by Annie Boone
I dismissed the notion and got ready for bed. I washed my face, brushed my hair, and cleaned my teeth. Then I said my prayers. Tonight’s prayer was especially long. I had many things to be thankful for and I felt the need to list them all. I also had concerns that I wanted to seek counsel about.
Finally, I turned down the gas light and snuggled into the covers. I couldn’t stop my mind from spinning about the potential solution to my problem. I closed my eyes to try to relax but that didn’t work. A vague memory was tickling my thoughts and I was trying to pull it out. Suddenly it came to me. My eyes flew open wide and my mind became very alert.
I remembered the newspaper in the kitchen. I used to purchase the paper every morning for Phillip and out of habit, I still did. I searched the pages until I found it: Mail Order Brides. There were several ads shown, and I was shocked at just how right little Jonathan Sanders had been. Of course I had heard of it before. But it was nothing more than women gossiping at the seamstress shop. I never paid any real attention to this sort of life choice. Until now.
I promised the children I would never leave them, and I didn’t intend to. They would not be going back to that depressing orphanage if I had any say in that matter at all. Of course this plan would involve serious details and a lot of preparation. But it could be done. After searching my heart, I knew I had what it would take to make it happen.
I studied the ads intently. There were numerous ads from men in California. That was the complete opposite side of the country and if I was planning on taking the children with me, then I would have to get as far away from New York as possible. Truthfully, the children were the only reason I’d even consider a plan such as this one.
The ads required a response via letter, but I didn’t want to wait for that. Every day I wasted could mean that some other family adopted those darling twins that I had come to love with all my heart. No, I’d have to take the ads with me and seek the men out in person. Perhaps if we’re there in person, they won’t be able to refuse the opportunity to get to know us better.
My mind was racing with my plan. I stayed up most of the night plotting everything out. I didn’t want to miss a detail. Failure would mean that the children would suffer. I would suffer greatly, too, if this plan fell through and we got caught.
I was nervous but also terribly excited. Not by the thought of a marriage, that wasn’t a consideration in my plan. It was a means to an end. Having the children safely with me was my only motivation. This plan would ensure I’d be the one to watch them grow up and have a positive influence on their lives.
Chapter Four
The next day the children awoke, and began to prepare for school, but I had other plans. “How would you two like to take a little trip instead of going to school today?”
“No school?” Daniel already had a huge grin on his face at the possibility.
“We’re playing hooky!” an excited Deanna squealed as she danced around the room.
“And actually, you’ll be out of school for a while for this little trip. The three of us are going on an adventure. It will be so much fun!”
“But, Mama, are we allowed to leave? Won’t Miss Lily check on us? She comes here every week.” Deanna pointed out.
I dropped my eyes to the open trunk in front of me and added another dress. I pretended to be busy, but mainly I didn’t want them to catch me in my lie. I felt awful not being honest with them—and I would, just not until I knew we were safely on our way. “Oh, I already arranged for everything.”
They were satisfied with that answer and began packing their possessions into a large suitcase I had gotten out for them. In an hour’s time we were packed and ready to begin. I knew the train would depart at eleven that morning, and we had plenty of time to catch it.
I had already packed two full trunks with possessions I couldn’t bear to leave behind. I had some family heirloom dishes and linens from my grandmother that would come in handy as I set up a new household in California. I also packed all my personal items so that I wouldn’t have to spend money to replace these things when we reached our destination. The trunks were heavy, but they would travel in the train cargo area just fine, I was sure.
I had arranged for a delivery service to take our cargo to the train station and they would be arriving shortly to pick them up. We would be leaving immediately after that to go to the station.
The reality that I most likely may never see my home again, caused me to waver. But only for a moment. I looked down into the faces of the two who had captured my heart only a few months ago. They were everything to me now. I would do anything for them.
“What’s wrong?” Deanna asked, seeing how my mood had altered for a moment. I was looking over every detail of the comfortable house that Phillip and I had created together. The irony hit me that as soon as there were children within the walls of this house, I was the one departing.
It truly was time to move on. It was time for me to claim my destiny.
I stopped what I was doing and put my hands on Deanna’s shoulders. I beamed a smile at her and replied, “Absolutely nothing, sweetheart.”
***
The train pulled up, and the look on the faces of the twins made me so proud that I was able to offer them this little luxury. They had never been on board a train and although Phillip and I had done our share of traveling, it was still exciting to me when the conductor called for us to board.
I watched as the men loaded our luggage, and I suddenly felt like a criminal. I was sneaking away with these children. We would most likely never see New York again, and I wasn’t even honest with them. True, their parents were gone, but it was the only town they ever knew. The only school they had ever attended. They had friends and they enjoyed their life there.
“Let’s hurry and get on!” Daniel shouted as he started to jump up onto the steps.
“Just a minute, Daniel. I need to tell you and Deanna something first.”
“Can’t you tell us on the train?” he whined.
“No, I can’t. I think it’s best if you know before we board.”
Deanna slipped her hand in mine. “It’s all right. What is it, Mama?”
I took a deep breath before I made my confession. I also looked around us to make sure that nobody would overhear what I was about to say. “I gave what you said last night a lot of thought.”
“What did we say?” Daniel asked. Typical boy, he didn’t even remember the dinner conversation from the night before. I wanted to laugh, but I had to get this done quickly so we could be on our way.
“About Jonathan Sanders and why his mother left.” The twins looked at each other and exchanged a grin.
“So, is that what we’re doing? Are we going to find you a husband?” Deanna squealed.
I shrugged. “Looks like it. But please keep your voices down for now. We don’t want anyone to hear this right now.”
The children began jumping for joy. “This is so exciting,” they whispered enthusiastically to each other.
“It is exciting, but I must be honest with you. Miss Lily, well she doesn’t really know about this.” My mouth was dry as I told them the truth about the lie I had told that morning.
The twins looked at me with wide eyes. Their jaws dropped in surprise. “Oh, no,” said Daniel.
“She would never allow us to go out of New York together. This would never work if she knew about it. Do you understand?”
“Do you think she’ll come after us?” Daniel asked a look of concern on his face. He looked older all of a sudden, like he wanted to protect us somehow. I was so proud of his brave spirit at that moment.
“I honestly don’t know. But I cannot adopt you without a husband and I want to adopt you as my own very, very much. This is a risk I must take.” I knelt down to their level. “I’m doing this for you and for me. For all three of us.”
“Then, I think we should go,” Deanna said.
“Me too,” Daniel agreed.
I threw my arms around the
m and held them in a tight embrace. I already loved them so much and could not for a moment imagine my world without them. I stood back and looked at them. I had one more bit of news that couldn’t wait.
“I also need to tell you that I made our train passage reservations under new names. I didn’t get a chance to ask you what you’d want your new name to be, so I hope you like what I chose for you.”
Deanna nodded and replied, “I like it that you’ve chosen names for us. It’s almost like you renamed us when we became yours.”
I felt tears fill my eyes. In my heart these children were mine even if I hadn’t given birth to them. I was giving them a new life just as I was taking one for myself.
“Daniel, you are now named Oliver Graves. Deanna, you are now named Vivian Graves,” I said with a little uncertainty as I watched them to see their reactions.
Daniel nodded. “I like it.” Then he smiled.
Deanna smiled immediately and said, “Oh, what a beautiful name! Maybe I’ll grow up to be beautiful, too. Just like you, Mama.”
My heart melted at their trusting acceptance of my plan and their obvious love for me. At that moment, I was more than sure I was doing the right thing.
“And I’m changing my name from Ava Hanover to Emily Graves.”
Then the conductor stepped onto the platform and brought a hand to the side of his mouth, making his voice echo. “All aboard! All aboard! This is a New York train bound for Sacramento, California. Final call for passengers! Final call!”
“Well, Vivian, Oliver, I do believe he is speaking to us! Let’s get on this train so it doesn’t leave without us!” We scurried onto the train as a family, throwing caution to the wind and embracing our great adventure. The quest to find my husband and a father for the children had begun.
It was all in motion now. There would be no turning back for me and my little ready-made family.
Chapter Five
The entire train ride to California we practiced our story, making sure we had it down to the last detail so we wouldn’t forget it. I kept reminding the children, and myself, that we must become the people in our story. We had to make it all believable.
We were indeed a family in every sense of the word, so that part was easy. They didn’t have to learn to call me a new name since they had been calling me “Mama” since about a month into their time with me. At least that part was easy.
Our story had several important points that we worked on constantly during the journey. My husband, the twin’s father had died when he had been thrown from a horse two years ago. We tried to make it on our own, but we were running out of money and needed a fresh start and perhaps new opportunities. Our story took on bits of the truth where possible and we included that the twins had talked me into making this move.
The journey was long and tiring. When we finally arrived in Sacramento we were bleary eyed from seeing the countryside passing by us through a small window. All I wanted was a bath and a decent bed. The children didn’t care about a bath, but they did need to sleep.
We found a hotel suitable for our needs above a restaurant. There was a lively feeling to this part of the town. I feared we’d never get any sleep with the way the customers below were laughing and singing. I was worried it would go on to all hours of the night. As it turned out, I need not have worried about that. The three of us were so tired that the noise wouldn’t bother us at all that night.
I knew I needed to narrow down my husband search, but that task could wait until morning. Within a few minutes the children were snoring and the sound lulled me to sleep as I dreamed of what our future would be.
***
In the morning, we all took a much needed bath. I felt revived as did the children, though they were less inclined to relish the feeling than I was. Once we were presentable again, we went down to the restaurant for breakfast. The smell of eggs, bacon, and coffee was very comforting. As the children smiled happily over their warm meal I scanned the ads again.
“Did you find any you like?” Vivian asked as she reached for more bacon.
“Why yes. Three actually. Hopefully one of them will be a good match.”
“Tell us about them.” Oliver said his mouth so filled with egg it was almost impossible to understand him.
“Oliver, mind your table manners.”
He blushed but swallowed and then asked again. “Could you tell us about them, please, Mama?”
Now I was the one blushing. I pulled my chair closer and showed them the paper where I had circled three ads. “This one sounds ideal. His name is Dr. Charles Watson.” Vivian leaned over.
“He’s quite handsome,” she smiled at me sheepishly.
“And a doctor means money, right?” Oliver asked as he popped another piece of bacon into his mouth. Vivian and I looked at him crossly. “What? I was just being honest.”
“Try not to be so honest, Oliver. It’s rude.” Vivian said as she rolled her eyes. “What about the other ones, Mama?”
I felt my eyes sting. Every time they referred to me as their mother it made me realize the enormous responsibility I had taken on. It still tugged at my heart whenever either of them called me their mama. I think they enjoyed having someone in their life to fill the role. It had been a while since they had a mother figure in their lives and It had been forever since I had been one.
“The second is a man who works in construction.”
“That means he builds things, right?” Oliver wanted to confirm.
“I know what it means!” Vivian gave him a shove in the arm.
I chose to ignore their sibling squabble, at least this time. “His name is Vance Gifford, I’m rather fond of his picture.” Vivian nodded in agreement.
“And the third candidate is a rancher, Henry Sawyer.” Vivian screwed her nose up at his picture and I laughed. “Well, beggars can’t be choosers, can they?”
“You’re not a beggar. You’re beautiful,” Oliver affirmed.
“He’s right. Any man would be happy to have you.” Vivian chirped. I smiled. I felt so special that these two loved me so much and were not embarrassed to shower me with compliments.
I hadn’t thought of Phillip for a while, but Vivian’s emphatic claim that any man would want me couldn’t be more untrue. I was in this mess because the one man who had me, left me. I thought I had reconciled that in my mind, but I was emotional with the changes I was making.
Rejection wasn’t an easy thing for any person to take. Phillip’s rejection and the reason for it had devastated me. I hoped that I would be able to handle any new rejection that might be headed my way as I set out to find a father for my twins.
Chapter Six
I sought out the parson of the town, Pastor Brown, and asked his advice on what I should do with the children. Telling him our sad tale, he encouraged me to place them in the local school for now. I told him that I didn’t know if things would work out for us in Sacramento or how long we would be here, but he felt it was more beneficial to them to attend school and have a sense of normality.
After thought and prayer, I agreed Pastor Brown’s suggestion. The next day, I enrolled the twins in school.
With the children at school, I was free to officially meet the men who might be eligible candidates. I headed over to the doctor’s office and met with an elderly woman who sat at a little desk in a tiny waiting room with two chairs. “May I help you?”
“I hope so,” I said with a smile. “I don’t have an appointment, but I was hoping to meet with Dr. Watson.”
“Certainly. He’s just finishing up with a patient. You can sign this sheet and he’ll be with you shortly.”
“Thank you.” I signed and waited in the chair, happy that she didn’t inquire further about any ailments I may have had. But I couldn’t help but notice she kept looking up at me.
“I’m sorry. Have we met before? I feel like I know all of my son’s patients.” So this was Dr. Watson’s mother. Well she seemed nice enough. What if she was my future mother-in-law
?
“No. I’m new in town.”
“Oh!” She straightened up. “Welcome. Where did you come from?”
The door creaked open and two men walked out. I was relieved by the distraction. One was an older man who appeared to be a farmer, judging by the way he was dressed. He wore a plaid shirt, trousers that were tattered a bit, and suspenders. His boots were caked with dirt. He held his hat in his hands, twirling it around and around.
Beside the older man, dressed impeccably in a black jacket and knotted loose bow tie was the man who must be Dr. Watson. I recognized him from his picture, and he was even more handsome in person. The men spoke for a bit about the elixir the doctor had prescribed and then Dr. Watson’s mother saw the farmer out.
Dr. Watson turned to me, a bright smile on his face. He offered me his hand, “I don’t recall seeing you before. I’m Dr. Charles Watson.”
“Emily Graves. My family and I just came from out East.”
“That’s a rough road to travel. I suspect you want to make sure you didn’t pick up any health issues along the way.”
“It wasn’t so bad, we traveled by train.”
“How lovely. I’m sure you got to see so much of our great country.”
“That we did,” I replied politely.
The doctor opened the door to his examining room and I was grateful when I stepped inside and was away from his mother’s prying eyes and ears. He sat on the edge of his table where I assumed the last patient had just been lying and looked at me thoughtfully. “So what can I do for you? Thorough check-up?”
“Uh. No.” I opened my bag and pulled the crinkled advertisement out. “I’m sorry to come uninvited, and without a proper letter being sent to you sooner. My life out East has had several hardships, and I wanted a new start. For me, and my two children. I have twins, Oliver and Vivian. They’re nine. We lost my husband in an accident, and well… I came across this.” I extended my hand to offer him the newspaper page. He accepted the page and nodded, reading it over. He didn’t respond.