The Cats of Butterwick Sands

by Gabriella Thomas

  Percy took a rather dim view about Rosie and told her one day, “It is obscene that you are so fat, a cat should be lithe and lean.”

  Rosie snapped back, “I like being fat, I don’t have to catch my dinner and my humans spoil me, what more does a cat need, Mr Know All!” and with that Rosie had turned her back on him and walked off head held high.

  For once in his life Percy had been left speechless and so tonight Rosie joined her mistress on the dance floor with her head peeking from under Mildred’s rolls of fat on her ample arms. Mildred and her husband were trying to dance rock and roll and at one point, Rosie went flying across the pub and landed in a sherry trifle, something that Rosie was very pleased about indeed. The party finally ended at 3am, when Ella and Ivor finally saw everyone leave, the very last one being Councillor Grubb, who was wearing several of old Mags’ necklaces. Councillor Grubb literally fell out of the door and was carried aloft by Gerald and Otis to sleep it off on the pier.

  “What a night!” said Ivor.

  “Yes,” said Ella, “it was fantastic, this is a new start for Butterwick, now let’s not worry about the mess,” looking around at the devastation, ‘the mums’ upstairs and other people will be coming in to help clean up in the morning.”

  This is what was wonderful about Butterwick, a real sense of community and caring about each other and now their future as a thriving seaside town would be assured.

  “Come on time for bed,” said Ella, “you know that Bilko, Percy and Blossom and Burt all disappeared when our meeting was on.”

  “Maybe they were having one of their own!” laughed Ivor.

  Out in the pub garden, Bilko, Blossom, Burt and Percy were also pleased with the night’s events and had arrived home when the party in the pub was in full swing. Percy thought it would be a long time before he would forget the sight of old Bloom and Mr Peabody doing a can-can. Strange creatures’ these humans, he thought and not for the first time; apparently drinking alcohol and falling over meant you had enjoyed yourself. Percy, as a cat of the world, had once tried vodka but it didn’t agree with him. Blossom who was still on a high from having such an important role in the meeting said, “Did you notice, Burt, that those stuck up horses from Barlington stables, were looking at the map upside down! I had to explain it to them!”

  “Yes dear,” said Burt.

  Bilko had been listening and giving himself a good scratch and, as usual, he remained in awe of Percy and wanted to say something clever and important but he just couldn’t think of a single thing, but instead, he went to sniff out a juicy beef bone he had buried earlier.

  “Well good night all,” said Percy. He allowed himself a small grin as he went off to find a comfortable place to sleep. Yes, it had been a good night overall, he thought. The homeless cats of Britain would always have a place to stay and call home.

  16

  The Grand Opening

  The following months were hard for all on the park and fairground. The constant banging, whirring and sawing, with all the dust and the smells and the workmen tramping through both cats’ and humans’ homes. Christmas had then bought lots of snow and so work had to stop. Both animals and humans simply tried to keep warm in the bitter cold. Then February and March bought endless rain, which meant that once again the work had to stop. Milo, Lala, their grown up kittens and their families had to move out of the bumper car ride and make a home at the back of Malachi’s barn, much to his disgust. “I cannot believe that I have to live with CATS, a horse of my breeding, why it is absolutely preposterous, I have never heard of such a thing, hurrumph…”

  Of course the chickens would shut him up, but they were also living in the barn, so it was very overcrowded and tempers became short. On more than one occasion Caesar the rooster would receive a hard nip on the leg and threats that he would become dinner from one of the cats. The other cats on the fairground and park also had to find temporary homes where they could. Jonty and Reggie went to stay with Bingo and his family in the amusement arcade. Finlay went to sleep on a shelf at old Bloom’s and all the other stray cats found temporary homes in the village. Some however never left, such as a rather handsome black cat who bedded down in Miss Potter’s, the shell lady’s greenhouse and ended up being great friends with Salt and now enjoyed a permanent home. There were some cats however, who did not want to live with humans such as a weather-beaten old Irish cat called Ignatius. He had been a stray for many years, “And that’s how I will stay,” he would say. “I is free to come and go an’ don’t want no human stroking me head or tellin’ me when to eat, no sir!” and some other cats felt the same.

  The humans were fed up too,

  Sonia, Ben and old Mags had to put up with the endless noise and dust throughout the summer and winter. Mr Peabody had now moved in to one of the grand old Victorian houses near the Old Sea Dog, which had been empty but was now renovated. He would come up most days, sometimes with his cat Stan to see how work was progressing. Stan would trot beside Mr Peabody until he got to the caravans and would sniff the air and say, “Ah chicken,” or “Yes ham” and then go to old Mags’ caravan and wait expectantly by the simmering pot outside. Sure enough after a while, old Mags would come out with a bowl and spoon out some of whatever was in the pot. Fergus and Stan had struck up an unlikely friendship; they would sit in companionship eating and then stretch out in front of the open fire.

  “How much longer will these works go on? It’s driving us all mad, old chap,” said Fergus, he still wore his kerchief round his neck and on more than one occasion during the works he wished that old Mags would get the caravan back on its wheels tether old Malachi to it and off they would go! But he, like old Mags, had made Butterwick his home, they had put down roots something he thought both of them would never do; especially as they were true gypsies.

  Kiya would emerge from a pile of dry leaves and say, “I’m not really bothered, not really, but when will it be finished?”

  Stan stared at this strange creature covered in dry leaves and with crooked whiskers and said, “Well madam/sir, Peabody reckons grand opening will be next May all things being equal of course,” he miawoed in his London drawl. “Difficult thing contractors, finance and deadlines you know,” all Stan needed was a trilby hat and he could be Peabody HIMSELF!

  As the diggers started up again, old Mags who loved an afternoon nap, started shouting, “Those dam machines! A body can get no peace!” Whilst at the other caravan, Sonia and Ben struggled to get the children to sleep even after the men stopped work. Yes, it was difficult for everyone, you even had to feel sorry for Bowler as he was kept tied up on a long lead for most of the time after chasing one of the workmen across the caravan park, growling and yapping and trying to bite him. Gunther the seagull and his friends were the only ones happy to have the workmen around because there were bacon rolls, crisps and all manner of tasty foods to steal. After visiting the site Peabody would call Stan and they would go back down the cliff together. “Ah Stan, me old mucker, won’t be long now, won’t be long.”

  At last on a lovely spring day in May over a year after the big meeting, new posters were seen all over Butterwick, Fairmile and Barrow-on-Sea and beyond.

  There was such an air of excitement all over Butterwick, with people feeling that the good times were coming back for all. The shopkeepers were sprucing up their shops, giving a lick of paint here and there and making colourful window displays, putting bunting and balloons up saying ‘HAPPY DAYS’. The Old Sea Dog was spruced up and offering special menus and tastings; it had also become the official community centre for everyone and anyone to drop in and Ella and Ivor revelled in all the hustle and bustle. The little cinema round the corner from the pub was showing free screenings of fairground themed movies such as, Carousel.

  Alex and Karolina at their mini-mart, had a little ‘miniature fair’ in their window given to them by old Bloom and business had already started to pick up as could be seen by
the big grin Alex had most of the time. Big Al had even decided to open his ice cream parlour early and he created a special swirly, whirly, multi coloured ice cream and called it, ‘The Helter Skelter’.

  Mary McAllister and her brood from the fish and chip shop were also excited. “Business will pick up, children, and why, we could even go to see my sister and have a little holiday!” she told them and for the first time in many months she felt happy. She did not even think about her errant husband at all as she shovelled her delicious chips into paper with her scrubbed red face all aglow. The children of course were excited for another reason: they couldn’t wait for the fair to re-open. On the seafront, Miss Potter had re-arranged shells in her garden to spell out, ‘Happy Days’ and had added a seashell big wheel and carousel. “So exciting,” she would tell all who passed her gate.

  Meanwhile, trade at Raymond’s Coiffures was brisk, with everyone wanting to look their best for the grand opening. Miss Brewster emerged one day from the hairdressers, with a giant beehive ‘up-do,’ which was so old fashioned it had now become trendy or ‘cool’, depending on your viewpoint. This led to the strange sight of the teenagers of Butterwick and Fairmile making a beeline to Raymond’s for their beehive hair-do’s. Raymond himself was quite overwhelmed, he sported his own hair in a very high quiff and these days it was quivering with excitement, “Oh my dears, it’s positively obscene how busy I am,” as he flapped his arms and ran back into the shop. He had taken on some help in the form of the absurdly named, ‘Clotilde’, a rather solid looking girl with big red hands and whose dad, Fred, owned the butchers shop in Butterwick. He had thought the name was ‘exotic’ for his only child.

  “Looks like an over-stuffed sausage,” said old Mags, who tended to say what she thought.

  The pier and amusement arcade were newly painted and Mr Brewster ordered lots of new fairy lights and there were also lots of new stalls all along the pier selling all manner of trinkets. Mr Brewster had also brought back to life some old fashioned Victorian games such as hoopla and skittles along his Pier and just one old fashioned carousel with beautifully painted wooden horses which had been lovingly restored. “Don’t make ’em like that anymore,” he said, “beautiful workmanship,” and everyone agreed. So the old music hall tunes and newer tunes played out on the Pier and arcade all day and into the evening. Mr Brewster was even thinking of reviving the ‘end of the pier show’ by re-building the small concert hall that used to stand there. “Get some ‘big names’ in soon, pull in the punters,” he added, ever the business man.

  Over in Fairmile, everyone was equally happy to see Butterwick’s good times return. Miss Quinn went into a knitting frenzy and together with the ladies of the knitting circle, they knitted a whole fairground, complete with rides and lots of knitted people for the shop window display. Miss Quinn also knitted a rather nice chunky red jumper with ‘All Aboard’ emblazoned across the front, which she hoped to give to old George at Barrow station when she went to the grand opening. “This will keep him warm in the winter,” she smiled to herself as her needles clacked away. And in Barrow-on-Sea old George could be heard singing and laughing to himself as he made his station pristine, his uniform neatly pressed and his coat buttons gleaming even more than usual; at last his pride and joy, his little station would to be busy again! Even Ernie did his bit, by clearing the station of mice.

  The Ravioli’s were also excited… apart from Dalingo the dog of course. Mr Ravioli had the outside of the restaurant painted but left the inside exactly as it had been for the last thirty years. “Ze people’s they likea the ‘retro’ style, it is very ‘trendy’.”

  Mrs Ravioli sniffed, “Itta just looks dirty to me, it needa good lick of paint.”

  Luigi who had managed to escape the restaurant by going to train as a chef in London (and that was the only reason Papa had agreed he could leave home). Papa had said, “He gonna be like thata Hestoni Blumtal and bringa in more business!” Well Luigi had also come back for a short holiday, to be in Butterwick for the grand opening and, in truth, he did miss his crazy papa and the family, but London was so much fun! One day he would have a restaurant of his own he mused, as he laid the tables and he would run it HIS way.

  “Luigi, where are you? come and ’elp your mama, whatta you doing?”

  “Coming Mama,” shouted Luigi.

  What about all the animals and birds…?

  Oatmeal, the health food shop cat knew that her mistress was planning an extra special outfit for her. She had seen sparkly material and sequins beside the small sewing machine and her mistress kept saying things like, “Oatmeal, you will be the belle of the ball in your new waistcoat for opening day.” Poor Oatmeal knew the waistcoat would be too big for her skinny frame and that she would have to endure the sniggering of the other cats but she would grin and bear it as her mistress meant well. Little did she know however, that most evenings Oatmeal after dutifully eating her small portion of vegan cat food would go and see Hamish in the chip shop; she was the only cat who seemed to understand the dour Scot’s miaows. Hamish would save some battered cod and chips for Oatmeal and in turn she would sit for hours listening to Hamish singing and reciting Scottish poetry. What would Arabella have said if she knew that her little Oatmeal, whom she had reared on ‘pure food’ since she was a kitten was, even at that moment, licking her whiskers after her greasy treat! Well, blissfully unaware, Arabella was at her sewing machine after the shop had closed making her next creation for her beloved Oatmeal. It would be blue glitter with yellow and red sequins at the neck and have a bright yellow sun on the back. Yes, all the colours of the Butterwick sands logo would be proudly displayed on Oatmeal’s waistcoat thought Arabella, as she hummed to herself whilst at her work.

  Blossom and Burt, the donkeys at the pub, would also have new coats and new straw hats with the Butterwick logo on. They would also have an important role on opening day giving donkey rides up at the new park. Blossom now loved being a donkey and Burt was happy because he now had a peaceful life! Percy was also a lot happier since that dreadful Stan, Mr Peabody’s cat, had left to live with his master in one of the big houses at the far end of the seafront. Percy revelled in being once again, the only cat in the pub and the unofficial advisor to everyone; that tiresome Stan seemed to have an opinion on everything but Percy always knew that it was HE who knew everything that was important to know. Soon Butterwick sands would be thriving again, just like he had predicted it would. Bilko as usual was over excited by everything and couldn’t stop yapping and barking and generally being a nuisance.

  “Really, Bilko, would you calm down, what is wrong with you these days!” said Ella, as Bilko almost tripped her up as he ran in and out from behind the bar and kitchen, just as she was trying to get the lunches ready. Bilko just couldn’t help it, everywhere animals and humans were preparing for the grand opening and he knew that he had played a part in the whole thing coming together. Now his beloved Ella and Ivor would make more money and the pub would flourish and everyone would be happy and… Bilko started to howl with joy. “That’s it,” shouted Ella, “I can’t stand it anymore. Out into the yard, Bilko, until lunchtime is over come on!” and with that she shooed Bilko into the back garden and closed the door; it was unlikely anyone would eat in the garden today as it had started raining. Bilko didn’t mind being kicked out he was in a world of his own and NOTHING could cloud his happy mood. Blossom and Burt had gone into their barn to seek shelter from the rain. Percy was under the bench and about to make a dart for the cat flap.

  “Hello Perce,” said Bilko, “isn’t it exciting, don’t know what to do with myself, what are you up to? Won’t be long to opening now will it, I…”

  “Quiet!” said Percy, lifting up a paw. “You really are a most stupid animal, I never get excited about anything, things happen and then they don’t, that’s how it is, and now by the law of averages it should take me thirty seconds to reach the cat flap, which means my coat will only
get a very light sprinkling of rainwater, and, by the way, don’t call me Perse, good day,” and with that he made a fast dash and was through the cat flap in a flash.

  Bilko said, “Um ah sorry Mr Percy,” and then proceeded to run round and round after his tail in the pouring rain much to the amusement of the lunchtime customers who these days were packing in to the Old Sea Dog.

  A small group of pussy cats had gathered at the old station buffet. Ernie was resplendent, his fur gleamed and his whiskers shone. Ollie the bakery cat was eating a meat and potato pie which he had offered to share but didn’t really mean it. Horatio the fisherman’s cat was sitting on the old tea urn which gleamed and shone after old George had given it a special clean and there was Mario, Mr Ravioli’s cat and beside him Salt. The cats were all miaowing about how the town was so busy these days.

  “I’m for the quiet life really,” said Hamish,

  “Yeah butta we musta have business to keep our ’umans feeding us,” said Mario.

  “I agree,” said Ernie, “we must go forward, but I do worry how our friends in the caravan park are coping with all the changes.”

  “Yes,” said Salt, “it must have been awful up there.” The cats then discussed getting messages to the choir cats for a special performance on opening day.

  How had they all coped? Throughout the long winter tempers had become very frayed indeed in Malachi’s horse barn, which he had to share with both chickens and cats! On more than one occasion a hen was kicked across the barn or a cat was pecked on its bottom and Malachi had a particularly nasty exchange with Milo and Lala. He had been especially rude to Lala, who had gone running to Milo. “Oh my, oh dear, that dreadful horse, he said I was a useless ball of fluff with no right to take up room in the shed! I cannot, shall not go back in that dreadful barn!” Milo was very angry and ran into the barn leaping on Malachi’s back and biting his mane! Rhona the main hen took advantage of the situation to peck Malachi’s hooves and peck Caesar the rooster for no reason at all.