Firefly Hollow

by Haddix, T. L.

  “I’m sorry.” There wasn’t really much more Owen could say. The loss was tragic, and words wouldn’t change that.

  “Yeah, me, too. There’s been too damned much death lately.” Jack picked up a small rock and tossed it into the pool. “Why’d Randall have to kill them, anyhow? He could have let her go, been the injured party. Son of a bitch would have had women lined up to soothe him.”

  “Because if he let her go, everyone would know he was a failure,” Owen said. “That’s the way my brother would have seen it, anyhow. As an assault on his manhood.”

  “Did Sarah tell you that Randall raped Kathy? Before he shot Clay, he raped her, and he made Clay watch. How the hell does she get over that?”

  Owen closed his eyes, sick at the thought. “I don’t know.”

  “I want to go get him out of the ground and kill him all over again. If I believed he’d know I was doing it, I would.”

  “They’ve already had his funeral?” Owen asked, surprised.

  “Yesterday. His brother stopped by the garage today and let me know his parents won’t be at the kids’ funerals.”

  “But those kids are their grandchildren.”

  “Not to them, not anymore. They’re Kathy’s children, and they blame her for all of this.” Jack rubbed his eyes, and he looked years older than he had the last time Owen had seen him. “Speaking of my sisters. What are you going to do about Sarah?”

  Owen peeled the label off his bottle, scowling at the paper as it tore. “Beg her forgiveness. If I can get that, then I’m planning to marry her as soon as I can. I know I’ve hurt her, and I haven’t handled things the way I should.”

  To his surprise, Jack clapped him on the shoulder. “How much of that is because you’re an ass, and how much is because you’re a shifter?”

  The question startled a laugh out of Owen. “Two halves of the same coin, I’m afraid. I just hope I can get Sarah to understand, and to trust me again.”

  “For what it’s worth, I hope you can. But if you ever treat her like you have the last few weeks again, I’ll kick your ass. I won’t pull my punches next time.”

  Owen stared a Sarah’s brother in shock. “Pull your… you sneaky son of a gun. You were trying to find out how easy I was to make angry.”

  “Did you really think I’d let Sarah get involved with you again if you had a temper like Randall’s? After what happened this week?”

  “No. And I’m not upset that you did it. I understand your reasoning.”

  Jack smiled. “Good. Oh, by the way, I don’t think you’re a mama’s boy. But that sure didn’t sit well with you.”

  “No, my brother used that taunt against me when we were growing up. After the last few weeks, I’m worn a little thin, and you touched a nerve.” Owen stood, and Jack followed suit. “Did you all have any idea Randall was like that? That he’d go off the way he did?”

  “No, he never so much as raised a hand to her that I ever saw. None of us would have allowed that if he had. But now, looking back, I wonder.”

  They started down the trail.

  “Wonder about what?” Owen asked.

  Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, they stayed with us off and on after they got married. I don’t know if Sarah’s told you this or not, but they were loud. Like, really loud. The first three months they were married, nobody else in the house slept well.”

  “You mean when they were…?” Owen’s face heated, and he saw that Jack’s had, as well.

  “Yeah. And now that I’m married, I’m wondering about that. Whether or not it was all for show, or he was hurting her and we didn’t realize it. Or if that was his way of marking his territory, so to speak. Hell, I don’t know.”

  “I’m surprised your parents didn’t say something to them, especially with you and Sarah still at home.”

  Jack stopped as they came out of the woods and crossed his arms much like Sarah did when she was uncomfortable. “I think Dad did say something. It would die down for a while, and then start back up again. After about the third time, Randall and Kathy moved out.” He used his chin to point to the back porch where Sarah and Gilly sat talking. “Think they’ll let us back in the house now?”

  “Only one way to find out.”

  As Jack pled their case to Gilly, Owen thought back over everything they’d discussed. He had a lot to answer for, and he wasn’t sure how to make up for all the hurt he’d caused. The idea of what Kathy had gone through, not just on Monday evening, but throughout her married life with Randall, made Owen look at Sarah’s sister in a whole new light. And what Jack had told him about his friend, Harold, made Owen look at himself differently, as well. He thought he’d been brave and stoic by hiding himself away from people. Instead, he’d been doing the same thing Harold Muncy had done, only slower. He’d been punishing himself for being what he was born as, something he couldn’t change.

  Owen was tired of hiding. If Sarah hadn’t looked so tired, he would have swept her away and confessed everything right then and there. He wanted a life with her. Right that moment, he chose to live, instead of just existing.

  All he could do was hope she still felt the same way.

  Later that evening, after Owen had gone back up the mountain and Gilly had gone to take a bath, Sarah and Jack sat out on the front porch. They’d spent many a summer evening playing in the front yard, chasing fireflies, and playing card games or checkers with Eliza and Ira. Kathy had been there, too, but less so in recent years, and Sarah and Jack had gotten close.

  “What do you think I should do?” she asked him. She pushed the swing with her foot, sending it gently swaying.

  “About what?”

  “About Owen, of course. The two of you seemed to have come to terms with each other.”

  Jack stretched his arm across the back of the swing. “I like him. Despite how he’s acted lately, I like him. He’s not without flaws, but I believe he’s essentially a good man.”

  Sarah turned and tilted her head. “What about him not contacting me for so long? Do I ignore that?”

  “No, ma’am. Not even close. But sis, good men sometimes do stupid things. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good men. It simply means they’re human.”

  “And you really think he’s a good man? That I should give him a second chance?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Hmm. I once asked Mama how to tell the good men from the bad. She told me some things to look out for, and then she said that it still comes down to being very, very lucky.” She stopped the swing and stood, then bent down and hugged Jack. “I think Gilly is very, very lucky. Goodnight.”

  “Night. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

  Sarah smiled as she went inside and climbed the stairs. Jack’s opinion meant a lot to her, but she had to make up her own mind. She had to trust her instincts and believe in her heart that Owen was the right man for her. She had to be able to trust him again with her heart, her body, and her soul, even. Tonight wasn’t the time to decide something that important, but Sarah thought she’d know very soon what her answer would be.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  WHAT SARAH HELPED HER MOTHER do the next day was one of the hardest things she’d ever done in her life, and something she hoped she’d never have to do again—plan her niece and nephew’s funeral. Jack drove her into town, where they picked up Eliza. Nancy was with Kathy, waiting to drive her home as soon as the doctor released her.

  Sarah, Jack, and Eliza were all three exhausted by the time they finished at the funeral home, and hardly a word was spoken on the drive back to the house. Though it had only taken a couple of hours, it felt like a lifetime had passed.

  Owen had offered to help finish the house painting, and they’d gratefully taken him up on it. He and Gilly were sitting on the porch, taking a break. They stood and came to
meet the car.

  “Nancy isn’t here yet with Kathy?” Jack asked as they got out of the vehicle.

  “No. She called a little while ago. The doctor had just come in, so they’re going to be an hour or two still,” Gilly said, greeting him with a kiss. “Several of the neighbors have stopped by, and there’s all kinds of food inside if you all are hungry.”

  Food held little appeal to Sarah at the moment. She squeezed Gilly’s hand as she walked past her on the way to the house. “I’m going to change clothes.”

  Upstairs, Sarah felt as though she were moving through a fog. She changed out of the dress she’d worn to the funeral home and hung it up, then pulled a loose sundress out of the closet. She stood staring at it as though she’d never seen it before. A knock on the door startled her out of her reverie.

  “Just a minute,” she called and slipped the dress over her head. The bodice laced up, and she tightened it as she walked over and opened the door.

  “I wanted to check on you,” her mother said.

  Standing back, Sarah let Eliza in and closed the door behind her. “I’m okay,” she said as she moved to one of the open windows.

  “Are you?”

  Sarah unpinned her hair and started brushing it. “No. I’m not. But things are what they are, and I don’t know what to do to change any of it.”

  “What do you want to do?” Eliza sat down on the bed and slipped off her shoes with a tired sigh.

  “I don’t know. I feel like someone came in during the middle of the night and swept me away to some alternate reality. This is my life, but it isn’t. Everything’s changed, and everything that was good a week or two ago is gone.”

  “Oh, sweetie, believe me, I understand. What about Owen? He’s here.”

  Sarah straightened the bottles on her dresser. “Is he? Do you think he’s really here to stay, or is this all for show?” she asked, using the hairbrush to gesture toward the end of the house where Owen was painting.

  Eliza patted the bed. “Come sit down. Tell me what in the world happened with you two. We’ve not had a chance to talk about it.”

  Desperately needing her mother’s feedback, Sarah sat. She told her mother everything, only leaving out the details of the day she and Owen had been intimate and her crazy suspicions that Owen might be more than human.

  When she finished, Eliza shook her head. “What did this epic letter say?”

  “I haven’t read it yet. I didn’t have the energy.”

  “Are you afraid to?”

  Sarah glanced at her mother with a huff of laughter. “Scared to death. Because if he’s not apologetic, it’s over. And if he is apologetic, then I have to figure out if I’m strong enough to trust him again. I don’t want it to be over.”

  Eliza put her arm around Sarah. “He doesn’t act like it’s over.”

  “That makes it harder, not easier. Oh, Mama, what should I do?” She covered her face with her hands.

  “You know I can’t tell you that, Sarah Jane.”

  “How did I know you were going to say that?” Sarah picked up a rubber band from the nightstand and twisted her hair into a ponytail. “But I’m asking anyhow. I need your advice, Mama. Please.”

  Eliza ran her hand down the arch of the wrought iron footboard. “If it were me, I’d start by reading his letter. Whatever else happens, I think that’s necessary.” She sighed. “The next few days are going to be incredibly difficult, perhaps even more so than when your father died. I wish he were here, Sarah. I wonder how much of this would be different if he were still here.”

  “Has Kathy talked to you yet, about what happened?”

  “Some. She wants to go back to Georgia with Nancy and me as soon as she’s able to travel. I think that’s probably the best thing for her.”

  “There are a lot of people around here who think she got exactly what she deserved for cheating on Randall. Did she tell you that the baby wasn’t his?” Sarah asked.

  “Yes. And I think she knows how people feel. I certainly don’t condone what she did, but it’s ridiculous to blame the victim for the crime.”

  Sarah stretched her legs out in front of her and studied the almost-healed scrapes from where she’d tripped on Monday. “When she was here Monday, she seemed so happy, so content. We were kids the last time I saw her like that, Mama. We actually talked, spent time together as sisters.”

  “I’ve been doing nothing but thinking this past week. I wonder how long Randall had been abusing her,” Eliza said. “Because it doesn’t make sense that he’d go from being neglectful and unfaithful, which we know he was, to murderous. And I’m starting to think she’s been hiding a lot from us for a very long time. That’s something I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my days.”

  “You can’t help someone if you don’t know they need help. We all missed it, Mama. Not just you. And from what little Kathy said, I think she wanted to hide how he treated her. She was ashamed of it.”

  “That doesn’t matter. She’s my daughter. I should have known.”

  “Well, she’s my sister, and I saw her that day. I should have stopped her, made her stay here.”

  “That’s ridiculous! There’s no way you could have known what he was capable of. None of us did.”

  Leaning in to look directly into her mother’s eyes, Sarah said, “Exactly. None of us knew.”

  Eliza threw her hands in the air. “Fine. You’ve made your point.” She stood and headed for the door. “It’s going to be rough when Kathy gets here. I’ll have to sit her down, go over the arrangements. You might want to take a walk, get out of here for a while. You probably won’t get a chance for the next few days.”

  “I think I will, if you don’t need me,” Sarah agreed. “Mama, what about after the funeral? Is everyone going to come to the house?”

  “No. Gilly said Silas and Ethel Combs stopped by while we were out. They’ve offered to have the wake at their house. I think that’ll be the best for everyone.” She stopped at the door. “The next few weeks are probably not going to be easy for any of us, especially in town. I don’t blame your sister for what happened—the responsibility for that lies on Randall’s shoulders—but I do resent that the scandal’s going to be hard on the rest of the family. I have to get over that, I know.”

  “We’ll weather it. And as far as blame goes, Clay’s the one who had to open his mouth. If he’d just kept his own council, they could have left without Randall being any the wiser until it was too late.”

  “And then he might have come up here, killed you and Jack and Gilly.”

  Sarah crossed the room and laid her hand on Eliza’s. “Mama, we can second-guess until the end of eternity, and it won’t change what happened. All we can do is move forward and try to pick up the pieces.”

  Sarah only felt a little guilty that she made sure Owen was busy in the front yard before she sneaked out the back door. After a mad dash into the woods, she slowed to a walk. She needed to go to the pool, to try and gain some perspective on everything, and she didn’t want him to know she’d gone.

  When she reached the pool, she climbed to the top of the boulder and sat with her legs dangling over the edge. The day was warm and clear. Sarah leaned back and braced her weight on her elbows, turning her face up to the sun. It didn’t take long for the sunshine and fresh air to work a little magic, and Sarah was surprised by a yawn. She considered the blanket she’d brought with her.

  “What the heck. I should be fine.” She spread the quilt and, using her book bag as a pillow, stretched out and promptly went to sleep.

  When she woke up a short time later, the mysterious deer was standing over her, sniffling her hair.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  AFTER NANCY AND KATHY ARRIVED, Eliza shooed Owen off with a smile and a small basket of food. A little perturbed,
as he’d gotten a good start on painting the house, he resisted at first.

  “But I’ve just gotten this side prepped. I’ll stay out of your way.”

  Eliza touched his arm. “Sweetie, I think you need a break. Take a walk in the woods. Take in the scenery. But I want you to go.” When Owen’s shoulders slumped, she sighed. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Owen. You can come back. I’m not banishing you. And don’t worry about the painting supplies. Jack can take care of those.”

  He scowled. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Tell Sarah I… never mind. Thanks for the food.”

  Still feeling out of sorts, Owen headed home. He didn’t see Sarah asleep on the rock until he was almost on top of her. Eliza’s pushing him out the door suddenly made a lot more sense.

  Putting the food basket down carefully, he squatted beside her. A silky strand of dark hair had come loose from her ponytail and fallen across her face, and Owen brushed it back. Sarah mumbled, but didn’t awaken.

  Indecision filled Owen. He wanted to sit there beside her, watch over her and protect her while she slept. However, he realized that she had snuck out and not let him know she was coming to the pool because she wanted to be alone. He didn’t want to infringe on her privacy, but his instincts told him to not leave her by herself, either.

  The sun felt good on his back, and the musical tinkling of the water flowing down the rocks of the stream made for a soothing lullaby. He could understand why Sarah had fallen asleep; he was tempted to curl up with her. But he didn’t even want to think how she’d react to that. It occurred to him that he could do both: stay near and give her the solitude she wanted. All he had to do was shift into the deer. The decision made, he went up the hill to change.