul is his name. He found her unconscious on the toilet seat.”

  “Shit.” I massage my forehead, a stream of cold sweat runs down my spine.

  “Who’s this Paul? I mean is he a…?”

  “Wait. Are you implying that Paul took advantage of your daughter?” she puts her hands out, her eyes shrinking.

  I never speak and she gets the answer.

  “I’d never believe that an adult like you could behave in such an immature manner. What the hell makes you think something like that about Paul when you don’t know a single thing about him?”

  “Don’t I know what happens in parties of these kinds? Everyone gets drunk. Alcohol and drugs flow in abundance. People point guns at their own friends. Girls get raped.”

  I know I’m sounding like old school but when it comes to my daughter I can be as old school as I wish. Because I know being such is the best possible way to inculcate true values in my daughter. To teach her the principles of life. And to keep her safe from the so-called materialistic modernization where sexual abuse and teen pregnancies are common occurrences. No matter how much they are frowned upon by the civil society, the government and the establishment.

  “I know the folks who arranged the party. They are all from Westlake and the neighboring high schools. All belong to respectable families.”

  “It’s hard to believe you when your dress and deeds itself reveal a lot about your own character.”

  “What?” She narrows her eyes.

  “It’s because of your bad influence that my daughter steps into risky situations for any teenage girl like her. I will hate myself if my daughter lets any random boy rob her of her innocence. And if this has happened against her will, I will smash the face of the jerk and strangle the fucking asshole with my bare hands.” I don’t realize when my words and speech cross the limits of decency. I turn around.

  “Your daughter is not a virgin, William. Against your preaching, she lost her virginity to a random guy the night Stella left the two of you.”

  A few words and they pierce needles in my ears. What the hell is she talking about? I turn around, my eyes burning with anger, regret, guilt, disappointment. My lips quiver to form a word, but it feels as if I’ve lost my ability to speak. I try to ask her what she is talking about, but before I can say anything, she wipes her eyes and speaks, “Talk to your daughter once she wakes up. I’m not answerable to any of your questions.” The next moment she runs out of the open door, and just as she leaves the house, the sky that was threatening a heavy storm since evening breaks open. It starts raining cats and dogs.

  Chapter Thirteen

  William

  Half an hour passes by with me sitting in the living room. I’ve shifted Carrie to her room upstairs, tucked her in bed and then again came down and sat on the couch, thinking about the past events. Summoning up some of the unpleasant moments of my life, casting my mind back to the day when Stella left us.

  Blake’s words still puncture my soul. If what she has said is true, which probably is, I’m not going to forgive myself for my failure. Yes. I’m a failure. I’ve failed as a husband. I’ve failed as a father. My eyes close on their own accord as my head falls back on the headrest. My mind wanders back into the past.

  It was a cold December night, a few days before Christmas. A beautiful Christmas tree shone and stood t
all in one corner of our small yet cozy living room, Christmas jingles playing in the background. Me and Carrie sat on the carpet watching our favorite TV show when Stella emerged out of the bedroom after a long phone call. I thought perhaps she’d been talking to her dad who’d been going through a rough period after suffering major setbacks in business and becoming almost bankrupt. But no. To my surprise, she was talking to Scott.

  I could figure this because just after the call, she announced her decision of leaving us and never coming back.

  I was stunned. I tried to talk to her, discuss with her, persuade her to stay with us. If required, I was ready to beg her just for the sake of our teenage daughter who’s at the cusp of adulthood. I wanted Stella to stay with us if not for me at least for Carrie. I was ready to mend the rift that had gnawed between us in the past few years if that could make Stella stay with us, with our daughter. I was wrong.

  All my pleadings fell on deaf ears. Stella had already made up her mind about leaving me, leaving her daughter just for the sake of possessing insane wealth and having a younger man like Scott in her bed.

  I couldn’t do anything when she packed her stuff and left us. There was a car waiting for her outside. I felt like a loser when I noticed the taillights of Scott’s car vanish in the darkness of the night.

  Stella had gone out of our lives. I felt dejected, angry, and confused. Confused about what had gone so wrong that she decided to leave us. I knew she wasn’t happy with me, but she loved Carrie. Then, why did she take an extreme step of abandoning her daughter?

  That night I was so lost that I didn’t even realize when Carrie left the house. In the morning when she returned and straightaway headed to her room, I asked her where she’d been the entire night. She simply said that she slept over at a friend’s place.

  The next few days were spent dealing with the new life that Stella had bestowed upon us. I got so busy handling things I almost forgot to ask Carrie about the night she wasn’t at home.