Perfection

by J. L. Spelbring

  24

  Sweat dripped down Ellyssa’s face. Her body remained in perfect balance while she strengthened her arms and legs. First, an extended knife strike to the throat of her invisible enemy, then she spun around into a roundhouse kick, taking out her enemy’s knees. Much like a dancer, she moved fluidly, as she practiced the sequence of katas she’d been performing daily since she had turned three.

  The discipline had developed her, mind, body, and spirit, into the warrior she was bred to be. It helped keep her muscles strong and flexible even without the ability to run or use weights. She felt them pull under her skin, tightening, flexing, and stretching. Even after her accident, her body was ready, if need called for action. And, eventually, the call would come. Right now, though, the exercise kept her focus off Rein.

  She swept her foot from Hachi-dachi to Zenkutsu-dachi and snapped her arms out into a series of tsukis, yelling kias to accompany the movements. Performed perfectly, as always. If she had on her gi, instead of the black shirt and camo pants, the material would snap with the strength and form of her attack.

  The kata completed, she brought her hands up and around, ending with her feet together and her arms at her sides. She bowed. Clapping erupted behind her. Unsurprised, Ellyssa turned around and bowed to Trista, who’d been watching her for the last five minutes.

  “That was wonderful. I’ve never seen anyone do anything like that.” Trista bounded from the entrance toward Ellyssa, her blue eyes sparkling in excitement and her ponytail bouncing in blond waves. “Can you teach me sometime?”

  “I’d be happy to,” Ellyssa said, wiping the sweat from her brow. Her hand froze in mid-swipe. She’d spoken like a normal person without even thinking about it. Mathew was right, practicing brought it about like second nature.

  Trista’s face lit and exhilaration oozed from every pore. “Great!”

  Half-afraid the female was going to hug her, Ellyssa stepped back and began wiping down her arms. Even with Jordan and his daylong visits, she still didn’t feel comfortable with everyone. Saddened over her inability to completely trust Trista, she turned from her visitor and washed her face in the basin.

  Trista didn’t seem to notice her discomfort. She went over to Ellyssa’s cot and sat down. “I’d like that,” she said, crossing her legs. “By the way, Jordan wants to see you.”

  Ellyssa’s gaze flashed toward the door leading into the tunnel. “What about the guard?”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I sent him away. Your days of being guarded are over.” She picked up the novel Ellyssa had been reading and wrinkled her nose. “You like this book?”

  Her eyes fell to the book Trista was thumbing through. To have a family, people who loved her, wasn’t that the true reason for existence? It definitely wasn’t to live in loneliness.

  “I do.”

  “I’m not much into reading. I know I should be, but…” She shrugged.

  “All I have ever read were text books. Never any fiction. Just facts and more facts.”

  The arch in Trista’s eyebrows and the pull of her mouth told Ellyssa how much she thought she’d missed. Even being raised in a cave with very few modern amenities, things Ellyssa took for granted, Trista was the one feeling sorry for her. Just like that, though, Trista was smiling again, all teeth and happiness.

  Trista tossed the book back onto the cot. “Are you about ready?”

  “Let me change shirts.” Ellyssa went behind a screen and pulled on a different black T-shirt. She tucked the hem in around her waist and stepped toward the door.

  “So, no more guards?” she asked as Trista joined her in the tunnel. Even though Ellyssa had only been escorted through the passageway once, she walked with confidence.

  “I don’t think so. I overheard Jordan telling Woody it was ridiculous to treat you like a prisoner.”

  “Are they changing where I sleep?”

  Ellyssa sidled into the dark corridor that led into the generator room. The cool air settled on her skin.

  “Not yet. Have you seen the holeys?”

  Ellyssa shook her head.

  “They suck. You should wish they let you stay here. At least you’re off the ground.”

  “You sleep on the ground?”

  Trista looked at her as if the answer was obvious. “Did you think all of us had our own rooms with cots and such?”

  “I’ve not really thought about it at all,” Ellyssa responded, proud how easily the words were rolling off her tongue. She rounded a bend. Humming emitted from ahead. She stepped into the generator room with Trista following and entered the tunnel leading into the dining area.

  “We live in little holes, like little grey moles.”

  Ellyssa smiled at the dry humor.

  “You think I’m kidding?” Trista asked.

  “No.”

  “It’s awful. You wait and see.”

  They stepped into the empty room. The long benches rested on top of the wooden tables. Two people with olive-colored skin washed the counter where the food was distributed. They looked up when Ellyssa and Trista entered, and nodded a greeting before continuing with their chore.

  Trista pulled on Ellyssa’s sleeve. “This way.” She moved in front. “Jordan’s not doing well,” she continued in a whisper, her cheerful demeanor disappearing in a whiff. It amazed Ellyssa how Trista could cycle through emotions so quickly.

  “When I went to wake him this morning, he was wheezing and coughing more than usual.” She turned to face Ellyssa, her expression downcast and her eyes worried. “His lips were blue.”

  Ellyssa’s forehead crinkled in concern. “Is he doing better now?”

  “Once I got him standing, his lungs cleared and his color returned, but I wouldn’t say he is actually doing better.”

  Trista started off again, heading down a different tunnel that opened into a magnificent room. Rows of long, thick columns jutted from floor to ceiling in spiraling towers. Minerals sparkled under the yellow lights that swung between the pillars.

  Trista stopped where the light faded into a tunnel. Voices carried from a room ahead. Some were loud, others were normal; all carried urgency.

  “This is the main hall, where we have our meetings. Everyone is in attendance,” she warned.

  Ellyssa had expected the Renegades to have more of a problem with her than she would with them. She forced her lips into a fake smile, and shrugged. Shrugging said a lot.

  Quietly, they entered the back of the room. People filled the benches, facing away from the newcomers. Jordan sat in the front on a natural platform. He was slumped over, and under the fluorescent lights, his skin appeared waxen.

  Woody stood next to him, his arm around the older man’s shoulders. His ash-blond hair fell loosely around his head. Worry lined his features, cutting deep around his eyes. He tilted his chin to Ellyssa, then leaned closer to Jordan’s ear. As he whispered, the dark man’s eyes shifted toward her, and a tired smile lifted his cheeks. Jordan motioned for her to come closer. A collage of Renegades pivoted their heads toward her, their faces holding a mix of distrust and confusion.

  Mumbling lifted in the air, followed by laughter when a musical voice said, “Bitch.”

  Ellyssa saw Candy sitting in the first row next to Jason. She hadn’t seen the fiery redhead since the day in the dining room, which was fine with her. Ellyssa ignored Candy’s narrowed gaze and Jason’s lustful eyes, which had swept up from her feet and stopped at her chest. She stepped onto the platform next to Woody.

  Jordan tried to rise to his feet, but Ellyssa shook her head. Upon closer inspection, he looked worse than she had first realized. His brown skin was shaded grey, his dreads fell limp, and his lips were tinged blue. Even though tiredness clung to him, dragging him down, his chocolate eyes still held humor.

  Ellyssa blinked away the sudden stinging in her own eyes. This old man had touched her in such a short time. A true friend. She forced control over her emotions and smiled.

  “As I’m sure you already know through
the grapevine, this is Ellyssa, the newest member of our little family,” Jordan announced, as his eyes shifted toward Candy. “I expect everyone to treat her accordingly.”

  Voices lifted. Some were pleasant, others held anger. Ellyssa glanced sideways at Candy and Jason; they were huddled together, whispering. She wished there weren’t so many people, so she could get a read on them.

  She decided to chance it, anyway.

  Focusing on Candy, with her brilliant red hair, pinched face and glaring eyes, Ellyssa lowered her shield just a fraction, and, instantly, images and noise bombarded her. She stumbled back. If not for Woody, she would’ve fallen. He held her upper arm while she slammed her defenses up against the onslaught. With the voices quieted in her head, she looked out into the small audience. Everyone was staring at her.

  “Are you okay?” Woody asked.

  “Yes. Thank you.” She turned toward Jordan. “I’m sorry. Please, continue.”

  Jordan peered at her for a moment, his shoulders drooping, as if the weight of his head tired him. In just the few seconds she had been on the platform, the leader had grown even paler.

  His head bobbled forward as he continued addressing the crowd. “As I said, I expect her to be treated accordingly. There is a lot we can learn from her, as much as she can learn from us. I am putting her on the council.”

  Ellyssa blinked back. “What?”

  Protests broke out among the people.

  Woody stepped forward. “Shut up!”

  As the mob quieted, a man with hair the color of pitch stood. “From what I understand, she’s from The Center.”

  “She can’t be trusted,” a female in the back complained.

  Candy bolted to her feet, her face as blazing red as her hair. “How can you even offer her a position on the committee without talking to us first?”

  “The decision has been made, Candy,” said Jordan.

  Candy’s face changed shades of red, lighting her freckles on fire. They brightened past the shade of her hair. “No one asked me.”

  “You’re only an alternate.”

  “What about Jason? He holds a seat.” She glanced at Jason. He turned away, his shoulders hunched defensively.

  Candy’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “How dare you?” she spat. “After everything we talked about?” She faced the crowd, sweeping her arm toward Ellyssa. “She’s a spy. She’s going to destroy us.”

  “Listen,” Jordan croaked.

  Words never followed. The leader bent over, coughing. His face turned the color of ash, and blue flooded his lips. He hacked again and blood seeped from the corner of his mouth.

  “Take his other arm,” Ellyssa ordered Woody, whose feet were apparently bolted to the platform. “We need to take him to the hospital.”

  Ellyssa’s voice broke Woody from his shock, and he moved to take Jordan’s arm.

  Jordan waved them both away. The old man spat reddish-green mucus onto the stony ground. “I’m going to finish this,” he said. “Then, I will go.”

  Jordan’s face drew into a weathered scowl, and his eyes hardened as he looked out into the crowd. “I have led you, and our community has survived while others were captured.” His voice was amazingly strong and unwavering. “Ours survived against all odds. But it wasn’t just because of my leadership; it was because we accepted new members. We brought in new knowledge, new ideas, new ways of doing things from all walks of life. It was because of all of you.”

  The elder struggled to stand, and Ellyssa assisted him. He straightened his back and leveled his gaze onto his people. “It is no secret that I am sick…and old. And as a last word to you all…my last plea. Trust me on this. I wouldn’t lead you astray.”

  “No,” Candy roared. “She can’t be trusted. None of you saw her that day in the store. The way she moves, how fast she is. It’s not natural.”

  Jason grabbed her wrist and tried to make her sit, but she ripped away from his grasp and whirled around on him. “And you,” she seethed accusingly. “You traitor.” She stomped from the room, her footfalls slapping against the stone.

  All eyes followed her until she disappeared down a tunnel. They returned their attention to the old man.

  “Trust me,” Jordan said.

  Jason and Woody put Jordan on the cot next to hers. His breaths came in short, wheezing gasps.

  Looking lost, Jason rocked on his feet for a moment before retreating back into the tunnel; hands shoved in his pockets. He stayed at the edge of the entrance, his eyes downcast.

  “What are we supposed to do?” Woody asked.

  Ellyssa didn’t have an answer for him. Her medical education went as far as first aid, not enough to cure what ailed an aging man. All she knew to do, Trista was already doing—applying a wet cloth to his forehead. “I don’t know.” Strangely, even now, she noticed how her speech flipped-flopped back and forth.

  The old man started choking again.

  Ellyssa’s heart sputtered. Panic. She squashed the sensation before it incapacitated her. Slipping into her old skin, her comfort zone when chaos emerged, she became stoic; the turmoil inside her faded away.

  “Grab that bowl,” Ellyssa said to Woody.

  Woody handed it to her, and she put it under the old man just in time for Jordan to empty the contents of his stomach. Phlegm and bile filled the bowl, sloshing over one side.

  “I am so sorry,” she said.

  Jordan looked at her with dulled eyes. Beads of perspiration glimmered on his forehead. “No need for sorrow,” he muttered.

  “I do not know what to do.”

  He grinned. “Neither do I.”

  Trista wrung the cloth out in a basin of water and placed it back on his head.

  “What will make you comfortable?” Ellyssa asked.

  “I want you to listen,” he said to Ellyssa, his voice low. She knelt closer to hear him. “My son, Jeremy, found you for a reason. I know it.”

  He inhaled. Ellyssa could hear the sickening rattle deep inside his chest. She glanced at Woody; sorrow fixed his features and his eyes filled with tears.

  “I know there is conflict, but I believe in you. You’ll do what is right.”

  Watching the old man fade away right before her eyes put a chink in her armor. “Jordan,” she said, fighting to hang on to her impassiveness, “I do not know what you mean.” Her voice shook.

  “You will,” Jordan said. His lips curled into a grin. Then, with his last breath, the leader’s eyes glazed over, forever stilled.

  “Jordan.” She shook his arm. He didn’t respond.

  Misery and loss, profound and unending, completely enveloped her, the strength unlike any sensation she’d felt thus far. Powerless, not knowing how to respond, the emotion smothered the logic of her mind. Her apathetic cocoon shattered into tiny fragments, the pieces forever gone. Tears floated in her eyes before overflowing down her cheeks.

  “What am I supposed to do?” Ellyssa looked helplessly at Trista.

  “I’m going to let the others know,” Trista said, her words almost undecipherable as she backed out of the hospital.

  Jason left with her.

  Ellyssa shook Jordan’s arm again, tears streaming down her face. She tried to blink them back, but they just kept coming, like an incessant drip from a leaky faucet. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t make them stop. She remembered the first time tears had reached her eyes when she divulged her secret to Jordan, Rein, and Mathew, but this was different. She had absolutely no control.

  She moaned, then sobs racked her body.

  A hand touched her shoulder. She turned. Woody stood over her, his grey eyes shadowed.

  “There’s nothing you can do,” he said, his voice cracking.

  Woody pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. Ellyssa had never thought about needing comfort, needing the touch of another human being, given by a man who didn’t care for her. She needed it now. Returning his embrace, she buried her face in his chest and let the emotion take her into new t
erritory.

  25

  After crying what seemed like a river of tears, Ellyssa sat on her cot. Her eyes were dry and raw. The memory of Jordan, his face peacefully at rest, was imprinted in her brain. His people had gathered to pay tribute as he was lowered into a grave, tossing in wildflowers.

  Ellyssa had never witnessed a funeral. When someone died at The Center, the empty shells disappeared into the incinerator, burned like trash. But here, the death of a loved one was mourned, their memory cherished.

  She wished she had more to cherish. The loss she felt in her chest, for a man she’d just met, was profound. The way he’d touched her life, in such a short time, amazed her. No wonder emotions and attachments were prohibited at The Center. She felt drained.

  Ellyssa felt so alone.

  Then, there was Rein. She wanted to talk to him and apologize for harboring her secret, risking his trust. He’d been gone longer than any of them had expected, but no one seemed worried. Woody had told her that sometimes there were unforeseen hang-ups, delaying travel. His words didn’t comfort her.

  The sadness, the loneliness, the worry ate at her. Ellyssa needed serenity, to block out everything.

  She stood and started her tai chi exercises. The fluid movements and slow breathing were calming, much more so than karate. It was one thing she’d secretly relished for as long as she could remember.

  Ellyssa’s feet slid across the floor, lightly, as if she could defy gravity, her hands fluidly moving from side to side, lightening her sorrow. Finishing the second in the series, she pulled her feet together and bowed to the wall.

  “Doc said you were a beautiful sight to behold, but I never imagined,” Woody said.

  She had heard Woody come in and hoped he would go away. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone, even after the moment they had shared. Besides, she didn’t know how to act now that he had seen her at her weakest. He’d witnessed a whole new Ellyssa. She ignored him and started on the next set of graceful movements.

  “Ellyssa, may I have a moment?” Woody asked.