Thanatos: Guardians of Hades Series Book 8

by Felicity Heaton

  Calindria took hold of the broken bone in his wing and straightened it in one swift movement.

  Thanatos roared against the stick.

  And passed out.

  Chapter 18

  Calindria kept watch over Thanatos, brushing her fingers through his thick black hair as he rested on his back with his head on her knees. He had been sleeping for what had to be a day, was peaceful now but had been restless at first. She pressed her palm to his brow, soothing herself with the feel of it. The fever that had gripped him had broken not long ago and soon after that he had fallen still and calm, his breathing levelling out.

  Her brave god of death.

  She bent and pressed a kiss to his brow as she feathered her fingers down his cheek, and warmth fluttered through her as his broad mouth twitched into a slight smile.

  “Never been woken with a kiss before.” His deep voice was gravelly, and gods, it was good to hear it again.

  His silver eyes slowly opened and met hers.

  “How are you feeling?” She stared deep into his eyes, seeking the answer there so he couldn’t pretend to be healed just to make her feel better.

  “Good.” He proved it by stretching his left wing without flinching at all and not a trace of pain showed in his eyes. “All fixed. Amazing what some solid sleep can do.”

  His smile was dazzling as he gazed up at her.

  “You do make a good pillow.” His smile held as she rolled her eyes at him, grew a little wider when he added, “And an excellent nurse.”

  She dropped her gaze to his shoulder and stroked the fresh scars there. “I wish I could have done more. My mother could have healed you.”

  “No offence, but I prefer you as my nurse.”

  “I thought about what you said… about my mother and the same connection I share to the earth.” She stroked her fingers through his hair and his smile turned lazy now, his eyes falling shut again. For all his gruffness and his desire to keep everyone at a distance, her god of death liked to be petted and fussed over. “Do you think that’s why they kept me in cages suspended from the ceiling of caverns?”

  A crease formed between his black eyebrows. “I had not thought of it, but it does make sense. If you had been in contact with the ground, Persephone would have been able to sense you, even at this distance, if she had been looking for you.”

  By his account, her family had thought her dead, her soul lost to them. She doubted her mother would have been looking for her then, but maybe the ones who had held her had kept her in a cage away from the ground just in case, because they feared her parents discovering she wasn’t dead.

  Calindria stroked her fingers across Thanatos’s brow and then cradled his face in both her hands, leaned over him and brushed her lips across his. He craned his neck and she kissed him properly, their mouths fusing as he reached up and wrapped his arms around her head, keeping her mouth to his. He groaned and she smiled against his lips. She liked kissing him like this, unhurried and gentle. It stirred heat in her veins and calmed the darkness within her, made it go still and drift to the background.

  Thanatos didn’t break the kiss as he sat up, twisting at the same time, his right wing brushing across her lap. He framed her face with his palms and kissed her deeper as they came face to face, as he moved towards her.

  Making her lean back.

  She surrendered to him, aware of where this would lead, wanting to be with him again, sure it would be better this time. Her eyes slipped shut as he broke away from her lips and kissed down her chest, as he sucked her breast through her top, and then drifted lower still. The heat the kiss had awakened in her grew into an inferno that burned up her blood as she raised her arms above her head, toying with the tips of her hair as he worked his way lower.

  She bit back a moan as he circled her navel with his tongue. It spilled from her when his wings brushed her skin, sending a shiver racing through her, and he tackled the lacing on her shorts. Cool air kissed her as he removed them and she trembled as he brushed his fingers over her mound and feathered his lips downwards.

  He paused and drew back.

  Calindria looked at him and frowned as she found him staring at her hips. When he glanced at her and dropped his head again to sweep his lips over her right hip, she knew what he had been looking at.

  Her favour mark.

  Thanatos used his tongue to trace the circular knot formed of three strings, stealing her breath from her, making her ache to feel his wicked tongue elsewhere. Her eyes slipped shut as he teased it and her, building that fantasy in her mind.

  When he broke contact with her, she opened her eyes, wanting to see what he was doing this time. He kneeled between her legs, his gaze downcast, fingers working to undo his leathers. She frowned as she noticed they were shaking, wanted to reach for him to offer comfort even when she wasn’t sure what was wrong. He drove the desire to ask him why he was trembling to the back of her mind as he peeled his black leathers open and freed himself.

  Gods.

  Just the sight of his rigid length had a pulse of desire shooting through her, had her wanting to rub her thighs together and moan. When he fisted it, stroking his hand down it hard, revealing the crown, she moaned.

  His silver gaze flicked to her, darkened as he stared into her eyes, his hand still firmly grasping his shaft. He stroked it again, a look of agony rolling across his sculpted features, and then again.

  She sat up and reached for it too, part of her wanting to stop him and the other wanting to know what it felt like. He tensed as she made contact with his hand first and then drifted her fingers across to his shaft. His eyes fell shut and he groaned, his hand stilling at the base of his cock.

  Calindria gently explored it, feathering her fingers up to the dark tip where it was the smoothest, glistened with a drop of moisture. She rubbed her thumb over the drop, smearing it into his skin, earning another husky groan from him. She stared at it, aching to have it inside her again, filling her.

  Her eyes leaped up to his.

  He growled as they locked and she knew he had seen the need in her through them. He pulled her hand away from his length, slid one arm around her back and hauled her to him, claimed her lips in another possessive kiss as he moved over her, making her lay back again.

  She moaned as his hips wedged between hers, pressing them further apart, and let them fall open. Another fierce wave of tingles swept through her as he lowered his hips and pressed his shaft against her, rubbed her with it in a maddening way. She lifted her hand, stroked it down his side, her knuckles brushing the downy feathers closest to his back. He moaned and shuddered, rocked harder as his kiss deepened.

  Before she could reach his backside to cup it, he eased his hips back and grasped his length, pressed the head between her folds and nudged it downwards. She eagerly raised her hips to meet him, the ache intensifying as her eyes slipped shut. A groan spilled from her lips as he eased into her, joining them slowly this time. Gods, she hadn’t thought it could feel much better than it had the first time, but this was bliss, ambrosia for her soul.

  If she could have this with him every day for the rest of her life, it still wouldn’t be enough.

  He grunted and eased deeper as he covered her again, reclaiming her mouth as he curled one hand over her shoulder and gripped her hip with the other, raising it off the ground. Each plunge and withdraw was heavenly, every long stroke of his length unravelling her more and more. She clung to his shoulder with one hand and reached for his backside with the other, slipped her hand beneath his leathers and dug her fingers into his buttocks.

  He growled and thrust harder, ripping a cry from her throat as his pelvis struck her sensitive flesh. She lost herself in kissing him as he moved inside her, as he drove her higher, as she stretched for release, desperate for it. When it crashed over her, stars winked across her closed eyes, her breath bursting from her on a cry he swallowed. He kissed her harder, thrust faster, each powerful one shaking her. Every plunge of his length into her was acc

ompanied with a wicked sounding grunt, one that made him sound wild and untamed, thrilled her.

  His grip on her tightened as he pushed her through the haze of her first release and towards another, and she clenched him as she reached for it too, cried again as it crashed over her.

  Thanatos tensed further with each thrust, his length growing harder inside her, thickening.

  On a low, vicious snarl, he pulled out of her and she gasped as hot seed splashed across her stomach, stared wide-eyed at his length as it throbbed and kicked just above her.

  Before she could process what he had done, he had reached into the pool, scooped up water and tossed it over her, washing away the evidence of his climax.

  He shoved to his feet, breathing hard, his hands shaking as he fixed his clothing and then ran them through his hair.

  She braced herself, aware of what was coming. It didn’t make it hurt any less when he turned on her, rage shining in his burning blue eyes. He looked at her damp stomach, sneered to flash teeth and paced away from her.

  As he glared at her, accusation in his gaze, the warmth he had made her feel turned to ice in her veins and she sat up, folded her arms over her stomach and looked down at herself. What had she done wrong this time? She cursed herself for thinking that. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

  Thanatos had.

  “Get out of my sight,” she bit out, ignoring the tremble in her voice and how her throat tightened as her eyes burned. She wasn’t going to cry over this, over him. She had done nothing wrong.

  When he just stared at her, a flicker of something akin to regret and fear in his eyes, she growled and bared short fangs at him, and raised her right hand.

  A wall of vines shot up between them, sweeping around to enclose the pool.

  Calindria pulled herself onto her trembling legs and stepped into that pool, sniffled as she waded deep enough that when she sat down, the warm water covered her breasts. She rubbed her stomach, cleaning herself, and then her legs, tried to shut out the world as she bathed. Her heart sunk as she sensed Thanatos leave, the tears she hadn’t wanted to spill rising to line her lashes now that she was alone.

  She drifted in her thoughts as she soaked, recalling that he had told her he had little control over himself at times. She wanted to know what event in his past had made him react like this whenever he was close to her, but at the same time she didn’t. A part of her feared that if she knew, her feelings for Thanatos would only grow, and she would be damning herself to a miserable life if it turned out that he couldn’t overcome this darkness that made him lash out at her.

  Right now, she was only falling for him. What if she fell in love with him and he still reacted this way whenever they were intimate, spurning her and making her feel she had done something wrong? That wasn’t the sort of life she wanted for herself, constantly made to feel bad, and to feel used and unwanted, guilty when she was sure she had done nothing wrong.

  So it was better to hurt herself now and spare herself worse pain later.

  She wouldn’t be intimate with him again, not even to kiss him, or hold his hand. This thing with Thanatos ended here.

  It was over.

  Chapter 19

  He was ruining everything.

  Probably destroying the best thing that had ever happened to him.

  Thanatos adjusted his grip on the long tail of the unfortunate beast that had taken the brunt of his anger, dragging it behind him across the valley. The Keres were long gone, but other creatures had appeared, and one of the large reptilian beasts had been foolish enough to attack him.

  He sighed, his left biceps stinging where the creature had managed to bite him. The wound was probably poisoned, burned like hell, but he didn’t care. The only thing he cared about was making Calindria see that once again he was sorry.

  For one sweet moment, he had been sure he could be with her without his past rearing up on him, clouding his mind and colouring his actions, but as he had drawn close to finding release, fear had gripped him and he had ended up spilling on her fair skin instead.

  And then he had made everything worse.

  He dragged his free hand down his face and groaned, curled his lip as he smelled the reptile’s saliva on his palm. He grunted and glared back at the dead thing. The light from the distant volcanoes shimmered over its iridescent scales. Maybe he should have let it kill him. He might have forgotten everything he had done wrong over the last week then, his mind wiped clean by the resurrection. Sometimes, it messed with his memories like that.

  Not that he had died in a long time.

  Too long.

  Would death relieve him of this emotional baggage? He didn’t really want to think about that, as tempting as it was. If it did, it would be because he had forgotten this life.

  And he didn’t want to forget the time he had spent with Calindria.

  He ducked as he entered the tunnel that would take him back to her, flexed his fingers around the reptile’s tail again and tried to think of what to say to her when he presented this peace offering. Guilt churned his stomach to hot acid that bubbled so fiercely he was sure he wouldn’t be able to eat a thing even when he needed to keep his strength up.

  Who could eat at a time like this? It felt as if his whole world was hanging in the balance.

  Thanatos stepped into the crystal cavern again and wasn’t surprised to see the wall of vines still in place or the fact Calindria was still safely hidden behind them. Water splashed softly and he tried his damnedest not to picture her naked in the pool. He had no right to imagine her like that, not after what he had done.

  On a heavy sigh, he dumped the dead creature in the middle of the cavern, next to the sticks and logs he had gathered from the black forest outside, and focused on getting the fire going. He held his hand out to it and blue flames engulfed the wood. Satisfied it would remain going, he pulled the dagger from his other vambrace and moved to the reptile, gutted and skinned it, and cut off large slabs of white flesh. He skewered them on long sticks and constructed a stand for them over the fire, rested them on it and looked at the vines.

  Calindria still didn’t emerge.

  He stood and sucked down a breath, blew it out and flexed his fingers. He was sure his peace offering wasn’t going to work, but a spark of hope still flickered weakly, pathetically, inside him as he strode towards the wall she had built.

  Rather than peeking around it, he stopped at the right end of it and turned his back to it.

  “I found food.” At least he thought it was edible. He would try it first, just in case the creature’s meat was as toxic as its bite. “Will you come and eat?”

  “No.”

  The exact answer he had expected.

  “You need to eat.” He needed to find a better way to break the ice between them. Telling her the reason he was so messed up would be a good place to start, but just the thought of revealing that part of his past to her had him clamming up and filled his mind with all the ways she would mock him for how weak he had been. So he settled for what he could say. “I am sorry.”

  “Oh. You’re sorry. Again. I tire of your apologies.” Water sloshed and dripped, and her anger hit him like a tidal wave. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever met you.”

  He winced. He deserved that, and he was sure she didn’t mean it. He hoped.

  Material rustled behind him and her scent of wild lilies hit him hard. He looked down to his left and she appeared there, a corona of crimson shining around her pupils as she glared at him. The damp strands of her golden hair fell around her face, making him want to brush them back. For a heartbeat, she looked as if she wanted to say more than that, wanted to give him hell, maybe even attack him, but then she huffed and stomped off, heading for the fire.

  Before she reached it, she locked up tight and pivoted to face him, causing her blonde hair to sway outwards from her shoulders, flicking water across the dirt.

  “You know what, Thanatos? You should be sorry. You should be on your knees, begging for forgiveness.”

  If anyone else had told him to get onto his knees, he would have laughed in their faces and then cut off their head.

  But for her, he dropped to them in an instant.

  “Forgive me, Calindria,” he husked, his brow furrowing and his chest aching as he waited to see if she would.

  Rather than giving him the absolution he desperately needed, she stormed away from him and sat by the fire, scowling at it. He wearily pushed to his feet, his body feeling as heavy as his heart as he sighed, as he realised that this time, it wasn’t going to be as easy to convince her to forgive him.

  He moved to the fire and sat on the other side of it to her, focused on cooking for her and cutting off pieces of meat before it charred. He offered them to her. She took them but she only picked at them, her gaze downcast as she nibbled small pieces of the meat.

  He ached as he stared at her, as he sat in tense silence with her, a cloud hanging over them both. All the light that had been in her eyes had vanished. His fault, and nothing he could say or do right now would make it better. He had been the one to extinguish the light in her when he should have made it shine more brightly.

  He was tainting her with his darkness, dragging her back down into the black abyss when she was doing her best to shun the shadows and step back into the light, to cast off her past and look to her future.

  Thanatos wished he could do that.

  He wrestled with the words again, sure that if he confessed the things that had happened to him, even in the most basic detail, that she would understand why he reacted the way he did whenever they were intimate. She would understand how difficult this was for him. He wanted to be with her, wanted to give all of himself to her, but he feared it at the same time. In the heat of the moment, when his past clouded his mind and awakened the instinct to protect himself, he saw her as a female who meant him harm.

  A female who meant to treat him as the demigoddess had.

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