Sean

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  Damn. I wish I had seen that. Although, seeing her dance to Beyonce was pretty comical.

  “So, who had the bar closed down?”

  “We all did. When the girls started coming and joined her on stage, we knew this wasn’t going to be something the public should see. Sarah talked to Hank about having us rent out the bar for the rest of the day.”

  “Let me know how much I owe you.”

  “Are you kidding me? If you hadn’t fucked up, I wouldn’t be watching a bunch of drunk women sing and dance on a bar stage. This is better than football.”

  Sam walked over with another round of drinks for the girls and they all eagerly grabbed them.

  “This must be the first time in a while that one of them wasn’t pregnant. At least they can all let loose,” I said, thinking back since all the girls met.

  “Well, maybe one of us will get lucky and get one of them pregnant tonight.”

  “Cheerio! Oi! Whatcha!”

  “What the fuck? Is she using a British accent?” I asked.

  “She got a dirty British slang book for Christmas.”

  “Before I get in a kerfuffle, I have enough marbles not to be miffed over what that tosser tried to take from me. While I’m taking the piss, I’m going to absobloodylootely enjoy myself before I fall arse-over-tit!”

  Lillian laughed at her British accent and went to put more money in the jukebox.

  “She’s been doing this all night, but now she’s added the accent,” Logan laughed.

  “And if you don’t like it, you can piss off,” she shouted.

  Jolene by Dolly Parton came on and Lillian started singing along, surprisingly good for how drunk she was. The girls got down from the stage, leaving Lillian up there to belt out her song.

  “You do realize that these songs are for you, right?” Harper said as she staggered up to me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Hello? She’s singing a song about a woman taking her man. All the songs are for you, and she’s wasted enough that she doesn’t care that you’re witnessing this.”

  “I thought she was just having fun.”

  “Men are so dense sometimes. You’re lucky she’s not me or you’d be wearing a cup right now to protect the family jewels.”

  “Oi! Ladies, get your arses back up here!”

  I walked over to the stage and grabbed Lillian’s hand pulling her in closer to me. “Lil, maybe you should come down and have some water.”

  “Bugger off! I’m having a knees up with my mates!”

  She pulled her hand free and went back to the mic. All the girls started singing along to what I thought was ABBA.

  There’s not a soul out there

  No one to hear my prayer

  Gimme Gimme Gimme a man after midnight

  Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away

  Gimme Gimme Gimme a man after midnight

  Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

  The girls were all doing hip thrusts and moving in seductive ways. Lillian, however, looked spastic in her movements. I had to smile though, she looked like she was really having fun.

  The day turned into night and the girls managed to get Lillian to drink some water, so hopefully she wouldn’t feel too bad tomorrow. She had school though, and I was guessing she would have to call in sick.

  Lillian slowly turned from happy drunk to sad drunk and it showed in her song choices. When she sang The Winner Takes It All, I figured it was close to time to leave.

  The winner takes it all

  The loser standing small

  Beside the victory

  That’s her destiny

  I hated seeing Lillian like this. While it’d been fun to see her let loose and have fun, now she just looked defeated and I had done that to her.

  I was in your arms

  Thinking I belonged there

  She did belong with me and I had fucked it up. I would make this up to her somehow. I wouldn’t let her run from me. I would have a hell of a time earning her trust, but I could take it. I would do whatever I could to earn the love of this good woman.

  But tell me, does she kiss like I used to kiss you,

  Does it feel the same when she calls your name

  Somewhere deep inside you must know I miss you,

  But what can I say, rules must be obeyed

  “I really hope you have a plan for getting her back. She’s amazing and you’d be a fool to let Vira get between the two of you again,” Logan said standing next to me. We were both mesmerized by Lillian. In fact, as I looked around, I saw all my friends watching her in awe. She really did have the most amazing voice.

  “Vira and I are over.”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”

  “I’m serious. When she left this morning, it suddenly dawned on me how much of an idiot I had been. She was always using me, even if she didn’t mean to. She doesn’t know how to love someone.”

  “Dude, I could have told you that,” he spat.

  “Then why didn’t you?”

  “You needed to see it yourself. How could you not see how much better it was with Lillian? She’s awesome.”

  “I see that now.”

  “Well, you’d better hope it’s not too late.”

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  It was finally morning and Lillian had been sleeping for a few hours. I spent the better part of the night holding her hair back as she sang to the porcelain god. She was so sick and was crying about never drinking again. She ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor because she was getting sick so often. When she made it an hour without being sick, I carried her into the bedroom and put her to bed.

  Knowing that she wouldn’t want me in her room with her, I laid down on the most uncomfortable couch in the world and closed my eyes. Since it was now seven in the morning, I was assuming the worst was over. I got up and called the school, letting them know that she had a nasty bug and wouldn’t be in today and possibly tomorrow. When someone got as drunk as she did and wasn’t used to drinking, it sometimes took a few days to recover.

  I went to her kitchen and saw that she was pretty much out of groceries, so I left her a note that I had run to the store and would be back soon. I made sure to get enough groceries to fill her cabinets and fridge for the next week, but when I got back to her house, she was still passed out.

  It was well after noon before she came stumbling out of her bedroom, moaning and holding her head.

  “What did I do last night?”

  “You pretty much drank all the wine at The Pub.”

  She screamed and then held her head when it obviously hurt. She moaned and then stumbled over to the couch.

  “What the heck happened last night?”

  “You don’t remember?”

  “I think I went to The Pub, but that’s all I remember. What are you doing here?”

  “Someone had to drive you home. You weren’t exactly going to make it on your own.”

  “What did I drink?”

  “White wine. A lot of white wine. I’m pretty sure they had to order more this morning.”

  “I’m so nauseous,” she said as she leaned back into the cushions.

  “Well, we can fix that. I’ll go get you some water and some toast.”

  I went to the kitchen and gathered up a little for her, along with some pills for her head.

  “Here. Eat this,” I told her as I walked back into the living room. She picked up the toast and took a small bite.

  “Okay, tell me what happened.”

  “I got a call from Logan that I needed to get down to The Pub. He said that you were a little tipsy when he got there and he called the girls to come hang out with you, but that turned into a dance party. When I got there, you were dancing with all the guys on stage, along with their wives. Then you pulled me on stage and had me dance with you.”

  She groaned. “Please tell me the only people in the bar were our friends.”

  “Yes, they were. Loga
n asked Sarah to rent out the bar for the night. It’s a good thing he did because it wasn’t exactly PG 13 in there.”

  She had a look of horror on her face. “Oh dear. Did I do something bad?”

  I laughed at the look on her face. “Lil, you didn’t do anything you would be too horrified about. I mean, you spoke in a British accent for the better part of the night and I really couldn’t tell you what you were saying. Although I think you had a few choice words for Vira.”

  I was laughing at the memory, but Lillian just looked mortified. “Don’t worry, Lil. I wouldn’t let you do anything that would have embarrassed you.”

  She cleared her throat and swallowed thickly. “Did I..say anything in this British accent that could be classified as..”

  “Dirty?”

  “Yes.”

  “There was some definite swearing, but honestly, I didn’t understand half of what you said.”

  She set her plate down and put her head in her hands. “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I let that happen.”

  “That wasn’t even the best part. You were singing up on stage with the girls. You never told me you had such an amazing voice, although, maybe you should reconsider a dancing career.”

  “Stop. Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I did that.”

  “We had to tempt all of you to leave with a trip to the ice cream shop and you climbed across my seat to order in your British accent. That was the best part of the night.”

  “Please. I think I’ve got the picture.” Then she seemed to remember why she had gone drinking in the first place. “I think you need to leave. I think we said everything we needed to yesterday.”

  “I’m not leaving.”

  “I have to get ready for school.”

  “It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. I already called in sick for you.”

  “That was so irresponsible of me,” she groaned.

  “Everyone has one day like that in their lives.”

  “Not me. I’m not that person. I don’t go drink copious amounts of liquor-”

  “Wine.”

  “Dance around on a stage-”

  “I’m not sure that was dancing.”

  “Say horrible things about people in weird accents-”

  “You were using slang. No one understood you anyways.”

  “Anyway. Adverbs can’t be plural.”

  “See? A few hours of sleep and you’re back to your old self.”

  “Sean. I really think you need to leave. Thank you for making sure I got home safe, but now I need to be alone. Nothing has changed from yesterday.”

  “Before I leave, I need to tell you something.”

  “I don’t think I want to hear this.”

  “Well, too bad. I’m going to say it. What I did was absolutely horrible and there’s not an hour of the day that I won’t regret what I did to you. But it’s done and over with. I can’t change it and I can’t take back the hurt I caused you. I know that I broke your trust and you probably think I’m some horn dog that can’t keep it in his pants-”

  She shot me a look that said my actions spoke louder than words.

  “But you have to understand that I thought Vira and I had something real. I didn’t just go out and fuck some random woman because I didn’t get it from you. Vira knew that I was moving on and she used my feelings for her against me. After you left yesterday, she stopped by and I made it clear to her that I never wanted to see her again.”

  “You were so willing to throw us away yesterday. How did the sudden realization that Vira was using you make our relationship any more significant?”

  “It didn’t.” Her shoulders slumped. “It just made me realize that what I had with Vira was never real. Everything we did was always a good time, a manipulation on her part. Everything you and I had was just you and me. We had conversations and got to know one another. You didn’t hide anything from me. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m still asking because I want to see what we could have had. I’m asking you to put your trust in me that I will never hurt you again, and I will work every day to make sure that trust is earned back. I will never see her again. I just want a chance. Please tell me I have a chance.”

  She was silent and seemed to be mulling over my declaration. I hoped that what I had said was enough, that I had made her realize how much I wanted her.

  “If I give you another chance, there’s something you need to know first.”

  “Okay.” I was nervous. My palms were sweating while I sat here and wondered if I would get my chance.

  “I’ve already told you that I wouldn’t sleep with you.”

  “I’m not expecting-”

  She held up her hand. “Please let me finish. There’s a reason for that and you need to know before we take this any further. I don’t believe in sex before marriage.”

  That dropped like a bomb in the room. It wasn’t that I was upset by that revelation, more that I realized she had never had sex before. I had made multiple attempts to lure her into some kind of sexual embrace. I had dragged her out of a bar with the intention of taking her home and fucking her. I felt like such a shit.

  “Oh my God.” I grabbed my head in my hands and scrubbed my face.

  “I figured that would be a turn off for you.”

  My head shot up. “No. I just can’t believe how many times I tried to get you to sleep with me and I never really listened to what you were saying.”

  “Well, I just wanted you to know. I won’t change my mind on this. It’s something I feel very strongly about and I know it isn’t everyone’s way of thinking in this day and age. If you really want to give this a try, you have to be sure you’re okay with this. I’m not suggesting that we’re going to get married someday, I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

  I nodded, not really allowing the information to really sink in. “I appreciate that.”

  “Look, this is a lot to take in for both of us and I really need some time to think about this and make sure I can move on from what happened. I don’t want to give you false hope. Can you give me a few days to think this over?”

  “Of course.” I stood and made my way to the door in some sort of weird haze. I was just about to leave when it dawned on me that I hadn’t said goodbye and it would appear I was running. I turned back to see she was lying on the couch with her eyes closed. I walked back and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her eyes popped open and her lips parted.

  “Make sure you drink plenty of water and keep eating or you won’t feel better. Get some more sleep.”

  She nodded and I backed away, her beautiful eyes following me the whole time. On the drive home, I really let her words sink in. I had to decide if I wanted to move forward with a woman that wouldn’t give me herself unless I married her. What if we weren’t compatible in bed? On the other hand, no other man had had her and that was something that was very appealing to me. If things went well between us, some day she could be in my bed and I would be the only man to bring her pleasure. She would only ever have my cock. I would be the only man to touch her curvaceous body and hear her moans.

  That wasn’t the only thing that was appealing about Lillian. She made me feel good. She opened up to me and talked to me about real things. I didn’t always agree with her, but she was always honest, which was something I was sorely lacking with previous partners. The fact that I just wanted to spend time with her to help her experience something new was probably the thing that clicked with me most.

  Then and there I decided that whether or not Lillian and I ended up together in the future, Lillian was definitely a woman I would be willing to wait for.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Lillian

  I SPENT THE rest of the day in a miserable state of nausea and confusion. My stomach wasn’t settling and my conversation with Sean was playing on repeat in my head. I had already forgiven Sean for sleeping with Vira. We had made no commitments to one another, so technically he hadn’t done anything wrong, or that’s what I was
telling myself.

  The question that swirled through my head was if I could trust Sean again. I had already started to fall for him and I could see that we could have had something special. He made me feel alive and introduced me to the best friends a girl could ask for.

  Around five o’clock, the doorbell rang and I reluctantly dragged my butt off the couch to answer it. I was shocked to see Harper and Alex standing on my doorstep.

  “Sean told us that he had to leave, but asked us to stop by and check on you,” Harper said as she shoved past me into the house. That was so sweet of him.

  Harper and Alex carried a few handfuls of bags back to the kitchen and were unloading by the time I got there.

  “We brought some food for you, but I see you already have a ton of food,” she said as she went to put the food away.

  “What? I hadn’t gone shopping yet.”

  “Well, looks like Sean did it for you. So, tell us what’s going on there. We didn’t exactly get a chance to talk last night.”

  I sat down at the table and the girls joined me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it with them. This was private and I didn’t know them that well.

  “Lillian, you don’t have to worry about us saying anything to Sean. We just want to help.” Alex had grabbed my hand and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

  “Well, basically, Sean and I have been dating. I was supposed to meet him at his house yesterday morning and when I got there, Vira was walking out.”

  “That bitch!” Harper slammed a hand on the table as she stood.

  “I thought you were friends?” I asked in confusion.

  “Well, we’re friends because of Cece, but she only comes to hang out when Cece’s around and she’s a lot of fun. That doesn’t mean I’m okay with her hurting one of my friends.”

  “Don’t worry about Sean. From what he’s told me, he laid into her after what happened.”