Of Love and Deception

by Melisa Hamling

  ~~~

  Daniella laid in the Jacuzzi after washing and shaving. She reviewed everything that had happened, focused on whether or not Cruz slept with Meg. The woman was sick in the head. She lied about so many things and took away the joy Daniella once had. Pregnancy was supposed to be a beautiful experience—a sharing of the most intimate kind between two people. All of it stripped away—all but maybe the next six weeks. She closed her eyes and reached deep within her soul.

  Please, God, let me find resolution. Let me move past this horror. Tell me in your own way everything will work out and that Cruz really loves me.

  Like a prayer answered, Daniella’s heart suddenly lightened. Visions danced through her head. She visualized Cruz tossing and turning on the couch, unable to sleep. She imagined him punching the cushions, distraught, lonely, tear stained cheeks, his head between his hands as he lay prostrated. It was enough to cause her to pain for him. And that was enough to give her the answer.

  After Daniella dried off, she escaped the bathroom and slipped into the walk-in closet, in search of her favorite shirt. Cruz’s shirt. She couldn’t find it. She searched both her half-empty rack and Cruz’s side of the closet. She grabbed the stool, unfolded it, and climbed to the third step. She examined the top shelf and reached for a dusty bag in hopes that it was the shirt.

  Whew! She snatched the shirt and stopped when she discovered a notebook wrapped inside of it. She slipped it out of the shirt and stepped down.

  After slipping her arms into Cruz’s white button-up shirt, the one he used to wear under his blazer, until she claimed it, she leaned against the wood frame of the closet.

  Maybe it was wrong to open the notebook, but the temptation was too great. She opened it and read the first entry.

  Not sure why I feel compelled to write, but here I am penning my thoughts. All thanks to a girl, Daniella, whom I can’t keep out of my thoughts since our encounter at Designers, Inc. What is it about her! She drives me nuts, makes me wait for her call, then asks if I’m gay… Why does she torture me? Ha. But I’ve got to wonder why she agreed to go out with me that same night. God, I think I’m in love with her. Wow. Never thought I’d say that. Okay, maybe I’ve lost my scruples…

  Daniella chuckled. She skipped to the middle and stopped at a page with heavy ink spots.

  She tortures me. Her silence hurts. The avoidance, weeping and always in bed when I get home, only confirms the truth. Meg’s telling the truth. Daniella’s heart is with him. The kid is his, not mine. I’d have forgiven her, but knowing the child is his, how can I forgive that? Now I’m forced to confront her…

  Reading Cruz’s personal feelings, knowing he had believed Meg, angered her. She skipped to the next page and continued.

  She’s gone. She’s gone. She’s gone. Four hours later, she hasn’t returned.

  DANIELLA! WHERE ARE YOU?

  Each page was dated, but the page she read was also marked day/night 1. The following pages were also marked with a date and number.

  Day/night 2: I can’t believe you left me. Most of your things are missing. OH, GOD! She’s really gone, left me alone and broken. WHY?

  Day/night 5: Another night without sleep. I can’t find you. WHERE ARE YOU! You haven’t been to work. Parker doesn’t say much. Nobody will tell me anything. Why do they hate me? What did you tell them, Daniella?

  Day/night 10: I’d rather be dead than living this hell. My only connection with you is by your scent on the pillows, your towels, and the wedding pictures lying on the floor. God, you’re so beautiful. I thought I’d have you for the rest of my life. I never imagined our lives would turn out this way. Never!!!!

  Daniella skipped further ahead.

  Days and nights all blend together. Everything has been a blur. I was put out at work today—forced to answer questions about you. Lori dropped by and drilled me. “What if it’s yours Cruz? And you find this out after the baby is born and in the arms of the adoptive parents? And if it’s not yours because ‘asswipe’ used Blake’s sperm purposely?” All were good questions and after much thought about it, I’ve come to realize that I could love this baby no matter what. So I’ve decided to step in and stop the adoption. I have legal rights too.

  The following pages were blank. Daniella closed the notebook and held it against her chest. It was torture reading his pain, his agony, and the way he kept mentioning how much he loved her. What more did she need? She had her answer. Cruz loved her.

  She held her hands up, cufflinks against her nose, eyes closed as she wept, again. She had always sprayed his cologne on the shirt just to smell him. The scent still lingered and the memories came rushing back. Powerful memories that caused a high pitch sob to escape her lungs. Her heart was full of painful memories… memories of leaving, of the horrible fights, the turmoil, all of it.

  Without a doubt, Daniella knew she’d never love another man the way she loved Cruz. To smell him, know him, and to feel him again, seemed too good to be true after all the unanswered pleas she’d asked God for. She’d previously begged for this to all disappear—never to have happened. And now, the reality was overwhelming.

  “Hey, hey.”

  Daniella jumped, unaware Cruz had entered the room. She tried to calm herself, but the tears wouldn’t stop. She gasped uncontrollably, unable to catch her breath, unable to uncover her eyes.

  Cruz drew her into his chest after withdrawing the notebook. He cradled her face in his hands, touched his lips to hers. They were warm and seductive, unexpectedly tender. In a gentle motion, the crest of his tongue lavished her tongue. When he stopped, Daniella opened her eyes and met his gaze. Dark circles etched around his orbs clearly showed his increased stress and lack of sleep.

  Sudden feelings of guilt overwhelmed her. The floodgates opened. “S-sorry. I-I c-can’t s-stop crying,” she mumbled.

  Cruz held her steady. “I know, I know.” He stared into her eyes. “Do I ever know.”

  His gaze broke and he pulled her into him, enclosed her in his arms. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest and knew he, too, was overwhelmed. Slowly, his head dipped low, his eyes locked with hers, and their lips crashed together in great desperation. His tongue was so deep, so intense as he swirled it around and sucked hers deep into his mouth.

  He pulled back and watched her as he slipped his hands down her neck, over her breasts, and slowly parted the unbuttoned shirt.

  Daniella’s cheeks heated as his eyes fixated on her exposed breasts and her swollen abdomen. His fingers glided tenderly along the same path. He sat on the bed, drew her into him, and rested his head on her rounded tummy. In small circles, he stroked their baby.

  “Damn, I’ve missed you,” he said with a hitch in his voice. He stood, resting his cheek against hers, his hands slid up her sides, over her shoulders and down her arms, pushing her shirt off.

  “So damn beautiful,” he whispered, his breath warm and minty, wisped seductively against her ear, raising the hairs on the back of her neck. Then he stepped back. “Mm,” he groaned.

  His lips were soft and warm—she accepted them the moment they touched hers. He turned a little, opened his mouth a little, teasing in a way, but not purposely, and she drew his face closer, needing more. He combed his fingers through her hair, controlling each movement and turned her head whichever direction he chose. He pulled back to catch his breath and stared at her.

  Daniella stood silently observing him as he shucked his shirt, and kicked off his jeans, boxers included. A nervous excitement pulsed through her and tickled sensitive spots. As Cruz closed the distance between them, he captured her mouth in the sweet bliss of a deep kiss. A kiss she remembered. A kiss she desperately missed. Without pretense or defense, she surrendered, letting him take full ownership of her body, soul included as he pulled her onto the bed, both on their knees facing each other.

  Cruz’s eyes ran the length of her, head to knees and back to her eyes. “You’re so damn beautiful.” Inhaling deeply, he ran his tongue back up her neck
, across her cheek and then licked her lips. He sucked her bottom lip into his and reclaimed her mouth with sweet seductive plunges. He caressed her, and she clung to him, loving the strength of him as he curled one arm around her waist and stroked her with the other. He was careful not to be too aggressive and his touch was like no other, calming the darkness, soothing her soul, making her feel whole, complete, and… happy.

  He moved behind her, both still on their knees, and drew her arms up, his fingers feathering along her skin until he locked her hands around his neck. Her head against his chest, his lips against her ear, his digits trailing down her arms, she shivered. He drew her tighter against him, examining with his hands, and touching her softly. His knees between hers, spreading them further apart, dragging his finger slowly between her thighs, up, down, up, down and pushing one, and then two inside of her.

  She didn’t speak—her mouth was incapable of forming comprehendible words. It was the beating passion, the way he touched her and where he touched her, the gentle but deep pressure he created as he slowly pressed into her. Then his mouth was against the shell of her ear and a primal sound, so deep, so male, and so sexy came from his lips.

  He stilled, and slowly dragged his hands along her thighs, between them, over her hips, abdomen, across her chest where he crossed his arms and whispered, “Nobody loves you like I do.”

  Before she could respond, he pushed inside of her with slow, but deep thrusts that penetrated, and he impaled her over and over again.

  Sensations long buried resurfaced, assaulting and paralyzing her as pleasure overflowed and begged for release. Her entire body quivered and shuddered around him. The intensity of it stopped him. He made a sound, a deep drawn out moan and pressed his mouth against her ear. “You feel so good. I’ve missed your body… making love to you.”

  He squeezed her breasts and thrust forward again so hard her whole body shifted and trembled, but he stilled against her, his face pressed into her neck, his voice husky when he said, “I need you on top so I can see you while we fall apart together.” The warmth of his body was gone and resurfaced as he now lay below her, slipping inside of her as she straddled him.

  The pressure built and her vision went spotty. She rolled her head back and closed her eyes. Images of Cruz continually flashed, but it wasn’t his physical image she saw. All the features were his, but he was white as clay with wings of an angelic figurine. Each gentle pump of his hips heightened the vision, the sensation, the deeply rooted love she had for him and only him… pleasure poured through her.

  Cruz sat up and brought Daniella back to reality. She opened her eyes, and he greeted her with a wide-open stare. He pushed the damp strands of hair, clinging to her sweaty forehead, back.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked and shifted his hips in a way that caused her to shudder.

  Daniella whispered, “I’m seeing this white image and as I get closer, I see its wings and it’s an angel… and… that angel is you.” She gave a slight smile.

  Cruz grinned. “I am an angel... your angel, and you’re mine.” He shifted his position.

  She cried out, “And… and I love you more than any… anything.”

  Every sway of his hips and the way he grinded her body against his caused words to fumble from her parted lips. “Cruz… god, Cruz.” Her eyes closed and her head fell back. She could stay in this moment, the sweet pleasures he created within her—they were both like an ocean—deep, swimming and crashing currents of emotions.

  “Come back to me. Baby, look at me.” He slipped his hands around her neck and pushed them into her hair, then nudged the back of her head and coaxed her to look at him.

  Sweat trickled down her forehead and blended with her tears. She gave him a smile and leaned into his chest as he pushed deep inside of her and caused her to cry out in pure pleasure. The trembling of his body and loud moans reassured her that he too, fell apart and that he loved her as much as she loved him.

  Daniella pushed back when Cruz fell into the pillows, attempting to pull her down with him.

  She looked down at her rounded belly. “I can’t.”

  “Sorry.” He sat up and placed his hands over her abdomen, observing the protruding bump between them. He hugged her tighter and rolled her onto her back.

  Resting beside her, holding her close, he brushed the hair away from her face before placing his lips to hers.

  It wasn’t long before they both passed out, but stayed in a warm embrace throughout the night.

  27 - My Everything

  Warm fuzzy feelings wrapped around Daniella’s heart. Sunlight flooded their room, and she blinked several times to adjust to the bright light. She stretched each limb and rested her hands on her belly, enjoying the sensation of little heels and elbows stirring about. Cruz wasn’t beside her to share the moment, but she could hear a ruckus in the kitchen of pots and pans. And voices?

  Climbing out of bed, paying close attention to the voices, Daniella instantly recognized the man’s deep tone. She rushed to the bathroom, raked a brush through her tangled hair, brushed her teeth and then went back to the room to put on some clothes. But there was a problem. She didn’t have any clothes, other than the outfit she wore yesterday. They were all at the apartment. Crap! She rummaged in Cruz’s dresser and pulled a navy blue T-shirt over her head and slipped into a pair of boxers, which would have been too big, but her expanding belly held them in place.

  Standing in the entryway, Daniella watched the commotion of her mother, father and her long, lost brother, James, as they flipped pancakes, cooked bacon, and filled glasses with orange juice. A warm bubble of laughter erupted from her chest when James turned around to find her watching them.

  “Little Sister!” he gleamed and rushed over to embrace her in a tight hug. “Whoa there. I forgot about my nephew in there.” He kneeled down and touched her belly. “Hey there, little mister. Uncle James can’t wait to meet you.”

  “Or niece, James. We don’t know the sex.” Daniella rubbed her knuckles against her brother’s head.

  “Dang it. I hate when you do that,” James scowled as he ruffled his hair and pushed himself up. His breath hitched and he stared at Daniella’s face. Reaching up, he traced what remained of her bruises. The lines in his forehead deepened and his eyes burned with anger. “If I were there, I would have killed them both with my bare hands.”

  Daniella’s cheerful beginning faded as the horror of last week came flooding back. She hadn’t wanted to remember any of it. She wanted to go out back, dig a very large hole, and bury all of those distressful memories. Instead, she caved in, sobs escaping her and tears flooding her cheeks. Cruz came from behind, wrapped his arms around her and sat her down on the couch.

  “Dammit, James. Did you have to get her all upset again? She’s barely been able to sleep without nightmares and here you are dredging it all back up again.”

  “You son-of-a-bitch!” James spat, and stepped forward, waving his fist at Cruz. “What kind of fucking husband deserts his wife because some psychopathic bitch spills him a bunch of shitfuck lies?”

  “Who the hell are you to say anything? Other than our wedding, you’ve had no contact with your only sister, you little—”

  “I outta kick your motherfucking ass!”

  “STOP. Please. Just stop. It’s nobody’s fault. Can’t… can’t we just be family, and… and be happy we’re all here and alive? Please?” Daniella curled up against Cruz, and patted the empty spot on the couch next to her, coaxing James to sit. After much hesitation, he let out a heavy sigh and sat next to her.

  Daniella’s parents emerged, arms crossed, and threatening scowls on their faces.

  “If it weren’t for your sister,” Mr. Kurtz glared at James, and then at Cruz, “and your wife, I’d take both of you out back and beat some sense into your testosterone filled heads. You’re both grown men for Christ-sake. Act like it.”

  “The hospital psychologist said I should talk about what happened. That it would be ther
apeutic,” Daniella said softly. Not that she wanted to rehash the recent accounts, but if it would bring peace not only to her body and soul, but to Cruz and her family, then she wanted to let it all out.

  James leaned in and whispered, “Not in front of Mom. She won’t be able to handle it.”

  Daniella nodded. “Is breakfast ready? We’re starving.” She smiled and rubbed her belly.

  ~~~

  The rest of the day went smoothly. James and Cruz shook hands and apologized. After her parents left, Daniella rehashed the horrible things Meg did and how Meg was never pregnant. Cruz turned ten shades of green when she spoke of Meg and her intentions to deliver the baby, and then pass it off as her own and Cruz’s.

  James decided to leave after that. His mood shifted fiercely after discovering all that Meg and Blake had put Daniella through.

  ~~~

  Thankful to finally be alone with Cruz, Daniella waited patiently for him to retrieve his keys and wallet.

  “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise, sweetheart.” He held out his hand. “Ready to go?”

  “Mmm.”

  They drove along the coast where the tang of salt water settled into the evening breeze. Daniella let her head fall back against the headrest, her hair blowing to and fro. The warmth of the sunset kissing her skin reminded her of her first date with Cruz. Even his hand rested over hers, just as it had back then. She closed her eyes and let warm memories take her away.

  Thirty minutes later, the hum of the road and vibrations of the car came to a halt. Cruz’s warm breath curled around her ear as he whispered, “Baby, wake up. We’re here.”

  “Hmm.” She turned toward Cruz, pressed her palm against his cheek, and greeted him with a heartfelt smile and then a tender kiss.

  “Hmm is right. I want more of that, much, much more.” He grinned. “You ready to take a peek?”

  “Yes.” She sat up. “Oh my gosh. Did… did you rent this place?”

  Sliding out of his seat, and rounding the car to open her door, he took her hands to lift her up, and wrapped his arm around her waist, guiding her toward a beautiful, but simple ocean front cabin.