Endless Fear

by Adrianne Lee

  At the sound of his mother’s voice, Spencer cocked his head toward her. She had stepped forward, away from July, away from the huddled group. Her face was as ashen as the sky.

  For the first time since this ordeal had begun, a grin parted Spencer’s lips. “It looks like April’s other earring.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Everyone spoke at once. Voices collided in surprise, then speculation tempered with hope. For all but one, the discovery of April’s second earring was good news. For that person the find caused shock, then apprehension spiked with panic.

  No! No! April couldn’t be alive wandering around in the caverns leading to Calendar House, perhaps making her way at this very moment into the basement, perhaps remembering. Have to get back. Have to stop her.

  But…running ahead of the others would be a mistake—an open admission of guilt.

  Must calm down. Must think.

  The person inhaled slowly and deeply, then exhaled with restraint, all the while watching the others. No one had moved toward the house yet. Indeed, most appeared to not fully comprehend the meaning of the earring on the ledge. Absorbing this fact brought a lessening of tension, a sharpening of reason.

  Need a head start. The woods are less than twenty feet away. And…not a soul has counted heads. In all this confusion I could surely make it to the cover of the trees and return undetected. Without another thought, the person edged to the rear of the group, dashed into the woods, and headed for the house.

  No one knows the passageways like me. They’ll waste precious seconds in that black maze. By the time they discover the right tunnel, it’ll all be over.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Daddy is April in one of the smuggler’s tunnels?” July’s expression was a tangle of hope and excitement.

  August squatted before his young daughter and pulled her onto his lap. “Maybe…”

  Spencer ignored the note of caution in his stepfather’s tone, ignored the warning voice inside his own head. The hell with not getting his hopes up, they were already lifting with frightening speed. April had to be in the caverns. She had to be alive. “Let’s go find her.”

  Within seconds, they were hastening enmasse toward the house.

  August strode beside Spencer, his face crinkled in thought. After a moment he said, “We’ll need crowbars to pry the boards off the tunnel accesses.”

  “Not necessary.” Spencer informed him. “Last night, Thane and I found a cave opening that isn’t boarded up.”

  “What?” August jerked to a stop. His brows dipped incredulously. “Are you certain?”

  His surprise struck Spencer as being completely genuine, and he realized he had never really considered August capable of doing April harm. Urging him to continue walking, Spencer quickly and quietly explained discovering the blanket-covered cave access.

  The only thing that kept August from stopping again was Spencer tugging him along. He sputtered, “W…what’s going on?”

  Spence shrugged. He had his suspicions, but now was not the place, nor the time to share them. The wrong person might overhear.

  Plus, August was too worried about his elder daughter to have to reckon with the fact that someone in the household may have tried to kill her. Let them find April first, then they could deal with the rest.

  “We’ll still need the crowbars. I’m not certain all the accesses lead to the same outlet. We can’t be sure she’s in the cavern you and Thane explored.”

  August consigned the task of securing the right tools to Karl.

  “I’ll help you get the stuff.” Thane volunteered. “Come on. We can cut across to the tool shed from here.” The two men set off at a run.

  As the others neared Calendar House minutes later, Spencer realized he was not going to be able to put off telling August about his call to the Sheriff. Sitting on the porch steps were a man and a woman. He didn’t know either. The man, however, was easily identifiable in his San Juan County Sheriff’s uniform. As she rose and brushed at the seat of her brown corduroy pants, Spencer guessed the female might be April’s psychiatrist, Nancy Merritt.

  “Dr. Merritt,” August confirmed, stepping toward the couple. He glanced at the deputy with lifted brows. “Murphy, what are you doing here?”

  Before Deputy Murphy could answer, the doctor asked, “Has April been found?”

  “No yet,” Spencer answered impatiently. He felt like a race horse being held at the gate against his will.

  Forcing a polite smile, he introduced himself to the doctor, a thin woman, plain by nature and design. Her brown hair was cropped around her face as unattractively as a stocking cap, but, for all their lack of enhancement, hers were the warmest brown eyes Spencer had ever encountered. “We have reason to believe April is in one of the several old tunnels that extend from beneath the house to the cliffs beyond. We’re going there now.”

  “By all means,” Dr. Merritt said. “Let’s proceed.”

  But the deputy wasn’t about to be shuffled aside. “Mr. Garrick.” He cut in front of Spencer, glanced down at a notepad, then up. “I’ll take it this April is the same missing person you called in about.”

  Spencer felt his mouth go dry. The last thing he wanted to do right now was answer any of this man’s questions. “Yes,” he said, dodging to one side of the guy in hopes of getting past him.

  The officer countered his move. “What’s going on? You all act like she might be alive, but according to the report you filed you suspected foul play.”

  Several gasps punctuated the morning air. Spencer felt heat rush into his face and out again in rapid succession.

  Judging the scarlet tinge of August’s complexion, he hadn’t taken this news any better. His blood pressure was likely skyrocketing. “Spence, what’s Murphy talking about?”

  “August, Officer, I’ll explain later. Right now I want to find April.”

  For a moment, it appeared the scowling deputy was about to pull rank. Dr. Merritt gave him no chance. “Officer, my patient may or may not be alive, but if she’s been exposed to the cold all night—it’s imperative she be our main priority. Can’t your questions wait?”

  “All right, but not indefinitely.”

  Spencer rushed into the house.

  * * * *

  April was so cold and weary she hardly noticed the pain in her ankle anymore. Like a plane on automatic pilot, she proceeded through the cavern. Her pace was clumsy, but she didn’t notice. The new memories monopolized her tired mind.

  Although the accident was something awful to remember, she could only assume she had blocked it all out because she’d so often—as angry children did—wished her mother would die. And yet…

  A niggling doubt kept jabbing her powers of reason. When had Lily died? In her recollection, she remembered being terrified as she leaned over her injured mother, but when had she became hysterical to the point of amnesia? If the blockage had been surmounted, why couldn’t she recall this part? She needed to talk to Dr. Merritt. Nancy could help her straighten out this confusion.

  April yawned. The air tasted unpleasant yet breathable, but every pore in her body seemed to ache. She needed rest. Exhausted, she lowered herself to the earthen floor and curled into a ball attempting to stave off the bitter cold. She wouldn’t stay here long, she told herself. Her eyelids drooped shut.

  Feeling sleep drift over her, she was struck by a thought more chilling and foul than the air. If she’d remembered everything, why had someone tried to kill her? April sat up straight, instantly wide awake. As far as she could see, nothing about Lily’s death pointed to a reason. And yet, someone had tried to kill her.

  She rubbed her fingertips against her temples. It was ridiculous to think Spencer could imagine her any kind of threat.. Had something else happened when she and Lily were left alone? Had she done something to end Lily’s life?

  Had someone else?

  Terror gave April renewed strength. She shoved to her knees and began to stand. A light bobbed toward her. H
ope squeezed her chest, but she choked back the urge to cry out. Was the person coming at her friend or foe?

  Pressing against the wall, April tried to make herself small, invisible. The light hit her full in the face. A voice echoed through the darkness, speaking her name.

  And suddenly April was fourteen years old again, in the basement, kneeling beside an injured Lily, hearing this same person speak her name, seeing this familiar figure emerge—not from the shadows of the cavern—but from the larder.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Tightly clutching her mother’s hand, April stared at the person emerging from the larder doorway. As light fell on the familiar form, she choked on a sob. “Helga! Lily fell down the stairs. She’s hurt. Help her. Please, help her.”

  Concentrating once again on her mother, April saw Lily’s beautiful face was a twisted mask of pain. Tears were seeping from her large aqua eyes, rolling across her temples into her long hair which lay swirled about her head like a golden fan.

  The housekeeper rushed forward and dropped to her knees. “She’s shivering. Probably shock. Quick, child. Run get a blanket.”

  Panic bunched inside April and, for precious seconds, the instructions failed to penetrate her stunned mind. Then she tried to move, but Lily moaned, clinging to her hand with a strength that was surprising under the circumstances.

  Helga gasped at her in disbelief. “I said hurry, child.”

  April managed to free herself and stumble to her feet. She backed away from her mother, recoiling from the awful spectacle of her agony, her whimpering cries. She lurched for the staircase. Hurry! But her heart was pounding so fast she could barely breathe and her legs were as stiff and heavy as lead pipes. The landing seemed a mile away.

  Lily moaned.

  Petrified, April froze. Could the doctor get here in time? The question seemed to lift her lethargy. She sped up the last of the stairs and crossed the landing, all the while listening to her mother’s muted weeping and Helga’s droning responses

  April assumed the housekeeper was trying to calm Lily, but as she opened the door leading into the kitchen, she detected fury in Helga’s voice. Surprise brought her spinning around. She forgot about the blanket, forgot about the probable shock, and let go of the door. As it bumped shut behind her, April peered over the railing, listening.

  Helga wasn’t trying to calm Lily. She was angry, accusing. Something about Lily and Jesse. Something about a secret room beneath the tool shed. Alarm bells rang inside her head. April scooted to the staircase.

  “I used to have such respect for you—Miss Lily Cordell—Miss World Famous Movie Star. To think, I was your biggest fan.” Helga spat the words at Lily. “Except for my Karl, working for you has been the greatest joy of my life. Believe it or not, I could even understand and forgive Jesse for falling under the spell of your beauty and charm.”

  April moved onto the stairs and started a quiet descent. Helga gripped Lily by both upper arms.

  Lily groaned.

  Helga seemed oblivious to the actress’s evident pain. Her eyes narrowed. “Now you’ve shown your true colors. You didn’t care a whit for my Jesse. He hasn’t been dead two months, and here you are seducing young Spencer. For the love of God,” Helga raged, shaking Lily by the shoulders. “He’s only eighteen years old. Next thing, you’ll be after my Karl.”

  An agonized gasp issued from Lily.

  Horrified, April lunged down the risers. “No! Helga, don’t move her!”

  Her warning came too late.

  The whisper snap of Lily’s neck seemed the loudest sound April had ever heard. “Noooo!” She raced to her mother’s sprawled body.

  Helga staggered backward, obviously appalled at what she had done.

  April collapsed beside Lily and clutched one limp hand to her heart. “Mommy?”

  Lily didn’t answer. She couldn’t. As this realization sank in, all the remembered resentments, hatreds, attacked April’s conscience, indicting her for her mother’s death. Be careful what you wish for. It might come true. April shook her head. She hadn’t really meant for her mother to die. Had she?

  Helplessness and guilt welled inside her, knitting together in a snarl of horror so great her mind could neither comprehend nor deal with it. “I’m sorry, Lily. I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

  That was how they’d found her. Kneeling over Lily, murmuring those words.

  Helga must have retreated into the larder until the others had arrived.

  April took a deep shuddering breath and laid her head against the dank cavern wall. She felt as though a weight the size of Calendar House had been lifted from her. The niggling guilt gone. Lily Cordell had been a tragic woman who died a tragic death, but it was not her daughter’s fault. At long last, April could truly forgive her mother all the injustices that had been inflicted on her and let go of her anger.

  “You’ve remembered, haven’t you, missy?” Helga’s voice was menacing.

  It cut through April’s thoughts with chilling precision. She lifted her hand to block the beam of light poking her eyes and, keeping her movements slow and careful, she stood. “You sent the anonymous note, didn’t you?”

  “You shouldn’t have come.” The housekeeper’s tone was accusing, implying April, instead of she, was to blame for her murderous actions. An icy squiggle of fear crawled through April’s belly. Helga stood less than three feet away, blocking the tunnel which led to the house.

  There was something shiny in her other hand. A butcher knife, April realized with stunned horror. Likely the one she’d used to trash Lily’s furniture and portrait, likely the one Karl had been sharpening the other day. A scream tore from her.

  Helga laughed. “Go ahead. Yell ‘til you’re hoarse. No one’s gonna hear. They’re still out on the cliff trying to figure out what to do.”

  Moisture evaporated from April’s mouth and sprang up her hands. Terrified, she staggered backward, twisting the tender ankle..

  The knife’s blade flashed in the light as Helga slashed it through the air separating them. “Everything was fine as long as you didn’t remember.”

  This reasoning made no sense to April. “You’re wrong, Helga. It’s good that I’ve remembered. Now I can tell the others it was a mistake. You didn’t mean to kill Lily.”

  “Can’t you see that won’t matter? Your ma was a movie star. Somebody like me can’t just take the life of a Lily Cordell and not pay for it.”

  “B…but it w…was an accident. Why didn’t you tell them?”

  “Who was gonna believe me? If I’d told the cops why I was so angry, I would’ve had to explain about Lily and Jesse. That’d be handing ‘em my motive on a fancy platter. And you couldn’t even speak your own name, let alone testify for me.”

  “We’ll go to the Sheriff now and set the record straight.”

  “No! I won’t have Jesse’s name dragged through the tabloids. Those reporters don’t care whose name they dirty or who gets hurt by their nasty words.” She slashed the knife at April’s middle. It snagged her parka. Fabric tore.

  Shrieking, April hobbled away, managing to put a good yard between them. Helga advanced on her. “That’s right. Turn around. You’re going back the way you came.”

  Too frightened to argue, April favored her sore ankle, racking her brain for some way to save herself. Too bad she’d lost the tree limb. Buy time, keep Helga talking…”Y…you don’t need to kill me.”

  “Oh, I didn’t want to. If you’d just stayed in Arizona, if you’d just left the secrets of the past buried. But you couldn’t do that, could you?”

  “I had to rememb—”

  “Why? Everyone was perfectly happy with things the way they were.”

  April jumped at the swish of the knife slicing the air behind her. She struggled to keep her tone level. “I had to remember in order to get well—in order to bring this nightmare to an end. For both of us.”

  “No. Your remembering ain’t ended a thing for me. It ain’t bad enough you gotta look like her
. How come you gotta act like her? I’ll only have peace when you’re silenced for good.”

  The woman had lost all rationale. As scared as she was, April realized there was no reasoning with Helga. Still, she couldn’t help but try. “Just because two people look alike doesn’t mean they’re alike on the inside.”

  “There’s more similarities ‘tween you and your ma that mere looks. I’ve seen you with Spencer. One man ain’t enough for you either, is he? You had to go after Karl, too—leading him on, trying to steal him from me same as your ma stole my Jesse.”

  So, Helga had been eavesdropping as April cried on Karl’s shoulder. Eavesdropping—and misinterpreting the situation. April glanced over her shoulder.

  Was that a light in the deep distance behind Helga? Or was desperation making her imagine flashlight beams where there were none? She couldn’t tell. Nor could she rely on someone coming to her rescue. She was going to have to save herself. “You’re wrong, Helga. I’m not leading Karl on—”

  Helga cut her off again. “Hah! Like your ma didn’t lead Jesse on? He spent hours working on that fancy sports car of hers, keeping it in tip top shape because she convinced him she was going to leave Farraday Island in it with him. Instead, the car slipped off a jack and crushed the life out of the besotted fool.”

  Helga raged on. “He should have known she wouldn’t go anywhere outside. Especially since he‘d had to have liaisons with her in the storage cave beneath the tool shed. Your ma not only led him on, she as good as killed him!”

  “Helga, no one cares about those things anymore.”

  “Karl will care.”

  Now April understood. “Maybe at first. But he’ll see you didn’t mean to kill Lily. Karl will forgive you. And he’ll get over it.”

  The housekeeper fell silent, and April prayed she was still rational enough to see the wisdom of this. She chanced a glimpse at the woman.

  In the spill of light from the flashlight, she saw Helga wag her head. “It’s too late. I’ve tried to kill you. They’ll lock me up for sure. There’s only one way to end this now.” She threatened with the knife, “No more talking. Get moving.”