Expecting Darkness

by Mandy M. Roth

She patted his chest. “Sure. I’ll get two mugs of blood. No fighting while I’m gone, okay?”

  “Aye.” He watched her walk off and then faced Cormag.

  Chapter Seven

  Searc eyed his maker carefully, waiting until Jessie was out of earshot before speaking. Searc squared his shoulders. “What is happening with you? One second yer threatening me over her and the next you seem pleased that I cannae stop touching her. Why is my head still attached to my body? You’ve killed others for less when it comes to Jessie. My scent is all over her. All roads lead to me having bedded her. Why am I still alive?”

  Cormag sighed. “I’m old enough and wise enough to know nae to thumb my nose at Fate. But I cannae lie. Letting go is hard, Searc. Verra hard. And my gut is telling me something is afoul here. It’s also telling me nae to let her out of my sight unless it’s with you. That yer no threat to her. But that perhaps my own men are.”

  Searc raised a brow, wondering what Cormag meant by that statement. Did he really believe he’d been betrayed by his own men? And was he lumping Islay into that mix?

  A look of unease passed over his maker’s face and Searc knew there was far more to the summons he’d gotten than Cormag was currently letting on. A deep-set fear that something was wrong with Jessie settled over him. “How is my scent on her?”

  Cormag ran a hand over his mouth. “I do nae know. But I think when you rang me worried for her safety, something was happening then. Something that leaves us all here.” His gaze went in the direction Islay had stormed off in. “But my second had sworn to me she was fine. Islay told me all was well and I listened to him. Looking back, my demon and I are nae so sure he was truthful on the matter.”

  “He lied?” Searc’s demon pulsed within, ready and willing to do whatever was necessary to protect the woman.

  Cormag, lowered his voice. “My demon sits on edge. It has from the moment my feet touched the ground here earlier today. Islay’s thoughts have been blocked from me until he connected mentally to tell me of the failed attack in Scotland. When he let me into his head then, I saw glimpses of something.”

  “Of what?”

  Cormag’s jaw set. “Of my daughter being strapped to a hospital bed, IVs and tubes running to her, and men in white lab coats leaning over her. She was terrified and calling out for you, Searc.”

  “What?” he asked, his voice barely there.

  “I do nae get any of this when I try to read Jessie. She’s never been easy for me to read in any way, but when I tried to look into her mind, all I saw was blackness. Something is verra wrong and I think Islay is part of it.” He took a deep breath. “There is a level of fear that comes from her now when he’s close to her. I sensed it on her at my main home. Until I know more, I do nae want her near my men, or me, if it means she’s in harm’s way.”

  Searc knew the willpower that it took to keep Cormag from scanning one’s thoughts. While he could do so with ease now, he didn’t think Islay could. And there was no reason for Islay to guard his thoughts from his maker. Unless he had a hand in what had happened to Jessie. “You really think Islay is a threat to yer daughter?”

  “I do nae know, but I will nae risk her to test the theory,” said Cormag. “As much as I want her with me at the main house, something deep down is telling me to force her to go with you. That you’ll give yer life to protect her.”

  “Aye. I would,” he said quickly. Searc swallowed hard, a bead of sweat starting on his temple. “You once told me to never ignore my dreams. That often warnings are carried upon them. I sensed something wrong with her nearly four months back. I know I did. Did she ever tell you what happened on that weekend?”

  “No,” said Cormag. “But she’s been hiding something from me since then. I do nae know what. She willnae tell me. She’ll fear me locking her away for her own protection. It’s all I want to do at this verra minute. And as I said, I tried to read her when we were at the main house. When I pushed for memories of that weekend, all I found was blackness—something is blocking her memories of then. I’m unsure if she even could tell me of what happened—if she even knows herself.”

  That wasn’t good in the least. If a master vampire the level of Cormag couldn’t find memories, that meant something big had happened. Searc remembered coming to feeling drugged and out of sorts nearly four months ago, when he’d worried for Jessie. He gasped. “Was she drugged?”

  “Perhaps,” said Cormag, glancing at something to the right and falling silent at once.

  “Oh good, the two of you aren’t in a knock-down, drag-out fight,” said Jessie, appearing with two large, steaming mugs of blood. She handed one to her father and one to Searc, their fingers skimming as she did.

  Their gazes collided and Searc crowded her space, nodding his thanks before stepping back and holding a chair out for her. She sat and he made a point to sit near her, despite how much of a bad decision he knew it was. Still, he wanted her close. The idea she’d wander off or away for any real length of time set his demon on edge.

  Searc’s hand went to Jessie’s thigh and Cormag snarled. It was clear he was struggling with the idea of letting go.

  Jessie touched her father’s hand lightly. “Daddy, if you’re going to be this way, I’m heading back to my condo. Is that what you want? Do you want the first night you’re back in town for months to be spent with you making thinly veiled threats at your men?”

  Her father’s gaze softened as it moved to her. “Lass, he’s nae my man anymore, is he?”

  She laughed softly. “Correct me if I’m wrong here, but didn’t you sire him after the battle that shall remain unnamed?”

  Searc tensed. Jessie knew of his history? Of how he’d come to be with her father?

  A question formed on Cormag’s face. “Have you been asking Islay for details from our past again?”

  Searc watched as Jessie flinched ever so slightly at the mention of Islay’s name. His demon pulsed within, wanting him to end Islay then and there. Islay had always been a pain in the ass, but Searc had never before wanted to kill him. Whatever was happening to him had his demon side totally out of whack.

  Jessie shook her head. “No. I might have happened upon the trunks in the attic. The ones with the old photos, paintings, sketches, and journals that you’ve kept over the years.”

  “Lass, that is nae reading for yer eyes,” scolded Cormag. He glanced away, appearing uncomfortable. “I’m nae a guid man and the journals prove as much. I’d rather my only child nae see me as the monster I am.”

  “Daddy, I love you, and I could never see you as a monster.” She patted his hand. “I understand better than you think what is out there in the world, even though you’ve tried so hard to shelter me from it all.”

  “Has someone harmed you?” Searc demanded. It was painfully clear she’d lain with someone, but who? Who’d been dumb enough to touch her?

  Cormag watched Jessie. “Answer him, lass.”

  She looked between the men. “Wow. You two go from threatening each other to ganging up on me just like that, huh?”

  “Aye,” they replied together, making her laugh.

  The sight warmed Searc, and he found himself reaching out and brushing her long hair over her shoulder. As he spotted Cormag watching the act, Searc pulled his hand away from her and tried to busy himself with his glass of blood. Whatever was going on with his maker was off-putting. He’d known the man long enough to understand when pushing the limits was unwise. This was one of those times.

  Jessie closed her eyes for the briefest of seconds. “Daddy, I’ve been having nightmares ever since…”

  Searc listened closely.

  “Since when?” asked Cormag.

  Jessie cleared her throat. “I was doing too much. Studying too hard. Not sleeping enough. Not taking care of myself.”

  Searc found he couldn’t resist the urge to make contact with her again. His hand found her thigh. “Lass?”

  She cast him a pleading look. He couldn’t deny her. She didn’t
want to speak of all of this and he knew he couldn’t force her. Seeing her like this—scared, unsure, upset—didn’t bode well with him. He wanted her happy and smiling.

  “You’re telling me that nothing more happened than you running yourself down?” asked Cormag, disbelief in his voice.

  “Daddy.”

  He apparently decided not to push further. “About you learning of our past, Jessie,” said Cormag. “I do nae keep those things so that you can go through them.”

  “I know. But I also know that if I don’t read about your past in there, I’ll never know about it,” she said with a sigh. “You try to keep so much from me. I hate that you see yourself as the ultimate darkness. And I really hate how much you hate what you did to your clansmen and sister clansmen—giving them each the gift of immortality.”

  Searc tensed. His maker regretted what he’d done? Regretted bringing over all the men he had so long ago?

  Cormag averted his gaze.

  Jessie kept her hand on her father’s. “You didn’t get a choice on sharing your body with a demon, Daddy. The man who made you didn’t care about honor, about duty or brotherhood. He wanted strong warriors to stand with him and try to fight against those trying to do good. He didn’t wait until you were on death’s doorstep. He sought you out, in the prime of your life, the son of a chieftain, a man born with the gifts of the Fae running through him, next in line to lead your clan, and he took your choices. He forced a demon upon you.”

  Searc never knew how Cormag had become a vampire. Never knew the truth of it all.

  Cormag closed his eyes a moment.

  Jessie leaned in toward him. “He tried so hard to mold you in his image. To twist your head and make you be a team player for evil.”

  “Lass, I am a team player for evil.”

  “No. You’re not, Daddy,” she corrected.

  “I wasnae always the man you see afore you,” he returned softly. “I am nae a guid man.”

  “Daddy, he wanted you to set fire to the world, to kill, slaughter, and screw your way through it, to hell with women and children, to hell with right and wrong. He wanted you to help him take over the world. You didn’t do that. As his second-in-command, you should have obeyed his every wish. You shouldn’t have been able to resist his command on you, but you did, even when you were barely a few years undead.”

  Her father stiffened, pain in his gaze as he looked at Jessie. “Lass, how much did you read?”

  With her free hand, she tugged at her lower lip. “Erm, all of the journals. Yours and Searc’s. They only cover so much though. They aren’t current or anything. But they are a time capsule into the past. Islay wasn’t happy when he found me digging through them all.”

  Searc’s head whipped up. Cormag had kept his old journals as well? Why?

  Jessie held tight to her father’s hand. “Daddy, you think you’re evil and that you did horrible things and yes, I’m sure you did your fair share, but so has everyone on both sides of the war. You stood against a real monster and went your own way, becoming a master vampire at a young age, and then you led your people through terrible times. You gave the men of your clan and the sister clans a choice. You didn’t give your dark gift to any who refused. And you kept the men close to you, guiding them as best you could after you sired them all.”

  “Lass, you see me in a positive light because I am yer father,” said Cormag.

  Jessie laughed. “Daddy, I know full well all the illegal activities you were engaged in. Did you really think I bought the whole line about you being some bigwig real estate tycoon before you fully went into the Paranormal Regulators? Daddy, please. Don’t insult my intelligence. I knew that was a bald-faced lie by the time I was six. And I also know that you really have put an end to breaking human laws, regardless how much Islay and the rest of the men you lead think it’s foolish and not worth your time.”

  “Jessie.”

  She kept looking at her father. “And I know that you feel like Searc isn’t one of you anymore, but in truth he is and always will be. You see a bit of yourself in him, Daddy. You always have. His family line is strong, as was yours. He’s rumored to have Fae in his lineage as well. Just like you. And he’s the one man you sired who has the ability to stand against you, even from day one.”

  Searc swallowed hard. “Lass, I cannae stand against him. I find myself having to obey when he uses the ‘push’ voice upon me. Do nae be making me out to be some renegade badass.”

  She took her other hand and touched Searc’s thigh, sending fire right to his groin. “Really? That wasn’t you challenging him tonight? That wasn’t you standing face to face with him, ready to fight to the death? Hmm, must be some other Searc then.”

  His lips curved upward. “It was me, lass.”

  “And that wasn’t you who walked away from all the darkness around a century or so ago to join forces with PSI? How much strength did walking away from your maker take then, Searc?”

  He met Cormag’s gaze. “More than I thought I had.”

  She squeezed his thigh. “I know you tried very hard to make my father see the light too. That you tried to get him to join PSI back then. Your journals stop around that time, because obviously you ended up leaving, but you write about wanting the best for my dad. He wasn’t ready yet. He needed time. But I also know that when I came into the picture, you did everything you could to convince him to stop what he’d been doing—to align himself with team good.”

  Team good?

  He liked how she simplified things. He put his hand over hers. “Jessie, you’ve been verra busy reading, haven’t you?”

  She blushed. “Yes.”

  He lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers. “Lass, we’ve things in our past we’re nae proud of.”

  She opened her mouth to speak but he shook his head.

  “We’ve lived far too many years to be perfect,” he added. “And we’ve both done all we could to right the wrongs of the past. But we do nae want medals hung around our necks. We’re hardly saints.”

  She teared up. “To me you both are.”

  Searc tipped his head. “Lass?”

  “I heard Daddy talking with Islay earlier, at the main house,” she said, something off in her voice. “He was talking about how you were the one who first sensed the truth of who I was to him when the woman showed up with me on the doorstep. That you protected me.”

  He kissed the back of her hand again. “The world stopped spinning for me that day, lass. The fierce need to assure you were guarded nearly left me seeking a place by Cormag’s side once more. I almost challenged Islay for the second-in-command position once more. Had it nae been for my PSI teammates, I might verra well have done it.”

  “What?”

  He shook his head. “I cannae explain it to you, because I cannae explain it to myself. I’ve always been…protective of you.”

  “You’ve always kept a lot of space between us,” she stated. “Daddy said I did, but you did too.”

  He looked at their joined hands and grinned. “It would appear much has changed.”

  She gasped and ripped her hand free from him. “Oh no you don’t. I don’t need more guys bossing me around and everything about you says you’ll try to boss me.”

  “Try?” he asked, amused.

  She glanced at her father and it was then Searc even remembered Cormag was there. The man had seen him kissing his daughter’s hand, but he was grinning like a fool.

  Jessie sighed. “Daddy, you have Searc. He’s loyal to you and you know it. Why are you smiling at him like that?”

  Cormag shrugged. “No reason. Agree to be locked in a tower for the next hundred years. It would ease my worrying.”

  Jessie laughed. “Um, I should let the two of you talk. I know you like spending time with Searc even though you nettle him nonstop about not being one of your men when you know very well he is and has always been.”

  Searc didn’t bother to correct her. She was right. He would always be bloo
d bound to Cormag.

  “Jessie, if you go, Searc will accompany you. He’ll be shadowing you for a while,” he said. “You heard of the attack in Scotland. Searc will be protecting you here while I get to the bottom of it all.”

  Jessie stiffened. “Daddy, you’re making Searc babysit me?”

  Searc jerked. She thought him wanting to spend more time with her was because her father wished it so? “It’s nae babysitting, and yer young. You cannae be expected to protect yerself.”

  “Protect myself? From what?” She twisted and leveled a hard gaze on him; his cock instantly wilted at the sight of her anger.

  Cormag tossed his head back and laughed. “Look at his face, lass! He doesnae like you being cross with him.”

  “Oh, I’m cross with you too,” she snapped. “You summoned him to take over where Erik and Shane are leaving off, didn’t you?”

  Cormag shrugged again. “I’m used to your feathers being in a dander. He’s nae. And what if I did summon him to help keep a keen watch over you? You’ll nae push him away. Something is stirring, and it is verra important you be looked after at all times. Searc will assist.”

  “Seriously, Daddy, I don’t need round-the-clock supervision. Your guys have been enough of a pain in the butt. I don’t need another hunky alpha male lingering outside my condo and following me around campus. I swear Islay was enough to deal with before you started making the Para-Regs do it too.”

  “You find Searc attractive?” asked Cormag.

  Searc’s anger rose. “You think Islay is fetching? Och, lass. He’s as ugly as they come.”

  “He’s yer first cousin and you both look much alike except for one has blond hair and one has dark,” reminded Cormag.

  Jessie turned to face Searc. “You’re first cousins with Islay? Really? He never mentioned that when I asked about you. And your journals never said anything about being related to him.”

  “You ask of me?” Searc found himself leaning in, bending his head, wanting closeness with the woman.

  Pink stained her cheeks. “Kind of.”

  “What do you wish to know? Ask and I’ll tell you.”