Before Ben (Wilde Ways Book 3)

by Cynthia Eden

  Like he hadn’t punched the shit out of one of the jerks in question because the fool had bragged about what he’d supposedly done with her. Not that Ben had ever told Courtney about that fight. Why bother her with BS? “You were the one…I competed with.”

  Now she looked back, a faint frown on her face.

  “Because you were—are—so fucking smart. You challenged me. You worked your ass off—yeah, I saw it. In class and out. You made me want to be better. You could drive me insane when you’d argue with me, when you’d go toe-to-toe with me in mock trial or in debate, but I loved it. Because I knew I was going against the best. You didn’t take crap from me or anyone else.”

  Her frown deepened.

  “You didn’t go to parties because you thought people would look down on you? Oh, baby, you have that so wrong. You were the one who should have looked down on the drunk dumbasses. On me. Because I’ll tell you right now, no one is better than you. You are the one.” The one I always wanted, and never, ever thought I could have.

  She hadn’t moved.

  “And for what it’s worth, I liked your damn bike with the white basket and that crazy-ass bell. I’d smile every single time when you came rolling through campus ringing the bell at everyone so they’d get out of your way. I thought you were cute as hell.”

  Now she blinked. “You were…laughing at me. I remember—”

  He closed the distance between them. Had to do it. His hand rose as he brushed away the tear drop that had fallen on her cheek. Courtney shouldn’t cry. Not ever. And maybe his new job would be to make sure she didn’t cry again. “Never. You made me smile because you made me happy. But sometimes, dumbasses don’t know how to convey things the correct way. With you, I never seem to do things the right way.” He wanted to kiss her. Wanted to hold tight and never, ever let go. And because he wanted that so badly…

  Ben stepped back. “My life has been easy.” He knew it. Fuck, yes. He’d had easy street, and she’d struggled, and it pissed him off. “My family has money. Shit, my brother made a killing with his tech security devices, and I have always had the support and protection that he and my whole family gave to me. I was lucky, and I know it. A roll of the freaking dice, and I could’ve had a different life. That’s the thing, isn’t it? We don’t get to choose where we’re born or who we get for family. Shit happens. Then we live that life. You, Courtney, have been incredible.”

  “Stop. Don’t tell me lies that you think I want to hear, don’t—”

  He hadn’t known about her parents. Hadn’t known…Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. “I’m not lying to you. I won’t lie to you.” He needed her to believe him. “I knew you’d be pissed if you found out I owned your building—you’ve made it pretty clear I’m not on a top ten favorite list for you. But the apartment was good. The rental price I could offer you was probably the best in the city. I wanted you to keep saving so you could open your own firm. I wanted you to get every dream you had. I didn’t do it out of pity. I did it because I respect the hell out of you.”

  Her lower lip trembled. “And not because you wanted to get in my pants?”

  “Hell, baby, I wanted that from day one.” Again, he wouldn’t lie to her. “But you staying in my building had nothing to do with sex. You’d turned me down over a dozen times before you moved in. And I’m sure you turned me down a dozen more times after that, too.” Tenderness pushed through him. “You’ll see, one day, I’m really not the enemy.”

  “Then what are you?”

  “I’m whatever—whoever—you need me to be.”

  Her gaze searched his. She seemed to lean toward him, and he wanted her to make that move. He’d chased her for too long. What happened next—everything that came—he wanted Courtney to make the first move. He wanted her to reach out to him.

  But she pulled in a quick breath and stepped back. “I’m tired.” Her long lashes shielded her gaze. “I think…I think I’ll go to bed.” She turned and headed for the nearest door.

  “Okay, sweet—Courtney.” He cleared his throat. “But that’s my bedroom.” And as much as he’d love to have her in there… “The guest room is on the right.”

  She stopped. Immediately angled her body to the right. But didn’t go in that bedroom. “I didn’t want to be another in line.”

  He didn’t see any line.

  “You always had girls lined up around you. And you never stayed with them. Except…except for Piper.”

  Piper Lane. The name pierced through him. Well, now she was Piper Wilde—his brother’s wife.

  “I figured you loved her. She’d pop in and out of your life, and you’d always seem so happy with her.”

  “I do love Piper.” He would always love her. “She’s my best friend. She has been, since Pre-K.”

  “You were hurt a while back…” Courtney’s voice was halting. “Because of…her?”

  “Because of a dumbass with a knife.” A bastard who’d thought Ben was involved with Piper. “He was obsessed with her. That’s one of the reasons I know just how dangerous obsessions can be. Why this mess with you scares the hell out of me.”

  He saw a tremble slide over her body. “I saw the scars on you.” Her low confession. “On your side.”

  “I have more scars than that.” Because the knife had cut deep. And the attack had been long. He’d been in the hospital for days. Courtney had sent him flowers. A balloon. Even a card. Get well so I can kick your ass again in court. She hadn’t come by, though. He’d wanted her there. Hadn’t he always wanted her?

  “She married your brother.” Again, Courtney’s voice was slow and hesitant. “Did that…I’m sorry if that hurt you.”

  He laughed.

  Courtney’s head swung toward him.

  “I love her. I’m not in love with her. Never have been. I’m glad that Piper married Eric because I know he freaking worships the ground that she walks on. He will always take care of her, and that’s exactly what I wanted for my best friend.” The fact that Eric and Piper had tried to keep their relationship secret from him? Uh, hell, no, that part had pissed him off.

  Courtney gave a slow shake of her head. “I don’t think I understand you.”

  “That’s because you don’t know the real me yet. You’ve just seen the surface. I think it’s time we both go way past that.”

  She bit her lower lip.

  He’d be happy to bite it for her. “I’m a cold-hearted bastard. I’m arrogant and demanding. I fight dirty in and out of court. I can use my charm to get most things in this world—and believe me, I’ve done it. I’m a terrible enemy to have, and I will do just about anything to get what I want.” So, yes, she’d been right to think he was a prick. To most people, he was. To her… “I can be more. I can be better.” It took all of his self-control not to close the distance between them. “I saw how terrified Piper was when that psycho was after her. I don’t want you feeling the same fear. I can keep you safe. I can help you. I can stand between you and any danger that comes.”

  “Why?” The question tore from her. One hand clutched her briefcase and one seemed to hold a death grip on her overnight bag. “Why do you want to do this for me?”

  She’d asked him before if he’d wanted to get in her pants. Hell, yes, he did. But helping her, protecting her, had nothing to do with the white-hot lust that stirred in him every time he looked at her. “Because the idea of anyone hurting you drives me insane.” When it came to her, he wasn’t quite rational.

  It was a truth he’d known for a long time. Ever since their days at Emory Law, when Gavin Donally had told a straight-up lie about Courtney going down on him…

  Gavin had been the one to go down—he’d fallen hard when Ben had launched at him.

  On that day, Ben had realized that when it came to Courtney, he had a problem. Maybe his own obsession. So, he’d started to play a role around her. Sure, he’d still asked her out every now and again—because he couldn’t fucking help that—but he’d been pushing her away at the same time. Wantin
g her to see the dark parts of him. Wanting her to get away because if she ever did get too close, if he ever got a real taste of her…

  I’m not sure I can walk away. And signing over his soul to a woman wasn’t a good idea. He saw how badly marriages ended every single day. Saw the wreck left after love turned sour.

  “Get some sleep, Courtney,” he urged her because he was already nearing the limits of his self-control. “If you need me, I’ll be here. All you have to do is call out my name.”

  She put down the overnight bag long enough to open the door. But then she asked, “Call your name and what? You’ll come running?”

  For her? “Yes.”

  He heard her quick inhale, as if his answer had caught her by surprise, but then she hurried into the guest room and didn’t look back. The door closed softly behind her.

  Ben scraped his hand over his face. How long had he thought about getting Courtney in his home? Now she was finally here, but he had to keep his hands off her. Hands off, dick zipped up, gentleman role in place. He could do this.

  For her, maybe he’d do just about anything.

  ***

  Cole’s fingers clenched around his phone. “She’s at his place.” His voice was low and rough. “And the plan is shot to hell. Wilde Securities is tearing into my background. They’re going to learn the truth.”

  He listened intently, then laughed. “No, they are that good. That shit isn’t just speculation. They’ll find out the truth, and then I’ll be screwed. Hell, the cops already spent an hour questioning me tonight.”

  The response was fast and angry.

  “I’m not going to jail for you,” Cole snarled right back. “Forget that shit. The truth is going to come out. I will name you because I am not going down for you or anyone else.” He had one rule that he followed in this twisted world.

  Look out for yourself.

  Because no one else was going to do it.

  “I can’t get to her any longer. Ben Wilde is acting like he’s her freaking protector.” Talk about a total lie. He’d done his research on Ben. Rich boy. Playboy. General smooth-talking jackass.

  Only…that jackass had surprised him with one hell of a punch. He’d like to see just what other surprises Ben might be hiding.

  “He owns the building we live in. I didn’t know that. He had his name hidden behind some corporation. Yeah, yeah, he owns her place, and now he’s got her in his home.” Talk about danger signals. “He was in her bed the other night. And from the way he’s acting, Ben doesn’t plan to let her go anytime soon.”

  He waited for his boss to speak. And he didn’t like the order he was given. So… “Screw off,” Cole snapped. “I’m done. You want Courtney McKenna? Go after her yourself.” He hung up when the guy’s snarl filled his ears.

  It was time to cut out of this town. His cover was about to be blown, and the last thing he wanted was to be pulled in for another chat with the cops. He’d never quite managed to get along well with cops. He stepped onto the street, knowing he had to get back to his apartment and clear out of there. As fast as freaking possible.

  But when he’d taken just a few steps, he heard the sudden, fierce growl of a vehicle’s engine.

  Bright lights hit him, and Cole instinctively threw up his hand. “What in the hell?”

  The driver was coming straight at him. Cole tried to lunge out of the way, but the headlights turned toward him—the vehicle aimed for him even as that engine growled harder, louder.

  The impact tossed Cole into the air. For a second there, he was flying and the world was spinning and he didn’t even feel the pain.

  The pain came when he landed. When he slammed hard into the pavement and felt something snap. His whole body shuddered, and he knew that he should get his ass up. Especially when the driver braked.

  And then backed up…

  Cole shoved his hands down against the pavement. Get up. His head turned. The vehicle was in position once more. Fuck.

  The engine growled. The headlights hit Cole.

  He knew he wasn’t going to be able to move in time.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  She wasn’t going to sleep. After an hour of staring at the ceiling—broken by ever not-so-fun bouts of tossing and turning—Courtney admitted the truth to herself.

  She was too wound up. Her blood seemed to boil in her veins. She felt as if she was about to jump out of her skin. And every time that she actually tried to close her eyes…

  Stay away from him.

  She threw off the covers. Climbed from the bed wearing her t-shirt and boy shorts. The t-shirt hit mid-thigh so Courtney figured it covered her well enough. And she finally did exactly what she’d wanted to do for the last hour—

  She went to Ben. Courtney yanked open the guest room door, and she marched to his room. His door was partially ajar, and for a moment, she hesitated. How desperate did it look that she was running straight to him?

  But then again…so what? She felt desperate, and he’d told her that if she needed him, all she had to do was call out.

  Her fingers curled around the doorknob. The door opened with a squeak as she stepped inside. Darkness filled the bedroom, and it took her eyes a moment of straining intensity to adjust. The covers on his bed were a tousled heap. No sound whispered in the room—well, just her own breathing. Her breathing seemed way too loud. “Ben?” She inched toward the bed. “I…I wanted to come in here and—”

  And what? Talk? No.

  Not be alone? Again…no.

  Have mind-blowing sex so I don’t have to think about the creep after me? That was a very strong ye—

  The bed was empty. She was right beside the mattress before she made that realization. She’d come tip-toeing into Ben’s room, ready to throw away all her pride, but he wasn’t even there. How very anticlimactic.

  Her hand reached out, and she turned on the bedside lamp. Light immediately spilled onto the covers. The big, empty king-sized bed.

  Where was he? Courtney spun around. Part of her wanted to run right back to the guest room. But, no, she’d crawled out of bed for a reason.

  I want Ben.

  She hurried out of his bedroom. Her gaze drifted over his home—everything was so still and quiet and…the balcony doors were open. Her head cocked. Moonlight spilled in from the open balcony, and she found herself hurrying forward. When she stepped outside, the night wind blew over her cheeks. His back was to her, but he turned instantly as if he’d sensed her approach when she knew that she hadn’t made a sound. Courtney felt the impact of his gaze like a red-hot touch on her skin.

  “Courtney?” His body tensed. She saw that he was holding a glass in his right hand. “What’s wrong?”

  About a million things. “I couldn’t sleep.”

  Some of the tension eased from him. “Yeah.” He lifted the glass to his lips. Drained it and set it down on a nearby table. “Know that feeling.”

  She stood there, the wind blowing lightly against her. But it was a hot wind. That happened a lot in Atlanta. When the humidity was like a weight against your skin, even the wind didn’t help.

  “You want a drink?” Ben asked her.

  “No.” She licked her lips. “I want you.”

  Silence. Not really the response she’d expected. Courtney rocked forward onto the balls of her feet. “Ben?”

  “I thought we were one and done.”

  A wince.

  “Didn’t you work me out of your system?” His voice was rough as he took one step toward her.

  Her shoulders straightened. “Turns out, I didn’t.”

  “Huh. How about that…” Another step.

  Was this what it felt like when a predator stalked prey? Goosebumps rose on her arms, even with the heat surrounding her.

  “Guess what, sweetheart?” He was still advancing.

  Her breath heaved out.

  “I didn’t work you out of my system, either.”

  She slipped away from the open doors. Not sure exactly where she was going
, just suddenly feeling very, very nervous as she edged over a few feet and stood in front of the brick wall that made up the side of his home. Ben followed her, and he caged her with his arms. His hands flattened against the bricks behind her.

  “In fact,” Ben murmured, voice low and seductive, “if anything, now that I know just what sex with you is like…I want you even more than I did before.”

  Her heart pounded far too fast in her chest.

  “So, how about we make a deal?”

  “D-deal?” She’d just stuttered. She’d worked so hard to overcome the stutter that she’d had as a teen. But it still slipped out, especially when she was nervous. She was nervous as hell right then.

  “Fight with me all you want in court. In public. Play the game.”

  This wasn’t a game.

  “But when we’re alone together, we take what we want—and what we want is each other. When it’s just you and me, you can rip my clothes off. You can scratch me with your nails. You can scream my name, and I guarantee, you will love every moment.”

  Her nipples thrust against the front of her t-shirt. His words were turning her on, so it seemed only fair that she should say… “When we’re alone, you can strip me. You can touch every part of me. You can sink into me, and we can both get lost in the pleasure, and I guarantee, you will love every moment.”

  A dark, rich chuckle escaped him. “There is no one like you.” His head lowered toward her. “You are the one, Courtney.” His lips took hers. Not in some soft kiss. Soft kisses were for hesitant lovers. They weren’t hesitant.

  He touched her, and need exploded within Courtney. Her hands rose and pressed to his chest. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. He’d been on the balcony clad in a pair of low-slung jeans and nothing else. She touched hot skin. Hard muscle. Lickable muscle.

  She could taste the drink on his lips and tongue. Whiskey. As she kissed him, she could swear that she felt a little drunk—but not from the drink. From him. From the way he made her feel. Wild and uncontrolled. She didn’t care where they were. She didn’t care that she should be afraid of the creep out there in the dark.