High Jinx

by Shannon Esposito

  ‘So, you see, it’s an ingenious management system,’ M.J. was saying to Devon. ‘There are twelve cameras on board so I can check any deck space I need to from here, plus I’ve already set the air temperature and checked the fuel and alerted the captain we’ll be boarding soon, all without stepping foot on her.’

  ‘Her?’ I smiled curiously. Glancing at Lulu, I asked, ‘Should Lulu be jealous?’

  ‘Jealous? Nah. She’s Lulu’s namesake. When Dad and I had her built three years ago I christened her the Voo Deux Queen, Lulu’s childhood nickname.’

  Lulu groaned. ‘I was mortified and I should’ve never told you and M.J. about my nickname.’ She shook her head. ‘You rich people are so strange.’

  ‘What can I say.’ M.J. shrugged. ‘I was in love.’ He leaned over and kissed her cheek. ‘Now more than ever.’

  ‘And you can keep an eye on the crew right from this thing at home?’ Devon asked. I saw his mouth twitch as M.J. nodded. Then Devon glanced at me and excused himself. I watched him walk away, comforted by the fact that his gun was concealed under the smoky gray jacket. Who knew what we were getting ourselves into tonight.

  I glanced nervously at Sven and then back at the yacht. M.J. really did have the most romantic plan, and I felt bad Lulu’s doubts were keeping her from enjoying it all. What would she say when M.J. was down on one knee in front of her? Maybe she would know in that moment what her heart truly wanted.

  Finally M.J. signaled it was time for us all to move to the yacht: M.J., Lulu, Cali, Selene carrying Chloe – who wore a little sailor outfit – Sven, Beth Anne, Carl and Devon and I. Flavia apparently didn’t do boats so she was staying home.

  The yacht sure was beautiful. A one-hundred-and-thirty-foot, sleek white Sunseeker with three decks and five cabins. The name Voo Deux Queen was elegantly scrolled on her side. Despite my anxiety of being on a yacht for the first time and sharing the experience with a possible killer, I was in awe as I climbed aboard.

  ‘This is like a fairytale,’ I said to no one in particular as we climbed the stairs up to the middle deck. A short, thin man in a captain’s hat greeted us. M.J. shook his hand, introduced him to us as Captain Bronson and told him we were ready to push off.

  Selene released Chloe to sniff around and then led Sven to the bar. Cali joined them, apparently not bothered at all by her mother’s boyfriend. She must’ve really hated her dad. M.J. led the rest of us around the bar and through smoked-glass doors into what he called the main stateroom. It sported mirrored and glossy black walnut walls, a white leather U-shaped sofa, a large flat-screen TV and it smelled like money. He led us over to the left-side balcony and invited us out.

  ‘When it gets dark we can turn on the underwater lights and see the fish swimming around down there. Sometimes even sharks.’ He had his arm protectively around Lulu. I felt myself swoon a bit as I looked down and saw that we were actually moving away from the dock. I clutched the crocheted bag I had slung over one shoulder and across my chest so it was always close, knowing I had my anxiety pills in there if I needed them.

  ‘Wow, she sure is quiet,’ Devon remarked.

  The men began to talk about the engines and other boring things as M.J. led us through the rest of the tour including a state-of-the-art galley, where a chef was cooking something delicious smelling, crew quarters downstairs below the gallery, an on-deck master bedroom plus three other smaller bedrooms, captain’s quarters, upstairs and downstairs living rooms with wet bars, three bathrooms, a four-person Jacuzzi, reclining sun pads on the bow and a garage hidden beneath the rear door where a dingy was stashed. And, of course, other toys including deep-sea fishing rods, snorkeling equipment and something on a shelf that caught Devon’s eye.

  ‘What are these?’ Devon walked over to the shelf and picked up one of two black apparatuses with a mouthpiece and two small handlebars on either side.

  ‘Ah!’ M.J. said, smiling and shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his khakis. ‘Those would be the Human Gills prototype, an invention Dad and I’ve invested in. These beauties allow you to breathe under water just like a fish.’ He picked up the other one. ‘You see, these filters have holes tinier than water molecules so the oxygen is extracted, compressed and stored here.’ He pointed to the small flat area behind the mouthpiece. All you have to do is pop it in your mouth.’

  Devon eyed the one in his hand with awe. ‘Bleedin’ brilliant.’

  M.J. nodded. ‘Yes, it is. We’re going to help them market it, not only for recreational use but to all vessels, including military, as a safety precaution.’

  M.J. checked his phone and replaced the Human Gills apparatus, suddenly glancing at Lulu nervously. ‘I need to check on how our dinner’s coming along.’ Did he sense Lulu’s doubts? I snuck a glance at her. Her eyes were cast downward as she peeled the label off her water bottle. Oh, boy. It was not looking good for M.J. But then she took a deep breath and rested her head on his shoulder. Maybe she was just nervous.

  ‘You all head back to the bow; I’ll meet you there.’ M.J. pressed a kiss into Lulu’s curls and then left us.

  As the rest of the party headed back up to the stateroom, I waited as Devon replaced the other Human Gills gadget back on the shelf and followed them. I was about to do the same when I heard a sharp bark. Whirling around, I saw Angel sitting below the shelf. My hand went to my heart. It looked like I could reach out and pet her and for an instant I moved to. But then she faded a bit as she let out a second sharp bark and one of the Human Gills fell from the shelf. I glanced back but Devon had already turned the corner on the stairs so he didn’t see it.

  ‘What is it, girl?’ I whispered. In response, she pawed at the gadget on the floor.

  I went over and picked it up. ‘This?’

  She flickered as she barked again.

  Sighing, I shoved the thing in my bag. ‘Got it. Thanks.’ She sneezed and then disappeared. Climbing the stairs, I wondered how sane I could be considering I’d just stolen something on the advice of my deceased dog. The worst part was I was beginning to wonder why I would need it.

  As I emerged into the air-conditioned stateroom, I noticed Cali was standing out on the balcony alone. Popping my head outside, I caught Beth Anne’s attention and jerked my head in the universal ‘come here’ signal. She nodded. Devon saw it too and came over with her.

  ‘What’s up?’

  ‘Cali’s on the balcony alone. I think Beth Anne and I should try to talk to her.’

  He stepped into the stateroom and glanced over at Cali. ‘All right, then.’ He didn’t believe Cali was the killer – he really thought it was Sven, so I knew he wasn’t worried. He’d reminded me that mentally ill people were more likely to be a victim of crime than the perpetrator, but I still had my doubts. Mostly because she did try to run me down in that Cadillac, I know that wasn’t a coincidence.

  The wind was a bit biting. I pulled my sweater closed as I flanked Cali on one side and Beth Anne flanked her other side. ‘Nice evening,’ I said, trying to get a feel for her mood. I’d never been this close to her and it was a bit unsettling. She exuded anger, from her white-knuckled grip on the railing to her clenched jaw muscles flicking up and down under pale skin. Her dark eyes were fixated on the sea but I had a feeling she wasn’t seeing it. Her attention was turned inward.

  ‘If you say so,’ she said flatly.

  ‘You OK, sugar?’ Beth Anne reached out and placed a hand over Cali’s.

  Cali suddenly turned into Beth Anne and began sobbing on her shoulder.

  Whoa! Beth Anne mouthed to me as she stroked Cali’s back. ‘It’ll be OK,’ she said out loud over and over until Cali’s sobs got further apart and turned into hiccups.

  I held my hands up in a helpless gesture to Beth Anne. I had no idea what to do.

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Beth Anne asked in her softest Southern tone, the one I’d heard her use to comfort Shakespeare.

  Cali threw herself back against the railing, her eyes fixed downward to
ward the water like she wanted to fling herself overboard. I braced my feet in case we had to grab her and stop her.

  But there was no need to worry. She suddenly collapsed onto the deck like a wet noodle and cried, ‘It’s my fault Dad is dead. I killed him!’

  TWENTY-THREE

  Beth Anne and I stared at the crumpled mess of girl at our feet and then at each other. I motioned for Beth Anne to keep her talking since Cali obviously felt comfortable with her. While Beth Anne squatted beside her, I reached in and clicked on my phone recorder.

  ‘Cali, tell me what happened,’ Beth Anne coaxed, gently pushing the clump of purple bang off the girl’s forehead. ‘You’ll feel better when you get it all out.’ She glanced up to make sure I was recording. I nodded. ‘Did you … did you cut your father’s rope, Cali?’

  Cali jerked her head up. Her perfect porcelain skin was now blotchy and puffy. Her eyes looked wild. ‘No, but I might as well have.’

  I kneeled down slowly beside her, my bag opened so it didn’t muffle the recording. ‘What do you mean, Cali?’

  She banged her head against the railing. Beth Anne stuck her hand behind it so she couldn’t hurt herself. Cali rubbed her face hard with both hands and then looked at us. So much sorrow there, I found myself tearing up. ‘It took a lot to get Dad to lose his cool, you know? I knew I was pushing his buttons. I guess I just wanted him to pay attention to me for once. Whatever kind of attention I could get from him was fine with me. M.J. has always been his favorite. He did everything with him and for him. I was nothing. A disgrace. Something to be locked away and hidden.’ These last words came out on a heartbreaking sob. ‘He even loved the maid, Breezy, more than he loved me. I pushed his buttons, all right. It felt good, too, to see I could get an emotional reaction from him. Only,’ she sniffed, ‘when Dad blew up, he really blew up and it took him a while to calm back down. Whoever he got into an argument with in the kitchen that lead to his death, that was because of me. He would never have fought with someone if I hadn’t got him all worked up. I hurt everyone I love. That’s why Sam left me. She knows she’s better off.’

  Beth Anne and I sighed at each other and I reached in and turned off the recording. Poor girl. She just wanted her dad’s attention and now she felt responsible for his death. As she broke down in sobs again, Beth Anne wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

  I had one more thing to clear up. ‘Cali, can I ask you something? Did you nearly hit me on my bike in that Cadillac?’

  She glanced up at me, confused, and shook her head.

  Well, there went the rest of my theory. Still, someone with access to that car did. It wasn’t my imagination. I went to get Selene. We were in over our heads.

  The bonus of Selene rushing to Cali’s aid was that it left Sven sitting on the outdoor sofa area alone. I saw Devon heading his way as I followed Selene back through the smoked-glass doors.

  ‘Oh, Cali!’ Selene helped her daughter up. She wiped the tears from her cheeks with her thumb and whispered something in Greek. It was touching to see her maternal side. ‘Come on, I’ll get your medication and you can rest in the bedroom.’

  After she led Cali away, Beth Anne and I shared a deep sigh.

  She pulled wind-whipped strands of her hair out of her mouth. ‘Drink?’ she asked, visibly shaken.

  ‘Definitely.’ I followed her out to the wet bar. ‘Something with rum,’ I said to the bartender.

  ‘Make that two,’ Beth Anne added. Glancing over her shoulder, she eyed Sven and Devon. Then she moved her gaze to her husband chatting with Lulu and M.J. on the other side of the yacht. ‘Hey,’ she whispered, ‘maybe now would be a good time for me to play the bored housewife?’

  We accepted our caramel-colored drinks, stuffed with pineapple, cherries and an umbrella, and I nodded. ‘Go on over; I’ll get Devon out of there.’

  We sashayed casually across like we didn’t have a care in the world, sipping our drinks. Beth Anne slid up close to Sven. He seemed startled at first. But then she flipped her tousled hair and batted her eyelashes and he turned toward her, his eyes following her surgically enhanced curves. Devon glanced up at me and I motioned for him to leave them.

  He excused himself, coming over to me and taking my hand. Leading me to the railing, he faced me, rested his hands on my hips and leaned in by my ear. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Beth Anne’s trying to see exactly how emotionally attached Sven is to Selene.’ We both snuck a glance. Beth Anne was holding the straw in her drink as Sven was taking a sip. His lips touched her fingers and she pretended to enjoy it. I grimaced as I imagined how many women’s body parts his lips had been on. I’d have to remind Beth Anne to wash her hands.

  ‘I’d say he’s not capable of emotional attachment,’ Devon grunted.

  I snuggled into his chest. ‘Some women would say the same about you,’ I teased.

  ‘Touché.’ He kissed the top of my head. ‘What happened with Cali?’

  ‘She broke down. Blames herself for her dad getting in the fight with whoever killed him in the kitchen. Thinks she got him too worked up and angry. She didn’t do it.’

  ‘So that leaves Sven.’

  We both glanced over at the giant man. I cringed. ‘Maybe it’s not such a good idea for Beth Anne to be getting his attention.’

  Sven was fully turned toward her now. Devon’s eyes narrowed. ‘I’d say it’s a little late for that.’

  I couldn’t believe he was acting like Beth Anne’s husband wasn’t twenty feet away. Then again, if you’re in the business of killing off husbands, you’ve got nothing to worry about if one’s around. Something was bothering me, though.

  Devon tightened his grip on my hips. ‘And cue the drama in five … four … three …’

  Looking over my shoulder, I saw Selene had emerged from the glass doors and was staring with narrowed eyes at Sven and Beth Anne. Her hands were on her hips and her spine was straight. Finally, plastering on a smile, she smoothed her dark glossy hair and strutted toward them.

  Sven looked torn as he noticed Selene coming.

  Wow. She looked furious. Wait! That was it. The piece of the puzzle that wasn’t fitting. If it wasn’t Cali that ran me down in the Cadillac then who else had access to it? Oh my God … Selene. Maybe Selene wasn’t giving Cali an alibi. Maybe it was the other way around. Could Selene have killed Michael? ‘I have to save Beth Anne,’ I whispered. Devon released me as I called, ‘Beth Anne, you have to come see the dolphins!’

  She wisely extracted herself from Sven’s presence. ‘Oh, I love dolphins,’ she was calling as she hopped over little Chloe snoozing on the deck and hurried over to us. ‘There are no dolphins, are there?’

  ‘No,’ I said, motioning behind us at Selene. ‘Only territorial sharks.’

  Under different circumstances it would’ve been a lovely dinner. As it was I barely tasted the food as I studied Selene and tried to remember all my interactions with her. She had seemed genuinely grief-stricken … well, unless she was with Sven. Then she seemed … stricken by Cupid’s arrow. Did she get rid of Michael to be with Sven? Devon seemed to think this was a possibility. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just get a divorce, though? He reminded me that nothing about love or murder ever made sense. She didn’t do or say anything to give herself away. How were we going to approach the subject with her?

  After dinner M.J. led us all to the bridge to watch the sunset. The captain had stopped the Voo Deux Queen and anchored her while we ate. I had asked M.J. how far out to sea we were and he said about forty miles. I checked in with my anxiety after hearing that little fact and found I was doing pretty good. Apparently out to sea didn’t register, maybe because there were no physical reference points for my mind to freak out about, or maybe it was because I’d always wanted to be a mermaid.

  As we all stretched out on the reclining sun pads, we watched the sun begin to sink toward the water and the sky morph into shades of gold and orange. Since I’d been concentrating on Selene I’d almos
t forgotten why we were all here. One glance at Lulu beside me jogged my memory. She was clutching her stomach and tears were shining in her eyes. She did not look like a woman excited about the prospect of being proposed to. I wanted to warn M.J. but it was too late.

  M.J. walked over and took her hand. Gently helping her to her shaky feet, he led her to stand on the deck in front of us. Then he dropped to his knee. It was so perfect, with the breeze lifting her corkscrew curls and the warm, magical sunset backlighting them, I really wished this was going to be a happy ending. I wished it with all my might. I glanced at Selene and Sven whispering to each other. I doubted M.J. was going to have his happy ending, whether Lulu said yes or not.

  Still holding her hands in his, he cleared his throat. ‘Lulu, I’m going to keep this short and sweet, like our courtship. I knew you were the only girl for me the first night you waited on our table. You’ve had my heart since then and, even though it took time for you to let our friendship grow into something more, I am beyond grateful you have. And that we’ve been blessed with a beautiful gift from our union.’ He released her hands, touched her belly softly and then reached in his pocket.

  I saw her gaze flick to the horizon. I glanced that way myself and caught the last bit of sun disappearing. When we both looked back at M.J., he was holding out a box with a huge sparkling diamond ring inside. ‘Lulu Dutrey, you already have my eternal love; now will you do me the honor of being Mrs Lulu Beckley … my wife?’

  The tears that had been welling in Lulu’s eyes all evening finally cascaded down her face. ‘Oh, M.J.’ Her voice was hoarse with anguish. I was suddenly sad for them both. ‘M.J., I can’t do this anymore. I panicked. I didn’t think it through. It was an impulse and you deserve the truth.’

  M.J. quickly jumped up to his feet and shook his head. ‘Lulu, don’t do this.’

  We all glanced at each other. What was going on?

  ‘I’m sorry, M.J. I can’t marry you.’ She took a step back.