by Shari Low
Caro wanted to shake her. How could she? What kind of person accepts that kind of betrayal?
‘So are you married?’
For the first time, Louise’s face clouded. ‘We had a ceremony on a beach in Bali when Lila was a little girl. That was good enough for us.’
So he wasn’t technically a bigamist, and therefore he couldn’t be jailed. Another wave of disappointment.
‘And you knew he was coming home to us for all those years afterwards?’
‘Caro, don’t…’ Jack tried to interject again and she shot him a death stare.
‘Don’t. Speak. Yet. Just. Don’t.’
‘I knew,’ Louise admitted. ‘But I made a choice to wait – and it took a long time, but it was worth it to me. He always promised that when he retired he’d move to Glasgow full time, and he did.’
Caro had to swallow the urge to vomit. So it wasn’t even her mum’s illness that had driven him away. He’d had it planned for years. Or maybe he just told Louise that, and he was hedging his bets the whole time. She wanted to kill him.
But first she had one question for him. ‘So Louise knew all about us. Did Mum know about your cosy little set-up down here?’ Please say yes. Somehow it would make her feel better if Yvonne hadn’t been the only person in this messed up triangle who didn’t know what was going on, even if she’d chosen not to share it with her daughter.
‘No.’ Of course she didn’t.
‘You’re a fucking coward,’ Caro spat, making Louise jump to his defence again.
‘Caro, please, it was complicated…’
‘Did you know my mum is ill?’ she spat, then watched Louise recoil.
‘No, I didn’t.’
Caro could see she was telling the truth because for the first time, there was an edge of uncertainty on her face. That had rattled her.
‘Caro, don’t…’ Jack pleaded again.
‘I said shut up!’ she bit back, before resuming her conversation with Louise. ‘My mum had early onset dementia. She was fifty years old when it started. It led to her being knocked down by a car. Right now she’s in a hospital bed, where she’s lain, in a coma, for months. She’ll die soon.’
For the first time, her dad’s expression changed to something that looked like genuine concern. ‘Caro, I’m sorry…’
‘You’re not,’ she shut him down, before resuming the conversation with Louise. ‘That spineless prick that you chose walked away from her when she first got sick and never looked back. Changed his number. Broke off all contact. I’m sorry. You seem like a nice person, but he didn’t choose you. You were just the better option because my mum couldn’t do anything for him anymore. The minute she got sick, he came to you. That should tell you everything you need to know.’
Louise reeled like she’d been slapped, and it took her a moment to recover before she looked at him searchingly. ‘Jack?’
A buzzing in her clutch distracted Caro and acted almost like an alarm, calling time on this whole scene. She’d heard enough. There was nothing to gain by prolonging the confrontation. She knew the truth, and while it hadn’t exactly set her free, she could at least close the lid on the box.
‘You know, Jack,’ she said, as she stood up. He’d never been a dad to her and he certainly didn’t deserve the title any more. ‘I’m going to leave you to explain it all.’ She turned back to Louise. ‘Why though? Why did you let him treat you like that? Why did you share him?’
Louise hesitated, then said sadly. ‘Because I love him. And when it came to a choice of having him some of the time or none of the time, I chose to take what happiness I could get.’
Caro felt the air leave her lungs as the urge to fight left her. What was the point?
‘I can see you’re as much of a victim in this as my mum, but now that you know the truth, I can promise you that any excuse he makes for himself is a lie, because what he did was indefensible. If you choose to believe him, you’re a fool. And you,’ she stared down the man she used to call her father, ‘you are an indefensible prick, who was never worthy of my mum. Or me. I hope you rot in hell.’
With that, Caro stood up, and pointed her new boots and rapidly bruising toes in the direction of the door.
It was only when the cold air hit her, did she realise her eyes were stinging. She blinked back the tears. She would not cry one tear over that man. Instead, she leaned back against the wall, closed her eyes, waiting for her cardiovascular system to kick in and allow her to breathe again. The buzzing started in her bag again and she ignored it. It would be Todd, hysterical and demanding an update. She couldn’t trust herself to speak right now.
‘The shop. You were in my shop today.’
Caro opened her eyes to see Cammy standing in front of her. She’d barely registered that he’d just sat through all of that, on top of his own nightmare night. Poor guy. Now, he wasn’t angry, or accusing, he just seemed… concerned. Maybe curious. She cleared her throat, hoping the blockage would shift enough for her to speak.
‘I was. I’m sorry about that. I was trying to meet Lila, to… actually I don’t even know what I was trying to do. I suspected she was my sister and I thought if I saw her I’d know.’
‘I think you would have known straight away,’ he said. ‘There’s a definite resemblance.’
Caro laughed, and she hoped it didn’t come out as bitter. ‘Thank you, but I think I can safely say that I look nothing like Lila at all.’
Cammy was shaking his head as he looked at her, eyes full of sadness. ‘When she doesn’t have any make-up on, first thing in the morning, and her hair is tussled and wavy… I promise, there’s a resemblance. I didn’t spot it on the shop’s camera footage, but I see it now.’
The buzzing started again and this time, Caro decided to answer it quickly, then get him off the phone.
‘Todd, I…’
‘Caro, it’s Charge Nurse Sandra, on your mum’s ward.’
Caro had heard the expression about blood running cold, but she’d never actually experienced it until that moment.
‘I’m so sorry, but your mum’s taken a turn for the worse. I think you should come in.’
No. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not tonight. She looked at her watch and saw that it was 10.30pm. The last train was gone.
‘But I’m in Glasgow. I’m going to have to wait for the first train. Will she make it through the night? Will she…’
‘Caro, I don’t know that she will. I’m so sorry.’
‘Nooooooooo.’ Caro’s cry was guttural, seeped in pain. ‘I’ll get there as soon as I can. Somehow. I’ll… I’ll… I’ll get a taxi. I’ll be there. Just please keep her alive just a few hours longer. Please,’ she begged.
She hung up and immediately scanned the street.
‘Are you okay?’
Fuck, she’d forgotten he was even there. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t talk now. My mum… That was the hospital.’ To her absolute mortification she felt tears start to flow down her face. ‘I need to get back to Aberdeen right now.’
‘I’ll take you,’ he said, instantly, making her stop and search his face for clues as to whether he was as crazy as that offer would suggest. ‘I heard what you said. I’m cheaper than a taxi. I’ll take you,’ he repeated.
Caro tried to stem the tears with the palms of her hands. ‘Are you sure? What about Lila? Don’t you want to go find her?’
‘No,’ he said quite simply. ‘I think I just got dumped, so it’s fairly safe to say I don’t have plans.’ His expression suddenly changed. ‘Fuck, I don’t have a car either. Hang on.’
He dashed back inside the restaurant, then was back in seconds, brandishing a set of car keys. He pressed a button and the orange lights on a flashy big Range Rover across the street flashed on and off.
‘Whose car is that?’
‘Jack’s.’ Cammy hesitated. ‘Is that going to be a problem?’
In her panic-stricken state, she started to ponder the question and then immediately came to
a profound conclusion. Fuck it. Right now, she cared way too much about making it to the hospital to worry about how she got there.
‘Nope, no problem. Thank you so much,’ she said, as the two of them started running, Caro with a slight limp, across the road.
This was insane. Nuts. She’d come down here to find her sister and less than twenty four hours later that sister’s jilted boyfriend was driving her home in her father’s car.
As she jumped into the passenger seat, she sent a silent wish out into the messed up Universe. Hang on, Mum, please… just hang on until I get there.
Chapter 30
Cammy
10.40pm. It had taken less than ten minutes for them to get out of the city centre and on to the motorway. Cammy mapped the journey out in his head. Stirling. Perth. Dundee. Aberdeen. If they were lucky and didn’t hit any hold-ups, they should make it in a little over three hours.
Lucky.
Again, not an adjective that applied to him or the lady sitting next to him right now. The only consolation was that it seemed pathetic to mope about Lila when this woman, Caro, was dealing with so much more, and doing it with dignity and amazing strength.
His phone buzzed, but he ignored it.
‘I hope you don’t mind, but I just need to make a quick call,’ she said, her voice tight, panicked, as she plugged her phone into the iPhone charging cradle on the dashboard. ‘Sorry, battery is almost dead,’ she explained as she dialled, putting the phone on speaker because the cable was too short for it to reach her ear.
Cammy heard a male voice answer before the first ring was even out. ‘WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?’ he said, making Cammy flinch. Jesus, he sounded wound up and decidedly unhappy.
However, his reaction didn’t seem to faze Caro, who spoke quickly and calmly. ‘Todd, forget all that. The hospital called. Mum isn’t great and they want me to come in.’
‘Oh, God. Right. I’ll come get you, it’ll be quicker than waiting for the first train. I’ll leave right now.’
‘No, it’s okay. I’m already on the way home.’
‘How?’
‘Lila’s… er…’ She glanced at Cammy and he sussed immediately that she didn’t know how to refer to him.
‘Ex,’ he said, filling in the blank.
‘Lila’s ex is giving me a lift. In my dad’s car.’
‘Holy shit, how much did I miss?’ the guy gasped, then immediately caught himself. ‘Sorry! None of that matters a toss. Oh honey, I’m so sorry.’
‘Me too,’ she replied and Cammy heard the words catch on her grief as she said them. Her boyfriend (or was it husband?) sounded like he really cared, so at least she had someone at the other end to support her. He’d have done the same for Lila. It was both strange and sad that he was already thinking of her in the past tense.
His phone buzzed again. It went unanswered.
‘I’ll go straight there now and be with her. How long do you think you’ll be?’
Caro looked at her watch. ‘About three hours. But Todd, call me if… you know.’
‘I will, m’darling. I love you.’
‘Thanks, Todd. I love you too.’
She disconnected and put her head back against the headrest, eyes squeezed shut as if she was trying really hard not to cry. After a moment or two, she opened them, more composed now.
Cammy felt such a rush of sympathy, it took him by surprise. Taking on other people’s problems and woes wasn’t his thing. Until now. Perhaps it was a diversion from his own debacle. Maybe it was just an instinctive human reaction. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was in awe that she was dealing with all this on her own, yet she was still holding it together. Whatever the reason, he felt an urge in his gut to help.
‘Listen, I’m a bit useless at dealing with emotional stuff…’
‘Me too,’ she blurted, attempting to smile, despite the red-rimmed eyes and the exhausted pallor.
‘I’m really sorry about your mum, though. And your dad. Jesus, that was a shocker – although, in hindsight, so much makes sense now.’
‘In what way?’ she asked.
‘Och, just all stupid stuff. None of it matters. If you want to put your seat back and get some sleep, or just close your eyes and ignore me until we get to Aberdeen, I promise I won’t be offended.’
She shook her head. ‘I couldn’t sleep, and if I just sit here, the time will drag by, so to be honest, I’d rather talk stupid stuff with you,’ she said, before tagging on, ‘No offence! Sorry, I’ve just realised how that sounded.’
‘You’re fine,’ he laughed. ‘I’m actually well known for my skill in talking absolute bollocks, so you’re in good hands.’
That made her smile again. There was a natural lull in the conversation. ‘Do you mind if I just give the hotel a call?’ She asked.
‘Of course not.’
She pressed redial on a number on her phone’s call list. ‘Good evening, this is the Hilton, Glasgow, how can I help you?’
Caro explained that she had a room, but wouldn’t make it back tonight because she’d been called home on a family emergency. She asked them to collect her things and store them for her, then told them to charge the credit card they had on file. Only after the call was finished did she resume the conversation.
‘So…’ she began, ‘what did you mean about things making sense?’
He thought about it for a moment. ‘I guess there was just always something off about his relationship with Lila.’
That seemed to surprise her. ‘But on her social media pages she was always going on about how wonderful he was and how much she loved him. I thought they were really close.’
Cammy kept his eyes on the road as he answered. ‘There was a lot of stuff on Lila’s Facebook that wasn’t quite what it seemed. Sometimes I wondered if I was living with someone completely different. The stuff that went up there was the airbrushed version of her life, where everything was wonderful. Don’t get me wrong – most of the time it was. But it didn’t tell the whole truth. I always figured she needed to do it to fill a hole somewhere. Weird that I’m only realising that now.…’
‘Thought you were no good at the emotional stuff?’ she said. ‘That seems pretty perceptive to me.’
‘Maybe I have hidden depths,’ he joked. ‘Or maybe, my pal Val, who is a kind of surrogate aunt, and one of the smartest people I know, told me that once and it stuck with me.’
‘Sounds pretty smart to me,’ Caro agreed.
‘Yep. For what it’s worth, Val and my other surrogate aunt, Josie, also told me not to propose to Lila because apparently she’s completely wrong for me. I guess I should have listened. My bad.’
‘Are you dreading telling them?’
‘Nope. I’m focusing on the fact that after the first hundred or so “I told you so’s”, it’ll make them so happy. Every cloud…’
His phone buzzed for the tenth time since they had got in the car.
‘Is that who keeps texting you?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ he smiled. ‘They’ll be going out of their minds with nosiness. Josie threatened to storm the restaurant and smuggle me out earlier.’
‘Look at all the fun you’d have missed,’ Caro said, with sadness more than sarcasm.
Cammy nodded, before going back and picking up the other strand of the conversation. ‘But anyway, her dad…’ He thought about the best way to put it. ‘I thought she always seemed like she was trying to get his attention. His approval, even. He never gave it. I’ve only known them for six months, and they don’t seem close at all. In fact, I think there’s a bit of her that resents the fact that he’s hijacked her mum. Lila never actually said as much, but she did go on about how she and her mum spent all their time together before he moved back full time and now her mum is pretty much with her dad twenty-four seven. I think it bugged her.’
‘I can see how that would be the case. It’s weird, I’ve got such mixed feelings about her. I hope that’s okay to say, given, you know… you were her boyfri
end until half an hour ago.’
‘It’s fine. Really,’ Cammy replied, surprised to realise that he meant it. A few hours ago, he was contemplating spending his life with her, yet now he knew with absolute certainty that it was over. And he was… fine. It was beyond surreal. Maybe he was in shock and would experience some kind of delayed reaction later, but he very much doubted it. Right now it felt like this was the first time he’d been thinking clearly in months.
Caro went on, ‘I think in a lot of ways I was jealous. It seemed like she had everything… the carefree life, the loving parents, the brilliant job, the glamorous existence, the boyfriend…’
‘Did you say incredibly handsome and smart boyfriend?’ he asked, hoping it was okay to joke with her when she was right in the middle of such a terrible time.
‘I did indeed,’ she agreed. ‘And humble. Very humble.’
‘You’re so right. Carry on.’
‘Part of me, the part that was convinced she was my sister, was really envious that she seemed to skip through life having a blast, while I was dealing with my mum and all the crap caused by my dad leaving. It sounds pathetic now, but it just didn’t seem fair.’
‘No one’s life is that perfect,’ Cammy said, flicking on cruise control and letting the car take over now that the traffic had almost disappeared and it was pretty much a straight road past Stirling and on to Perth. ‘I think she just became really good at putting on an act. Certainly fooled me. I thought we were really happy and she wanted the same things I want. Eh, wanted,’ he corrected himself.
She picked up on it. ‘Maybe you shouldn’t give up. Maybe she just got a shock, and bolted because she felt like she was put on the spot.’
‘Trust me, Lila isn’t the type of person to bolt when she’s centre stage. She’s more likely to take a bow and demand a standing ovation. If she loved me at all, she’d have said yes, and lapped up the congratulations and good wishes. The whole thing would have been on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat by now and she’d be fielding calls from shops offering her discounts on wedding dresses.’