by Ruby Dixon
Am I supposed to take it? “Um, thank you?” I try to pick it up with my good arm, but it’s a little unwieldy and the leaves keep pricking against my skin. After a moment of wrestling with it, I just set it down and wipe my now-muddy hands on my dress. “I don’t know what’s going on, Dakh. I really don’t. I—”
I go silent because in the next moment, he’s holding a dead bird out to me. A dead, roasted bird, feathers and all. I look at it with horror, and he frowns at me, tilting his head as if he’s confused as to why I’m upset. He rips the head off the bird—I think it’s a dove—and offers it to me.
With a squeal of distress, I stumble backward. “Gross! No!”
He frowns down at the dove (and dove head) and tosses it aside, then moves forward and takes me by the shoulders and kisses me.
Kisses me.
I’m so surprised I stand completely still—I didn’t know that Dakh even knew what it meant to kiss! The last time he tried this, he just pushed his mouth against mine. This is different, his lips gentle against my own. He pulls away after a moment and then studies me again.
It’s like he’s waiting for something.
I stare at him, confused. I’m supposed to be grasping something from this ritual, I think, but what, I don’t know.
Dakh looks frustrated. He moves to my side and picks me up, then carries me onto the white material again. He picks up the bush again and offers it to me once more. It’s definitely a ritual of some kind. Maybe on his world, people give women bushes instead of flowers like they do here…
Flowers? I frown to myself, glancing down at the flag underneath my feet. It’s almost like a picnic blanket.
As if he can read my mind, Dakh grins and picks up the cooked dove and offers it to me again. “Is…this a picnic?” He carried me and gave me food. A flower—kind of. A kiss. It’s almost like my romance novel—
I gasp. This is the romance novel. Dakh brought me here like Dirk brought Ophelia to the shore. He’s giving me flowers and food for a picnic, and while this poor mangled dove isn’t chicken, the concept must be the same in his mind. He even kissed me, just like Dirk and Ophelia did.
How did he know?
It is because we are connected, a voice says in my mind, loud and clear as a bell—and the voice is wholly masculine.
Oh my God.
17
SASHA
The dragon is in my head.
In. My. Head.
I stare at Dakh like he’s the enemy. Because he is. He’s been spying in my head for God knows how long, and he’s just now thinking to tell me? I feel hysterical with the anger and betrayal that’s sweeping through me. This is the worst kind of privacy invasion. Not only has he kidnapped me, he’s taken my body…and now he’s taking hold in my mind. Is nothing going to be mine anymore? Not even my thoughts?
You are upset. The male voice booms in my brain, even as Dakh cocks his head, a perplexed expression on his face. I wish I understood why.
Because it’s my head. You can’t take everything from me. I put a fist to my brow, frustrated. “Shit, now I’m talking in my head, too.” I give myself a little shake. “How long have you been in there? How is this even possible?”
When I gave you my fires, it connected us. My soul is now anchored to yours. You are my mate, and I am yours.
“You didn’t ask me if I wanted to be connected!” And then the rest of it hits me like a load of bricks. “Wait, mate?”
Yes. You are my mate. His eyes gleam with that gold-on-gold luster. My sweet female, you are my reason for living.
I can’t help but be a little flattered at that. “I’m trying not to be angry, Dakh, but I don’t understand so much. Is…is this why you stole me?” I shiver, thinking of that horrible day back in Fort Dallas. “Is this why you were attacking the fort? To get to me?”
I attacked the human hive to help my friend Kael and his human mate. You fell from the sky, and I plucked you from the air. The moment I touched you, I knew you were mine. The gold in his eyes seems to get even deeper. You would be the one to drive the ravens from my mind. You would be the one to make my thoughts clear once more. The one I can depend on to calm me when the madness hits. It’s all true. You soothe me.
“Madness? Ravens?” There’s so much I don’t grasp. I feel like I’ve been left behind in an important conversation. “You said Kael had a human mate. Kael is…he’s the other gold? Claudia’s gold?”
I do not know the human’s name, but she is the one with fire hair.
That’s her. That’s my friend. I press a hand to my lips, worried. “Is she…alive? Did they survive the attack on Fort Dallas?”
She is alive. Kael’s thoughts are yet clear. If she were dead, he would be lost to the madness once more.
I stagger against him with relief, not caring that there’s rain slanting down on both of us. “So she’s okay? Amy too?”
I do not know. Shall I ask Kael the next time I fly into range?
“Oh my God, that would be wonderful.” I gasp as I realize he’s known all this time that she’s fine and I’ve been worried sick, and I smack his arm. “I can’t believe you’ve let me worry for so long! That’s cruel!”
Rain drips into my eyes, and before I can wipe it away, he is there, brushing my forehead with his knuckles protectively. We have only been bonded since we mated and you received my fires. I could not understand you before.
Oh. “That was still two days ago,” I protest. “Why didn’t you speak up?”
His eyes flash dark. Because I heard your thoughts and they were displeasing. I wished to understand you more.
My thoughts were unpleasant to him? “Well, that’s what you get for snooping. If you don’t want to hear what I think, don’t listen in.”
I cannot help it. I am addicted to your thoughts. I need them. I need your connection to keep me sane.
“Sane?” That’s the second time he’s mentioned madness. “What do you mean?”
He touches my face again, as if he cannot help himself. His fingers are tender, and he’s so careful. Those of us that came through have gone mad. When I touch the minds of others, I feel nothing but chaos. Even my own mind has been lost for so long that I cannot remember much. The ravens have taken it all away.
“Ravens?”
They live in my thoughts. His eyes go even darker. They tell me to do terrible things. They want me destroyed.
I don’t like how black his eyes are getting. I’m also starting to receive flashes of weirdness from his thoughts, like his mental cup is spilling over. “It’s okay,” I whisper to him and put my hand on his chest. “I’m here.”
Immediately, the storm I’m sensing in his thoughts quiets. The gold returns to his pupils. My Sasha. You are the only light in this world.
Even though I’m angry and confused, I can feel the heartfelt emotion bleeding through, and I soften toward him. I can’t be upset. He’s trying really hard, and his devotion…okay, it’s really flattering. “Dakh, I’m glad I can help you, but couldn’t we have done the mental bond in another way? If you can talk to other dragons, why not reach out to humans?”
I can only bond with you because you have received my fires. And now that you have, you can receive my seed.
Eek. I’m blushing, and when a wicked smile crosses his face, I can tell that he’s picking that up from my thoughts. “You…you came inside me. Is pregnancy going to be a concern?”
His eyes turn so brightly gold that it’s like watching the sun flare. I would find no greater pleasure than to watch you grow round with my young.
“Yes, well, I don’t know that I’m in a hurry for that.” My cheeks are still red at the thought. “You can’t just take me away and not ask permission. You’ve snatched me away from everything I know.”
You would have died if I did not catch you.
“You’ve got a point. But you could have set me down inside the city.” And…then what? Starve a bit longer? Have to go back to Tate and “trade” for more food? I’m ge
tting angry when in reality, he’s saved me and brought me to a place that’s a post-apocalyptic paradise. I’ve got food and clothes and I’m safe, even if I’m still trading myself for sex. “Never mind. I’m sorry. I’m just freaking out because this is all new to me.”
I can feel in your thoughts that you are upset. I did not wish to upset you. His knuckle rubs along my wet cheek. I wish for nothing but your happiness. Ask me for anything and I shall make it yours.
“I know. It’s just…a lot to sink in.”
Do you need to sit?
“In the rain?” I laugh. “I just want to go home, back to the store.” I pat his chest, and he’s warm despite the chilly rain. Kind of makes me want to put my hands all over him. “I do appreciate what you were trying to do here. It’s sweet, in a weird, backward kind of way.”
His eyes gleam, and his hands go around me. He tugs at my sodden dress. You should lie down so I can seduce you like in your story.
I press a hand to his chest, pushing back. I’m blushing, but at the same time, I can feel a hint of fear spike through me. “I’m sorry, but I think you picked the wrong woman to grab as your mate, Dakh. I’m…” I suck in a breath, because it feels so awful to say out loud. “I don’t like sex. I don’t like being touched. Not like that.”
Dakh’s expression is impassive. His eyes eventually narrow, and he looks skeptical. When I touched you, I smelled your mating scent. You…did not wish to mate?
“It’s not that.” I bite my lip. “I knew what you wanted, and I, well, I figured I wouldn’t turn you down. It was okay at first, but…” I shrug. “I don’t enjoy things as they go on.”
I try to give his chest a pat, but he pushes my hand away. His eyes are dangerously close to black. You…endured my touch? You suffered mating with me because you did not wish to offend me?
Oh, he sounds really offended right now. The fear spikes again. “Dakh…”
And now you are afraid? His thoughts roar through my mind. Dakh shakes his head and then puts his hands on the sides of my head, cupping my face. I would die for you, my Sasha. How can you think I would possibly hurt you?
“Because your eyes are turning black,” I whisper.
I am angry and hurt that you let me touch you without your enjoyment. I want you to be pleased with my touch. I want you to crave me as I crave you.
“That won’t happen.”
But why?
Why? Do I tell him it’s because of Tate? Tate and his cruel hands and his way of making me feel like the smallest, sluttiest person on earth because I did what I had to in order to survive?
Before I can choose what to say, his eyes go wide and very, very black. Another male?
“You don’t have to worry about him,” I say quickly, trying to think of happy things. Hearts and kittens and rainbows. Anything but Tate. “I hate him.”
This male touched you?
Are we not letting go of this? Frustrated, I snap, “How do you think I broke my arm?”
Dakh’s nostrils flare. His eyes go black as night. Then he presses his forehead to mine. Give me an image of him.
His voice is so direct, so forceful in my mind, that I don’t want to, but it happens anyhow. An image of Tate flutters to the top of my thoughts. Tate, with that cruel, sadistic smile on his face, like the one he wore moments before he snapped my arm like a twig.
Dakh flings himself off of me and whirls around. He staggers forward and then drops to his knees, hunched over as if in pain.
I…don’t know what to do. I swallow hard, my throat dry. “Dakh?” My voice is a mere frightened whisper. I’m terrified. What if he’s losing control like he said he has in the past? It takes every ounce of my courage to step forward, but I put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
For some reason, images of ravens and feathers fill my mind. Dakh turns and faces me, and his eyes bleed from black to a dark, murky gold. He straightens to his full height and brushes his knuckles against my cheek, ever so tenderly.
I am taking you home.
“Do we need to talk?” I’m worried about the look on his face. I can’t tell if it’s disgusted or murderous or both.
But he doesn’t say anything. He just turns to dragon form and launches himself in the air. I know what’s coming next, and I’m not surprised when the claws come down and he gently picks me up, flying off. Nor am I surprised when we return to the SuperMart a short time later, just as the rain lets up. Dakh lands and very carefully puts me down on the ground.
I glance up at him, waiting for him to turn human so we can talk more.
Instead, his eyes go black and he launches himself back into the air again, flying away.
That was…unexpected. “Dakh?” I call out, and when there’s no answer, I try it in my head. Dakh, are you there?
All I get are more ravens.
18
DAKH
I am going to destroy every human in the hive.
All of them must die. Stinking, filthy, disgusting…humans.
In my head, the ravens laugh wildly. They mock me and my efforts. You thought you were so strong, so free. You are never free of us.
Never.
Never.
Nevernevernever.
My thoughts are black with anger. I hunger to dive over the human hive, to flame it to ash and char and to breathe in the greasy smoke left from the bodies. They deserve to be wiped out. Is it not the spoils of war for the conqueror to destroy the conquered?
It will not be enough that I find the human male—this Tate—and kill him.
I must make him suffer, like he made my Sasha suffer. I want him to know pain. I want him to know fear. I want to destroy everything he has ever touched, ever loved, ever even thought about.
All the while, the ravens laugh their delight. They are pleased to have me back. They love that my mind is no longer my own. They want chaos and destruction, and I am the one that will give it to them. I do not care that they perch on my shoulders and twitter their evil in my ears. I welcome it. They feed the black anger in my soul.
I fly over the human hive, low enough that they can see my shadow as I glide over. I take my time, relishing in the fact that they must be terrified. The klaxon goes off, warning them, and I throw flame from my throat into the air, deciding I will make them tremble with fear before I let them burn.
Below, a human woman races for shelter, her long skirts tangling in her legs. Her hair is dark and she is thin, and for a heart-staggering moment, I think she is my Sasha.
But my Sasha is safe back in her nest. This cannot be her. Even when I send out feelers to my mental tether, they feel distant. Sasha is a good distance away. She is not here in the hive.
Still, the sight of the female makes me wheel about abruptly, and I beat my wings to gain height in the air.
I need to think.
I circle the human hive once more, and then fly away.
Stay, whisper the ravens.
The sight of the human female has reminded me that I am drakoni once more, though. I have a heart, and it is with Sasha. I cannot be the mindless beast she thinks I am. I cannot kill innocent females and their young. I cannot murder and destroy all simply because I am angry at one.
This Tate will die. He will die slowly and painfully, but it will not be here in the human hive. He will not take others with him.
I must hunt him. Find where he lurks. Wait for him to come out of his hole. Once I have spotted him, I will snatch him in my claws and bring him to my Sasha so she can watch me rend him limb from limb.
Slowly.
This will require stealth. The humans will be on alert if they see a dragon nearby. I fly a good distance away, behind one of the tall, crumbling metal nests, and turn to my two-legged form. The ravens go silent once I do, and I walk resolutely toward the human hive—the place Sasha calls Fort Dallas. I ignore the driving rain and the mud that clings to my skin. None of it matters. I pay no attention to the stink of their hive, or the noise that seems to flow endlessly f
rom the wild minds of my people nearby. I make it to the metal barrier and climb it, then lie flat atop one of the rusted hulks so I can watch the people below.
I scan the human faces, looking for one in particular. I will not rest until I find him.
His days are few. My claws dig into the metal at the pleasing thought.
SASHA
Dakh’s gone for hours on end and I’m alone at the store. I don’t know what to think. I’m miserable at the thought of being the cause of his mind to snap again. And I’m still upset that we’re mentally linked and he didn’t tell me. Most of all I’m scared, lonely, and frightened.
I hate this. I hate that even now, Tate’s ruining my life.
My note to Emma has been untouched, and I write her another just because it’s either that or another seventeen pages of Sudoku or crosswords. I need the distraction of speaking to another human being, even if it’s only on paper. So I tell her all about Dakh and what I know. That he’s my boyfriend—in a way—and he used to be crazy, but he’s better now.
Except I don’t know if that’s the truth anymore, so I end up wadding up the letter and throwing it away. Maybe being mated to me has driven Dakh to madness and I’ll never see him again.
I’m so terrified of being abandoned again. Once upon a time, if you would have told me that security was the most important thing in the world, I would have laughed. But it’s what I crave more than anything. I want to know that I’m safe and protected. I want to know that I’m loved. I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything’s going to be okay, and that it actually will be okay. That it won’t just be a lie.
That someone will love me enough to stay with me.
I curl up in my blankets and blow out the scented candle I’m using as a light source. I’ll have to figure out something to do, but for tonight, I just want to wallow. Claudia would tell me to get off my ass and do something about my misery, but she’s not here. I’m all alone.