Butterface

by Press, Callie

  Tommy Joe knew all this, so he told her he wouldn’t be over till about midnight just in case. Mama and Daddy were both right on schedule, except Daddy dozed off and woke himself up when his beer slipped out of his hand and foam shot up all over him. The news wasn’t even over yet, but the mess led to a quick and grumbly early bedtime for both of them.

  She gave them about 10 minutes to become sound, retouching the cover-up over her hickey while she waited. Then she slipped on a jacket, grabbed her bundle, and quietly crept out the front door; even though it was farther from the barn, the back door was too squeaky and loud.

  Luckily the dogs stayed quiet as she slipped down along the side of the house into the backyard. After that they couldn’t see her, so she just jogged out to the barn and scampered up to their hidey-hole in the loft hayrick. There she rolled out her blanket, which was a luxury they rarely attempted. It was hard to hide—more than once Mother had noticed a stray piece of alfalfa in the wash or on the floor. It wasn’t exactly unusual in their house, but it had made Janie paranoid all the same.

  This time, she had other surprises, too. She had managed to sneak four of daddy’s beers over the last couple weeks without him noticing, and she had kept them in the cool root cellar. She had also foraged most of a bottle of wine, and had brought out two of the water glasses from the kitchen, all safely wrapped in the blanket.

  She was doubly glad that they had the secret hiding place, because it was a perfect excuse to avoid candles and remain in the darkness, especially for such a romantic and significant evening—even Dumb Luther wasn’t fool enough to light a candle in a hayloft.

  And then she heard his code. They made little rat sounds to each other, one of their inside jokes. At first she was worried that one of them would mistake a real rat for the other one, but soon enough they became familiar with the other’s rat sounds. She’d know Tommy Joe’s ‘rat’ anywhere. She answered and heard him start up the steps of the ladder.

  He was finally here. She was finally willing, and he was finally here.

  He was going to be safe. She was going to marry him.

  Everything was going to be all right.

  God is good. Everything’s gonna be all right.

  ~~~

  Tommy Joe could hardly believe it. All he’d thought about, all day, was that Janie was planning to go all the way tonight, after he’d been honestly trying to convince her to for over six months. He surprised himself by thinking so much about it while he was working—in fact, he had thought about nothing else ever since he hung up the phone last night.

  He still felt terrible about what he had done to Janie last time. The one thing he had never wanted to do was hurt her, and sure enough, that’s what he had done. It’s like she was always telling him: his lust really was troublesome.

  Now he had seen it firsthand, for himself. So now why in tarnation did she change her mind? Was she doubtful about whether it was sinful or not? That wasn’t like her a bit. But he knew it wasn’t her lust; he was pretty sure she didn’t have any, which he reckoned was probably good thing considering how fine looking she was. He didn’t know much, but he knew he was lucky she wanted to be with him.

  So he’d be God damned if he wasn’t gonna try and do right by her, even when she was scared, like now. She was just addled; what happened to Bobby Joe had shaken everybody in town. Tommy Joe knew that he had to stick to the principles that Janie could respect, and even though he hated it, he was going to be solid for her in her moment of weakness. He was gonna prove he could be a good husband to her, a good Christian man like she deserved. Even if he didn’t really believe any of that, deep down.

  He rolled the barn door open quietly, just barely enough for him to fit through the crack, and he closed it again. He was glad there wasn’t much navigating to do, because it was very dark without a flashlight.

  Three good steps straightforward and he was able to go up the ladder, then he made his way over the hayrick to their secret hole in the back. The barn roof was well-made, but old enough that some slivers of moonlight came in through the slats; almost none of them were visible from the ground, but at certain angles in the loft they provided considerable illumination. He’d have to mention that to Mr. Anderson—once he figured out how to go about it. The way his luck went, it would end up coming out like, “I was up’n the hayloft with your daughter most nights this summer, and I noticed some moonlight comin in through the roof slats. At various places, which I seen at differ’nt times over the course of the summer. On many a night. Up there a-foolin with your daughter. Sir.”

  But for now the sparse beams of light were both good and bad: they were good because he could see Janie on the blanket, her face outlined by moonlight, her immaculate golden hair shining like an angel’s—and they were bad for the same reason. His resolve to help Janie remain pure started to slip in proportion to how much his pecker hardened up, and even just that view of her face was enough to make him slip fast.

  He sat crosslegged in front of her, close like always, so they could whisper and still hear each other clearly. She was dressed for the cold, and he really wasn’t, just jeans, boots, and a T-shirt. He reached out to take her hands, but she scooted over and snuggled up against him.

  When she spoke, it was a whisper. “Hey baby, how you been?”

  He put his arm around her and shrugged. “Been thankin a lot. Probly too much.”

  “Well, just stop that,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him for a side hug. She put her head on his shoulder and looked up at him, but he was staring at his boots, so she nuzzled his neck with her nose and tentatively kissed his throat. “We both been thinking too much. I love you, and we’re going to be together forever.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “That’s an important thing for me to thank about, ain’t it? How you gonna look at me in the future? I mean, if we just give in.”

  “I’m gonna look at you like you’re alive, that’s how I’m going to look at you,” she said, touching his chin with her delicate finger and turning his face toward hers. “And I’m gonna think, that’s my handsome man, that’s my husband, that’s the father of my children.”

  His face drew down into a frown, like it did when he was thinking about what to say. She stifled him by closing her lips over his, pushing her tongue inside past his teeth—forcing him to kiss her. She moved her weight against him, and he reclined with her, so she crawled atop him, straddling his waist, never breaking the kiss.

  His hands were gentle on her back, yet they still awakened traces of pain where she had been marked, but with that pain came arousal for her. However even as her kiss became more passionate, Tommy Joe’s response became cooler; and after only a moment, she noticed that his hands had not yet migrated farther south, like they always tried to do.

  “Are you chilly?” she asked.

  “No,” he said. “I’m fine, it’s just all this…”

  She propped herself up on one hand and looked down into his face, moving her hair to one side so it wasn’t falling into his eyes. “Listen to me, Tommy Joe. Tomorrow’s Halloween. You understand? Time’s up, baby. She’s gonna come for you and JimBob tonight or tomorrow.”

  Unless Old Pap had handled her yet. Assuming he kept the deal, after he had gotten what he wanted. She didn’t see him do anything resembling any ‘spell’ except the bit with the rag and her blood—no, she had to trust him. If she could keep Tommy Joe safe just until she knew Old Pap had dealt with things, everything would be just fine.

  “I didn’t hear nothing from JimBob today anyhow. His sister said he went off to the huntin’cabin the other night and he ain’t come home yet.” Again, he refused to meet her eyes looking away as he said, “I’m a-hopin she ain’t already got him, but I ain’t real confident in it.”

  Janie knew he meant Butterface. She sat all the way up, still straddling his waist. She got his attention back when she took her jacket off and tossed it away from her onto the blanket. She again made him look
at her with one finger and said, “Well she ain’t a-gonna get you.” She reached behind her as she gave him a devilish smile, her hands working at his belt buckle, and soon had him unbuttoned and unzipped. She laid her palm on his underwear, right over his package, which was completely aroused already. “We got a deal?”

  But Tommy Joe had his dander up now. “No baby, I know what’s right and what’s wrong. All’s I know is, if I give in just on account of bein’ afraid, I’d be better off dead. Hell, I wouldn’t be no better than Butterface. Ruinin you, ruinin your virginity, just for m’own selfish needs. That right there is what a coward does, not a good Christian man. Not a good husband or even someone who loves his girl. I reckon if I cain’t be with you right, I just won’t be with you, and if I die, at least I know I’ll die trying to be the kind of man that you deserve.”

  She felt his wonderful tumescence in her hand as she looked in his eyes, and the enormity of his decision, his dedication, overwhelmed her. She struggled not to cry. “You’re the most bullheaded man I ever met, Tommy Joe Barnett,” she said. “You’ve always been better than I deserve, don’t you ever forget it.”

  “Naw, I ain’t neither,” he said. “I’m a-tryin though. I reckon the good Lord’s gonna fix us all in the end anyhow, right?”

  He had been raised much more practically than Janie; to the Barnett’s, the Bible was good rules, and some nice poetry, but they didn’t hold with any of that End Times stuff. He just figured either it would all blow over like the fairy tale he still was hoping it was, or else he was gonna get his brain ruined by Butterface like Bobby Joe. Maybe he’d sit in front of the store with the rest of them, and him and Dumb Luther could exchange idjit comments while the old men talk about the weather and the fishin’ and the crops. He reckoned his Dad wouldn’t mind driving him down there when it was nice out. And maybe now and then Janie would bring her family down, and he’d see her little kids, and maybe she’d bring him a pie or something on special occasions.

  She laid down on him and hugged him tightly and finally started to cry a little bit, but she kept herself composed. “He ain’t got much work to do on you,” she said. “But I can be ever bit as stubborn as you are. If you ain’t gonna do me, I cain’t make you. But by damn I’m gonna be with you ever second til this thing is over and done with, one way or t’other.”

  Tommy Joe knew she meant it, so he didn’t argue, although he wanted to. He held her in silence for a moment, and then he said, “You know, we’re still one-for-one at your damn complicated boardgame. We could play a tie-breaker, that oughta eat up mosta the night. Reckon your folks would mind me sleepin on the couch?”

  She laughed even as she was wiping the tears from her eyes. “Yeah I reckon they’d be okay with that,” she said. “I might even let you win like I did last time.”

  He grinned and took her hand, dropping it only for the descent to the ground, where he immediately grabbed it again and walked her into her family’s farmhouse.

  ~~~

  This miserable little universe. Everything about it is cloying, backwards, basic to the point of imbecility.

  It will be pleasant to undo another one like this, now that the path becomes clearer.

  What an antiquated concept, hanging a universe in linear time. An incidental little side-stop, only to be caught in an accidental snare unwittingly implemented by an incompetent designer. At least it has a mystery; I wonder who it was.

  But it is over. I can finally start to end it.

  Now, tomorrow, tomorrow night—such pathetic granularity in this linear time. I’ve accomplished my task and I shall move on to the next one.

  Just one more little veil of uncertainty to remove tomorrow, now that I know these are the two, then I move on. I am hungry to eat another poorly built universe, and eager to build infinitely more and better ones from its ashes, just as I have done here.

  Chapter 8

  Janie didn’t let Tommy Joe win their board game this time, like she had last time, but it did eat up almost the whole night (and two pots of coffee). Janie’s parents didn’t mind Tommy Joe staying when they stayed out in the open like this; they knew he was a boy, but they also knew he had been raised right, so they were happy to have him over for breakfast.

  Janie and Tommy Joe didn’t stay long though; Janie borrowed her dad’s truck to take Tommy Joe home, telling them she’d be home late. She was going to help Tommy Joe man the Barnett Pumpkin Patch.

  Neighbors were few and far between out in the country. Tommy Joe’s parents, realizing this when Tommy Joe was just a young boy, went out of their way to make up for their lack of neighbors. When he outgrew trick-or-treating five years ago, his parents decided to pass out prodigious amounts of candy (and excess produce from their garden, for the poorer parents) at their roadside stand, and everyone in the county knew it. This meant that a Halloween night visit to the Barnett Pumpkin Patch had quickly become a local tradition, almost as busy as a food bank. By now it took five or six people to handle the traffic.

  Naturally, this was not their actual plan. They intended to hide out in Tommy Joe’s house, staying close and very visible to his parents. Both of them thought this was the best course of action to take, considering that Butterface seemed to do everything under the cover of darkness and away from any authority figures.

  This plan also, unbeknownst to Tommy Joe, gave Janie an easy out in case her stratagem actually worked and Old Pap had managed to dispel Butterface like he promised he could. All she had to do was make it through this one night, and whether or not her sacrifice had made the difference or not, she would have Tommy Joe and he would be safe and everything would be all right. Nothing was going to separate her from him until she knew that it was done, so all they needed to do was just hang out in the house until morning.

  However, by the time Janie and Tommy Joe got back to the Barnett house, Janie’s mother had already spoken to Tommy Joe’s Mama on the phone.

  ~~~

  Tommy Joe was used to doing hard hours on little sleep, and considering all the beer he would drink with his friends, pulling an all-nighter was nothing new for him. Janie never really had, as her parents were far stricter, early-to-bed, early-to-rise types. So by morning she was awfully tired, and Tommy Joe ended up telling her to take a nap on the couch while he helped with the little livestock the family had.

  She dreamed a vivid dream. She was chasing Tommy Joe through the woods under a pale orange moon. Janie could run almost as fast as he could, even though she never did and moved slowly since it looked more graceful, but she kept tripping over roots and losing her way, so Tommy Joe kept gaining ground until he was finally out of sight. This made her panic; she had a burst of uninterrupted speed and she came upon the huntin’ cabin just as the door closed behind Tommy Joe.

  When she threw the door open, she was looking into madness.

  Swirling, chaotic clouds, made of every color and colors she had never seen and could not name, formed a vortex that threatened to suck her in. She clutched the edges of the door and stared, just long enough to make out two forms which seems translucent through the insane vision between them. One was Tommy Joe, naked, on his back. The other—it could have been Janie herself, though she knew it wasn’t her—was also naked, straddling his waist and reaching behind her, holding his erection just as Janie had done the other night in her loft.

  “No!” Janie yelled.

  Butterface slowly turned the head that could have belonged to Janie toward the door.

  Their eyes met. In the dream, Janie’s heart sped up and her mind went blank. For a mere moment, she didn’t exist; then, when she was re-created, she was surrounded by the swirling vortex of unfamiliar colors and, still translucent, still on the other side of the bizarre light show, Butterface moved. Except for her indescribable and obscured visage, she was all but a carbon copy of Janie’s nude body; suspended in midair and stationary, she was nonetheless circling Janie counterclockwise facing her.

  I beg
in to understand, a sensuous, husky, enormous voice spoke in Janie’s head. It is finally unfolding before me as it should have from the start. I am afraid I cannot allow Tommy Joe to go unharmed, now that I see the worth of his seed. The damage is an unfortunate side effect I cannot help; your species is just too frail. But when the time comes, I will give you a choice. You can bear his burden, and allow him a normal life, at a great cost to yourself.

  Or perhaps, I will take his seed and kill you both. That has not been revealed yet. Whatever happens, do not oppose me.

  “Fuck you,” Janie spat. “He’s my man, and I’m takin his seed. You hear me? You evil”

  “Bitch? I’m taking his seed!” she yelled, sitting bolt upright on the couch and, realizing she was now awake, staring dumbfounded at Tommy Joe’s Mama—who was in her chair, not five feet away, quietly crocheting a blanket.

  “Someday I reckon you’ll have to tell me bout that there dream,” Mama said, without looking up or missing a stitch.

  ~~~

  So after an uneventful day, thanks to the phone conversation between their two respective matriarchs, Janie and Tommy Joe found themselves sitting in rickety, wooden, folding chairs behind Tommy Joe’s old lemonade stand. It had been repurposed to sell pumpkins and pass out candy, and of course, paper bags full of the excess produce that the Barnetts gave away. A tarp was staked into the ground and connected to the frame, making a sort of lean-to for rainy days. They had drawn the short straw that morning, so they had the last watch (which was of course the busiest time on Halloween night).

  The pumpkin patch was a large corner of two country roads, not even two miles from the Barnett house as the crow flies, on the far side of the western border of the woods that contained the fishin’ hole, the huntin’ cabin, and four or five other local places of interest. The two crossroads that everybody considered “town” was about four miles south of there, and Tommy Joe and all his friends, and in fact most of the townsfolk, lived between town and the four square miles in and around the woods.