Lure

by Maya Sliver

  It sounds strange but with each passing day, Blake is getting closer and closer to us. She’s becoming a part of our family. After class, she often stays back and eats dinner with us. After dinner, me and Carrie both drop her to her dormitory. Stranger is the fact that I’m kind of liking this new occupation of mine where I’m not only her personal music teacher, but a cook, and a driver as well.

  I smile to myself gazing at the star-lit sky and the bright beaming moon. Dropping my gaze from the sky, I look back at the fire and dwell on some of my recent findings about my daughter’s best friend.

  Blake is an orphan. She has spent her childhood in foster homes. She has a long history of living alone, living by herself, but even then, she’s full of life and vibrancy.

  She’s a girl of high spirits. And it’s because of her liveliness, I believe both me and Carrie are able to strive for our own missing happiness. The one we lost to the ugly hands of mistrust when Stella left us, never to come back.

  I glance at the fire and the flames that lick at the wood when I hear the rustle of dry fallen leaves on the ground as a chair is pulled. I glance sideways and see a petite silhouette sliding into a chair next to me. She doesn’t speak and just gazes at the fire.

  The night brings in such a silence that we can hear only the crackle of the fire. It sounds like a crazy natural music.

  The night would have remained silent had I not cleared my throat.

  Letting out a contained breath, I speak, “You still awake?”

  In the light of the fire, her eyes find mine and she smiles. “You too.”

  “Sleep is often a distant fantasy to me.” I drift my eyes away from her face to the fire.

  We sit in silence, gazing at the dancing flames.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  I cross one leg over another and lean back in my chair. “Yeah.”

  “Do you think it’s good moving on?”

  “Yes, of course. One must move on from the past.”

  “Then why are you still dwelling on the past, William?” she asks.

  I stare at her. She stares back at me. For a moment, it feels as if our eyes have stuck together, lids have forgotten blinking.

  She’s right. Stella’s gone but I still think about her. This doesn’t mean I still love her. We’re done long ago. Long before she left me, us. But I still consider myself guilty of not mending the rift that has created between us. I still find myself guilty of keeping my daughter away from a mother’s love.

  “I regret.”

  “We all have regrets that doesn’t mean we don’t open our hearts to the beautiful things of life—blessings that are for us—doors that are open for us. Often, we are so absorbed in regretting our pasts, we become blind to open doors and opportunities that may lead us to happiness.” She places a hand on my shoulder. Her touch is tender and soft. Warmth radiates across my body as she smiles and looks deep into my eyes. “Life is beautiful, William, admire it with open eyes.” She leans forward and places her head on my shoulder, tender fingers gliding across my forearm.

  Together, we watch the fire until it consumes the wood and turns it into ashes. The fire is slowly fading, but despite that, despite feeling icily cold and lonely outside, I find warmth slowly filling my insides in the wake of Blake’s tender touches and caresses.

  Her touch is soothing. I like it and I hate it too. Hate it because slowly I’m losing control of myself, slowly I’m slipping into territories that are forbidden for me and for us. But even then, even after knowing that her nearness, her touches, her tender glances can land both of us in trouble, I can’t stop her from slithering closer to me. She raises her head and we both look at each other in the faint light of the extinguishing campfire before she brushes her lips against mine. Though the campfire is almost gone, a more blazing fire bursts within me the moment her lips touch mine. And then it happens. I kiss her back.

  I don’t know what possesses me in that minty moment that I overlook everything, ignore our years-long age gap, more so ignore the fact that she’s my daughter’s friend.

  And when I realize it, it’s already too late. Damage has already been done.

  Why the hell did I kiss her?

  Anxiousness sweeps through me. I quickly pull back, rise from my chair, and turn around.

  “It’s too late. You should be in bed,” I speak marching to my tent house.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Blake

  It’s been two days since we’re back from our camping trip to the Southern Hay and two days to my unexpected lip-lock with William. Since returning home, William’s attitude has changed a lot. He’s become even more fatherly and authoritative. During class also, he behaves as if he isn’t teaching a nineteen-year-old girl but dealing with a toddler. Why is he babying me? What does he want to prove by doing all this, by behaving fatherly?

  He’s not going to get anywhere by pulling this stunt. I’ll never see him as father, for me he’s one of the hottest men alive.

  Is he trying to suppress his feelings and desires just because I’m his daughter’s friend or just because I’m too young for him? Okay, it was me who kissed him first, but it was he who reciprocated the gesture, kissing me back. I can still feel his lips on mine. His sweet breath still lingers in my nose.

  Two days have already passed. Today is the third day when I notice no change in his attitude. I need to talk to him.

  “I want to talk to you,” I speak as soon as Caroline goes down to fetch herself some coffee.

  “Sure. Go ahead,” he replies arranging the sheet music in the folder. I know he’s purposely avoiding me, keeping himself busy so that I don’t catch him off guard, stealing glances at me.

  He turns back and reaches to the wooden shelf. A place where he keeps all his sheet music folders. I follow him to the wooden cabinet and stand flush against him. He turns around and I block his way. He doesn’t speak except glaring at me, his thick eyebrows forming a twisted V on his broad forehead.

  “Why are you behaving like this?” I hiss.

  “Behaving like what?”

  “Like you never knew me.”

  “I know you as my music student and…” His words trail as he brushes past me and reaches the piano, taking the printed music out of the stand.

  “And that I’m your daughter’s friend.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “That’s it?”

  “What else.”

  His reluctance to talk to me is grating on my nerves, but I keep cool.

  “We’ve kissed William.”

  He glances at me for a while standing near the shelf and then again gets busy turning the leaves of the music folder.

  “I’m sorry if you’ve drawn any conclusion from that unexpected gesture of intimacy. For me, it was purely chaste and platonic.”

  “Chaste? Where in the Universe is a lip-lock platonic and devoid of any sexual desire?” I blurt out.

  “What do you want?” He slams shut the folder and gazes at me with utter annoyance. It feels as if he is tired of me, my presence around him, in his house, but there’s something in his eyes that doesn’t let me move away. He’s alone, so damn alone, lonelier than me. Even knowing he doesn’t want me around him, I can’t get myself away from him.

  I want to tell him that he’s not alone that he’s desirable, that I’m dying to be with him.

  I edge closer and closer and when there’s no space left between us, I gaze up and look deep inside his ocean blue eyes. “I want you,” pausing for a while, I complete my sentence, “deep inside of me.”

  His eyes grow narrow. For a moment, it feels as if time has frozen. The room, the piano, the shelf where he keeps the music notes everything dissolves into absolute nothingness leaving behind the primitiveness of two yearning bodies.

  I don’t know how long we stand there without taking our eyes off each other, without letting any word escape our lips. Our reveries are broken by the sound of footsteps thumping on the staircase.

  �
�Hey. Coffee and Nachos,” Caroline hollers, stepping into the patio and placing the coffee tray with three large black cups of coffee and a plate full of Mexican snacks on the lounge table.

  We drink in silence except for Caroline talking about the upcoming plant science trip that Miss Maurice is taking all of us to.

  After coffee, me and Caroline come downstairs and then into the kitchen for Caroline insisted on me staying back and having dinner with them. Today, instead of William, she has taken charge of the kitchen, saying she has learned some new pasta dish on the Internet.

  “Aren’t you excited, Blake?” she asks, putting a pot full of water on boil.

  “About what?” I reply, leaning against the cold granite of the kitchen counter.

  “About the trip.”

  “Not as much as you.” I smile. “There’s certainly some reason for you to feel that much excited. What’s the thing, bitch.” Reaching out to her, I slap her shoulder.

  “Yes, there is.”

  “Won’t you tell me, slut.”

  “It’s Josh.”

  “You mean Joshua Hendricks.”

  “Yes.” She smiles, adding the pasta in the water.

  “I can’t believe this, Carz. You and Joshua?” My heart thrums as the surprise of Caroline and Joshua getting along with each other begins to sink in my brain. My jaw drops down and I slap a hand over my open mouth.

  “You got to tell me everything. When did all this start?” I grab Caroline’s arm and pull her out of the kitchen to the dining room. “You guys are getting cozy behind my back. I’m not gonna spare you for this.” I pull a chair for her before sinking into the adjacent one.

  “Nothing like that. It’s me who’s been crushing on him for ages. I don’t know what he thinks of me. He hasn’t asked me out yet.” Her gaze drops down to the classic walnut table.

  “Oh, I think you guys need to spend time together.”

  “Yeah, that’s why this study trip is important for me.”

  “Is Joshua Hendricks going?”

  “Yes, he is.”

  “Bingo!” I exclaim. “Now, come on give me a hug. I’m so happy for you, Carz. Joshua is a nice guy.” I open my arms and then we hug.

  I’m happy for her and for Joshua, both. They are going to be the most amazing couple of the Westlake High. Both are nerds. Both are introvert. Both have the same dream of going to the university, pursuing higher education. They have so many things in common, I wonder why they haven’t yet started dating. I mean it’s almost six months since the start of the school and since Carz joined us. What are they waiting for?

  I hope this study trip brings them close and by the end of it, they officially declare themselves a couple.

  Happiness replaces the anxiousness of my heart, but my head still feels heavy as my mind still dwells on the conversation I had with William a few moments ago. My own words echo in my ears. Shit. I shouldn’t have behaved like an eager teenager. What must he be thinking about me? But then he left me with no other alternative than to crudely communicate my feelings to him. That crude language and words were my only resources to make him believe how much I want him, admire him, desire him. Hope he understands me.

  William never came down. When Caroline went to call him for dinner, he simply made an excuse of a headache and kept himself locked inside his room for the entire evening till the fall of the night.

  God! This man is driving me nuts. How the hell am I going to deal with him?

  Me and Caroline talk till late night, about school, studies, boys, and especially about Joshua. She blushes and smiles as we talk about Joshua. She did ask me about Josh’s previous affairs, and I gave her a brief account of that, hinting that she shouldn’t be dwelling on the past as it only causes trouble in the relationships. She agreed and didn’t ask me more about his tentative affairs. Later in the evening, we binge on some Netflix shows before finally resorting to the collection of Harry Potter DVDs that Caroline owns.

  After watching one of the Harry Potters with her, I’m all set to leave when Caroline convinces me to stay for the night and I agree.

  Chapter Nineteen

  William

  Blake’s words still echo in my ears. What should I do? What price must I pay for kissing her? I certainly need to get her out of my head. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t ignore the waves of passion coursing through my veins whenever I think about the unexpected kiss we shared a few days ago. Her last words are acting like gasoline in the already burning fire.

  It’s either she out of her senses or I’ve gone insane. Fine. She’s a young girl of nineteen. Perhaps, hormones are playing mischievous games inside her body but what has gone wrong with me? Why the hell am I getting drawn toward her like a moth to the flame when I know this will only cause utter destruction? My forbidden affair with my daughter’s friend is not going to bring any good neither to me, nor to Blake.

  I can’t let this happen. I must chain my roaring desires and stop this utter nonsense right away, right at this moment. I will call her and tell her I can’t teach her anymore, make some excuse. I’m bound and determined to keep myself away from getting lured by her.

  Resolute, I walk down the stairs. When I reach the living room, I see Carrie curled up on the couch in her favorite fur blanket.

  Again, she slept on the couch. Throwing a glance at the human ball of fur on the couch, I march to the kitchen.

  I have the habit of getting up early in the mornings. My day begins with a cup of coffee and then I go for run. Today, I’m planning to go to the gym and do some heavy cardio workouts. It’s necessary to keep my mind pure of any intimidating thoughts that can weaken my resolve.

  Sauntering into the kitchen, I switch on the coffee machine and lean against the cold granite counter watching the greenery of the backyard in the faint light of dawn.

  Green eyes gleam in the darkness of my heart. Words echo in my head and I hear someone entering the kitchen.

  Carrie is awake. I must behave as normally as I can.

  Shooing the blond away, I plaster a fake smile and turn around. “You awa…” Words die at the tip of my tongue when a set of green eyes cloud my vision.

  Why the hell can’t I see any other color except green?

  “You?”

  She doesn’t speak only stares at me with sleepy eyes. She’s wearing nothing but a T-shirt and panties. How the hell did she have the courage to walk around with just a tee and a flimsy underwear?

  I quickly avert my eyes from her long nude legs and turn around. “Go and dress something,” I murmur, realizing that it was Blake sleeping on the couch and I mistook her for Carrie.

  I’m in my thoughts, trying to control my rapid heartbeat when her fragrance, perhaps jasmine, floats around me. A warm hand lands on my back. “I’m sorry. It got late in the night, so I stayed back. And this is what I wear for sleep.”

  Hell. She’s a vixen who’s testing my patience.

  “What the hell do you want to achieve by doing all this?” I growl hotly, turning around.

  “I want to heal you. Don’t call me selfish if I say I want to heal myself in the process.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. The only thing I can do is to drop you to your dormitory and bar you from visiting to put an end to this shit forever.”

  “Don’t call it shit. It’s beautiful.” She reaches out and cups my face in her warm hands. “Look at me, in my eyes and you will only find desire and admiration for you.”

  I don’t want to look into those sensual puddles of green. Because I know the moment I do it, I’m a goner.

  “Please,” she hisses, her plea sounding like a wail of anguish and despair. Hell, she’s as much broken as me or probably more. I look at her, peeking inside the emerald depths. Her eyes are glazing with a thin film of water. Her lips quiver. She closes her eyes and tilts her head, her lips parting.

  My resolve slowly tiptoes away. My hands get a mind of their own. I can’t stop my fingers from caging her delicate
face. I lean down and tenderly brush my cold parched lips against her warm ones. She opens up for me, letting my tongue delve deeper in her warm and sweet heat. I kiss her and kiss her like an insane passionate lover until the coffee machine beeps and brings me down from heaven to a world of unfulfillment.

  “This shouldn’t have happened,” I whisper, pulling away, her face still in the cup of my hands.

  “Why not?” she whispers naively.

  Chapter Twenty

  Blake

  When I was looking for excuses and devising plans to avoid the highly hyped plant science trip in the neighborhood of Winterlake, an unexpected and rather sudden onset of cold came to my rescue. Because of my constant sneezing, watery eyes, and runny nose, Miss Maurice exempted me from the trip. She was more concerned about other students catching an infection than me missing the crucial study trip. Crucial because according to Miss Maurice a plant science student is supposed to spend more time with plants and trees than in cooped-up classrooms and sterile labs.

  Along with Miss Maurice, Caroline, though disappointed, also got convinced of me not going with her. “Don’t worry, I’ll share the study papers with you,” she said, patting my shoulder, “Take care and get well soon.”