Reignited: Ensenada Heat Book 3
Page 8
Their meal at the restaurant last night had been delicious, but she was really comfy in just his shirt and didn’t feel like getting dressed and ready to go out.
“Eating dinner in bed sounds perfect,” she said, turning her body so she could stroke his cheek.
“Your wish is my command, little one.”
Her old Jake had always doted on her; it was something she’d missed so much—especially because David never did after they were engaged. She didn’t think Jake would ever stop cherishing her—he seemed hardwired to care for her. The ‘new’ Jacob was even more attentive than she remembered.
And the ‘new’ Jacob in bed? Oh. My. God.
“So, when we were together before… did you ever want to spank me then?”
She felt him chuckle.
“Where did that come from? Maybe we should order dinner first before we start reminiscing.”
Her question was kind of out of the blue, but it was something she’d been wondering ever since he first smacked her bottom, and she orgasmed all over his fingers because of it.
“Are you avoiding the question?”
He softly kissed her neck then let his hands wander to caress her inner thighs. If this was a diversion tactic of his, it wasn’t going to work.
Okay, maybe for just a minute or two.
“I’ll take that as a yes, you’re avoiding the question,” she murmured as she tilted her head to allow him better access to her neck.
Jake stopped kissing her and said with a laugh, “Not avoiding the question. You’re just too tempting when you’re sitting here on my lap.” He moved his hands under her butt and lifted her off him.
“Let’s order dinner and we can talk while we wait for it to get here.”
****
They ordered, and he was standing at the credenza, pouring a glass of single malt Scotch when he said, “To answer your earlier question, no I didn’t have a desire to spank you seven years ago.”
Her heart sunk; that meant he’d acquired this interest with someone else. She’d had two sex partners in her life; how could she compete with someone who’d help him develop this kink?
“Oh,” was all she could think to respond.
He turned around and looked at her intently. So intently she began to fidget from her seat on the couch.
“You’ve always given me your submission, Tink—probably without even realizing it. When you were twenty-three, you looked at me like I hung the moon; I didn’t need anything else from you. But the older you? The one who’s seen more of life and is no longer impressed that I can speak five languages and realizes that I did not hang the moon? You’ve experienced my biggest mistakes first hand—you know I’m fallible, and I want your submission now more than ever. I fucking crave it. Spanking you just feels natural.”
It felt natural to her too. Still, she had her hang ups with him spanking previous lovers.
“I know it’s none of my business, but when did you start wanting women’s submission? Before you met me, when you were with women your age—did you discipline them?”
He took a long pull of his drink as he contemplated her question.
“Without getting into specifics, I’m a dominant lover—yes. I have to be in charge. But, Tink, you’re the only woman I’ve asked to submit to me; you’re the only woman whose total submission I’ve wanted. Anyone else I was with… well, to put it bluntly, she was satisfying a biological urge. Nothing more. You… you’re so much more to me.”
She was having a hard time processing her feelings. Shouldn’t she feel ashamed and that what he was telling her was wrong? How could his saying she was the only girl he’d ever wanted to discipline make her feel special? What fucking universe was she in right now? She was a feminist for chrissake—and here she was wanting to be submissive to this man?
The funny thing was, she’d never felt more powerful than when surrendering to him. Maybe it was because she was giving it to him, rather than him taking it? She knew she could take it back at any time. Relinquishing control to Jake was nothing like being with David. Her husband’s power over her had been for his benefit, not hers. He hadn’t had her best interest at heart; in fact, anytime she attempted to exert control over her own life or tried to have a say in their marriage, he’d felt threatened.
Not Jake.
She knew even though she’d offered him her submission, he liked her sass. Wanted it. She felt more equality with Jacob, even as she was bent over his knee, than she ever had with David.
Just then there was a knock on the door, with Manuel announcing, “Room service!”
Jacob’s eyes searched hers—an unspoken question evident on his face, and she realized she hadn’t responded to what he’d just shared.
Chapter Fourteen
Jacob
He opened the door and Manuel wheeled the cart with their dinners in.
“Would you like me to set up on the balcony or at the table?” he asked.
Jacob looked at Taren with raised eyebrows.
“On the balcony, please,” she said with a polite smile as she pinched the terrycloth material closed at her chest. She had dashed to the bathroom when she heard the door knock and came out wearing the fluffy robe she’d gotten from the spa just as he let Manuel in.
After the steward set their dishes out and lit a fake candle, Jake showed him to the door, handing the man a twenty on his way out, then came back and promptly untied her robe and pulled it off her, letting it drop in a heap on the ground. She looked sexy as fuck in only his shirt.
He shut the cabin lights off and escorted her to the balcony. Pulling her chair out for her to slide onto, he glanced down at the gap in the shirt to admire her braless tits in the glow of the LED candlelight. She really had gotten better with age.
Unable to help himself, he reached down to caress a soft mound of her creamy flesh. She looked at him with a knowing smile, but didn’t say anything.
“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” he murmured as he removed his hand and took a seat.
They had been interrupted after his admission that he felt the need to dominate her, and he was a little worried about what she was thinking. Not that he was worried she didn’t like it—her body had already told him otherwise, but saying the words out loud was different.
They removed the metallic domes covering their plates at the same time; the smell of their dinners hitting his olfactory system and making his stomach growl.
“This looks amazing,” she said as she laid the napkin across her lap. “I can’t believe how delicious the food is here.”
“Haven’t you been on a cruise before?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t really traveled very much.”
“Oh, baby, I’m going to love showing you the world.” And it was going to be in style—because that’s what she deserved, and frankly, he could afford it.
After taking a bite of her vegetable lasagna, she swallowed and smiled. “I think I’ll love that, too.”
Well, that was good news.
“So, I couldn’t tell what you were thinking before dinner got here,” he said nonchalantly as he cut his salmon.
“I think…” she said as she pushed her food around on her plate, not looking at him. Finally, she shyly glanced up. “I think I like our dynamic.”
That made him smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It makes me feel powerful, if that makes any sense.”
“I hope so, baby. I always want you to feel like you have control, but also feel comfortable giving it to me because you know I’ll always take care of you.”
She pressed her lips together, her eyes brimming with tears. Fuck! What did I do?
“I do know that,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been pinching myself wondering if you’re really here.”
He was kneeling at her side before the first tear fell, wiping her eyes as they did.
“I am here, Tink. For good—I’m not going anywhere. I promise. It’s you and me, baby girl. Forever.”
>
She wrapped her arms around his neck and her tiny body began to wrack with sobs. He lifted her out of her chair and walked back into the dark cabin, sitting down on the couch with her in his arms. Rocking her gently, he just held her while she cried, but his heart was breaking over how much pain he’d put her through.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” he murmured against her hair. His shirt was wet against his skin from her tears.
He’d been naïve thinking all was forgiven, and they’d just move forward with their happily ever after. It was going to take a long time for her to heal and completely trust him again—he realized that now. He was going to have to keep showing her how sorry he was and proving that he would never leave her again.
“Your heart’s safe with me, Taren. I promise.
****
Taren
She had no idea where the tears had come from, but it’d been a rollercoaster of a day as far as her emotions were concerned. Looking at Jacob as he told he was going to show her the world, she thought about how much fun that would be, then panic set in when she thought back to when he’d pulled the rug out from under her. But he was here now, and he swore he wasn’t going anywhere—plus with all the secrets he’d told her, she knew in her heart she could believe him. All that, on top of their discussion about him wanting her submission… it had all become overwhelming.
The crying felt cathartic, especially since Jake simply held her as she did, but it also left her physically drained.
She heard his stomach rumbling and realized she was still hungry, too.
“I’m so sorry we hardly ate any dinner. Now it’s cold.”
He reached over and picked up the phone receiver on the table next to the couch and started dialing.
“Hi, this is Cabin 1136. Can you send a repeat of our last order, but with dessert this time?”
Pause. She could see the features of his face in the moonlight shining through the window. God, he was beautiful.
“Whatever you have is fine. Pie, cake, ice cream… send it all. Thanks.”
He hung up, and she giggled as she asked, “Send all the desserts?”
Taren felt him shrug. “Dessert makes everything better.”
She put her head back on his shoulder. “So do you.”
His strong arms came back around her, and he continued to hold her in the dark, quiet room, his cheek resting on her head as his fingertips traced up and down her spine. If not for the hunger pangs in her tummy, she would have been content to sit there all night nestled against his chest.
The knock on the door came sooner than she expected, and she slid off his lap.
“I’m going to go wait in your cabin. I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”
She was sure she was a mess from bawling. Her eyes felt puffy, and she was certain her skin was splotchy.
He nodded. “I’ll let you know when he’s left.”
Jake called her back less than three minutes later; their dinner set up in the suite this time at the table that was bigger than the one on the balcony. In addition to the two dinners, there was a variety of desserts—ranging from ice cream sundaes to pies, cakes, and tarts, sitting on the table.
“Wow, that makes me want to have dessert first,” she crooned as she inched her chair closer to her plate.
“You’re a grown woman—do what you want.”
“I’m debating between having warm lasagna instead of hot, or a semi-melted sundae.”
“Go for the ice cream,” he said with a smirk as he took a spoonful himself. “It’s really good. Besides, you’re on vacation—you should have dessert first.”
Taren looked at the smorgasbord in front of her and shook her head in amazement.
“Thank you,” she gestured to the food, then to her surroundings. “For all of this. You’ve been incredibly generous. I really appreciate it. I’ll buy this dinner, since it’s my fault our first one was ruined.”
He lifted the silver covering on his entrée, the steam rising from the bed of rice next to his salmon.
“I appreciate the offer, but it’s not happening,” he said before taking a bite. “And it wasn’t your fault. You needed to let that out.”
Taren nodded as she scooped hot fudge and vanilla ice cream from the goblet and took a bite. She felt so decadent having dessert first.
“Wanna tell me what that was all about?” he asked quietly, his expression sober as he continued eating his meal.
She took another bite of sundae—bigger this time as she decided how to respond.
“I think it finally caught up with my brain that you’re really back in my life. I guess I’m so used to thinking about you with mixed emotions, I just couldn’t process everything.”
“Mixed emotions? You mean sometimes you didn’t hate me?”
“I never hated you, Jake. You obliterated my heart, and I had no idea why, so I was devastated for a long time. But I eventually was able to look back on our time together with fondness. You taught me a lot about life, and I really was happy when I was with you. Deliriously, ridiculously happy.”
He smiled and said, “Me, too, Tink. I’ll make you happy like that again, I promise.”
She gave him a sad smile. “I think I’m afraid to let myself believe that.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. “I believe you when you say you’re not going anywhere. You’ve told me some pretty heavy stuff that I don’t think you’d share with me if you weren’t serious. But I think there’s a tiny piece of my soul that wants to protect me from ever experiencing that pain again. Finding out my husband was cheating on me, didn’t hurt half as bad as the day you broke up with me. I really don’t think I would survive you leaving me again, Jake.”
He set his silverware down and looked at her thoughtfully, then slid to his knee at her side and took her hand.
“Let’s get married.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jacob
“What?! Are you crazy? I just got a divorce two weeks ago—I can’t get engaged already.” Taren exclaimed.
“Says who?” he asked with a furrowed brow as he sat back in his seat.
“Says me!” She took another bite of her dessert, not looking at him. “Why would you ask me that now?”
“Because I love you, and I do want to marry you. I can’t think of how else I can ease your mind that I’m here forever other than to make you my wife.”
“That’s not a very good reason to ask someone to marry you. Besides, it’s too soon. I can’t get engaged after just getting divorced.”
“I think it’s a damn good reason. And who said anything about being engaged? I want to marry you, not be engaged to you.”
“Oh my god, that’s even worse!”
He scowled. “This isn’t exactly how I envisioned the reaction to my proposal, you know.”
She scraped the side of the sundae glass with her spoon.
“If I thought that was a planned proposal that you’d given serious consideration to, I would probably be a little kinder with my rejection of it.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “I think you’re missing the point.”
“Tell you what, ask me again in a year. If we’re still together then, I think you’ll get a more favorable response.”
“We will be together in a year, and I’m not waiting that long to marry you, Taren.”
Her eyes grew big as she swallowed the last of her ice cream. “You’re not?” she squeaked.
“No.”
She narrowed her eyes at him like she was mustering up some sass.
“I’m pretty sure I have a say in whether or not I get married again.”
He watched as she struggled between choosing to eat her entrée or a piece of blueberry pie and tried not to smile. She’d always had a sweet tooth. She finally lifted the silver cloche from her main course and set it aside so she could start on the lasagna.
“You’re right, you do. But, you’ll say yes,” he said confidently, laying his napkin back across lap to fini
sh his dinner.
She looked over at him with pursed lips. “You’re probably right.”
That caused him to burst out laughing. “Gee, don’t sound so happy about that prospect.”
“It’s just too soon to even consider.”
Jacob shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
“We can agree to disagree.”
“Okay, how about this? Just between you and me—we’re getting married in six months. We don’t have to announce it to the world; it’s just an understanding between us. Wherever you want, with whomever you want there to witness it, big or small… I don’t care. But it’s happening in six months. Or sooner, preferably sooner. Cost is not an object.”
“And that’s another thing that’s going to take some getting used to,” she said. He noticed she didn’t object to marrying him.
“What is? Not having to worry about money?”
“Yeah. Well, you having money. I remember only going out for pizza if we had a coupon.”
He smiled at the memory. “Those were fun times. But, I’ll be honest, I had more money back then than you thought.”
She cocked her head. “You did? Why didn’t you tell me? Not that it would have mattered as far as how I felt about you, but why did you feel the need to keep it a secret?”
“I don’t think I was keeping it a secret; you made certain assumptions about what I could afford because I was flying in to see you all the time—I simply never corrected you.”
“Well, I felt bad that you spent so much money on airfare and hotels.”
He leaned across the table and kissed her gently on the lips as her eyes closed.
“There was nothing I’d have rather spent my money on than coming to see you, but I’m sorry you felt bad. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
She opened her eyes as he sat back in his seat. “You’ve got a lot to make up for,” she grumbled while cutting her lasagna.
“Good thing I’ve got the next fifty or so years then,” he said, trying to give her his best charming grin.
“I hate how easily I turn to mush with you.”
“You do? Because, I love it.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I’m up for this adventure with you.”