Crystal's Calamity (The Red Petticoat Saloon)

by Stevie MacFarlane

  “Yes, that is odd, isn’t it? She’s not as forthcoming with me as you might think,” he admitted. “Our relationship has undergone a change.”

  “But you occasionally have supper with her and I know you’ve been on picnics and such. I thought you were a couple of sorts. I’ve been expecting her to tell me she’s leaving to marry you any day.”

  “I’ve asked, many times,” he sighed looking into his empty glass and signaling Amy for another. “She refuses. At first I hoped to change her mind, but now I fear I’ve changed mine. I love her, Jewel, but I can’t get past the idea of other men being with her in that way. Call me shallow, but it’s the truth. If she would agree to give it up, I might be able to put it behind me in time, but she won’t.”

  “I don’t understand this, Jasper. I know in the beginning it was the money. She wants her mine back and I can’t say as I blame her, but surely she has enough now to hire an attorney.”

  “It was never the money,” he informed her sadly. “She could have had every dime I have. No, it’s something else that keeps her here and I’m not at liberty to explain. Just ask Gabe to keep a close watch on her when I’m not around.”

  “Are you planning on going somewhere?” she asked gently.

  “Eventually I’m afraid I must. As you said, how long can I continue to let this go on?”

  “Look,” Jewel whispered, clutching his arm. “She’s back down already and there’s that strange, quiet man who comes every Thursday going up with her. He always has a book tucked under his arm. I wonder if he’s a preacher. Wish I was a fly on the wall up there,” she sighed.

  “I have a better idea,” Jasper said quickly. “Do you have a ladder?”

  “Yes, it should be out behind the shed,” Jewel replied with a grin. “Tell me you’re not going to spy on her,” she pleaded.

  “Wish I could,” he snapped as he hurried from the bar.

  “What are you up to now?” Gabe asked, laying a heavy hand on Jewel’s shoulder as she made to rise from the chair.

  “Oh nothing, just thought I’d visit with Jasper for a bit, why?”

  “You’ve got mischief written all over you,” Gabe said, watching Jasper shoot through the door. “Let’s take a little stroll outside.”

  “Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?” he asked suspiciously.

  “Well, there’s a lot of work to do in here,” she answered, not meeting his eyes.

  “I have a feeling we won’t be gone very long,” Gabe insisted, taking her hand and pulling her up. Slipping an arm around her waist he moved her toward the batwing doors. “A breath of fresh air will do you good.”

  “Somehow I don’t think so,” Jewel replied cryptically.

  ***

  Crystal sat on her bed; her legs crossed enjoying the sound of Gerald’s voice. A gentle breeze blew in through the open window. Leaving it open was a habit she recently adopted when the smoke from downstairs began to bother her.

  “She walks in beauty, like the night

  Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

  And all that’s best of dark and bright

  Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

  She Walks In Beauty Like the Night—Lord Byron”

  “Hell, he’s reading her poetry,” Jasper hissed, peering over the edge of the roof.

  “What?” Jewel whispered from below. She ignored Gabe who stood with his arms crossed against his chest in disgust.

  “I said he’s reading poetry to her.”

  “Oh, how sweet,” Jewel sighed. “Why don’t you ever read poetry to me?” she demanded of Gabe. “It would really touch my heart,” she said, placing her hand on her bosom.

  “It’s not your heart I’m interested in touching right now,” he stated shaking his head. “Get down from there Montgomery,” he called up.

  Hearing strange whispers, Crystal bounded off the bed and went to the window. Pushing it all the way open, she climbed out onto the roof.

  “Miss Crystal,” Gerald scolded, his voice clearly alarmed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be out on the roof. Some of these buildings are all façade and not as strong as you would think.”

  “I’ll be fine, Gerald. Jasper, what in heaven’s name do you think you’re doing?” she demanded, peering over the edge and seeing him a few rungs down. “Oh,” she gasped, stomping her foot. “You were spying on me! How long has this been going on?”

  “I wasn’t spying,” Jasper insisted, glaring up at her. “I just thought I heard something strange and I wanted to check on you.”

  “The only strange thing around here is you,” she snapped, leaning farther forward in her anger.

  “Get inside,” Jasper roared when he saw her teeter near the edge.

  “Miss Crystal, please,” Gerald pleaded, reaching for her.

  “Gerald, you’re an engineer,” she said stiffly.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Good. Now I figure that ladder is about twenty feet high. Do you agree?”

  “About that, yes,” Gerald replied, inching closer to her.

  “And Mr. Montgomery is down maybe four or five rungs.”

  “Yes, that’s about right.”

  “What the hell are you getting at?” Jasper demanded, coming back up the ladder.

  “The way I figure it, that horse trough over there is maybe eighteen or twenty feet away. If I give him a shove, he should pretty nearly make it, don’t you agree?”

  “Well gee, I can’t say for sure, Miss Crystal without doing the calculations, but that sounds about right.”

  “Good!” Standing on the very edge of the roof, she took the top of the ladder in her hands and pushed it away from the building.

  “Don’t you dare,” Jasper roared. “Get the hell back before you fall and break your fool neck.”

  “It’s your neck you should be worried about,” she hissed, giving another hard push. The force had her arms wind-milling and at the last moment Gerald wrapped a strong arm around her waist and prevented her from falling off. The ladder paused upright for a moment before toppling backward and Jasper hung on until he hit the cold water and was submerged in the trough. He climbed out spitting mad and soaked to the skin.

  “Now, mind your own business, Montgomery,” Crystal bellowed as Gerald all but pushed her in the window. She slammed it shut.

  Jewel was laughing so hard she was doubled over. “You have to admire her spunk,” she howled, straightening and wiping her eyes.

  “That’s not spunk, that’s pure meanness,” Jasper yelled, wiping the water from his face.

  “I agree,” Gabe said, “and if you don’t blister her ass for this, I will.”

  “Oh go ahead,” Jasper said stomping toward his horse. “If I put my hands on her right now I’ll…”

  “I’ll do it,” Gabe replied, “but first I have to take care of the instigator.”

  “Now, Gabe,” Jewel began, backing up.

  “Don’t you ‘now Gabe’ me,” he growled advancing on her. “This has your name written all over it.”

  “Leave Crystal go till tomorrow,” Jasper said, mounting his horse. “I think you already have your hands full.”

  Turning, Gabe caught just a glimpse of Jewel’s dress as she shot through the door and into the saloon. “Truer words were never spoken, my friend. I’ll leave her to you.”

  ***

  He spanked her before breakfast. Jasper Montgomery simply strode through the double doors of The Red Petticoat Saloon, nodded once to Gabe who was arranging bottles behind the bar and marched up the stairs. Gabe heard his heavy footsteps down the hallway, a door open and close and three minutes later the howls began. They were enough to wake the whole place. He smiled and went back to work.

  Jasper didn’t bother to wake her. Sitting on her bed he pulled her warm sleepy body over his lap, shoved up her nightgown and proceeded to roast her ass. It took her a moment to realize what was happening and then she fought like hell to get away, all o
f her efforts wasted.

  His hand fell over and over, her cries had absolutely no effect on him and she wondered when she would just burst into flames and become a cinder. He spanked her cheeks, her thighs and the underside of her bottom with an upward smack that stole her breath and cut her cries off mid scream.

  When he was finished, which seemed like a very long time to Clem, and she wasn’t much more than a weeping, snotty puddle of misery, he pushed her off his lap, flipped her over and shoved her down on the bed.

  “That was a real spanking,” he informed her, pinning her hands down on the bed. “What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed!” Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket he wiped her mouth and nose before kissing her, hard. Then he was gone as quickly as he arrived, slamming the door behind him.

  “Gabe,” he said acknowledging the man as he walked past the bar. “Guess I’ll see what Nettie has for breakfast. Suddenly I have quite an appetite.”

  “Think I’ll join you, Montgomery. Seems we have more in common than I thought.”

  In no time at all, Nettie brought out big platters heaped with ham, eggs, biscuits and fried potatoes. Both men tucked into the meal with gusto.

  “Chicken gumbo for dinner tonight, Mr. Gabe,” Nettie said. “We got another flock of chickens from one of Miss Crystal’s customers,” she continued with a wink.

  Jasper frowned. “Jewel tells me there have been strangers asking about McKay’s son,” he said as soon as Nettie returned to the kitchen. “Tell me what you’ve noticed?”

  Gabe nodded. “This place is full of strangers. Crystal is good for business in general. We’ve got more men coming in for a good meal, we’re serving more drinks and the other gems are working their tails off, no pun intended. The only one who’s not happy is Crystal.”

  Jasper raised his eyebrow and looked at Gabe. Taking a sip of his coffee he indicated he’d like the other man to elaborate.

  “Oh, she puts on a good show,” Gabe continued. “She’s so sweet to her customers it’s enough to give you a toothache, and they fawn over her like she’s a princess. They’re in and out all afternoon too, not just at night. Every morning, she sneaks out the back door and rides.”

  “She goes to the mine,” Jasper said.

  “I know, I followed her,” Gabe replied.

  “I thought gems weren’t allowed to go out alone?”

  “They aren’t once it starts to get dark,” Gabe agreed, then clarified. “Crystal doesn’t leave here as a gem, she leaves as a young boy. It bothered me quite a bit, but there wasn’t much I could do to stop her. Technically she isn’t breaking the curfew rule. Even if she were, I’m not sure spanking her each and every day would deter her. Even I couldn’t go that far, not when she’s such a sad little thing. She rides out, leaves that horse of hers a half mile or so away from the mine and moves closer. It’s eerie how she can stay so still and quiet for so long watching, always watching. Most women couldn’t sit still for that long, let alone keep quiet,” he snorted.

  “Did you say anything to her?”

  “I was going to. I’ve thought about really laying down the law to her until I realized her friend, that Whiskers character, was the one out there most of the day. I do believe that man would lay down his life for her, he thinks that much of her.”

  “That’s reassuring, but it’s not going to protect her when someone puts two and two together,” Jasper snapped. “Whoever killed Clyde McKay isn’t going to stop looking for his son.”

  “I agree, but why? He got away with it and as far as anyone knows, the kid is long gone. Why stir up trouble?”

  “I wish I knew. Maybe he’s sorry he left a witness, or maybe something will turn up in San Francisco. Adam Barlow is still looking into it for her.”

  “In the meantime, what are you going to do?” Gabe asked.

  “What would you do?”

  “That’s easy.” Gabe laughed, finishing his coffee and rising. “I’d do exactly what you just did only more often and I’d cart her ass out of town so fast her head would spin.”

  “Technically that’s kidnapping, Gabe,” Jasper drawled, “not that it hasn’t occurred to me.”

  “So what’s stopping you?”

  “Clementine’s different from most women, Gabe. That girl has a fire in her soul a few good times and baubles couldn’t come close to soothing. Even if I got away with it and relocated her, I’d have to watch her every second. The minute my back was turned she’d be gone, on her way back to Culpepper Cove,” he sighed. “I know she has feelings for me. She’s full of lust, but it’s not for me, it’s for revenge.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. If I could see an end to it, I could wait, but there’s no guarantee her father’s murderer is even around here. He could simply have been a hired gun. This could go on for years. Clem’s stubborn; she’ll never give it up and she can’t move on until it’s resolved.” Shaking his head sadly, he threw some money on the table.

  Suddenly, a commotion had him looking at the doorway. The gems filed in for breakfast in various states of dishabille.

  “You’re up early,” Gabe said with a grin.

  “Yeah,” Amy replied. “Someone woke us up screaming her head off,” she snapped, nodding her head at Crystal who was straggling behind.

  “Shut up, Amy,” Dottie scolded. “It wasn’t her fault.”

  “Good morning, ladies,” Jasper said with a courtly bow.

  “Humph,” Opal sniffed as she pushed by him.

  Jasper ignored her disdain and took note of Crystal. She was barefoot, wearing a frothy, ruffled white robe that dragged on the floor behind her. Her eyes were red and swollen and she carried a brocade pillow. Reaching out, he clasped her hand as she walked by and raised it to his lips.

  “Good morning, Crystal. You look lovely this fine morning,” he said sweetly as she raised her chin and looked at him haughtily.

  “Drop dead, Montgomery,” she replied, yanking her hand from his grasp.

  Jasper smiled. “My, my, it appears someone is in a foul mood.”

  “And whose fault is that?” Opal demanded. “Take your showboating down the road, Jasper. We’re not in the mood, are we ladies?” she asked.

  “Certainly not.”

  “That’s an understatement if I ever heard one.”

  “Mr. Vazquez, I enjoyed our conversation, but I believe I’ll take my leave,” Jasper remarked, picking up his hat. “It seems I’m not very desirable company this morning.”

  “You bet you’re not,” Crystal said from between her teeth as she placed the pillow on her chair and sat with a hiss.

  “I’ll be back tonight.”

  “Thanks for the warning.”

  “Listen, Jasper,” Opal said, turning in her chair to glare at him and speaking as though she were talking to someone of slightly less than adequate intelligence. “Frankly we don’t give two shits what you do at night, but when you wake us up at the ass-crack of dawn it doesn’t exactly put you in our good graces, does it, ladies?”

  Jasper smiled as they murmured agreement.

  “Please forgive my sudden and intrusive behavior this morning. I’m truly sorry I disturbed most of you. Rest assured I shall make it up to you. Good day.”

  “Oh good,” Amy said with delight. “I hope it’s with something expensive.”

  “Shut up, Amy,” Crystal sighed, laying her head on the table.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jasper was as good as his word. That afternoon several pretty packages were delivered to The Red Petticoat Saloon. Amy cooed over her bottle of expensive perfume that came all the way from Paris, France. Opal received an outrageously expensive new bonnet that tied beneath her chin with lavender ribbons. Dottie got a stuffed green parrot in a gilded cage. Citrine received a golden fringed shawl.

  There were numerous boxes of chocolates, an assortment of ribbons and pretty do-dads and even a gaily wrapped box for Crystal which she didn’t want to open and
was sorry when she had.

  As soon as she peeled back the tissue paper, the laughing started. Her gift was a smooth and highly polished wooden paddle in the shape of a heart. Her face flamed when she read the words painted on one side. ‘For Crystal’s Calamities’. Tossing it back in the box, she walked away, ignoring the titters behind her as the girls admired the craftsmanship.

  Opal plucked the card from the box and read it out loud.

  “Don’t be embarrassed, darling. I made this myself especially for you. As soon as my hand cooled down his morning, I realized that every job requires the proper tool.

  J.M.”

  “Very funny,” Crystal snapped, snatching the card from her hand and stuffing both that and the paddle back in the box.

  “At least he made it himself,” Dottie offered, calling out as Crystal stomped from the ladies’ parlor and down the hall to her room.

  ***

  That evening when Jasper arrived, all the gems made a point of thanking him profusely. Crystal, dressed in red and sporting outrageously red lip rouge, ignored him as she took Whiskers up to her room.

  “You’ll never believe it, Miss Crystal,” he exclaimed as soon as she closed the door. “I received a letter from Lorelei and was nearly able to decipher it myself. Are you all right?” he asked with concern when she eased down on the side of her bed.

  “I’m fine, just not feeling my best tonight,” she replied with a grimace.

  “I know what happened,” Whiskers said with a frown. “It’s all over town.”

  “What’s all over town?” she demanded.

  “What you did to Montgomery last night. How you went out on the roof and shoved that ladder over, sending him into the water trough.”

  “And?”

  “And how he came back here this morning and tanned your hide good. When the fellas heard about it, most of them wanted to string him up, but after discussing it, we all decided there wasn’t much else he could have done. That was a terrible risk you took, young lady. It’s a wonder you didn’t fall off and break your neck,” he said, shaking his head in disgust.

  “Tell me about the letter from Lorelei,” Crystal pleaded, changing the subject. There was no way she was going to discuss what Jasper had done to her, not with Whiskers or anyone else. It was bad enough to hear it was a topic of conversation among her ‘students’.