Bulletproof Mascara: A Novel

by Bethany Maines

  “Nikki, we’ve gotta go,” Jenny said, touching her lightly on the shoulder. Nikki flinched. “Nikki,” Jenny said, and took a firmer grip on her arm. “Come on.” She pulled Nikki toward the helicopter. “Are you OK?” Jenny asked as the helicopter began to lift away from the bridge.

  Nikki shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. She felt sick to her stomach. The helicopter rose and pivoted along a steep arc over the long line of black SUVs. Nikki turned her head away. She didn’t want to see Thailand anymore.

  THAILAND XVII

  Cleanup Crew

  Nikki sat next to Ellen and tried not to shift in her chair. Between her bruises, cuts, and lack of sleep, she was finding it difficult to concentrate on Lawan’s speech. It seemed to be going well. The other conference delegates were nodding along, and Lawan was impassioned, but Nikki had reached the point of weariness where she couldn’t track the words.

  “You got this?” Nikki asked, leaning toward Ellen.

  “Sure, sweetie. What’s up?”

  “I just need to stretch my legs a bit,” Nikki whispered, before ducking out of the conference hall. She reached the front lobby, where booths had been set up and a sparse crowd still milled around. She found a pillar and leaned against it.

  “Nikki?” said Laura, sounding confused.

  Nikki looked around the pillar and saw Laura Daniels standing in front of the doors, her head swiveling this way and that.

  “Over here,” Nikki said, stepping out to be seen.

  Laura smiled radiantly. She was dressed in a powder blue suit of dupioni silk that offset her blond hair and blue eyes. She looked, Nikki thought, exactly how an ambassador’s wife should look.

  “Nikki, I have to go back in, but I wanted to take a minute to thank you for everything you’ve done.”

  “No,” Nikki said, feeling uncomfortable, as usual, with praise. “I didn’t really do anything.”

  “Didn’t do anything? Nikki, it’s not just Lawan and Lindawati you helped. Every woman in that warehouse owes her life to you.”

  “What about next time?” Nikki asked, voicing Val’s doubts. “What if some other scumbag comes along and tries to do the same thing?”

  “We can’t predict that,” said Laura, shaking her head. “But what matters is that today they were saved. Today you made a difference. Today we are all at this conference standing up for the rights of women. Maybe all of those girls in the warehouse won’t go on to live happily ever after, but they got the opportunity to do so because of you. That’s what life is—an opportunity and a gift. You risked yours to help others, and I appreciate it.”

  Laura stepped forward and embraced Nikki in a breathtaking hug and then, covering sniffs of tears, dashed back into the conference room. Nikki leaned back against the pillar and shook her head in astonishment. She felt as if she were thinking through a cotton ball. Taking off her dark sunglasses, she rubbed one eye tiredly and then carefully felt around the edges of her Val-induced black eye. That one was going to hurt for a while.

  “Nice black eye,” said a gravelly voice.

  “It goes so well with yours,” Nikki said, looking up at Z’ev and slipping her glasses back on.

  “Mine isn’t as puffy,” he replied, pulling her glasses back down her nose with one finger and scrutinizing her face.

  “True,” she conceded, then reached up to turn his head for a better view, “but at least mine didn’t require stitches.”

  “You know,” he said, looking around the convention center lobby, “I didn’t think I’d actually find you here.”

  “I came here for the conference,” she said.

  “You kept saying that,” he said musingly. “I just didn’t believe you.”

  “What did you think I was doing here, then?” Nikki said.

  “I thought you were a foreign agent working on breaking the smuggling ring,” he said with a shrug.

  “A foreign agent who works for a cosmetics company? That’s just silly,” said Nikki, forcing a laugh.

  “I didn’t think you were actually working for a cosmetics company,” he protested. “I thought that was just a cover!”

  “But now you believe me?” asked Nikki, relieved but still nervous.

  “My . . . uh . . . friends did a background check.” He looked a little embarrassed.

  “And did your ‘uh . . . friends’ arrest Sarkassian and get those girls out of the warehouse?”

  “Yeah, they did. They’re running into a little trouble with the encryption system on his computer, but they’ll get it figured out. It’s not like they have to have it done right here and now.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Nikki said.

  “You know, even if you are really a Carrie Mae girl, there are still a few things that could use explanation,” he said. “What were you even doing there?”

  “I came with Lawan,” she said, extemporizing. “I’d been working with Laura Daniels, and she said Lawan needed help. When she told me about her daughter I had to do what I could. I suppose it was stupid to think we could do it ourselves, but I couldn’t let Lawan go by herself.”

  “Yeah, do me a favor and next time . . .” He stopped and shook his head. “You know what? Just promise me that there won’t be a next time.”

  “How can I do that?” Nikki asked, flipping her hair a little, as much as her sore neck would let her. “‘Helping women everywhere’—it’s not just a company slogan.”

  “You are trouble,” he said. “I should have seen that the first time I met you.”

  “Oh, you mean when you asked me to marry you? Seems to me that I wouldn’t have been in this mess if it weren’t for you.”

  “And good grades in math,” he recalled. “You really should have married Billy Hollis and popped out six or seven kids.”

  “I didn’t think you were listening to that,” she said, blushing.

  “I listen to everything you say,” he answered.

  “Right, I forgot,” she said, laughing.

  “I don’t suppose you’re going to be in Thailand much longer?” he asked.

  “I fly out tonight,” she said. “I don’t suppose you’ll be Stateside anytime soon? Maybe go on a sort of vacation or something?”

  “You mean like an extended period of time where we could use our real names and not get in any fights?”

  “And no one would shoot at us,” Nikki added. “And there wouldn’t be any riots. And we could go on a real date. And nobody has to lie . . .”

  “Yeah, no,” he said, cutting her off. “My company doesn’t really believe in vacation time. I mean, theoretically it exists, but no one’s ever seen it.”

  “Shoot,” said Nikki, trying to keep things lighthearted, but unable to manage more than a weak smile.

  “Ah, what the hell,” said Z’ev, and kissed her.

  She knew that she should have been uncomfortable. He had put his arm around her waist, and her ribs were bruised and possibly cracked and her back was laced with cuts and road rash, but she didn’t feel any of it. She couldn’t even feel her feet. It was as if all sensation were wrapped up in his lips.

  “Right,” Nikki said, stepping away and bumping into the pole behind her.

  “Exactly,” he agreed, shaking his head slightly.

  “Um,” she said, looking over his shoulder. “I think your friends are here. Why are your friends here?”

  “For Lawan,” he said, turning to glance at the three out-of-place men in suits. “We need her testimony.”

  “Right,” Nikki said again. There was the sound of thunderous applause from behind the doors to the auditorium. “That’s your cue,” she said.

  “Time to go back to work. “Goodbye, wife.”

  The doors sprang open and Lawan walked out, surrounded by throngs of conference delegates all trying to talk to her at once.

  “He is cute,” said Ellen, appearing beside Nikki.

  “Too cute,” granted Nikki, pushing her glasses farther up her nose and folding her arms across her
chest.

  “Too bad it couldn’t work out. Sometimes I guess all you get is the moment.”

  “Just the here and now,” Nikki agreed, and then stopped and slapped her forehead with her open palm. “Ah, son of a . . .”

  “What?” Ellen asked, looking concerned.

  “Here and now,” Nikki repeated to Ellen’s blank expression. “Oh, never mind. Here, lend me a pen.”

  Taking Ellen’s pen and a brochure from a nearby booth, Nikki wrote HIC ET NUNC on the piece of paper in bold letters. Then she began to force her way through the crowd toward Z’ev.

  “Hey,” she yelled, tugging on his sleeve. He made a questioning face, and she shoved the paper at him.

  “What’s this?” he asked.

  “Sarkassian’s password,” she said.

  “How do you know?” he asked, raising his voice above the chattering voices of the conference-goers.

  “I saw it in Canada,” she began, then stopped as a woman pushed between them. “It’s Latin. It means ‘here and now.’” Another woman bumped her from behind and Nikki stopped again. The story was just too long. “I’m a linguist,” she said, grabbing him by the lapel and kissing him. “It’s what I do.” Then she let go and let the crowd push them apart.

  LOS ANGELES I

  So Fancy Free

  “Hey there, little lady,” Mr. Merrivel said as Nikki stepped out of customs.

  Nikki smiled involuntarily. “Mr. Merrivel! What are you doing here?”

  She had left Jenny and Ellen in Thailand to return to their original assignments and hadn’t expected to see another friendly face until Dr. Hastings fired her.

  “What am I doing here?” Mr. M looked puzzled by the question. “I came to pick you up, of course.”

  “You didn’t have to pick me up.” Nikki was moved by his thoughtfulness.

  “Well, I heard you had a bit of a rough time at your convention. Nice shiner,” he said, pointing at her purple and yellow “black” eye. Nikki blushed and quickly put on her sunglasses. “I figured maybe you wouldn’t want to take a taxi.”

  “No, not really,” said Nikki, smiling again. “About the taxi, I mean.” She wondered a little at his ability to say things like “convention” with a straight face. She shouldered her bag and winced as it hit a sore spot. Mr. M took it away with a slight smile and together they walked in comfortable silence to the car.

  “How’d it go, by the way?” he asked, when he had tucked her into the car and they were cruising down the highway.

  “I think I kind of blew it,” she said.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  “Well, my partner was a double agent, Lawan wasn’t missing—she had the situation pretty well figured out—and I managed to get almost killed. Oh, and I also managed to blow the CIA guy’s cover. Not really such a good first outing. I’m pretty sure Dr. Hastings is going to fire me.”

  Mr. Merrivel laughed. “But you got it figured out eventually.”

  “Yeah, eventually. But first I messed it all up.”

  “Nikki, I’m pretty sure that if you’d messed it all up you’d be dead.”

  “Mph,” snorted Nikki, and she stared glumly at the passing scenery.

  “I heard you got the bad guy, though,” Mr. M said brightly.

  “Z’ev got him,” Nikki said. “I just threw a piano down the stairs.”

  “Who’s Z’ev?”

  “The CIA agent,” Nikki mumbled, blushing slightly.

  “Oh ho! Now we’re getting to the good stuff. Is he—dang it—what did that girl on the TV call them the other day? Oh yeah. Is he a hottie?”

  Nikki laughed. “He is kind of hot, yes. And please don’t say ‘hottie.’ It’s just not you.”

  “You don’t think I can pull off ‘hottie’? Hmm, probably true. Very well, but will the young man be calling at some point?”

  “I don’t see how,” Nikki said, falling once more into gloom. “He’s working in Thailand, and I’m here mostly. And,” she added reflectively, “it’s probably better considering the kind of work we do. I mean, how long could I pull off the ‘I just happened to be passing by’ routine?”

  “But did you give him your phone number?”

  “I . . . no,” Nikki said, suddenly stricken by that horrible realization.

  “Well, if he’s any sort of decent CIA agent, he’ll find you.”

  “I don’t think so, Mr. M.” Nikki sighed.

  “We’ll see,” said Mr. M with a confidence that Nikki couldn’t help feeling was entirely misplaced. “They wanted to see you as soon as you got in,” he said, changing the subject. “So I’m taking you directly to the office.”

  “OK,” Nikki said. “I guess it is better to get fired right away.”

  “Nikki, they are not going to fire you,” Mr. M said with exasperation.

  “Dr. Hastings does not seem like the kind of person to let circumventing her authority and ignoring her commands go by without comment,” said Nikki.

  “It’s not over until the fat lady sings,” said Mr. Merrivel. “Now stop being a Gloomy Gus and find me some good tunes on the radio.”

  Nikki fiddled with the radio settings until she found the oldies station. Soon they were wondering if you were lonesome tonight, giving Elvis cheerful accompaniment. As they pulled up to the front of the sparkling Carrie Mae offices, Nikki felt the good mood that Mr. M had spun dissipate, even as the wheels stopped turning.

  “Leave your bag here,” Mr. Merrivel said as she opened the door. “I’ll bring it back to the house, and you can stay with me and Mrs. M until you find a place of your own.”

  “You really don’t have to,” began Nikki, but he waved her silent.

  “You’re not getting fired, and you’ll need a place to stay.”

  Nikki looked into Mr. Merrivel’s cheerful but determined face and gave in. It was hard to argue with that kind of kindness.

  She squared her shoulders and marched into the lobby. It had the same sparkling, just-bleached appearance as the last time. But this time she noticed that a sense of calm presided over the atmosphere. Certainly the place was busy, but it was a beehive sort of busy, a well-organized swirl of happy workers. Nikki felt a swell of envy. She would have liked to have been a part of this hive.

  She pushed the button for an elevator and the doors slid open almost immediately, revealing Rachel White. Her frizzy blond hair was being held in place with pencils.

  “You used the Anastasia?” asked Rachel excitedly. “How did it work?”

  “Well, I’m still here,” Nikki said, without enthusiasm.

  “You were shot? From what kind of distance? The report was less than specific.”

  “I don’t know, about twenty feet,” Nikki estimated impatiently.

  “It’s a new construction process. Was there bruising?”

  “I’ll send you pictures,” said Nikki sourly.

  “Really? That would be great!”

  “Uh-huh,” Nikki said, edging into the elevator.

  “Are you on your way up?”

  “They want to see me,” she answered glumly.

  “Yeah, she’s interviewing everyone,” Rachel said, stepping out of the elevator. “I’ll let you get up there. Have fun!” Rachel waved cheerfully as the doors closed.

  Left alone in the empty elevator, Nikki felt a moment of panic as she tried to remember what to do next. Eventually she pushed the button for the top floor, and when the elevator stopped she picked up the phone and uttered the password for the week. Jane had e-mailed it to her before she left Thailand and Nikki had puzzled over it all the way to her Narita connection. In the end she’d found a bookstore in the airport and bought a copy of Alice in Wonderland.

  Don’t let him know she liked them best,

  For this must ever be

  A secret kept from all the rest,

  Between yourself and me.

  It was an obscure quote, and much like Alice, Nikki would have given a sixpence to have it explained to her. She was
still pondering it when the doors opened. Jane was waiting for her.

  She clapped her hands together and bounced up and down excitedly. “Nikki!” she squeaked, rushing forward to hug her. Nikki returned the hug somewhat awkwardly, feeling small scabs crack and bruises protest. “It’s so good to see you. I’m so glad you’re not dead!”

  “Me, too,” Nikki agreed fervently.

  “Come on into the conference room.” Jane began to speed-walk through the corridors. Nikki followed at a trot. “You know, if I’d known about Val being a double agent and everything I would have told you, right?”

  “Uh, sure,” Nikki agreed.

  “Oh, and he’s CIA, by the way.”

  “What?” Nikki asked, trying to keep up.

  “The guy! You know, your boyfriend? I know you probably figured it out anyway, but I finally broke his cover story while you were on the plane home. He’s definitely CIA.”

  “I kind of figured,” Nikki said. “And he’s not my boyfriend,” she added halfheartedly.

  “And if I’d known Dr. Hastings had figured it out, I would have told you first thing, if I could have,” Jane said, switching topics as she turned a corner.

  “Yeah. Of course,” Nikki agreed, not knowing what else to say and puzzled by Jane’s comment.

  “I did the best I could by sending Ellen and Jenny to Mrs. Merrivel.” Jane seemed anxious to clear things up, but she was only making Nikki more confused.

  “Wait, Jane,” Nikki said, following her into a book-lined conference room. “What happened while I was in Thailand?”

  “Dr. Hastings was found to have been in dereliction of duty and was relieved of her position,” said Mrs. Merrivel, looking up from the documents spread out in front of her on the conference table. She tucked her papers into a folder as Nikki entered.

  “Mrs. Merrivel warned her about Val, but Dr. Hastings tried to cover it up instead of acting on it. That’s why she kept piling work on me. She didn’t want me to delve too closely into Val’s case.”

  “She was hoping that Val would return of her own accord. Clearly that faith was misplaced,” Mrs. Merrivel said coolly.

  “And then Mrs. M had to come in and put the smack down,” Jane said, triumphantly miming a WWF-class elbow.