Were You the One

by Jason Wallace Poetry

Miss Perfect

  If she wants to leave

  I can only let her

  What can I do to fight it

  But only say

  Whatever

  She's my angel

  And I know that I'm afraid

  But I would beg her to stay if I could

 

  Her face is such beauty

  Such perfection

  I stare til I'm almost blind

  But all of my affection

  May not be doin me

  Any good

  And I know I can't hold on

  Like I should

 

  She's miss perfect

  Perfect for me in every way

  But I'm so concerned

  That I no longer hear her say

  She wants me anymore

  And I don't know what for

  I'm afraid

 

  Usually when I'm lonely

  She has the greatest timing

  Telling me she loves me

  She always reminds me

  Of everything I could ever want

  Or need

 

  But now, oh now

  She's holding out

  And I can't figure what went wrong

  All the doubts are comin back

  And stayin so strong

  And it's hard to help it

  And maybe it's selfish

  But I've been wondering so long

  If everything she needs is right here with me

 

  She's miss perfect

  Perfect for me in every way

  But I'm so concerned

  That I no longer hear her say

  She wants me anymore

  And I don't know what for

  I'm afraid

 

  Every time I say her name

  I feel like I've found Heaven

  And I don't want that to change

  But if she's unhappy

  I have to let her go

  And I know

 

  She's miss perfect

  Perfect for me in every way

  But I'm so concerned

  That I no longer hear her say

  She wants me anymore

  And I don't know what for

  I'm afraid

  Afraid afraid afraid

  She's leavin again

  Afraid afraid afraid

  She won't want me and then

  I will have to move on

  And be alone

 

  Oh, Miss Perfect

  Doesn't think I'm worth it

  I am maybe now... on my own

  Never

  You said it all

  With what you said

  Though every message

  Gets re-read

  It's made me so tired now

  I want to go to bed

  If I could feel alive inside

  I wouldn't be so dead

  Every time I talk to you

  I feel an aching soul and an aching head

 

  I should give it up

  I should just move on

  I shouldn't listen to you

  That's how I do wrong

  You know I want you back

  Though I don't know why

  I'm so sick of games

  Too tired to cry

 

  Every empty invitation

  Every meaningless contemplation

  Every seemingly long conversation

  Is a new end to me

 

  You say I'm gonna come your way

  I have so much I want to say

  It feels like years since I've seen you

  Though it's just been days

  I gain some hope, I go astray

  I lie awake and pray to be saved

  From all this does and all this takes

  Every time we talk, my heart breaks

 

  I shouldn't text

  I shouldn't call

  I shouldn't answer

  You at all

  But I'm afraid

  I'm ashamed

  I've realized mistakes

  And I feel like

  None of the past matters so much

  As how I still feel

  My brain says to let you go

  But my heart is screaming for that rush

  That I still get

  When we touch

  And that that's all that's real

 

  I can forgive you for the other guy

  I can almost let go of what I took for lies

  I think I could still get lost

  In your eyes

  But I know I can't do any of that

  So goodbye

  Because you made it plain

  And you made it clear

  Any ounce of love you had disappeared

  I think maybe you want to keep me around

  So you know someone wants you

  Though he's a puppet; you love it,

  But can't let go to let your guard down

 

  If there really existed some little chance

  I'd give in and forget all circumstance

  I'd once again let you be my everything

  I could still ask you to marry me

  But that's gone

  It's all wrong

  You've moved on

  And you're not wasting away

  Like I am

  You're waiting for

  Any other man

 

  I want no one else

  Yet I can't have you

  Your voice hurts as much as your view

  I stalk your wall

  You stalk mine, too

  Every picture is some kind of memory

  An image painted in misery

  I used to believe maybe

  There was a meant to be

 

  And now all I have is a useless heart

  Empty and broken, torn all apart

  Sometimes I wish I didn't have to

  Mourn what we are

  And look back

  So far back

  To what we were and what

  We should have been

  You were all it took to lure me in

  I really did love you

  The way I said, the way I meant

  But so much inched its way in

  Until we're nothing more

  Than strangers with secret intent

 

  But for forever and a day

  I probably won't let go

  I know never

  Is too long not to be together

  And it's painful more than you know

  Because I'm the one that

  Knew never before

  As in I never meant

  To let you walk out the door

  And I never said never

  When you asked me back

  I just didn't answer

  And wanted time to face some facts

 

  Now never means to not have you

  But to spend each day and night

  Wanting to

  And thinking about how I have to hold on

  Because I can't make myself try

  To do more because it would feel so wrong

  So never as you will

  Is how I feel

  At least one of us does

  So maybe time won't heal

  I never want to really say goodbye

  But you'll never think of me like

  I think of you

  And I know why

  You never let yourself really think

  That I could ever be your anything

  Not since you decided you'd never do

  Anymore to make me want you

  So never say you need me again

  You'll never want my heart, my hand, or me as your friend

  Just know that never

  Means more to me

  It means never be hap
py, never free

  So I'll never really set you free

  Never... free

  All You Ever Did Was Pretend

  All you ever did was pretend

  To be a friend, and in the end,

  You just had to spite me

  You did it again and again,

  Living with no way to begin again

  When you walked away, you washed away

  Every second of everything of some kind of sentiment,

  And it’s frightening

  That there is now, once more, someone living for

  All of your shallow, false innocence

  I can’t forget, after all of this,

  Your smile, your playing at love all the while

  While I was wishing you were as into me

  As I ever was, so in love, so into you, so getting to

  Hoping for something more and something

  Worth waiting for,

  But all the force you poured on me

  Was more than the course of this misery

  Could bear up against your fake and empty dreams

  You professed, all you’d ever actually confess,

  Leaving me such a mess, as I know I could never mean anything,

  Any kind of memory of happy times past their prime and now vanishing

  You burned that bridge

  You turned against

  Even being friends

  Or making some little amends

  Don’t come here again

  Don’t claim intent

  Of going back somehow

  To that place you denied and set on fire

  And only allowed

  To disappear,

  To strangle me with fear and these couple of years

  Here’s to never knowing

  Why I let you into my life when you only ended up going

  Every word was a lie

  Every pain you placed can’t be erased,

  And no matter how much you try,

  You’re just all I no longer want but can’t deny

  That we had some good times

  We had some