The Bellator Saga: The First Trilogy (Dissident, Conscience, and Sojourn)

by Cecilia London

  “Mo Mo and Feef,” she choked out.

  She heard Jack exhale harshly. He put his hand on her shoulder and she shrugged him off.

  “Don’t touch me.” She wrapped her arms tighter around herself so that he wouldn’t see how close she was to crying. After several long agonizing moments she opened her eyes a crack and saw that Jack now looked confused instead of angry.

  He reached out to her again before pulling back hesitantly. “Where have you been for the past year?”

  “Underground, mostly out east. I’ve been training with my men to finish the job you and I started in Harrisburg.”

  “You’re in charge of them?”

  “I think it’s only because they’re all secretly afraid of me.”

  Jack tried to hide a grin. But his tone remained insistent. “What did we do in Harrisburg?”

  Caroline was failing to find any humor whatsoever in the situation. The steady beat of his questioning was beginning to take its toll. Her head spun again. She had nothing to bargain with, and he knew it.

  “Please stop, Jack. If you think I’m deceiving you then let me go. Please,” she said softly.

  “Answer me!” His voice was anxious.

  “We had a flash drive full of intel. We were trying to figure out a way to get to California. On the night the government came after us we ran.”

  “But they eventually captured you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where were you captured?”

  “In the Allegheny National Forest.”

  “Who were you with?”

  “I was alone.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “Early February of last year. It was cold and snowy.”

  “Who captured you?”

  “Federal troops.”

  “Where did they take you?”

  “Back to Washington.”

  “Why were you in the forest?”

  “Our car hit a tree, so we took off into the woods.”

  “What kind of car was it?”

  His questions were so rapid fire and random that it was taking all of her effort to answer them. Caroline was dizzy and frustrated. “Some piece of shit Corolla, I don’t know. You made me drive it because you hate compact cars. They aren’t fancy enough for you.”

  He chuckled softly, and she looked up. Jack was now watching her with a mixture of guilt and sadness. “Why were you alone?”

  Her strength was fading. It was impossible to keep her lip from trembling. And sweet Jesus, her head hurt so much. She wanted to lay down and take a nap and not have to think so hard anymore. Caroline squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to talk about that night. Not in a room full of strange men. Jack’s fingers brushed across her uninjured cheek and she blinked rapidly, bringing her gaze to his. His eyes were bright.

  “Why were you alone, sweetheart?” he repeated quietly.

  She was getting there. He wouldn’t have called her that if she wasn’t. “I was badly hurt. I made you leave.”

  Jack pulled a chain up from under his shirt. “What is this?”

  Caroline saw a platinum band hanging from the chain and tears poked at her eyes again. “It’s my wedding ring.” She sniffled even though her nose hurt like hell. “I gave it to you.”

  He was looking into her eyes. Never breaking her gaze. That had to be a good thing, right?

  “What did I have engraved on the inside?” he said softly.

  He was being cruel but he also sounded desperate, impatient. And he’d stopped playing fair a long time ago. But his questions were sincere. He had to believe her. He just had to.

  She fumbled over the words, making sure to keep staring right back at him. Her head kept spinning in and out and she was having a hard time telling what was real. “My foolish heart is forever yours. Love, Monty.”

  Jack clutched the ring in his fist before tucking the chain back under his shirt. A tear rolled down his cheek as he silently cradled her head in his hands. They were warm and soothing, and she leaned into them even though the pain made her wince.

  When he spoke his voice was tender. “What was the last thing you said to me?”

  The tears she’d been holding back started to fall. “I will always be with you.”

  Jack pressed his lips to her forehead, keeping them there for a very long time. A tear that wasn’t hers dripped onto her cheek. He pulled back, took the handkerchief from her hand, and swept the wetness from her face. But he was smiling. Smiling so broadly that it almost made her start crying again.

  “My sweet Caroline,” he whispered, bringing her into a hard embrace.

  She tangled her fingers into his shirt and let out a relieved breath. After everything she’d been through, letting herself drift off in his arms was the easiest thing she’d ever done.

  End of Book Three

  Caroline’s journey continues in Phoenix, releasing in late March 2016 with the final two books (Rhapsody and Triumph) to follow by the end of the year.

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  Acknowledgments

  As you may have noticed, Sojourn is a bit of a transition book. Caroline’s journey is not yet over, but we know that she will not be making the trip alone. Many thanks are in order and I’ll try not to forget anyone. But I suppose I have at least three more books in which to mention you, right?

  To Mandi Rei Serra (Snarky Wench Book Reviews) and Terri Thomas (My Book Boyfriend Blog), I remain eternally grateful for your ability to kick my ass into gear after alpha or beta reading my manuscripts. I know you do it because of your great love for Jack and Caroline, and that warms my heart. Special thanks also to Lila Monroe for being such a supportive friend and pimpette, as well as an amazing author. I adore your devotion to my series! Let’s save all those UPS delivery guys together. ;)

  To Tesrin, Carol, Kim, Elizabeth, Eli, Elise, Rachael, Brandi, Jaime, Gill, Becky, and every other Rebel Warrior who has fallen in love with the stories and recommended them constantly, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

  To Irene and TeriLyn…I have no words. You’ve done so much for me because you believe in me and my writing and you want the book world to know about this series. I’m so glad we’re going down this path together.

  And once again, thank you to all of my readers. The remaining three books in the series will be published in 2016, starting with Phoenix. I hope to have you on board for the rest of the ride!

  If you enjoyed this book, please leave a review, and tell your friends! Word of mouth takes indie authors a long way.

  You can catch up with me in the following locations if you want to keep up with what’s going on with release dates, contests, and other fun stuff.

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  Keep reading for deleted scenes and other bonus material!

  Deleted Scene From Sojourn

  “Be careful,” Kathleen said. “We have to look sober.”

  Caroline laughed as she climbed out of the back of the limo. Jen was busy talking to her photographer, so it was significantly easier for her and Kathleen to emerge from the vehicle unnoticed.

  “I can totally pull this off,” she said. “I just feel stupid that I broke the seal on the way back from the church.”

  Kathleen scowled. “If Jenny h
adn’t stopped at like every fucking scenic spot. It’s cold. It’s December. It’s Maryland. It’s not that damn special.”

  “Wait.” Caroline reached back inside the limo and grabbed a half empty bottle of vodka. “I don’t think it’s an open bar.”

  “Seriously?” Kathleen asked. “Aren’t Eric’s parents fronting this thing?”

  Caroline tucked the bottle inside her coat. “I have no idea. I thought Jen and Eric were paying for it on their own.”

  “Eric’s parents were definitely on the hook for the bar tab.”

  “Then that explains why there’s no open bar,” Caroline said.

  Kathleen shook her head back and forth. “Damn cheapskates. The least they could do is pay for the booze.” She helped Caroline button her coat. “Very subtle,” she said, weaving her arm through Caroline’s. “No one’s gonna notice that bottle shaped bulge. Let’s go do this.”

  The reception hall was considerably warmer than the outside air, and both their cheeks were flushed by the time they made it to the rest of the guests. Although they might have been bright red already. Caroline hoped they looked normal for the pictures they took. Jen would kill them if they looked drunk while grinning at the camera.

  “Shit, they got to eat and everything,” Kathleen said, looking longingly at a picked over plate of hors d’oeuvres. “I’m starving.”

  “We had those little cheese cracker thingies,” Caroline said. “Oh, look. There’s Ellie. Let’s go say hi.” She waved at Ellen, barely keeping the bottle from falling out of her coat.

  “Smooth,” Kathleen said. “You’re hitting them all tonight, boss.”

  Caroline intentionally bumped her shoulder against Kathleen’s. “So are you. By the way, thanks for getting that bartender to give us free shots.”

  Those had probably been what had pushed the two of them over the drunken edge. Hd rather gamely poured a couple of blow job shots for them, complete with whipped cream, and was so amused by their antics that he left the bottle of Bailey’s on the bar for them to finish. Caroline would definitely be feeling the aftereffects in the morning. But for now, she was going to enjoy the fuck out of herself.

  She marched up to Ellen, pulling the bottle of vodka from her coat. “Hold this,” she whispered, handing it to her clumsily.

  Ellen accepted the bottle with a confused look. “Excuse me? Oh, and hello to you too.”

  “Hide this,” Caroline said. “Help a sista out.”

  Ellen frowned at her. “Are you drunk?”

  Kathleen burst out laughing as she removed her own coat. “Just a little.”

  Ellen gave them a disapproving look. “You’re both totally smashed. You just got here and you’re already totally smashed.”

  Caroline frowned at her as Jack walked over, a grin on his face. “Don’t tell my husband,” she said.

  Ellen rolled her eyes. “He’s not blind, Caroline. You think he’s not going to figure it out?”

  Caroline straightened her shoulders, smiling over at Kathleen. “We can work this,” she said.

  Kathleen hiccupped. “Speak for yourself.” She looked around. “Where’s Liz?”

  Ellen steadied her when she stumbled while turning back to face them. “I believe she’s at the bar. Hopefully getting you both some water.”

  Caroline laughed. “Fuck that. We’re way too far gone for water to do any good.”

  Jack walked up behind her, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Hello, sweetheart,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Don’t you seem…festive.”

  “We’ve been drinking,” Kathleen announced.

  He tried not to chuckle. “I can see that.”

  “Wanna go make out in the corner?” Caroline asked.

  Jack grinned at her. “Sure.”

  “With all due respect, Mr. Governor-Elect, I was speaking to Ms. Thalberg.”

  “Oh,” Jack said. “Can I watch?”

  Caroline turned to Kathleen, who shook her head back and forth.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Katie has spoken.”

  Kathleen smiled at Jack. “She’s had a lot. I’m very sorry.”

  “More than you?” Jack asked.

  “Oh, much more than me. She’s the only one who’s been drinking that vodka.” She pointed at the bottle in Ellen’s hand.

  “Don’t ask me what the hell I’m supposed to do with this,” Ellen said.

  Caroline reached for the bottle. “I can take it back.”

  “No,” Ellen and Jack said in unison.

  “You people are no fun,” she groused.

  Jack rubbed her shoulders. “Didn’t you supervise my wife?” he asked Kathleen.

  “Technically, I did watch her do about three blow job shots in succession. But other than that, hell no.”

  “Did you use your hands?” Jack asked.

  Caroline held her head high. “Of course not. Mouth only.”

  He kissed her cheek again. “Very nice. Only three?”

  Kathleen glanced over at Ellen. “I’m not comfortable with your innuendos. I feel like you’re not talking about drinks anymore. Senator Goldman and I don’t need to hear that.”

  Ellen shifted the bottle to her other hand. “Yes. Thank you, Katie.”

  Caroline’s chief of staff was a total sellout. Ruining all her fun and sharing secrets that Jack didn’t need to know just yet. “Don’t tell my husband about the cigars,” she whispered harshly.

  Jack sniffed her hair. “Would have figured that out shortly, thanks.”

  “Where are we sitting?” Caroline asked. “Better be near the front.”

  “We’re at the head table,” Kathleen said. “Didn’t Jen tell you? Or is your brain too pickled to remember?”

  “Shit. I hate head tables.” Caroline leaned back into Jack’s shoulder, meeting his gaze. “Are you going to be okay by yourself?”

  He laughed. “I’m with Ellen and David. I’m a little more concerned about you.”

  “Can I sit on your lap at your table instead of up front?”

  “Maybe later.” He winked at her. “After dinner, when we can get away with more.”

  Caroline grinned at Ellen. “Where is David, anyway?”

  “He’s getting us drinks,” she said. “And no, you can’t have one and if you try to kiss him anywhere other than on the cheek I will slug you.”

  “I would never do that,” Caroline said innocently.

  “Yeah.” Kathleen smiled when Liz appeared with two glasses of ice water. “Seems like making out with me and Jack would be enough for one night.”

  “What’s that?” Liz asked. “Who’s kissing whom now?”

  Caroline gratefully took the water she was offered. “Never mind.”

  * * * * *

  Water and food seemed to calm Caroline’s head and her stomach. By the time the reception started, her buzz had faded and she was left with a sense of contentment mixed with an odd sort of melancholy. Watching Jen and Eric during their first dance had almost brought the tears. Almost. Kathleen had been watching her like a hawk and if Caroline had gotten emotional she knew she would never hear the end of it. By the end of the night, both of them were completely exhausted, camping out at a side table together with their heads on their hands, watching everyone else continue to dance. Caroline yawned as she watched Jack and Liz spin around the floor to a song she’d never heard of, and saw Jen walking over out of the corner of her eye.

  “Serves you right,” Jen said, taking the seat in between them.

  Caroline yawned again. “For what?”

  “Getting drunk. You were supposed to at least wait until after you’d eaten. Now you’re going to feel terrible at my brunch tomorrow.”

  Caroline had been silly and sentimental enough to agree to throw Jen and Eric a brunch at her house in Rockville the next morning. She just hoped she and Jack would be up and alert in enough time to let the caterers through the front door. “I’ll hide in the kitchen,” she said.

  Kathleen poked her head up. “I can’t
believe we’re breaking up the band.”

  Jen turned to her. “What band?”

  “The Go-Go’s,” Caroline said. “I’m Belinda Carlisle, Katie’s Jane Wiedlin, and you’re one of the other band members that no one remembers.”

  “Charlotte Caffey,” Kathleen said. “Lead guitarist.”

  Caroline finished her Moscato. She couldn’t be begrudged one final indulgence, even if she already felt hung over. “No one cares who that is.”

  “That’s my point.” Kathleen nudged Jen in the ribs.

  “Be nice to me,” Jen said. “It’s my wedding day.”

  Caroline leaned in closer. “Speaking of that, need any tips on losing your virginity?”

  Kathleen laughed. “I doubt Eric knows what to do.”

  Jen frowned at them both in turn. “I’ve had sex before. Honestly.”

  “Please don’t tell us about it,” Kathleen said. “And I want to be Belinda Carlisle. I’m blond and you’re not.”

  “You’re blond whenever you feel like going au naturel, which is hardly ever. Belinda Carlisle had red hair that one time,” Caroline said. “So I get to be her.”

  Jen sniffled. “Stop doing that.”

  Caroline sat up straighter. “Doing what?”

  “Being all fun and light. It reminds me that this is the last time we’re going to be together for a while.”

  Well, wasn’t she a Debbie Downer. “We’ll see you at your swearing in,” Caroline said. “And at Jack’s inaugural.”

  “That’s not the same. Everything changes after tonight.”

  Kathleen patted her shoulder. “But it’ll be better. Now you’re all domestic and shit. And you’re going to be a member of Congress.”

  “And you’re going to be Caroline’s chief of staff,” Jen said glumly. “In Harrisburg. Both of you will be so far away.”

  “It’s like a two hour drive. Three, tops,” Caroline said. “Buck up, buttercup. Everything will be fine.”

  Kathleen laughed. “You sound like me.”

  Caroline grinned. “You’re rubbing off on me a little too much.”