Reagan's Redemption: Book Eight In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series

by Cate Beauman

  The group filed out into the hall.

  “I’ll be prayin’ for your sinin’ soul, Jenny.” Mrs. Hendley walked off, with Pastor McPhee following behind.

  Jenny stared after her mother.

  “Are you okay?” Shane asked her.

  Jenny nodded. “Those papers you gave the judge, you really want us comin’ to live with you in California?”

  “I would love to have you.” He took Faith, grinning when the baby smiled at him. “Hey, Faithy. Hi pretty girl.” He kissed her forehead and snuggled her close.

  “Reagan, can you believe he’s back?” Jenny came and wrapped her arm around Reagan’s waist.

  She gave Jenny a small smile as Shane looked at her yet again, his guarded expression impossible to read, but the tension between them was unmistakable. “This is quite a surprise.”

  “Are you comin’ back to the cabin for dinner?” Jenny asked.

  “Absolutely.”

  “Great.” She beamed.

  “I’ll—I’ll settle Faith in back with me.” Reagan took Faith, clearing her throat when her arm brushed Shane’s solid chest. She walked quickly to the Pajero, strapping Faith in, listening to Shane’s familiar voice as he and Jenny approached the vehicle. She glanced his way as she got in the backseat, noting the size of his small duffle bag, wondering how long he planned to stay.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Reagan sat across from Shane at the dinner table picking at her meal, remembering to smile from time to time while Jenny shared stories about the things Shane had missed during his almost month away. They’d been home for several hours, and she’d done everything in her power to avoid being caught alone, fearful Shane would try to corner her to talk. She wasn’t ready for that.

  She glanced up, her heart kicking up a notch as she realized he was staring at her. Pressing her lips together, she cleared her throat and looked away as she reached for her water. She’d just gotten used to his chair at the table being empty. Finally, she was learning how to live without him, and now he was back—for how long she had no idea, but it would’ve been better for all of them if he had stayed in California where he belonged.

  She met his eyes again and looked toward the hall, craving the quiet of her room. She could smell the aftershave on his skin—the scent that was just now beginning to fade outside his room—and ached to reach out to him.

  “I’m gonna get more milk.” Jenny pushed back from the table. “Does anyone else want a refill?”

  “I’ll get it.” Reagan stood before Jenny could get up just as Faith started crying in the bedroom. “I’ll get Faith instead.” She moved down the hall, walking to the crib, smiling down at the sweet baby in the dim light. “Who’s awake in here?”

  Faith’s cries turned to whimpers.

  She reached in, picking her up. “Are you lonely, honey?” She snuggled Faith close, kissing her forehead, and frowned when her sleeve grew damp. “Uh oh. You soaked through your diaper.” She set the baby on the changing table, peeling off the wet pajama bottoms and took several warm wipes from the dispenser to clean her off. “You need a bath in the morning, but I think this will get us through until then.”

  Faith fussed.

  “I know. You’re tired, and this isn’t a whole lot of fun.” She changed Faith’s diaper, found fresh pajama pants, then pulled the soiled sheet from the mattress, bringing the bedding and baby with her down the hall.

  “Faithy, what’s wrong?” Jenny stood. “She’s not gettin’ sick again, is she?”

  Reagan shook her head, putting the dirty clothes in the washing machine. “She leaked through her diaper. I’m going to get her a little more bottle and put her back to sleep.”

  “I can do it,” Jenny said.

  “I’ve got it.” She grabbed four ounces of formula and left again, sitting in the rocking chair, playing with Faith’s tiny fingers as the baby closed her eyes.

  Moments later, Jenny walked into the room. “Are you plannin’ on stayin’ in here all night?”

  “I love rocking our girl.” She smiled. “She’s only going to be small for a little while.”

  “Are you avoidin’ Shane?”

  Her gaze met Jenny’s in the shadows. “No.”

  “You haven’t said much to him.”

  “You’ve said plenty.”

  Jenny grinned. “I guess I have been talkin’ his ear off.”

  “And he’s enjoyed every second of it.”

  “I missed him so much. We’re gonna watch a movie. Are you gonna come out?”

  “I think I’m probably going to go to bed. I’m tired.”

  Jenny frowned. “You’re tired a lot. Maybe you need vitamins or somethin’.”

  “I take my vitamins.”

  “Maybe you need more.”

  She smiled. “I think I just need a couple good nights of sleep.”

  Jenny stepped farther into the room, wiping down Faith’s mattress, and put on a new sheet. “You and me haven’t had much of a chance to talk either. I was wonderin’ how you were feelin’ about Los Angeles?”

  “I feel like I’m excited you have such an amazing opportunity.”

  “But maybe you don’t want to live in California.”

  She didn’t know what she wanted for herself anymore. “I want you settled and happy somewhere safe.”

  “You don’t seem happy. You haven’t for a while. Maybe you’re seein’ how much of a burden it is takin’ on me and Faith—”

  “I’m not going to let you finish that sentence. Go watch your movie. Be seventeen and don’t worry so much for a change.”

  “Are you sure you won’t join us?”

  “Maybe next time.” She waited for Jenny to head back down the hall before tucking Faith into her crib then went to her room. As she changed her shirt, she glanced at the phone that had yet to ring and the pieces of paper peaking from the small stack of bills she hadn’t gotten around to paying, and stepped back out, moving down the hall in the opposite direction of where the movie played in the living room. She opened the side door and walked out, pausing in the faint light streaming from the porch as she looked toward the trees. Being outside spooked her, but she craved the night air.

  Climbing the steps, she sat on the swing, staring off into the dark, finding relief in the cool brushes of wind across her cheeks while moonlight shined down from high above.

  ~~~~

  Shane sat on the couch in the dark, staring at but not watching the movie as he thought of the woman doing her best to avoid him down the hall. Reagan hadn’t said more than a handful of words to him since he walked into the room outside of the judge’s chambers. She’d looked so pretty in her sexy tailored suit—and more than a little surprised when their eyes met among the small sea of people. He hadn’t missed the way her mouth whispered his name as she stared at him, clearly stunned.

  He rubbed at his jaw, remembering her overly bright smiles at the kitchen table and the way she’d barely touched a bite of the food on her plate. In the four weeks he’d been gone, she’d definitely lost weight.

  He looked toward the hallway again, needing to talk to her. They both had things to say to one another, but the timing had yet to be right. She’d spent the afternoon and evening evading him, and he’d patiently waited, biding his time for the perfect moment. Eventually he would catch Reagan alone. His eyes locked on the porch when a noise caught his and Chase’s attention. He relaxed when he saw the chains holding the swing in place move slowly back and forth.

  Reagan must have snuck out the side door, assuming he wouldn’t notice, but she was about to have company. He stood, walking to the window, peeking out at her slim figure accentuated in her black yoga pants and white t-shirt as she stared off into the dark. Sighing, he opened the door, and her head whipped around. “Hey,” he stepped outside, closing the door behind him, noticing her shoulders tensing.

  “Hi.” She cleared her throat. “I thought you were watching a movie.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets, s
urprised that a month away could leave so much room for awkwardness. “I saw the swing moving through the window.”

  “Oh.”

  “Do you mind if I sit down?”

  “No. No.” She scooted farther over.

  He sat, rocking with her in their usual slow rhythm, saddened that none of the typical ease between them was there. He’d been gone, and she had changed. “So the appointment with the judge seemed to go pretty well,” he said, attempting to start a conversation. “It got a little dicey when The Gap stuff came up, but I think we smoothed it out.”

  “I can’t take any of the credit. You did all of the smoothing.”

  He shrugged.

  “It was nice of you to work stuff out for Jenny.”

  “The schooling and job idea came to me during my first flight east. Ethan helped me pull everything together by the time I landed in Lexington this morning.”

  “Hopefully the judge will see things in Jenny’s favor, thanks to you.” She sent him a small, uncomfortable smile, and silence filled the air again.

  “I didn’t want to force you into anything. Los Angeles doesn’t have to be set in stone. It just gives Jenny more options.”

  “She seems pretty excited.”

  The wind rustled through the trees, the only sound filling the tense quiet. Seconds stretched into unbearable minutes, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he blurted out.

  She looked at him, then turned away just as quickly. “I didn’t need to. Jenny told you. So did Chase.”

  “I’m not talking about the Emancipation in general. I’m talking about the rest—Faith’s illness, the fact that the court date was almost a no go.”

  “Faith’s mother changed her mind at the last minute, and there was nothing you could do to fix Faith’s situation.”

  “I care about those girls, Reagan. I want to know what’s going on in their lives. When I ask the one person I trust most in this world for answers, I expect the truth.”

  “Faith and Jenny are fine,” she tossed back.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “This is exactly why I didn’t say anything.” She stood, walking to the other side of the porch. “I’m sorry you felt like you needed to come all the way out here.”

  “I wanted to come out here.” He didn’t know how to talk to this cool woman.

  “Everything’s under control.” She turned her back to him. “Everything’s completely fine.” She gripped the railing as her breathing grew ragged.

  “Reagan.” He gained his feet, aware that she was on the verge of tears. “I want to help you.”

  “I’m okay. Really,” she shuddered out. “I’ve been handling everything on my own.”

  “But you don’t have to.”

  She covered her face and started crying.

  “Hey.”

  She moved toward the stairs.

  “Hey.” He snagged her arm before she could walk away and shut him out again. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

  She sagged against him, crying harder.

  “Come here,” he said again, lifting her, taking her back to the swing, and sat, settling his cheek on top of her head as he ran his hand up and down her back.

  She rested her head against his chest, sniffled, but then lost her composure and sobbed some more.

  “We’re going to figure this out,” he murmured, sliding his palm along her arm, realizing her cool skin was covered in goosebumps. He lifted her and brought her inside.

  Jenny stood, her face full of concern, but he shook his head, moving down the hall to Reagan’s room and closed them in. “Let’s lay you down.” He awkwardly pulled the covers back and settled her under the warm blankets. Then he crawled next to her, resting his head on the edge of her pillow, staring into her troubled eyes. “What’s going on, Reagan?”

  “I’m tired. I’ve felt a little off lately, that’s all.”

  He held her gaze, knowing they had a long way to go to get back to where they’d been before.

  “You don’t have to stay.” She wiped her cheeks. “I just need a little sleep.”

  “What if I want to stay?”

  She tried to pull back her covers.

  He settled his hand on her shoulder. “Where are you going?”

  “I need water.”

  “I’ll get you some.” He went out to the kitchen, and Jenny rushed up to his side as he filled a glass.

  “Is Reagan okay?”

  “Yeah. I think she’s a little run down.”

  “She’s been awful tired. She’s not eatin’ much either.”

  “We’ll get it figured out. I don’t want you worrying.” He was worked up enough on his own. Perhaps he’d been expecting Reagan to confide in him with a reluctant tear or two like usual, but she’d cried—really cried—as Chase had heard her doing last night. “She’s going to be fine.”

  “Now that you’re back I think she will be.” Jenny shifted uncomfortably. “There’s um, there’s stuff that’s been goin’ on—”

  “Yeah, I know. Faith was sick.”

  She darted him a guilty look. “I didn’t want you worryin’.”

  “I wish you and Reagan would let me decide what I get to worry about.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” He started walking away.

  “Shane, I wasn’t talkin’ about Faith. There’s other stuff,” she said in a rush, gesturing toward the stairs.

  He followed Jenny up to the loft, sitting next to her on the couch. “What’s going on?

  She sighed out a long breath as she crossed her arms, her discomfort obvious. “There’s lot’s of rumors spreadin’ around about Reagan. Shirley told me people are sayin’ she made some mistakes at work in New York and killed some little girl. That’s why she came here.”

  “What?”

  She nodded. “They’re also saying she had Henry burnt up so no one would find out he didn’t have black lung.”

  He shook his head in confusion. “What the hell does that mean?”

  “He was cremated instead of havin’ an autopsy the way Reagan wanted, but no one’s believin’ that. They’re real mad.”

  He jammed a hand through his hair. “Damn it, Jenny, why didn’t you tell me?”

  She shrugged as her eyes filled. “I got the impression Reagan didn’t want anyone knowin’. I think people sayin’ stuff about that girl—Mable, I think, her name was—hurt her feelin’s real bad. But I wanted you to know because it’s wearin’ on her. She doin’ her best to take care of me and Faith, but I see it. I’m tryin’ not to be a burden, but when Mommy said I couldn’t go yesterday, I cried and cried, and she just hugged me and told me that everythin’ was goin’ to be all right and I was hers and she wasn’t leavin’ here without me.”

  I’ve been handling everything on my own. He clenched his jaw with the weight of helplessness, remembering Chase mentioning Reagan slamming down the phone. “Dammit.” What else wasn’t she telling anyone?

  “She kept me strong when Faith was sick. She kept us together like she always does. But I think maybe you and me might need to be strong for her now with all this stuff goin’ on at the clinic. I imagine you’re probably mad at me, but I did what I thought was right. Now I’m doin’ it again by sayin’ what needs to be said.”

  He looked at the teenager, wise beyond her years in so many ways. “I’m not mad.” At least not at Jenny, but he was certainly frustrated with the woman who’d shut him out of her life so completely. “Let me go check on her.”

  “Are you gonna spend the night with her?”

  Luckily he’d missed Jenny’s nosy questions. “I’m going to sit with her for awhile.”

  She hugged him. “I’m glad you’re home, Shane. I’m glad I might be able to go home with you.”

  “Me too.” He eased away. “Let me get Reagan her water.”

  “Okay.”

  He walked down the hall, stopping in
Reagan’s doorway to find her sleeping. They wouldn’t be talking tonight, but he stepped in and shut her door anyway. He’d been waiting for this moment for a month—to stare at her beautiful face, to breathe her in. He set the glass down and lay next to her, running his fingers through her soft hair. Eventually she would wake and he would have to go back to his own room, but he was here to stay. Reagan was going to have to get used to that.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Reagan sighed, opening her eyes, refreshed and at ease for the first time in too long. Yawning, she snuggled in, savoring the warmth of her covers, then frowned, realizing the heat against her back was a body and the arm wrapped around her waist belonged to Shane. She rolled abruptly, and Shane’s eyes flew open. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Apparently not sleeping anymore.”

  She snagged his wrist, pulling his arm off of her stomach, and sat up. “You shouldn’t’ve slept in here in the first place.”

  He scrubbed his hands over his face. “It’s not a big deal.”

  He made her want and confused her just as much, which was a damn big deal. “Then I’m sure we can both rest assured that this won’t be happening again.” She tucked her hair behind her ears, still flustered. “How long are you staying, anyway?”

  He shrugged. “I guess that remains to be seen.”

  “What does that mean exactly?”

  “It means when things are settled around here, I’ll go home.”

  She wanted a timeframe, an exact day when she would have to watch him walk away again. Just because he was here now didn’t mean he wouldn’t be gone later today or tomorrow. Sighing, she closed her eyes and pulled her legs up to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees.

  He sat up next to her. “I thought you would be happy to see me.”

  “I don’t know what I am,” she admitted, her voice muffled as she stayed tucked in a ball.

  “I missed you.”

  She shook her head, not wanting to hear his declarations. “Please don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  She pulled back the covers and stood, briefly taking in Shane’s magnificent naked chest and sexy face, with his hair a mess and a day’s worth of scruff. “Go back there.”