If I Loved You (Harper Falls Book 1)

by Mary J. Williams

  “I want you, Rose.”

  Even his voice was an erotic jolt to her already overheated system. She had gone from nervous to ready to explode in mere seconds. Jack’s warm breath bathed her ear with every whispered word. Had her ear always been so sensitive? She couldn’t remember, at the moment she couldn’t think of anything past the small patch of skin on the side of her neck that he was slowly caressing with the side of his finger.

  “Can you feel that, Rose?”

  “Yes,” she sighed. More, give me more.

  “Close your eyes. Think of nothing but my touch. Is that enough?”

  Rose moaned. Enough? God, no. She needed his touch; she needed everything.

  “One finger giving you so much pleasure.” He slowly moved the tormenting caress down her neck and to the top her spine. All her senses were zeroed in on that feather light touch as it made its way down the exposed skin of her back.

  “Imagine, Rose, just imagine. If just one finger can set your heart racing what could the other nine do?”

  If he hadn’t been holding her hands above her head, Rose knew her legs would have given out. She was feeling so much all at once and yet she wanted so much more. She wanted Jack—naked—now.

  “I’m going to leave you, Rose.”

  She heard the words, but it took a moment for the meaning to register. Leaving? Was He leaving?

  Rose’s eyes popped open. He was still standing in front of her, but he was no longer touching her, no longer whispering seductive promises.

  “What did you say?” One of them was crazy, and it must be her. She certainly felt like she was losing her mind. She could only imagine how she looked, her eyes wild, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Jack, on the other hand, looked calm, collected and utterly unaffected by what had just passed between them. She was crazy, but her sanity was returning fast.

  “Why did you start something you had no intention of finishing,” Rose demanded. “It’s obvious that you're as aroused as I am. Why stop?”

  Aroused was putting it mildly—and he was going to suffer for it the rest of the night.

  “I don’t do one night stands, Rose.” Which was true. “I have. In college hook-ups were fairly regular. But I’m not a kid anymore, I want more.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I want more with you.”

  Well, crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, exclamation point crap!

  “And I don’t. Want more, that is.” She took a deep breath. All systems were almost back to normal, and her legs were able to carry her to the front door. “Thanks for seeing me home and high praise for one hell of a good night kiss. But this is where we say goodbye, Jack. I’m sure we’ll see each other around town, but that’s it.” She opened the door and stood aside so he could exit.

  “I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at six-thirty. Nothing fancy.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and headed towards the driveway.

  Opened mouthed Rose just stared at his retreating figure. Okay, so he was the crazy one.

  “I’m not going out with you, Jack," she called out.

  Jack gave her a backward wave and jumped into his SUV.

  “Six-thirty.”

  Rose watched in disbelief as he pulled out and onto the street. The glow of the truck’s taillights was fading before she shook herself and went back into the house. What had just happened? How had she lost control? Had she ever really had it?

  Rose removed her shoes and slowly made her way upstairs. She carefully took off her dress and hung it up. The original house had had almost no storage space, so Rose got the contractor to knock out the wall between bedrooms and design a huge master suite. New bathroom, walk-in closet; all the bells and whistles. For the first time in her life, she had a bathroom all to herself. No sharing counter space, no picking up someone else’s wet, dirty towel. If there was hair in the sink, she knew it was hers, not her roommate’s slovenly boyfriend. Everything had been lovingly handpicked and paid for by her. She didn’t have to consult with anyone if she wanted bright yellow walls or bordello red bath towels. I didn't matter that she’d gone with neither. The point was she could have. That’s where the real satisfaction lay.

  She did her nightly bathroom routine of face washing and teeth brushing before slipping on her favorite nightshirt and crawling between the ultra-soft sheets that she had put on the bed fresh that morning. She plumped the pillows and settled back with a sigh. There was supposed to be a big, sexy man beside her right now. Well, inside of her if she wanted to get technical. Damn, Jack Winston.

  She reached over and picked up her phone. She decided to call Dani since she was less likely to push for details. Tomorrow she would badger as hard as Tyler, but for one night she’d let Rose keep her thoughts to herself.

  “Are you alright?” Dani’s greeting made Rose smile. They must have been more worried than she realized.

  “I’m fine. Tucked up in bed safe and sound. And alone.” Rose could hear voices and music in the background. She looked at her clock. Eleven-forty-six. It felt later. “You’re still at the ball?”

  “Tyler wanted to stick around for the witching hour, or as she puts it, when the witch shows up, sans broom.”

  Regina Harper never mingled at her Lilac Ball. She made one appearance, at midnight, to give a short speech thanking everyone for their attendance and generosity. People always grumbled. Why couldn’t she do it at an earlier hour? But most of the guests stayed out of respect or fear. And as a result they donated more money than they might have if they'd been able to leave sooner. There were raffle tickets being sold all evening and that alone was a major cash cow.

  Tyler stayed because she was one of the few people who could put a crack in Regina Harper’s icy façade. If you looked closely, she swore you could see little puffs of steam coming out of the grand ladies ears whenever she was aware of Tyler's presence. Well worth the price of admission.

  “And you’re stuck there being a good friend.” Rose would have stayed too if it hadn’t been for a certain asshole.

  “Someone has to hold her back.” Rose heard someone asking Dani to dance and her friend’s quick refusal. “One of these days she’s going to make good on her threat to douse Regina with a bucket of water.”

  “And get arrested for her trouble. Though if she started melting it would be worth the risk.” The bitter animosity Tyler felt for the Harper family had been stewing for so long it was bound to spill over eventually. Rose and Dani secretly hoped it would take the form of Tyler and Drew ripping each other’s clothes off. But for that to happen they would have to be in the same room.

  “So you’re alone. Quick off the mark?”

  “I have no idea.” Rose punched the pillow beside her where Jack’s face should have been. “He kissed me once and left.”

  “That was it?” Dani asked, surprise obvious in her voice.

  “He said he didn’t do one-night stands, told me, not asked me mind you, told me we were going out for dinner tomorrow night. Then he got into his SUV and drove away.”

  “Are you going?”

  “No,” Rose answered emphatically. “Probably not. Oh, I don’t know.” She couldn’t see Dani’s smile, but she could imagine it.

  “How was the kiss?”

  “I’m still recovering my brain cells.”

  “That good?” Dani laughed.

  “Too good,” Rose admitted. “Is that another guy asking you to dance? Go, enjoy. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Go.”

  Rose hung up and burrowed under the covers. Talking to Dani had helped, she and Tyler settled her. She was lucky to have them. Sleep felt within reach now. Any solution to her Jack problem could wait until tomorrow. As her eyes drifted shut she had one final thought—that had been one hell of a kiss.

  JACK HAD GIVEN up trying to sleep around three that morning and decided he might as well use the time to fiddle with a little problem he’d been having with a new program. His home office had everything he needed to do
the job, but he’d driven the few miles to the office instead. He didn’t need his bed as a mocking reminder of the sleep he wasn’t getting or the sex he wasn’t going to get for another three weeks. But at least he had a clear objective in sight. Not just sex with some no name woman but sex with Rose. Beautiful, funny, hard-headed Rose.

  He didn’t know why she was intent on the old love 'em and leave 'em routine. Maybe some idiot had hurt her with promises of a future that never materialized? He didn’t know Rose—something he planned changing very soon. She certainly didn’t seem like someone who would judge all men on the behavior of just one. But it didn't matter. She’d soon find out that this man meant what he said—starting with making good on the promise to take her out tonight.

  “You look like hell.” Drew, on the other, had looked refreshed, all signs of yesterday’s hangover long gone. His hair was still damp from his morning shower, and he carried a large cup of coffee in one hand and a bag of donuts in the other.

  “Kiss my ass and give me that coffee.”

  Seeing a man in obvious need of a caffeine fix, Drew handed over the cup without argument.

  “I was going to ask how things went last night but by the look of you I guess I don’t need to.” Sitting in the chair on the other side of Jack’s desk he put his feet up and took a big bite out of a maple bar. “Want one?”

  Jack just glared at Drew's big feet over the rim of his cup, annoying but not worth the effort. Then there was his friend's choice of breakfast. Jack could never face anything sweet in the morning whereas Drew had deep fried fat with a heavy glaze to start most days. The thought made Jack shudder.

  “Better now?” Drew grinned as he watched Jack drain the last drop of liquid.

  “I might live. God, is it seven-thirty?” He’d lost track. “I think I’ve finally gotten a handle on the glitch in our new security program. A few more hours of fine tuning and it’ll be ready for the last test run.”

  “That’s great, Jack, but the matter wasn’t pressing. There wasn’t any reason to come in and work yourself into the ground. You may be able to go longer without sleep than anyone I know, but even you need to get some shut-eye now and then.”

  “Call it a case of hard cock syndrome,” Jack said ruefully. “Oh, and don’t take this the wrong way, but I hate you.”

  “Sounds pretty straight forward to me.” Drew crumpled the empty bag and tossed in the nearby trash can. “So, who is she?”

  Jack scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “You don’t want to know.”

  “Sure I do. I might even send her thank you flowers if she’s gotten you tied up in knots.” Drew threw his head back and laughed. “You meet a woman you want to screw and for once in your life you have to keep you dick in your pants. I’m loving that bet more and more.”

  “Screw you.”

  “Not if you want to win the bet,” Drew laughed again. “Now tell me about this woman that kept you from your bed.”

  “I think I’ll pass.”

  “I know you don’t like to kiss and tell but—.” Drew heard Jack’s soft curse. “So there was a kiss. Must have been pretty memorable.”

  He’d only thought about it a couple hundred times.

  “It was alright.”

  “Sure.” Drew leaned back, his fingers steeped in thought. “Let’s see. Who is a sexy woman that you’re reluctant to talk about?" Drew's feet hit the floor with a thud. "You son of a bitch.”

  “What?” Jack jumped in surprise when Drew suddenly shot out of his chair.

  “It’s Tyler.”

  “Are you out of your mind?” For a moment he thought that Drew might actually throw a punch at him. And since Jack was fall on his face exhausted he wouldn’t have been able to put up much resistance. He was bracing himself for the blow when Drew collapsed back into his chair; all the fight drained out of him.

  “I’m sorry, Jack.” The anguish on Drew’s face was palpable. “I know you’d never do that. You want to hit me?”

  “Yes, but right now it would be with all the force of a wet noodle. Get back to me after I’ve had something to eat and a couple hours sleep.” Jack pushed himself out of his chair. “And that’s what I’m going to do. But let me leave you with a piece of advice you don’t want to hear. Make your move and soon. You’ve had ten years to figure out how to get her back, and you’re damn lucky she’s not married with a couple of kids.”

  He didn’t wait for a response because there was nothing to say. They both knew Jack was right; it was up to Drew to do something about it.

  “Hey,” Drew called as he was leaving the building. “You never told me the name of your lady.”

  Jack smiled to himself and kept on walking. His lady. He liked the sound of it.

  ROSE'S HAND REMAINED on the old guitar; her eyes still closed as the emotion of the song drifted through, the last notes fading away

  Dani had dropped by about an hour earlier damp from the rain storm that had blown in that afternoon. She liked to walk whenever possible, but she never remembered an umbrella. Fortunately some borrowed clothing and a hot cup of tea had warmed her up in no time. They had settled in for a rehash of the night before and segued into Rose playing a rough draft of Wishing. It was a sample song for the movie of the same name. She had finally given in to Sam Laughton's badgering, but she still wasn’t sure she was the right person for the job. It was such a lushly romantic story, and her music had always been raw, sexual. Almost angry. Writing these songs would be a huge departure for her, and it had Rose questioning the judgment of the Sam Laughton. But even more, it had her questioning herself. On top of that, because the original songwriter had dropped out at the last minute, Rose had less than two months to finish five songs.

  She waited for Dani’s response, but none came. Was it that bad? As she opened her eyes she heard her friends sniffle. Tears were streaming down her face, and she was searching through her purse.

  “I don’t have any tissues,” Dani cried.

  Rose grabbed the box from the nearby table.

  “It’s good?”

  “It’s us.”

  Rose nodded. In the movie, the song was about a young woman who was struggling with loss. The loss of her mother, the loss of the man she loved. When going through her mother’s things she finds a piece of paper with a list of wishes. Wishes her mother had made for her on the day she was born. When writing the song Rose had pictured Dani and Tyler, and herself combined to make the one woman. So the wishes were for them. Rose felt a lump form in her throat. It meant so much that Dani had understood what she was saying with her words, the love she was expressing for the two most important people in her life.

  “You have to play this for Tyler.” Dani dialed and blew her nose at the same time. “I'm so glad you agreed to do this movie.”

  Five minutes later Tyler was agreeing. She was the least sentimental of them all, but Rose could hear the slight catch in her friend's voice after she heard the song. “Rose, it would have been a crime to let anyone else write the score. I can't believe you even hesitated.”

  “It’s a love story.”

  “And?” Tyler and Dani asked simultaneously.

  They were going to make her say it.

  “And I’ve never been in love. I understand that people write about things they don’t know. But I loved this book, you guys loved this book. It needs just the right touch. Nothing too sappy or sentimental.”

  “Which makes you perfect,” Tyler reasoned. “Give it to someone who’s in love and they’ll turn it into sugary mush. What if the writer had just gone through a messy breakup? Then they'd make it cynical or give it too hard an edge. That song you wrote proves you have just the right feeling for the material.”

  “I want this so much,” Rose sighed. “That’s the first time I’ve admitted it even to myself.”

  “Then it’s settled. Great material—great song—great writer. Now that that's settled,” Tyler said. “Let’s talk you into going out tonight with Jack Winston.”
<
br />   “No need. I’ve already decided to go.”

  “That’s great,” Dani exclaimed. “What changed you mind?”

  Rose shrugged. “I like him.”

  “You knew that last night,” Tyler reminded her.

  ““Okay, it’s going to sound stupid." She took a breath. "He tucked my dress into the car before shutting the door.”

  “Now, why would that sound stupid?” Tyler’s sarcasm practically dripped through the phone.

  Ignoring her, Rose continued. “Jack was helping me into my car and the hem of my dress was hanging out. We all know plenty of guys who wouldn’t have noticed, or just not cared, and gone ahead and closed the door probably ripping or staining the material. Jack made sure there was nothing hanging out before he closed the door. Closed, not slammed.”

  “That’s sweet,” Tyler smiled. “Kind of romantic.”

  “But he wasn’t trying to be,” Rose explained. “There was nothing calculated or staged. I never got the feeling he was trying to make a good impression. I’d say his mother brought him up right, which from our brief conversation is true. But—”

  “Nature or nurture,” Tyler finished her thought. “Just because someone teaches you how to treat people right doesn’t mean you will.”

  “Exactly.” Rose thought of her own childhood. No, she didn’t want to go there. “Jack Winston is innately thoughtful. He’s careful with other people.”

  “Gorgeous, sexy, kisses that make your brain cells explode and a good guy? Why aren’t you running in the opposite direction?”

  Because she might have finally found a guy who worth running to. But that was too scary to say out loud so instead she kept it light. “It’s one date, Tyler. We can talk about it again if he doesn't turn into Mr. Hyde.”

  “Oh, we’ll talk,” Tyler assured her. “Dani and I are in a dating slump, so we need you to give us a few vicarious thrills.”

  They spent a few more minutes going back and forth about nothing in particular, and then Tyler hung up, anxious to get back to work on her latest commission.

  “Looks like the rain has stopped.” Dani put her phone away and headed for the laundry room where her clothes were drying. “These are ready. I’ll change and be on my way so you can get ready for your date.”