by Annie Boone
A Ready Made Family
Annie Boone
A Mail Order Bride Short Story
This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this story are products of the author’s imagination. Any misrepresentations or discrepancies about the places or history are research or interpretation errors by the author. For more information about the author, Annie Boone, check out her website.
http://www.AnnieBoone.com
Chapter One
Barren.
It was an ugly word. A cruel word. And it described me. My body and my soul. I kept hearing the word boom over and over in my head.
I would never give birth to a child. Never feel life kicking inside me, or watch my belly swell with a tiny, beautiful miracle. Never see the look of wonder on my husband’s face as he held our newborn in his arms.
Phillip and I had tried for years to have a child of our own. Our marriage was perfect otherwise, but the absence of the pitter-patter of little feet made me feel like I failed as a woman. I had failed as a wife, in some respects. The complete devastation in my husband’s eyes made me feel downright useless.
He wouldn’t even look at me as we left the doctor’s office and headed down the stairs to the busy street below. We were lucky enough to live in New York, so we didn’t have to travel far to hear this terrible news. No, we only needed to stroll a few blocks to the well-respected doctor’s plush and comfortable office to have our hopes and dreams crushed into mush.
We walked together in silence and Phillip habitually offered his arm as we turned in the direction of our home. In my grief I took his arm absent-mindedly, never feeling the reassurance that I should have from the gesture. We strolled past the school where the children were playing out on the field, laughing and chasing each other in a blur of childhood bliss. I turned my head, refusing to look, but the sounds of their laughter carried down the block, and I instinctually clutched Phillip’s arm tighter.
I remembered that on our wedding night he had told me how eager he was to become a father. He always spoke about his future son taking over the family business as he had done from his father. The family business was started by his great-grandfather who had been a fine artisan. He crafted custom pieces of furniture, mostly for the wealthy, and his talents had been widely sought out. Their stores carried everything from cradles to dining tables. Our own home was filled with many of the ornate pieces.
Unfortunately, the crib I had my eye upon would never be needed.
The furniture business was flourishing, and it was something Phillip prided himself on, and I of course had encouraged him. Or at least relentlessly teased him. “And what if it’s a girl? Can she take over the family business?”
Phillip would kiss me on top of the head and say, “Well, we shall have to have one of both then won’t we?”
But now there would be no boy and there would be no girl. There would be just the two of us. That was all we would have to care for in life. It wasn’t horrid. It was more than many people get in this world.
I still longed to cradle my infant in my arms, to draw it close to my breast, and watch as it surrenders to the magical realm of sleep. To breathe in that delicious scent that only a newborn has and to touch the wisps of soft curls atop a cherubic face. I knew now, some dreams, no matter how vivid, just weren’t meant to be.
When we arrived back in our home, I removed my bonnet and put it away out of habit. It felt like a normal thing to do when I feared nothing would be normal in my life again. I stood listening to the vast quiet echoing through our empty house. I asked Miranda, our housekeeper, to make us a pot of tea and to bring it out to the parlor. Phillip lit his pipe, and twitched his nose, causing his mustache to shift back and forth.
I looked over at my husband, the sadness of his loss lingering in his dark brown eyes. He leaned against the archway of the parlor entrance and puffed on his pipe, lost to his thoughts. I can only imagine that they were similar to my own. Discovering that you will never be able to bear children is equivalent to the unexpected passing of a loved one. It just happens to be a loved one you never met before.
Miranda brought us our tea, poured two cups, and then closed the French doors behind her to give us privacy. She knew we had gone to the doctor today, but I’m sure she could tell by our grave expressions that the news wasn’t good. She didn’t inquire any further and I was grateful for that.
I took a sip of tea before speaking, noting how Phillip did not touch his cup. He didn’t even sit beside me as he usually did. Thinking I might just go mad from his silence, I stated the obvious. “There are other options for us, Phillip. I’ve been thinking that the orphanage right here in town could be the perfect place to begin.”
He looked at me for the first time since the doctor had told us the truth. “Begin?”
“Why, yes. Just because the doctor says that I cannot get pregnant doesn’t mean that we cannot be parents.” I forced a smile, wanting to believe in the hope of my new plan. “Oh, think of it Phillip, I know we have never discussed it before, but what a wonderful thing we would be doing. Giving a child who has lost so much parents who will love him or her immensely and provide a stable and wonderful home.”
Phillip looked at me, his expression severe as his eyes darkened. He raised his hand already dismissing me before he even spoke. “No. No. That’s not an option.” He shook his head emphatically. “This is not the life that I signed up for.”
“The life you signed up for?” I forced another smile, but could already feel my bottom lip trembling. Placing my cup back on the saucer, I folded my hands in my lap and looked at my husband defiantly. “Then tell me, Phillip. Just what did you think marriage would be all about?”
“Well not this. Surely you knew there was something wrong with you before you married me. I don’t doubt there were signs. I believe I’ve been betrayed.”
“Something wrong with me? Good Heavens! What is it that you are referring to?”
“You were broken, and you passed yourself off as a woman who could give me the perfect life. The perfect family.”
“Broken! I am not an object, Phillip. I am a human being. How dare you speak to me in such a manner?”
“And how dare you think that I would be just as happy adopting a child that came from some unknown family? I have a reputation to uphold! And I don’t want someone else’s child. I want my own.”
“I see. I’m sorry being married to me has ruined that perfect image for you.” The tears began to fall now, and I felt so foolish crying as he looked at me with no emotion other than disgust. What happened to the man I married? The man who whispered hopes and dreams in my ear and planned a future with me, I thought bitterly. I was about to find out.
Phillip crossed his arms and cleared his throat. “I have spoken to my lawyer, Ava. The papers were drawn up last week, just in case something like this would be revealed to us. You know how I like to be prepared and I had a feeling the news was not going to be good.”
“Prepared for what?” I felt the blood drain from my face in panic and my stomach felt as if it was tied in knots. He didn’t look or sound like the Phillip I knew.
“I am filing for divorce. My business is most important to me, and I need to ensure that I have a family that will carry it on. A public figure such as myself needs to have a family to look responsible. Not having children is unnatural and will not be received well by those who respect me.”
“Divorce me? You’re divorcing me?” My husband wanted to remove me from his life as though I were a cancerous tumor that needed to be carved out. We were married in a church, before God. I didn’t even believe in divorce. My vows were sa
cred. How could he discard those vows so callously?
Phillip cleared his throat again. “I shall sleep in the guest room tonight. Tomorrow I will move into the apartment I have acquired. You may keep this house, and I will grant you enough money to pay the household bills each month. So, as you can see, Ava, I’m not a complete monster.”
“What will I say to people? To my family? How can I show my face in town?”
Phillip shrugged. “That is no longer my concern, Ava. Handle it any way you like.”
“Phillip, you are mistaken. You are a monster, indeed.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I felt discarded, unlovable, and small. What was I going to do now?
Chapter Two
The weeks limped slowly by and I got somewhat accustomed to my life as a single woman. That life included people crossing the street when I turned the corner, whispers as I entered church on Sunday, and having to let Miranda go, because I could no longer afford her.
With both Phillip and Miranda gone, the house was hauntingly quiet. I felt like a ghost lingering about in the place that others had abandoned. I would have welcomed a field mouse into my home, I was that lonely.
The depression could have easily consumed me, but I decided I had to fight for what I wanted. And what I wanted the most was a child. There was an adoption agency in town that I knew only had older children. It seems that older children were not as desirable as infants and toddlers. Isn’t that what Phillip had made me? Undesirable. Matching me with an older, undesirable child seemed like a perfect fit.
Getting dressed I made myself as pretty as possible, and pinned my long blonde hair up. I wore my best hat and carried my umbrella to avoid the sun’s rays. It was dreadfully hot, and I considered taking my gloves off, but it would seem improper to show up not suitably attired. A good first impression was critical to my success. I was certain of that.
When I entered the orphanage, a woman with brown and silver hair tied into a tight knot at the base of her neck greeted me. She was dressed all in black and carried keys off of her hip. She reminded me more of law enforcement than a woman who cared for children. But her smile was warm enough as she called for an assistant to lead the children into the next room for viewing.
There were ten children in total and each one tugged at my heart strings. The youngest was eight, the oldest was fourteen, and every one of them looked at me with a tangible hope. But it was two children at the end holding hands that caught my eye. The freckles sprinkled across their noses were the same on both children. A constellation of tiny brown speckles sprinkled in a nearly identical pattern. I bent down to talk to the boy who looked at me with his bright green eyes. “What’s your name?”
“Daniel, ma’am. And this is my sister, Deanna.”
“Twins,” the owner of the orphanage, Miss Lily, said.
“Twins?” The thought had never occurred to me to adopt two children, but the way they were holding hands, how could I even consider separating them? Miss Lily told all of the children to say goodbye and they fluttered away with her assistant as I listened to her tell me the twins story.
“Yes,” Miss Lily said as she led me out of the room. “A very tragic story. Their parents owned a bake shop. There was a fire, and they were trapped inside.”
“Oh my! How awful for them!” I gasped. See? Phillip had this false understanding that children from orphanages came from disease-ridden, unwanted homes. But these children, Daniel and Deanna, were victims of an unfortunate situation. That’s all.
“Yes, it was. They were six years old at the time. They’ve lived here ever since. They’re nine now. Would you care for some tea?”
“A cup of tea would be lovely. Thank you.” I took off my gloves and hat while Miss Lily made our tea. My eyes wandered over her establishment. It was so dark and gloomy. These children would never grow unless they were allowed to blossom in the sun.
She set the tea on the table, and took a seat. “So, Mrs. Hanover, tell me about your husband.”
“Ex-husband, actually. Phillip and I divorced last month.” As soon as I saw the alarm on her face I knew I had made a rather grave mistake. Divorce was a horrible thing. She crossed herself and I wondered if she thought my condition was terminal or contagious. I tried to be relaxed and continued to sip my tea. “The children, Daniel and Deanna. Would you please tell me more about them?”
Miss Lily stiffened her bottom lip. “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Hanover, I was under the impression that there would be two parents to raise the children in your home.”
“Yes, I can see how that would be the ideal situation, but I can assure you I have a lovely home and my husband has left me enough money to care for myself and the children.”
“Mrs. Hanover—”
“Please, call me Ava.” I smiled as winning a smile as I could muster in hopes that she would see from that one smile what a positive and loving mother I would be to the two children who needed me greatly.
“Yes, of course, Ava. I can see that your intentions are pure, but I cannot in good conscience send these children off to be raised in a broken home. You see, it’s one thing if children are present when the marriage fails, but to knowingly place them in that kind of situation is not a good idea.”
There it was again. That word. Broken. I hated that word! My mind was racing as I tried to find an argument to combat its ugliness.
“Perhaps you could allow them to live with me on a trial basis? You could check in on them and see if they are thriving in the home I make for them? My priority will be the well-being and happiness of Daniel and Deanna.”
Miss Lily just shook her head. “I’m sorry, Ava, but that’s just not done.”
“Miss Lily, please let me explain. My husband left me because I am…” I closed my eyes momentarily, willing myself to say the word. “Barren. I was told that I will never give birth to children of my own. If you reject me when I am offering these children a safe, loving home. Well, then you’re no better than he was. You also refuse to give these two children what they so desperately need and deserve.”
She pondered my words for a moment then pursed her lips. “There is one solution. I will agree to allowing you to foster the children.”
“Foster? What does that entail?”
“It means that they will live with you, and you will care for them. However, if a suitable couple wishes to adopt them, you must give them back over to the orphanage. There can be no debate about this point.”
“So, there is a chance that no one will ever adopt them?” I asked hopefully.
“Ava, you mustn’t get your hopes up about that. If they are adopted, it will probably be even more painful to you because you would have become attached to them. But, it’s the best solution I can come up with for you and for them. Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it. When can I take them home?”
Chapter Three
I was prepared for a difficult transition for the children, but it didn’t work out that way at all. Life with the children was like a happy dream for me. We took to each other very naturally and I even began to heal from the hurt of the divorce. I began to forget all about Phillip. One day I realized that I hadn’t even thought of Phillip in several days. That made me cheerful all day long.
Daniel and Deanna had filled the void in my heart and I was content beyond measure. But still, the possibility that they could be taken away from me loomed over us like a dark plague. I prayed every night that they would one day be mine forever, but I didn’t see how that would ever happen. I didn’t have a track record of that kind of good fortune – at least not lately.
We were enjoying a hearty dinner together one night and I had a child on each side of me. The evening meal had become a time for us to talk about the day and I cherished this time together as a family. I felt like we were family after only a few days.
“If you were married, then you and your new husband could adopt us, right?” asked Daniel.
“Yes, that’s what Miss Lily said,
but I don’t see any suitors lining up outside our door for me.” I chuckled lightly and leaned over to muss up Daniel’ hair. He smiled, causing his nose to crinkle.
“Come on, Daniel. Tell Mama what you told me,” Deanna said in a rather coaxing manner.
“All right. What are you two hiding?” I asked with real curiosity.
“One of the boys at the orphanage, well, I heard him talking about why his mother left him,” continued Daniel.
I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. “And why was that?”
“Her husband died, I guess that was his dad. He said she couldn’t support him all by herself, so she went out West to find a new husband. He said that all the men out there are just looking everywhere for wives. Why not go out there and get yourself a husband? Then we can be a real family.”
His face was so sincere and I hated to burst the perfect image he had painted in his mind. “Daniel, I know it sounds like a perfect plan, but that’s just not how life works.”
“Jonathan Sanders said it was true!” Deanna said defending her brother.
I reached out and opened a hand to each of them. Daniel and Deanna looked over at me and then placed one of their hands in one of mine. I felt how small their fingers were as they laced together with mine. “I know your friend, Jonathan, said it was true and maybe it did happen that way for his mom. I wish it were possible, but I can’t leave you two here while I go off across the country to find a husband. I’ll never leave you. Ever. Got it?”
“Got it!” The children said in unison. The good moods returned as they were safe in my declaration that I was not going to abandon them for anything at all.
***
That night, after I had tucked the children into their beds, the idea Daniel’s friend told him about lingered in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibilities. Would it be so crazy to do what Matthew’s mother had done? Could I be so bold in my life? So daring?