My Undead Heart

by Kacey Shea

  Rae pushes me in front of her and we join in the wait. “Okay, this is it. Mind fuck him back. Let’s do this.”

  I look over my shoulder to meet her determined stare and shake my head. “What are you talking about? I thought we came to flaunt the treasure chest?”

  A few guys in front of us chuckle, but we ignore their immaturity and shuffle forward as a few more enter through the door.

  “What time does he get here?” With the help of my shoulder, Rae balances to get a glance inside.

  “I don’t know.” Apprehension bubbles in my belly as the line moves again. The closer we get to the door, the more I’m not sure this is a good idea.

  Rae pokes the front of my jacket. “That’s your problem right there. You need to know your man’s schedule.”

  “He’s not my man!” I shout because really, how many times do I have to make that clear?

  She nods, a grim smile on her lips. “That’s your other problem.”

  The line moves forward and we’re only a few groups from gaining entry. Now that we’re this close I see him inside the door. Biceps and chest stretching that poor T-shirt, and his lips pulled into that sexy as hell grin. The girl working beside him takes a twenty and laughs when he leans down to whisper something in her ear. “Shit. There he is. This was a bad idea.”

  “No. No it’s wasn’t. We’re going to have a fucking fun time. Make him understand exactly what he’s missing out on.” Rae turns to me and starts undoing the buttons of my jacket. Shit. It’s cold outside, but I’m not stupid enough to mess with her right now. She fluffs my hair out and steps back with a nod, satisfaction written all over her smile. “And you will not, under any circumstance, stand around and talk to him. We get in, show him what he’s missing, and go straight to the bar. He chases you. Are we clear?”

  She’s scary when she’s bossy. I nod. “Crystal.”

  “Who’s she?” She tilts her head, but before I can answer someone from behind us yells at us to step inside. It’s then I realize we’ve missed a few shuffles and there’s Matt, eyes full of desire, waiting for me to walk in and pay my cover.

  “Mia.” His lips pull up to tease at the edges. “What a nice surprise.”

  I’m not sure what to say because Rae’s scary bossy. She explicitly demanded I not stand around to talk to him, and I do not want to deal with her wrath. Also, wine. So much wine. Not sure what I’m allowed to do, I give him a smile and hope that’s safe.

  “Ten each,” the woman sitting next to Matt says.

  “Oh, yeah.” I shake my head and slide off my jacket so I can pull out my wallet.

  “Don’t worry about it. Mia’s a friend.” Matt’s lips pull wide with that sexy smile and though I try to maintain an impartial expression, the day drinking severely fucks with my ability to do so. Instead of casual, I smile like a fucking maniac.

  “Thanks!” Rae says and grabs my arm to pull me inside.

  “Wait.” Matt stops us, reaching his hand out to splay at my hip. I might be drunk but I don’t miss the way his gaze skirts over my outfit, a short little black dress that leaves my midriff bare but for a connecting scrap of sheer lace fabric. “IDs,” he practically murmurs and my body sways toward him with a Hell, yes, I’ll be your sex slave.

  His chuckle pulls me back to reality as Rae hands over her license, causing Matt to drop his hand from my waist. My body shivers with the cold. I retrieve my own identification as quickly as I can manage and hand it over. Matt studies the card a little longer than Rae’s, but when his co-worker calls his name in an irritated tone he hands it back.

  “Have fun, Mia Rene Shultz.” His lips lift with that smirk, but before I can return something clever, Rae yanks me away to the bar.

  “I want a Thor,” she demands and I giggle. Really, I was never one for the long hair, but he pulls it off well.

  “Just wait until you see his hammer.”

  “Mia! You’re my idol.” She giggles and with the utmost expertise guides us between a group of guys so we have direct access to the bar. “Two Jack and Cokes, please.”

  “Wait, no. Jared says nothing good happens after ten when Jack Daniel’s is involved.”

  “Well, Jared isn’t here, is he?” She slides her credit card to the bartender in exchange for our drinks and hands one to me. “Drink up!”

  Rae makes friends with the group of guys around us and the drinks keep coming. I lose count exactly how many, but I’m not really paying attention anyway. It’s taking all of my mental headspace to not glance behind me every few minutes for a sneak peek at Matt. God, he looks good tonight. He looks good all the time, bastard. But more than being gorgeous, my body’s totally ready for another round of sexy time. But is that even a good idea? I don’t understand why things have to be so complicated.

  “Gotta pee!” I say to Rae, but instead of taking my hand and coming along, she nods and points to the restrooms before whispering into some guy’s ear. Whatever. I can go by myself. Not wanting to linger another second because I very well may piss myself, I turn and force my way through the crowd of strangers only to wait in another line.

  My head’s starting to throb with an inevitable headache. I need to order some food and water. Finishing my business, I head back out into the bar. A live band is onstage and the crowd shouts along with the lyrics to “Brown Eyed Girl.” I always loved this song. I search for Rae, but when I get to our spot at the bar she’s nowhere to be found. I hate how dimly lit this space is, and spend another twenty minutes walking through the crowd to make sure she’s not hiding in one of the booths. I also send her a shitload of texts.

  Genuine worry and concern, along with my now pounding headache, consume my thoughts. I cannot believe she would just leave. Not safe, and not cool. Our fun time from before is totally soured by her disappearing act, and all I want right now is to go home. After checking every single booth, table, and another trip by the restrooms, I give up. She’s not here. I turn toward the front exit of Zig’s and that’s when it occurs to me Rae was holding both my jacket and wallet. I have no way to get home. Seriously, this day sucks!

  I’m almost through the bar when someone reaches out to grab my hand. Without thought I jerk out of his reach, lift my gaze, and open my mouth to shout. Matt’s hard gaze catches the words in my throat.

  “I’ve been looking for you!” he shouts above the band.

  My brows scrunch and I open my mouth to ask why when he slides his hand around my waist and drags us to the front doors.

  “Time to go home,” he announces.

  I stop and pull away. “Hey! What’s this alpha shit about? How do you know I’m ready to leave?” I am, but he doesn’t know that.

  His scowl only pulls harder with his glare. “Your friend stopped by on her way out. Left your coat and wallet. Said it was up to me to see you home. Look, I don’t know what kind of game this is, but I need to get back to work. I don’t have time to be chasing you around.”

  Fucking Rae. My face twists with my own glare. “I didn’t ask you to. Where’s my stuff? I’m leaving.”

  He shakes his head and mutters something but starts walking to the doors. I follow behind until he stops at the girl working the cover and some other guy in a Zig’s shirt next to her. Matt grabs my jacket and practically throws it at me. “Put this on.”

  “I was going to anyway,” I grumble because I don’t like him telling me what to do. I’m not some child and I hate being cold. I was gonna wear my jacket outside. Dumbass. “Come on.” He holds my wallet hostage and walks out the door.

  I have to take twice as many steps to catch up with him. “Matt, I need my wallet!”

  He stops at the curb where there’s a guy waiting inside a white Prius. He opens the back passenger door. “You Aaron?” Next, Matt looks at me. “Get in the car, Mia.”

  That right there is what does it. “Are you fucking kidding me? Get in the car? What is going on right now, because last I checked you are not my keeper.”

  “Look, I just want y
ou to get home safely. I called an Uber. Just get in and go home to sober up,” he says and at my scowl he adds, “Please.”

  “I can call my own damn Uber, thank you very much!” I pluck my wallet from his hand and step so I stand between the open door. I swipe my phone to the app and dip my head inside the car. “Hey, Aaron, can you do me a favor and cancel the ride? I’ll request the same one at the same time.”

  “What the hell, Mia?” Matt practically growls from behind but I don’t look back.

  Aaron shakes his head and gives me a polite smile. “Sorry, ma’am. I can’t do that. The rider can request a cancel, though.”

  I glance back at Matt, and his scowl is stone cold. It’s as if this horrible expression has been permanently carved on his face. “Just take the ride, Mia. You’re wasting everyone’s time, including mine.”

  I consider being difficult but it’s the continuous glare of judgment on Matt’s face that moves me to take a seat. “Whatever.” I slam the door before he can say another word. I can’t believe him! The nerve to think I arranged some stupid plan with Rae just to catch his attention. Fuck that! And I’m so damn pissed at Rae. She’s gonna get a damn earful. Whether her move was intentional or not, you don’t ditch a friend while she’s in the ladies’ room to go home with some stranger.

  Anger and frustration boil along with the ache in my temple, and when Aaron pulls up in front of my building I’m just glad to be home. I open the car door. “Thanks for the ride.”

  “No problem. Uber will send the receipt to your inbox. I’d appreciate a review if you don’t mind.”

  “Wait.” I stop from getting out of the car. He’s paying for this. Oh, hell no. “Aaron, how much was the ride?”

  “It’s $32.50. You’ll find the receipt in your app or email.”

  “No, I won’t. And do you know why that is?” I don’t wait for him to answer. “Because some controlling asshole thinks I can’t call my own ride. How much cash will you take right now to refund the trip charges.”

  Aaron glances down at his phone screen before meeting my stare. “I’m sorry, ma’am. That’s not how Uber works.”

  “I know how fucking Uber works. How much?” I snap and even though I know I’m acting like a total bitch, I can’t seem to stop myself.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t accept cash. It’s against the policy and code of conduct I adhere to.”

  God, Aaron, why you gotta be a rule follower? I laugh and shake my head to lighten the mood. “You’re an Uber driver, not a fucking judge upholding the law.”

  His lips press together and this time Aaron isn’t polite with his tone. “Ma’am, I’d like for you to please exit my vehicle. Now.”

  Climbing out of the car, I stoop down to look at my driver one last time. “You know what, Aaron? Fuck you!” With that I stomp the rest of the way inside the building and up to my apartment. I turn off my phone because I’m absolutely furious and there’s no way I want to hear from either Matt or Rae. This entire night was a complete mess. I pop two Advil and down a bottle of water before passing out on top of my neatly made bed.

  I’m not having a good day. Fuck that. I’m not having a good week. Not only am I spending my nights curled up on my office floor on a bed fashioned of wrestling mats, but I haven’t heard from Mia since her little spectacle at the bar last weekend. She canceled our training sessions this week with the most impersonal text message ever. I won’t be at the gym this week. No excuse. No reason. No apology. As if what we had meant nothing. That was Monday, and for the past four days I’ve been waiting for her to reply to my question. Why?

  I have a feeling I’m waiting in vain. She’s not going to answer back. Hence the bad week. Now to make matters worse, my two best fighters are missing from practice—again—one week from their fight night.

  Not a good day.

  Barking commands at those who decided to grace me with their presence, I focus on getting through tonight’s training. I’ll deal with hunting down Ricky and Xavier later. As for what to do about Mia, I’m at a complete loss. I want to see her again, but I’m not into games. And that shit she and her friend pulled over the weekend was downright idiotic. Only the more I reflect on Mia’s reaction, the more I wonder if she really was in on the ploy the way I first assumed. Why else would she have been so pissed when I made her take the ride home?

  Shaking my head, I clear my mind and focus on work. The guys train hard, and after about an hour the front door jingles with a new arrival. I turn to see Xavier and Ricky jog in, drop their bags, and proceed to wrap their hands.

  Even though they’re hustling to join the group, I’m enraged. It’s plain disrespectful to behave this way only one week out. I stomp over to them without a second thought.

  Ricky glances up when he sees me coming. “Sorry, coach. We’re both—”

  I’m pissed at Ricky too, but it’s the young man who made me a promise he wouldn’t do this again that I’m ready to kill. “Xavier, we talked about this, man! If you’re not gonna make training a priority, this isn’t gonna work. I want you to win, man. I want this for you more than you can ever know. But showing up late to practice isn’t gonna get you the win. And now you’re dragging Ricky in late, too.”

  Xavier’s gaze drops to the ground and he grinds his jaw back and forth.

  It’s Ricky who speaks up, but his voice is coated with agony rather than indignation. “Coach, you don’t understand. We just came from the hospital.”

  Shit. My gut drops.

  “His mom—”

  I hold out my hand to stop Ricky’s explanation, and step in front of Xavier so he meets my stare. “Is she okay? What happened? Do you need to go back?”

  He blows out a breath before answering. “I will, after training. They think she’s dehydrated, but it could be more. We got her checked in and settled first. That’s why I’m late. I’m sorry, Coach. Won’t happen again. I’ll stay after and run sprints.”

  I clasp my hand on his shoulder and shake my head. “I’m sorry about your mom. Get out on the mats and get to work. Next time call.”

  “Yes, Coach,” Xavier says and Ricky follows him, jogging over to the rest of the guys to get to work. We go through practice and I push everyone harder than normal. My nerves are already hanging by a thread. My earlier anger is deflated by sorrow, leaving me unsettled. At the end of class, I send everyone on a one-mile run and pull out my cell. I promised myself I wouldn’t be that guy, but right now there’s nothing I need more. I type out the text message and hit send before I can second guess myself.

  Matt: I need to see you. Can I stop by?

  She’ll probably say no. I’ve been trying to respect her space. Not ask for too much. Hell, this might even be the proverbial nail in the coffin to any chance I ever had at a relationship with Mia Shultz. But not sending that text would have been worse. I won’t play games with Mia. If I want to see her, I’m going to be honest. Just as the guys come back inside, my cell buzzes from in my pocket with an incoming text. I don’t take it out to look right now. I can’t handle the rejection in front of an audience.

  We end practice with bouts of sparring for a solid hour. And after not one, but two of my newbies run outside to puke, I call practice. We only go twenty minutes late and they all know better than to complain. I feel a sliver of guilt because I ran them hard tonight. It was not entirely for their benefit, but for mine, releasing only a tiny bit of the frustration building inside. But then again, my trainers used to do much worse.

  The guys wipe down equipment and put things away, our nightly routine, but I jog over to Xavier and Ricky.

  “You two, head out. You’re done for the night.”

  “You sure, Coach?”

  “Positive. Which hospital?”

  “Mercy.”

  I nod and turn to Ricky. “Wait for me in the lobby? I just need to lock up, and then I’ll meet you boys there.”

  Xavier shakes his head. “You don’t have to. It’s a lot of sitting around. I’m sure we won’t kn
ow much ’til tomorrow.”

  “No, I’ll be there,” I promise because no one was there for me. They’re strong young men, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need a hand. Someone in their corner who’s been there.”

  “Thanks, Coach.”

  As they head out, I finally give in to temptation and look at my phone. Only a few words in her response but it gives me everything I need.

  Mia: I’m home. 416.

  Fucking finally, her apartment number. Taking a deep breath, I type out a reply. I’d love nothing more than to rush over there now. Take her in my arms and channel every bit of my aggression into bringing her pleasure. But that’s not on the table. I need to go see Xavier’s mother first.

  Matt: I’ll be really late.

  Her response is immediate.

  Mia: I’ll be up. Come over.

  As I close up the gym, hopping on my bike to stop by the hospital, I can’t help but give in to a smile. There’s nothing joyful about where I’m headed, but knowing Mia’s waiting for me on the other side . . . It’s everything.

  Hospital life hasn’t changed. There’s a crap ton of waiting around while your loved one suffers. Not that it’s the fault of any of the staff; it’s the nature of illness. Something inside eating away at both the good and bad, and trying to find that precious edge of comfort and strength in the process. I head down to the cafeteria with Ricky, where he flirts with the worker to convince her to make a meal somewhat in line with his eating plan. I order a second for Xavier and pay for them both with what little I have in my pocket. This fight in nine days can’t come soon enough.

  Feeling better once they’re fed and settled for the night with Xavier’s mom, I kiss Chantel on the cheek before I go.

  “Watch out for my boy,” she whispers in my ear.

  Emotion clogs my throat and I nod. “I will, but you keep fighting.”

  “You know I am. I will ’til I can’t.”

  “Thanks for coming by, Coach,” Xavier says.

  I nod because I don’t think I can manage any other reply. Before I leave, I turn to Ricky. “You need a ride?”