Game On Askole (Coletti Warlords)

by Gail Koger

  “Coletti War Hawk Three, turn left, heading one-four-zero. You are cleared to land on airstrip one,” a male voice advised.

  “Turn left heading one-four-zero. Landing on airstrip one,” I repeated. My vessel shuddered violently. “C’mon, baby, we can do it. Just hang in there a little bit longer.”

  “War Hawk Three, you are losing fuel. Following you in,” my wingman advised.

  “Copy that, War Hawk Two.” Zarek had given me the opportunity to fly again with one stipulation. Don’t crash his fighters. I might not keep that promise.

  Air turbulence slammed me against the seat as I entered the planet’s atmosphere. I used my braking thrusters to slow my airspeed. There was a horrific grinding screech as stressed metal began to buckle.

  The airfield can into view. Thirty seconds later, my engine cut out. “Fuck!” I brought the nose of the Talon up to increase my glide path. A thousand yards. Five hundred yards. Two hundred yards. One hundred.

  Emergency equipment moved into position.

  I lowered the landing gear and eased the ship down.

  Twack! Twack! Twack! The capture nets wrapped around my Talon, bringing it to an abrupt halt. My battle harness cut into my breasts. “That’s gonna leave a bruise.”

  My wingman roared by. “Good landing.”

  “Thanks.” I waited until the emergency crew did their thing and climbed out of my cockpit. Black gashes ran down the sides of my Talon. I ran a hand over the laser scoring. Those fucking pirates had come damn close to breaching the hull. Only some fancy flying had saved my ass.

  Cedras, my squadron commander, teleported in and inspected the damaged port engine. “The question to ask is why the Chi-Ro pirates concentrated all their fire power on your ship alone.”

  “My guess? Lilkee and her Legionnaires want me dead. They probably paid the Chi-Ro to do the job.”

  “There have been rumors of a bounty on your head.”

  “How much am I worth?”

  Cedras’s mouth tightened into a grim line. “Two million credits.”

  “That much, huh?”

  “Some think Malik posted the bounty, but he was killed recently.”

  “Really? By who?”

  “That information is classified,” Cedras replied.

  “Right. Wouldn’t want people to know the biggest terrorist in the galaxy is dead.”

  “You are bordering on insubordination.”

  “Sorry, sir.” For a moment, I wondered if Snoor was responsible for the bounty. Nah, it had to be Lilkee.

  Cedras’s bracelet beeped, and he glanced at the screen. “The Overlord was informed of the situation. He wants you grounded until a full investigation has been done.”

  “Fuck that.”

  Cedras narrowed his eyes menacingly. “I speak English.”

  I gave myself a mental head thump. A lot of the high-ranking Coletti warriors did. “Flying is my life, Squadron Commander.”

  “Do you want me to tell the Overlord you refuse to obey his orders?”

  Oh, hell no. I had a big enough bull’s-eye on my back. “No, sir. I apologize for my outburst.”

  “Wise decision. We have two hours before the freighters are loaded. I suggest you take the time to adjust your attitude.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Cedras teleported away.

  “Boy, do I need a drink.” I headed for the spaceport tavern and linked with Aunt Tess. “I’ve been grounded.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  I gave her the 411.

  “I think Zarek made the right decision. That’s a lot of money. Every bounty hunter and criminal will be trying to kill you.”

  “I have to admit, it got pretty hairy today.”

  “Tihar make another appearance?”

  I kicked an empty bottle. “No.”

  “You gotta let him go, hon.” Aunt Tess hugged me psychically. “He’s not worth the tears.”

  “I know, but he owes me an apology, and dammit, he needs to fix my DNA.”

  “He does and he will. Willingly or not.”

  I caught a fleeting mental glimpse of Rho stalking toward my aunt and grinned. “What did you do this time?”

  “I trained the ducks to follow him around. Gotta go.” Aunt Tess broke the link.

  Blast doors slid open at my approach. The tavern was called The Tipsy Gorum, and surprise, surprise, a Gorum ran it. It reminded me of an old English pub with an alien twist. Wooden beams ran across the white ceiling. I adored the huge fireplace and the long red-tiled bar. Behind the bar was a mythical creature right out of the Old West called a jackalope. A jackrabbit with antelope antlers. There was no such critter. An old prospector with too much time on his hands had stuffed a dead jackrabbit and glued horns on it. It was a big hit with tourists and now the Gorum.

  Adan, the owner, loved anything to do with Earth. I talked Uncle Saul into shipping him a jukebox, Vegas slot machines, and arcade games like Donkey Kong and Pac-Man. They were a big hit. Not such a hit was the Gorum version of art. It was a big glass container filled with what looked like fleas on crack.

  Spacers mingled with a motley collection of life forms. Loud country-western music vied with the jabber of a dozen languages. Claws, paws, and hands were wrapped around a variety of drink containers. Due to the drunken brawls that occurred daily, the metal tables and chairs were bolted to the stone floor.

  All of Adan’s waitresses were Hus Ping. They resembled five-hundred-pound teddy bears with sharp teeth and humongous boobs. Males, no matter what the species, found them fascinating. Adan’s bouncer was a half-blind Askole named Knock-Knock. Only a fool challenged Knock-Knock. He was one mean sonovabitch.

  I climbed on a barstool. A holographic order screen appeared. Hmm. Did I want a beer or a shot of whiskey?

  Adan slithered over to me. His long white tubular body reminded me of a mutated snake. Around his head were wormy growths that never ceased twisting with a peculiar life of their own. Instead of eyes, Adan had two eyestalks with bright yellow orbs. “The rocky road ice cream came in, along with more salsa and chips.”

  My stomach grumbled. “I’ll take a bowl of each and a beer.”

  The wormy growths stretched into tentacles as Adan quickly fixed my order. He plunked down a bowl of ice cream covered with salsa and chips in front of me. A few seconds later, another tentacle plunked a bottle of beer down.

  “Uh. I usually eat them separately.”

  “Taste better this way,” Adan responded, his yellow orbs fixed expectantly on my face.

  I scooped up some salsa-covered ice cream with a chip and took a bite. Hmm. Not too bad. “Very yummy, Adan.”

  A fat, hairy male with horns, pointy ears, and scraggly white hair took the stool next me. “I will eat what the female is eating.”

  I grimaced. The Yagga stank to high heaven. They usually had two things on their minds. Getting soused and sex.

  “I have two penises.”

  “And I have a laser pistol.” I pressed it against the Yagga’s crotch. “Leave.”

  “The lady warrior has spoken.” Adan wrapped a tentacle around the Yagga’s neck and threw him toward the blast doors. The doors opened, revealing an enormous Askole warrior.

  Thunk! The Yagga slammed into the warrior.

  Without taking his gaze off me, the Askole hurled the Yagga over his shoulder and stalked toward me.

  An intense prickly sensation swept through my head as my internal radar went on red alert. “I’d say that Askole has murder on his mind.”

  “He is a bounty hunter,” Adan agreed.

  “Guess he heard about the two million bounty on my head.”

  The warrior drew his weapon.

  Starting a shooting match was out of the question, so I settled for mentally grabbing his balls and squeezing as hard as I could.

  The Askole dropped like a rock and curled into the fetal position.

  Huh? The Askole warrior was a wuss and whimpering like a little girl. Tihar would never act like a
big baby.

  Knock-Knock stunned the bounty hunter and relieved him of his weapons.

  A big, hairy Bjarke wearing battle armor walked into the tavern.

  Crap. He had his long purple hair in war braids. “Think he’s a hunter too?”

  “Yes.”

  The Bjarke pulled his sword, bellowed an ear-shattering battle cry, and rushed me.

  The Goddess must have a sense of humor. Three seconds into his charge, a Hus Ping male stepped directly in his path. Bam! They collided.

  The Bjarke flew back and landed on a table, spilling the drinks of a party of Prithvi. Their antennas quivered wildly, and the funky bristles on their heads stood straight out. The multi-armed bug thingies reared up on their sticklike legs, and their hair literally exploded, spewing quills at the Bjarke.

  Thop. Thop. Thop. Thop. Thop. Thop. Thop. The Bjarke looked as if he had a run-in with a porcupine. Ugly blisters formed over the warrior’s face, his eyes rolled back in his head, and down he went.

  Damn. That had to hurt.

  The Hus Ping made a hasty exit.

  At the same time, the horny Yagga and ten of his friends entered the tavern.

  “Oh, hell. I’ll sneak out the back door.”

  “More hunters are preparing to breach the rear door,” Adan announced gleefully.

  Why was he so happy about it?

  Boom! The building shuddered. A swarm of three-foot-long cockroaches with way too many legs scurried into the room followed by four males covered in head-to-toe red battle armor.

  Ah. How sweet. The Legionnaires brought their little friends with them. I leaned toward Adan. “They’re actually good dancers, but suck at fighting.”

  Adan’s eyestalks swiveled to watch the warriors rhythmically pound their feet against the floor.

  “Waewae tama-nur-ra. Waewae tama-nur-ra. Waewae tama-nur-ra.”

  The roaches did a little hip-hop routine.

  Every life form in the bar, including the Prithvi, stopped drinking, watched for a moment, and then fled.

  The Yaggas were right behind them.

  To my astonishment, Knock-Knock bolted out the doors too. For an Askole to run meant we were seriously screwed. I climbed up on the bar. “Are the cockroaches that scary?”

  “The Romi are very difficult to kill. They like to eat their prey alive.”

  “As do the Tai-Kok. I’ve killed a lot of them, and exterminating a few bugs shouldn’t be a problem.”

  The warriors repeated their dance and bellowed, “Ka nate whakatu. Tutu ngarahu. Ka nate whakatu. Tutu ngarahu. Waewae tama-nur-ra.”

  The Romi chittered and bounced from side to side.

  It felt like I was in one of those old television shows where they pranked you. “You have any bug spray?”

  “No.” Adan’s body rippled and began to change. “Few life forms interest me. Fortunately for you, you are one of them, and you did save my daughter’s life. Now I save yours.”

  Interesting life form? His daughter? “Who is your daughter?” I blasted away at the Romi.

  “Detja.” Adan’s skin turned black.

  Say what? “Detja is a Farin.”

  “I adopted her after her parents were killed by the Tai-Kok.”

  Bet that was one interesting story. I gaped in horror as Adan transformed into a huge heaving silky black mass. Just when I thought I had seen it all, fate threw me a curve ball. Holy Mother of God. His aura was one of a psychopathic killer. My first instinct was to run, but dammit, there was nowhere to go. If it was my day to die, I was taking as many with me as I could. I eyed Adan’s ghastly form. “Who? What are you?”

  An enormous mouth edged with hundreds of serrated teeth appeared in the mass. A sticky tongue shot out, smacking me in the chest and jerking me forward. “I am a Katanic shapeshifter. I only assume my true form when I feel the need to kill someone or I am hungry.” His ran his tongue across my face.

  Ewww. Please don’t eat me wouldn’t stop him and seemed a bit cowardly. I glared at him and wiped the slime off my face. Not only was my rocky road ice cream melting, it was that time of the month, and I was feeling a tad homicidal. How would Adan deal with a woman with a bad case of PMS? “Are you going to talk me to death, or are you going to do something about those assholes?”

  Adan’s two burning yellow eyes stared at me. “You remind me of Detja.” A tentacle wrapped around me and tossed me on top of a high cabinet. “Do not move from that spot. I haven’t fed in a while.”

  Oh, dear God. “Yes, sir.” A hysterical giggle escaped me. Yippee! I wasn’t on his dinner menu. Or was I?

  Dozens of long ropy tentacles shot from Adan’s body. They quickly grabbed the Romi and stuffed them one after another into Adan’s widening mouth. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

  Ugh. The sound of the Romi being eaten was truly horrible.

  The Legionnaires must have been seriously freaked out too and sent out a mayday. Sixty seconds later, a transporter’s glittering blue light engulfed them.

  “Dammit! Adan, they’re getting away.”

  “No, they are not.” He rolled into the transporter’s energy field. The Legionnaires and Adan vanished.

  I linked with Detja. “Pardon me, ma’am, but do you know a Katanic shape-shifter by the name of Adan? He says he’s your father.” I shot the remaining Romi before it could scurry out the front door.

  Detja’s shocked horror rolled over my mind. “Where are you?”

  “In The Tipsy Gorum. A bunch of bounty hunters tried to kill me, and things got a little messy.” I gave a girly squeak when Zarek invaded my mind.

  “Adan ate only the Romi?”

  I looked around. The room was empty except for the Bjarke and Askole sprawled on the floor. Yep. They were still breathing. “As far as I know, but who knows how many Legionnaires he’ll eat.”

  I felt Zarek’s alarm. “The fools transported Adan onto their ship?”

  “Not exactly. He kinda hitched a ride.”

  “If Father is hungry, he can and will eat the entire crew,” Detja advised.

  “He did say he hadn’t eaten in a while.”

  Cedras butted in. “My lord, we located the Legionnaire ship, but before we could board it, there was an explosion.”

  Damn. Adan was dead? Didn’t think the dimwits had it in them.

  A brilliant orange glow popped into existence and spun rapidly. I shielded my eyes. “What the hell?”

  The spinning light accelerated until a vortex formed. Bolts of green lightning crackled wildly around the growing opening. A very fat Adan rolled out.

  “He’s back.” I gasped as a leg kicked against Adan’s hide from the inside. Shit! There were other body parts moving inside him.

  In a blink of an eye, Adan transformed back into a Gorum.

  Eating had increased his power. A bunch. “You’re one lucky shape-shifter to get off the ship before it blew.”

  “I destroyed the vessel. The Legionnaires’ attacks on my daughter cannot continue.”

  “Works for me. Now if we can only find the skinny bitch and end her.”

  Zarek sighed.

  Whoops. “Sorry, sir.”

  “I have missed you, Father,” Detja interjected; her voice was thick with tears.

  “And I you, daughter.”

  “Why did you leave?”

  “The Elders sent more executioners after me. I would not risk you again.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the Askole twitch. “You up for dessert, Adan?”

  Adan stared at the bounty hunter for a long moment. “He would be quite tasty dipped in chocolate.”

  “Uh. Well.” How did I respond to that? Did I tell him to throw in some bananas, a sprinkle of nuts, and, to make the Askole really yummy, add a little whipped cream? God, no.

  With a roar of fury, the Askole bounty hunter jumped to his feet. “You think you have won? I have never been defeated. Prepare to die.”

  I gawked at him. “You seriously think you can fight Adan and win?”r />
  “Yes. I am Askole. The Gorum cannot save you, female.”

  “He’s not actually a Gorum. If I were you, I’d run.”

  “Askole warriors never run.” The hunter picked up the Bjarke’s sword and waved it at us.

  Like a sword could do any damage? “Not even from a Katanic shape-shifter?”

  “They are a myth used to frighten children,” was the moron’s response.

  “Okey-doke. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

  Adan’s skin rippled and presto! He was back in his true form.

  The Askole warrior’s eyes bugged.

  Two ropy tentacles shot out.

  The Askole ducked them and zoomed for the door.

  Adan laughed like a hyena.

  The sound made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

  The minute the bounty hunter stepped into the doorway, his body disintegrated into a million fireflies as he was hit by multiple laser bolts.

  Crap. Just what I needed—more hunters.

  The Overlord said, “I will send Cedras to teleport you to safety.”

  “No need. I will bring her to you,” Adan proclaimed.

  Horror knotted my stomach. “No! That’s not necessary. I’ll wait for Cedras.”

  “There are too many hunters. If you stay, you die.”

  A black canister rolled through the doors. Pop! Thick gray smoke spewed from it.

  “We leave. Now.” Tentacles jerked me against Adan’s slimy hide. A booted foot repeatedly thumped against my stomach. Terrific, his food was still alive and kicking.

  My lungs began to burn, and breathing became difficult. The canister was a gas bomb. “Go. Go. Go.”

  An incandescent orange light formed around us. The light spun faster and faster and faster until it became a vortex. Slurppp! We were sucked inside. It was like going from zero to Mach 1 in ten seconds flat. The horrific, twisting funnel of energy rocketed us across a weird black void.

  Strange shapes emerged out of the blackness. I rubbed my eyes. Was I hallucinating? The shapes turned into forms; the forms became dark, wraithlike creatures. Shit! The creatures were chasing after us. I screamed when tentacles shot from them, missing us by inches. “As I speed through the valley of the shadow of death, I know evil is real! Death awaits us. For God’s sake, Adan, put the pedal to metal!”