Game On Askole (Coletti Warlords)

by Gail Koger

  The Battle Commander tightened his grip until I had trouble breathing.

  Samantha ducked Rho’s attempt to grab her and jabbed him in the hand with a pressure injector filled with a sedative. The big Coletti swayed unsteadily on his feet.

  Voss pulled his laser pistol and calmly stunned Sam. She collapsed to the floor as violent muscle spasms contorted her body.

  Rho fell backward on top of Aunt Tess. Her arms and legs wriggling frantically under his heavy weight. “Help!”

  Bastard! I summoned every ounce of psychic power I had and hurled it at Voss.

  The Battle Commander grunted and shook his head as if to clear it. “With the proper training, your psychic battle skills will be adequate.”

  Adequate? I’d give him adequate. I threw another mental punch.

  Voss blocked my blow easily. “The Jones clan’s battle with us is over. You have been defeated.”

  “As John Paul Jones once said, ‘I have not yet begun to fight.’”

  The Battle Commander’s voice was low and dangerous. “Once we reach Tanith, you will be mated to Lothel, and you become his problem.”

  “I think Tihar will have something to say about that,” I blustered.

  “The Overlord will never permit that.” Voss picked the pressure injector off the floor and thrust it against my neck. “Now you join your clan in the stasis chambers.”

  Everything went black.

  Chapter Three

  A kaleidoscope of images and sounds whirled through my mind. A terrible battle raged. The blackness of space was filled with ribbons of dazzling red energy beams. I flinched as brilliant billows of yellow and orange flames erupted around disintegrating spaceships. Our warriors were losing the fight to save Tanith.

  The enemy’s battle cruisers unleashed a hail of bombs on our world. Cannon-like blasts ripped apart the night. Sun-bright holocausts raged across the continents. Wails of the dying filled my head as the Coletti citizens were engulfed by the ravenous flames. When the barrage ended, charred metal superstructures of the once-vibrant cities rose eerily from an endless ocean of radiation-blasted sand. Few had survived the attack. Devastating loss, rage, and the need for vengeance churned in my gut.

  “Awake,” a female voice commanded.

  My eyes popped open, and I jerked upright. The room spun dizzily around me. A petite woman with long silver hair and pointy ears stood next to me. Who was she? Where was I? Why was I handcuffed to a metal table? Good God, what was that awful smell?

  “I am Detja, you are on Tanith, Voss thought the handcuffs were necessary, and you reek of skunk,” she answered as she removed the EEG bio-sensors pads from my temples.

  Memories came flooding back. Central Command’s betrayal and my capture. My gaze fixed on Detja. She was the Overlord’s deadly mate. Rumor had it her powers equaled his. “What’s with the history lesson?”

  “It is important you learn about your new home. Our past. Our culture. What your role will be. You also need to understand: the Overlord does whatever is necessary to protect the Coletti clans from harm.”

  She wouldn’t get any argument from me. The Overlord was a ruthless bastard. Anyone who got in his way was either conquered or exterminated. Even so, I couldn’t shake my grief for the billions of Coletti people who had been massacred. “What started the war?”

  Detja cocked her head to one side and studied me. “You truly want to know about the Great War?”

  “I do.” After the Tai-Kok and Rodan had slaughtered millions of our people, I understood the need for revenge. None of us would be safe until all the monsters were dead.

  “As you wish.” A faint smile touched her mouth. “Six hundred years ago, an Alliance general by the name of Samor Tigres unleashed a deadly rain of Gall bombs on Tanith. The general held the entire Coletti race responsible for the death of his mate and tried to annihilate every male, female, and child. Mercy was not in his vocabulary. A lethal dose of radiation poisoned the surface and vaporized the seas.”

  “How did anyone live through that?”

  “The Overlord was fifteen when the bombings began. Even then, he was a force to be reckoned with,” Detja said proudly. “Drawing on his considerable mental powers, he herded the battle-weary and injured survivors into underground caverns before the second wave of Gall bombs hit. Zarek found an old warbird in a hidden bunker and used it to raid other worlds for much-needed supplies. It took him three hundred years to rebuild the Coletti Empire into what it is today.”

  Too bad Central Command wasn’t as persistent in protecting their citizens as the Coletti. “You now live in caves?”

  Detja laughed. “Not exactly.” She touched a floating holoscreen. “This is our world now.”

  The images of the Coletti subterranean cities were impressive. They were each a perfect Eden complete with blast doors. Every city had its own artificial sun, parks, waterfalls, lakes, and critters of every type.

  “This is my home,” Detja said, and the view changed.

  The Overlord’s palace was like something out of a fairy tale. The intricately carved black stone rose gracefully from a turquoise lake. The structure came complete with arched gateways, flower-covered terraces, and colonnaded streets.

  “I’m impressed. Where do we bunk down?”

  “Until you no longer smell like a deceased skunk, you will be housed in the old warriors’ barracks.” Detja gestured, and Rho stepped into the room. “Please take her to the barracks.” She teleported away.

  An angry scowl twisted the big guy’s face. Wonder what had his panties in a twist. I sniffed my jumpsuit. Yep. That would do it. I smelled worse than the rotting corpse of a week-old road-killed skunk. Made me wonder if the Coletti Tucson headquarters smelled as bad. It would only be polite to ask and thank them for bringing me to the far side of the galaxy. “Good morning, or is it afternoon? Whatever, just wanted to say how happy I am to be on Tanith and enjoy all its radioactive glory.”

  Rho growled like a rabid dog.

  Someone had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. I patted his arm. “Really. What’s not to like? I absolutely love antiques, and the surface of Tanith has to be an archaeological treasure trove.” I rubbed my hands together. “I can’t wait to go antiquing.”

  “Are all Jones females insane?”

  Knowing Aunt Tess, she was using her critter control to drive the Coletti warriors nuts. Sam was a whiz at building homemade bombs and had probably blown something up. I gave Rho an understanding smile. “The Tai-Kok made all of us a bit psychotic, but in a good way. I mean, there’s nothing quite as satisfying as killing monsters. Don’t you agree?

  “Killing good.”

  Hmm. Brief and to the point. He did kinda remind me of a caveman. Not quite civilized. I asked blithely, “How many monsters have you killed?”

  “Many.”

  “I just bet you have.” I patted his arm again. “So, big boy, want to do a little antiquing with me?”

  “No!” The word was a roar.

  “Wow. What happened to your sense of history? Don’t you want to preserve your family’s keepsakes?”

  Rho leaned down until we were nose to nose. “My family and home were vaporized. There is nothing left to retrieve.”

  “Oh my God, you’re breaking my heart, but you’re not alone anymore. You got us girls.” I kissed his cheek.

  Rho reared back like I had cooties or something. Oh. Wait. I sort of did. “I am a warlord. I live to serve the Overlord. I do not want or need your pity.”

  “Pity? Who said anything about pity? How long has it been since you had sex?”

  Rho’s jaw dropped.

  “That long, huh?” I gave him a come-hither look. “I can fix that.”

  “You have been promised to Lothel.”

  “It would be our little secret.” I cupped my breasts. “Haven’t you heard? Jones girls are hot to trot.”

  He bared his fangs menacingly. “I will not dishonor my oath to the Overlord.”

  Warlor
ds were so much fun to mess with. “Okay.” I switched topics. “Since we’re family now, are our spiffy Tucson headquarters still uninhabitable?”

  “Our headquarters?” Rho’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

  “Well, yeah. You know, the whole conversion thing? Aren’t you supposed to welcome Aunt Tess, Sam, and me to the clan?”

  “Goddess help us,” Rho muttered under his breath.

  “Any hoo, being family and all, I can give you the name of a good Tucson exterminator. You’ll probably have to have the building sprayed several times to kill all those little buggers.”

  “The little buggers have been dealt with,” Rho replied nastily.

  I fought back a grin. “The skunk smell is a real doozy to get rid of, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” Rho unlocked my handcuffs and snarled, “Any resistance will be met with force.”

  “Wow. Do you practice that look in the mirror? Can you teach it to me? It’s really effective.”

  “I do not find you amusing.” Rho yanked me off the table and teleported. There was a fleeting second of blackness, and presto, we were standing inside an old military barracks. “This is your new home.” He pushed me away from him.

  “What? No good-bye kiss?”

  Rho vanished abruptly.

  That had been way too easy.

  “Sarah!” Aunt Tess ran over and wrapped her arms around me. “Thank God you’re okay. I’ve been so worried.”

  I hugged her back. “They didn’t hurt you or Sam?”

  “Sam wasn’t happy about being stunned. Voss, the prick, refused to let the medic treat her severe muscle cramping. He said she would think twice before attacking another warrior.”

  “Never gonna happen. As Grandma used to say, ‘That girl is a hellion.’”

  Aunt Tess laughed. “True. It didn’t stop Sam from building a flash-bang bomb and lobbing it at Voss.”

  “What did the Battle Commander do?”

  “He tossed her butt in their version of a jail.”

  I looked around the room. There was a table, two chairs, and two beds. “Where are the guys?”

  “They’re cooling their heels with Sam until Zarek can”—Aunt Tess did air quotes with her fingers— “speak with them.”

  “In other words, until he can use some mind control on them.”

  “Exactly. The only reason we’re stuck in the barracks is the Coletti warriors can’t handle the smell.”

  “Can’t blame them. Even breathing through my mouth isn’t helping. I’d kill for some mentholated gel to rub under my nose.” A buzzing noise emanated from the other side of a door. “What kind of critter is making that noise?”

  “The Tanith version of a fly. They breed in the underground river that runs nearby,” Aunt Tess answered. “Horrible little things. Not only are they lime green, but they look like a wasp mated with a particularly nasty mosquito.”

  “Yuck. You can control them, can’t you? They seem really intent on getting to us.”

  “The stench acts like an aphrodisiac. Rho thinks they want to lay their eggs on us.”

  I let out a squawk. “What?”

  Aunt Tess patted my shoulder. “Relax. Controlling them is child’s play.”

  “Thank you, Jesus! I thought the decontamination chamber was supposed to fix our problem.”

  “Voss was so pissed we attacked Rho, he forgot to decontaminate us before he threw us in the stasis chambers. The stasis field intensified the stench.”

  “There’s got to be something we can do. I don’t want to smell like a rotting skunk for the rest of my life,” I protested.

  Aunt Tess grimaced. “Neither do I, but ten sessions in the decontamination chamber haven’t made a whit of difference. Detja is checking into Earth remedies.”

  “Great. That could take a month or two.” I blew out a long breath.

  “Or longer,” Aunt Tess groused.

  “I guess we can look on the bright side. The Overlord’s plans just went up in smoke. Can you image a warlord trying to bed us wearing a gas mask?”

  “Does spoil the moment.” Aunt Tess chuckled.

  “And to add to our fun, we can always play sic ’em with Tanith’s horde of insects.”

  Aunt Tess snorted. “Those Coletti boys aren’t as tough as they act. One sniff, and they go from swaggering asses to puking little wusses. Add in a few insects and whoosh! They’re gone.”

  Chapter Four

  Imagine my surprise when two older warriors teleported into the room wearing nothing but smug smiles. Their honed physiques were covered in battle scars.

  My gaze wandered down very fine chests to their abdomens. Huh? Did Coletti warriors shave their public hair? I blinked and looked again. “Holy fuck! Where’s their peckers and balls?”

  “Coletti warriors don’t have balls,” Aunt Tess responded.

  “Are you shittin’ me?”

  “Hell no. Believe it or not, Detja had the birds and the bees talk with me. You know, what parts go where?”

  I started laughing. “C’mon, you’re not serious?”

  Aunt Tess smirked. “Dead serious. Seems Coletti parts are different from our men’s. See that funky-looking slit in their stomach?”

  My gaze fastened on it. “Yeah.”

  “That’s where they hide their male parts.”

  “That’s why kicking Rho in the groin didn’t work.”

  “Yep.” Aunt Tess gave me a wicked grin. “Their penis is snakelike and comes equipped with tentacles.”

  Right on cue, several tentacles poked out of their abdominal slits. The warriors’ smiles got bigger.

  I could feel my eyes bugging. “It’s like they’re trying to flirt with us.”

  “Detja said they’re better than sex toys.”

  If one of their snake thingies came anywhere near me, I was whacking it off. “Does Detja know about the warriors dropping by for a chance to get their own hot-to-trot Jones female?”

  Aunt Tess rolled her eyes. “Hell no. It helps breaks the monotony. They’re more fun than those Aussie studs in Vegas.”

  She had a point. There was nothing wrong with looking. “Do they dance?”

  “With a little help from my insect friends,” Aunt Tess said gleefully.

  “That I would pay to see.” I noticed the two warriors hadn’t moved a muscle. They simply gawked at us. “Cat got their tongue, or are they overwhelmed by our beauty?”

  “Couldn’t say. They’re not real chatty,” Aunt Tess answered.

  “Do they always stare like that? It’s kinda creepy.”

  “Yep. I feel like a prized heifer being auctioned off. Watch this.” Aunt Tess gave them the one finger salute.

  The warriors immediately started flexing their biceps and the muscled expanses of their chests.

  “Holy cow.”

  “Happens every time. Go figure.”

  A giggle escaped me. They were preening like those competitive body builders. Shaking my head in disbelief, I asked psychically, “Can I help you boys?”

  “I am called Azeus,” the older one stated.

  “I am Wapi. We wish to mate with a Jones female,” the other warrior announced.

  I nodded politely. “Oh. How nice.”

  Wapi leered. “They say Jones females are quite skilled at bed sport.”

  “We are.” I strolled over to them. “But, the question is: can you handle us?”

  The warriors’ faces paled dramatically.

  “Ahhh. No one told you human females have a unique smell.”

  Azeus gagged, then coughed like he was trying to bring up a hairball.

  “You smell worse than a Valgum dung beetle,” Wapi said, backing away from me.

  “I do, don’t I?” I followed him. “Is that a deal breaker?”

  Poof! Wapi vanished.

  I guess it was. I turned my attention to Azeus. “How about you? You up for a little bed sport with a Jones female?”

  The warrior vomited.

  “I’d say that’s a n
o,” Aunt Tess said.

  My stomach roiled. “Oh ick. He’s worse than Oydle.”

  “The Battle Commander never mentioned your stench,” Azeus gasped in revulsion.

  “That’s ’cause it’s a secret,” I whispered.

  Aunt Tess nodded. “Zarek knows none of you want a stinky mate. Isn’t it a bit suspicious that the Battle Commander didn’t claim one of us for himself?”

  “He said he was tracking his one true mate.”

  I threw up my hands in disgust. “And you believed him?”

  “Voss has never lied to us.”

  “Until now,” I scoffed.

  “Bet Voss said we were powerful psychics,” Aunt Tess inserted.

  “Yes.” Azeus’s back hit the wall. “Do not come any closer.”

  I gave him a disappointed pout. “I thought you were interested in some bed sport?”

  “With you? Never.”

  “There’s no need to be rude.”

  Swinging her hips like a streetwalker, Aunt Tess sauntered up to the nauseated warrior. “How do you feel about a twofer?”

  A look of utter horror on his face, Azeus teleported away.

  I burst out laughing. “I thought warlords never ran.”

  “Rho seems to be the only Coletti who can tolerate the smell.”

  “And Voss. Two very formidable warriors who will be difficult to defeat,” I added.

  “Even if we kicked their butts, where would be go? The surface is still radioactive, and stealing a warbird is out. We would never get past the million death satellites surrounding Tanith,” Aunt Tess stated.

  “Death satellites?”

  “Yep, Voss made a point of showing them to me. Any ship without the proper codes gets blown to smithereens.”

  “We’ll figure something out. We always do,” I said.

  Chapter Five

  A prickly feeling grew in my head. My internal radar had never failed me yet “Incoming hostiles.”

  “I sense them,” Aunt Tess said.

  Three thin warriors dressed like Genghis Khan wannabes appeared in the room. Their lacquered red body armor gleamed under the lights. Funky domed helmets with antlers covered their heads. Their amber eyes glowed with a fanatical light.